Stronger Than
by NotNecessarilyInThatOrder
Summary: "I said I was dying." Arthur sighed."I don't have time for this." "Would you have had time to retrieve my corpse?" Merlin thought, then nearly smacked himself when Arthur's expression made him realize he'd spoken out loud. Could Merlin have told the truth if Arthur had been willing to listen that morning? What would that mean for their future? For Morgana's?
1. Chapter 1

**This is an expansion of what was going to be one of my Inktober Prompts but just didn't seem to fit. Set at the beginning of S3 E2 but goes in a different direction. Title comes from the saying "A scar simply means you're stronger than whatever tried to hurt you" (Original source I do not know) which I think has a couple of meanings in this story. I don't own the quote or the Merlin series. Hope you enjoy.**

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"Don't give me that nonsense Merlin, I looked everywhere for you. You were nowhere to be found and Gaius insisted you never came home. Now I've tolerated you disappearing off to wherever in the past, but with things in their present state I cannot and will not allow anyone to gallivant off without requiring them to account for it. Now where were you last night?"

"Dying," Merlin muttered, an aching head and exasperation with the state of the Arthur's chambers prompting him to forgo any excuses.

"What?"

"I said I was dying."

Arthur sighed."I don't have time for this."

" _Would you have had time to retrieve my corpse?"_ Merlin thought, then nearly smacked himself when Arthur's expression made him realize he'd spoken out loud.

The prince took a few steps his direction, looking torn between laughing and throwing something at him. "Alright, I'm going to give you exactly five minutes to explain what it is you are talking about."

"There's... there's noth-" A hand slashing through the air cut off Merlin stammering.

"Five minutes Merlin," Arthur repeated, "Now start talking. And if I find out your "dying" was drowning in the bottom of a barrel of mead, I promise I will make your life so miserable you'll wish you had never stepped foot in Camelot."

Merlin stared at him emotions whirling around wildly inside his head. A part of him wanted to do what he always did - make up some story that made him look like a clumsy idiot and hope Arthur would be too distracted by his father and the kingdom to do more than yell at him. The other part of him was sick of lying, sick of fighting, and at that moment just plain sick to his stomach from being poisoned, healed, and dealing with the long flight back to the castle.

"You're down to three minutes now," Arthur informed him casually.

Three minutes was not nearly enough time for Merlin's sluggish brain to concoct any sort of reasonable explanation, so in the end he just blurted out the first thing that came to his mind - which just so happened to be the truth.

"Serkets," he said.

Arthur blinked at him."Serkets?"

"Giant scorpion things that live in the Darkling Woods. Their venom can be fatal." Was always fatal actually, but he hoped that fact would slip by the prince. It would raise questions he really didn't need raised.

"I know what they are Merlin. Now explain to me just what on earth were you doing messing around in that part of the woods? And don't say you were picking herbs."

"I didn't-" Merlin sighed and pinched his nose, the urge to tell the truth weighing even heavier on his heart. He turned his head and eyed the prince through his fingers. "Do you really want to know what happened?"

"I'm all a tremble." Despite the sarcasm, Arthur expression did hold some sincerity. That was enough for Merlin.

"When I was tending to your father last night I found something beneath his bed. A root of some sort and it was dripping with a sort of... black goo.. stuff." Merlin paused, running a hand through his hair. If the prince noticed the way that hand quivered, he didn't comment. "Anyway before I could figure out what the root was someone snatched it away and hurried out of the castle. It was late and they were in such a hurry I didn't have time to get anyone else's attention.

"I followed them out through the lower town, into the woods and saw them meet up with someone. It wasn't until I got closer that I realized it was Morgause. She took the root, and the two of them started discussing the fact that the king's mind was...compromised. The other person asked something about the next step in the plan and they were told Cenred's army was ready to march on Camelot just as soon as she gave the word."

Arthur, who had been looking confused and slightly doubtful up until this point, was now fully alert. "Morgause said this?"

"The part about Cenred yes. Arthur his castle's not far from the border. Even with a full army he can make it here in less than three days. We don't have a lot of time to prepare."

"Why would Morgause want to use Cenred to invade Camelot?"

"Easy, she hates your father. She'd do anything to see him destroyed. And since her scheme to get you to kill him for her failed, she's had to find some other way. I've no doubt whatever the battle going on in your father's mind is, it was put there by her. And Cenred is an easy ally for this sort of thing. He's greedy, opportunistic, and none too bright when it comes to people manipulating him. He'd be all too eager to invade a kingdom whose ruler was.. well.. not in the best of health."

Time limit on their conversation forgotten Arthur started pacing, his mind now fully attuned to what Merlin was telling him.

"You're certain they mean to have my father dead before the army arrives?"

"Either dead or broken. Morgause accomplice said that by the time Cenred's army reaches Camelot, the kingdom will be without a leader."

Arthur turned and considered him. "You overheard all this without getting caught?"

"Ah, well no." Merlin shifted a bit pulling at his sleeve awkwardly. "Apparently I'm not as good at tailing people as I thought."

Arthur snorted.

"When they got through talking M- the person that came from Camelot pointed me out. I tried to run but Morgause's men came out of nowhere and caught me. Morgause tried to question me but when I refused to talk she knocked me out. When I woke up she had bound me in chains and left me to the Sekrets. I managed to get free but not before one of them stung me. The venom I… I collapsed halfway back and only just managed to make it back here this morning."

Arthur was back to looking skeptical, but Merlin couldn't go into any more detail without magic being too obviously indicated. So, fed up and exhausted, he did the one thing he could think of. Dropping his jacket and belt over a chair he turned his back to his master.

"Merlin what do you think you're doing?"

"If you don't believe me, look." Pulling off his dirty shirt he shifted to give Arthur a clear view of his shoulder.

The prince's eyes widened at the sight of the vivid black puncture wound marring the otherwise intact flesh. It was small, no wider than the tip of his little finger but Arthur could see it bore deep into the muscle. The pain of the stinger's impact must have been tremendous, never mind whatever the venom did. That his servant had even survived such an attack was impressive.

He reached out slowly, intending to brush his thumb over the scar, then thought better of it and grabbed Merlin's good shoulder instead, turning him back around. Merlin followed his lead, allowing his tunic to fall back into place.

"Who was it you followed out of the city Merlin?" Arthur asked, sounding far gentler than he usually would under such circumstances. When Merlin glanced up the prince's blue eyes were full of worry, and not just for his kingdom.

That didn't stop the younger man from hesitating however. Telling the truth so far had been a calculated risk. Anything more might be suicide.

"Come on," Arthur insisted, "you must have seen him."

"Her," Merlin corrected without thinking.

"Her," Arthur repeated. "It's a woman committing treason right under my father's nose?"

"Almost literally," Merlin muttered.

"What?" Arthur frowned then looked distressed. "You're not saying it was Guinevere who…"

"NO!" Merlin gasped. "Gwen no, of course not! What would _she_ want with Morgause? Or Morgause with her for that matter?"

"Then who?"

"Arthur you won't bel-"

"Merlin!" the prince ground out between clenched teeth. "I'm not going to ask you again. The safety of my kingdom is at stake as well as my father's sanity. You know who is endangering them, it is your duty to tell me regardless of whatever you assume I will or will not believe. Now. Who. Did. You. Follow?"

Merlin closed his eyes tight then let out a sad, resigned sigh, met his master's eyes and whispered, "Morgana."

Arthur reeled back faster than if Merlin had punched him. For a minute he looked bewildered and devastated. Then disbelief, that which the mind uses to protect itself from painful truths, creeped in and his shock turned to anger.

"Merlin," He said, grinding the name out syllable by syllable, "you're exhausted and weak and have clearly just been through a trauma, however much you may have brought it on yourself. So I'm going to give you a chance to change what you just said. Now who, exactly, did you see committing treason by conspiring with a vengeful sorceress to kill my father and destroy Camelot? Think very carefully about your answer."

Merlin shook his head, trying to will away the tears that were burning behind his eyes. "Arthur.. I don't..I wish more than anything to be wrong...but it was her. There's no way for me to deny it, she was collaborating with Morgause. She made no move to help me escape, in fact she was laughing when Morgause's men were dragging me back to her."

For a moment the prince faltered, then he turned away burying his face in his hands. "No. I can't believe it. Why would Morgana turn on us? We've been her family, Camelot is her home. She wouldn't betray everyone who loves her!"

The agony in his friend's voice tore at Merlin's heart. Long helpless minutes passed before an idea flitted through his brain, one he seized gratefully. "Look maybe..maybe it's not all her choice," he said.

"What do you mean?" The prince asked, his voice dull.

Merlin licked his lips, thinking fast. "We know Morgause held captive her for a year. Maybe...maybe her escape wasn't an accident. Maybe she was somehow convinced Camelot is her enemy and came back to exact vengeance. It's even possible her actions are being influenced somehow."

"You're saying that witch is controlling her," Arthur growled fiercely although his voice now carried a spark of hope.

' _Not a chance',_ Merlin thought, but at that moment he'd say anything to save Arthur's faith in someone he loved. He nodded slowly, stepping carefully to Arthur's side. "Morgana might not even be aware of what she's doing," he said gently. "And if she is, than it's not arbitrary maliciousness. She might genuinely think she's doing the right thing."

The disbelieving look Arthur gave him would have been funny if it weren't for the sword that got pointed directly at Merlin's throat. He hadn't even seen the prince pick it up.

"In what universe is treason the right course of action?" Arthur asked, his eyes flashing dangerously.

Raising his hands in a placating gesture Merlin attempted to keep his voice calm. "I didn't say it was right, only that Morgana might think so. Which means we have more to worry about than just Cenred's army. Even if we can break Morgause' influence over her she might not react in the way we hope she will. Magic is a tricky thing, and you know better than anyone how stubborn she can be. Right or wrong, once she's made her mind up she'll be determined to see her actions through."

Arthur shook his head, lowering his sword. "It won't come that," he said with the confident attitude Merlin knew he put on when he couldn't accept whatever the alternative outcome of a situation might be. "Once we destroy Morgause, her influence will gone too. Morgana will be herself again. In the meantime not a word of this to anyone."

"But shouldn't we warn-" Merlin stopped when the sword flicked back to him.

"I won't have her maligned as a traitor for actions beyond her control. No, we deal with her between ourselves." Arthur dropped the sword on his desk then moved to a basket on the far side of the room, grabbing clothes out of it that he'd had another servant bring up from the laundry.

Pulling on a clean shirt he began to formulate a plan. "If she's acting on Morgause' behalf then there's a chance Cenred's army might try to gain access to the citadel through any of the tunnels Morgana is aware of. Which is most of them. We'll need to have defences in place there and prepare the army for a frontal assault. Get my armor then check with Gaius about my father's condition and also about setting up the infirmary."

"Go!" He half shouted when Merlin hesitated again.

"Sire," Merlin acknowledged. Grabbing his own clothes he turned to leave, vowing to prepare some magical defences as well. There was no way the two sisters would rely solely on a conventional attack, not with the power at their disposal.

"Merlin," Arthur stopped him at the door.

"Yes, my lord?"

"If you're right then I owe you an apology. And my gratitude," the prince added looking like he was having difficulty swallowing. "The sooner a battle is prepared for, the more lives can be saved. You're bringing this to my attention…"

"Camelot is my home too," Merlin spoke up, sparing him from anymore floundering. As amusing as it would be to see Arthur have to squirm for once, there simply wasn't time. "I'll do whatever it takes to protect it."

Arthur looked surprised at the conviction in his tone and Merlin realized this was the first time he'd ever said anything like that to anyone but an enemy. The first time he'd ever hinted that he was capable of being more than the way he appeared to be day to day. It was another risk, he'd played the fool too long to suddenly become some wise old warrior. But seeing the half smile and nod of respect his future king gave him he couldn't bring himself to regret it.

They'd get through this, Merlin thought to himself as he hurried from the room, he had to believe that. And maybe, just maybe, they'd come out stronger on the other side.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, wow! 14 people following a story marked complete. First of all, big thank you to all of you! 3 Second, I guess that means it isn't done?**

 **There really were a ton of ways this could go, but this is what inspiration gave me. It may not suit everyone but I hope you like it, and that it was worth the wait. And if you liked this as it originally was, I didn't change anything in Chapter 1 so it can still stand as a oneshot. And thank you to everyone who commented and favorited either way. Enjoy part 2!**

 **So you understand here's what happening here: Between parts Camelot defeated Morgause but it was Arthur who discovered Morgana in the catacombs. They fought but Morgana didn't show quite the same callousness she did in the episode, she's angry and afraid but not hateful. Merlin showed up and secretly knocked her out with the ceiling then aided Arthur in destroying the staff.**

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"How is she?" were the first words out of Arthur's mouth when he made it back to his chambers.

Merlin looked up from his cleaning and, obviously taking the concern as a good sign, tried to sound positive when he answered. "Banged up, but ok. Gaius said she'll be sore for awhile but she should make a full recovery. She's asleep in her chambers."

A profound sense of relief flowed through Arthur at hearing that. At first. Then the reality of what he'd witnessed from the woman he'd grown up viewing as a sister began to sink in, and the solace was replaced with sorrow and conflict.

"What are you going to do about her?" Merlin asked.

The prince shook his head, too many thoughts fighting for dominance in his mind. "I wish I knew. This isn't..Gods Merlin you should have heard what she said!"

"I heard some-"

"To think that she hid this from us for so long. This wasn't something she was influenced into, she chose this. Why.. of all things, she seen what magic does to people, why would she choose to learn it?"

"Arthur she didn't learn it," his manservant was quick to object.

Where once those words would have reassured him, now they just left him numb. "I really can't take any more false hope Merlin."

"It isn't a false hope. Painful yes but not false."

The prince whipped around to glare at him. "What are you on about?"

Merlin met his gaze and seemed to remember something that caused him to promptly backtrack. "Nothing I di-"

"Don't!" Arthur shouted, stepping forward and grabbing him by the collar. He couldn't take any more secrets tonight. "You forget I know when you're lying. Now what do you know and more importantly how long have you known it? How long have kept this from me?"

Merlin's eyes were wide with fear and slowly Arthur released his grip although he kept his servant pinned under his gaze. The smaller man licked his lips a few times and took a shaky breath before he finally spoke.

"You forget I'm not from Camelot Arthur," he began carefully. "I've seen magic come to people through no action of their own. It makes sense that that's the case here. I mean, how many years has Morgana had nightmares? How many times did she try to warn us something bad was going to happen? How many times was she right? I don't know much about the subject, but prophetic dreams are a kind of magic. And not one that can be taught. I think it was only within the last year that she recognized them for what they really were. What was she supposed to do then?"

"Stop before this kind of thing happened." _Obviously,_ Arthur thought. _Why would she do anything else?_ "Stop it before it made her turn on everyone who loved her. This is why magic is forbidden, when a person-"

"Stop it!"

Arthur startled at the outburst and glanced back at Merlin. The fear on his face had melted away and replacing it was an anger the likes of which the prince had never seen there before.

When he spoke again it was with a bite to his voice that anyone without Arthur's upbringing would have cowed to immediately. "That kind of attitude is exactly what's going to turn her fear into hatred. If it hasn't already. Clearly you weren't the one listening tonight. Or else you would have heard that this has been coming on for years, she's had no way of stopping it, and no one to turn to for help. Put yourself in her place. She was alone, with magic, in the heart of _Camelot_. She didn't have to ask for this power, didn't have to work for it, didn't even have to want it. Sometimes magic just happens. And when people realize that fact, they also realize they are being hunted and persecuted for something they have no control over. They get angry and rightfully so."

"That's enough! I won't listen to -"

"You'll listen to me say it here or you'll listen to Morgana say it while standing over your father's cold dead body." Merlin met Arthur's glare unrepentantly. "Because right now her reluctance to have innocent people be collateral damage is the only thing stopping that from happening. That's not going to stick around forever, so you have to find a way to reach her and fast. You have to decide that she's more important than your fear."

"I am the Crown Prince of Camelot, you will watch how you speak to me!" Arthur seethed, resisting the urge seriously hurt the younger man. Didn't he know what he was saying constituted treason?

"No I won't," Merlin replied, his voice now surprisingly calm. "I won't apologize, not for speaking the truth. In fact the only thing I regret about this situation is I didn't do more to help her when I realized what was happening. No," he cut off another angry remark the prince was about to make. "I repeat, she was alone Arthur! I know what that's like. I know what happens when a person's ridiculed and tormented for a power they were born with and you don't have the slightest idea what the reason for it is.

"Think of it like this: Imagine if your father died when you were a child, before he let you learn what was involved in being a good king. Imagine you find yourself in charge of the kingdom, responsible for more than you've ever thought possible, and you don't have any idea what to do with that responsibility. You know you want to do what's best for people, but no one around you offers the slightest support. No one is willing to guide your way and teach you how to use your power properly. Or worse yet you're crowned king and the first person you tell decides to kill you without even giving you a chance. They've got it set in their mind that all kings are evil and need to be eliminated because no matter what good their power can bring, sooner or later it would just go to their head and they'd become a self absorbed tyrant. That's what people born with latent magic face. You can't tell me that's just."

Hating himself a little, Arthur sighed in not quite agreement. "On principle no. But I've spent my whole life seeing the death and destruction magic brings."

"And I've spent my whole life seeing the good it can do. I've seen it save your life!"

Arthur stared hard at him trying to ignore the warning ringing in his mind. At last he seized the memory being alluded to. "You're talking about your friend Will," he stated, relief flooding his voice.

Releasing the breath he appeared to have been holding Merlin didn't correct him, although he was quiet for a heartbeat too long. Something suspiciously like disappointment flickered in his eyes, but it was gone before Arthur could ask about it.

"I was always there when Will needed me," Merlin finally answered and Arthur heard nothing but truth in the words. It made the next ones slightly easier to stomach. "No matter the risk, no matter what people said about him. I didn't do that with Morgana. I let my fear of living in Camelot get in the way and I've spent the last year hating myself for it. Don't make my mistake," he pleaded, "at least listen to her! You can't truly think she's evil, if you did you would have gone to your father without hesitation."

Arthur can't argue with Merlin on that although he doesn't want to tell him keeping it a secret is already starting to weigh on him.

"Her magic isn't going to go away," his servant was insisting." Sooner or later you're going to have to make a choice. Kill her or help her. She will never trust your father to understand what she needs. I'm sorry but it's true. You though…," Merlin had that look on his face that always made Arthur feel the other man could see straight through him, "she might learn to trust you. And if she does, if she can believe you are willing to give her a future where she doesn't have to live in fear, she might be willing to wait. To work with you not someone who believes the death and destruction bit is the only way. She could let go of her hate. Provided you have the courage to let go of yours."

Arthur shook his head exasperatedly. Did he really not get it? "You're asking me to accept _magic_ , Merlin. Magic that caused the death of so many people tonight."

"I'm asking you to accept that _she_ has magic and at one point believed as I do. That it can and should be used for _good_. She didn't do that today, I'm the first to admit that. She made the wrong choice and a lot of innocent people have suffered for it. But tell me sire, if there wasn't a time in your past when you did the same? When you thought you were doing the right thing but it spiraled out of your control, and the next thing you knew you were condoning something that sickened you, but you had no way to change things and no one to help you."

Years old pain and shame cut through Arthur in that moment and he barely turns away in time hide the worst of his emotions. There's no way Merlin could possibly know just how true that statement was, and Arthur can't tell him. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to tell him. Minutes pass as he takes several deep breaths, trying desperately to calm his racing heart and push back the screams that will haunt him till the day he dies.

Merlin's eyes are full of regret and concern when he finally turned around but when the prince shoots him a look that clearly says "don't ask" he obeys. Really he should have seen enough to let him know his point is well and truly understood. Something about his servant's demeanor implied he was fighting guilt of his own but Arthur's own feelings are too raw to try to contemplate someone else's. Instead he shudders slightly as Merlin steps closer - not trying to touch him, if he knows what's good for him he wouldn't dare - but close enough to where his softened tone is clearly audible.

"You may not ever expect people to forget what happened because of that action - or inaction - but would you want someone to say that all the good you've ever done and all the good you could do in the future are no longer valid because of it?" The prince doesn't answer, because really what can he say? But Merlin knows him well enough to know he's listening, and his next words are the strangest mix of pleading and commanding that Arthur's ever heard. "I don't know what will come of it, but you've known her for too long and put way too much effort into finding her to let it end like this. Just talk to her, and see where things go from there. One step at a time. Magic or not, isn't she worth that much?"

A thousand arguments and practically every word of his upbringing are screaming at him to say no. Still Arthur finds himself nodding.

"I'll try." Is all he can say, and whether it's strength or weakness that fuels the agreement he really doesn't want to know.

But Merlin gave him a small smile full of relief and pride, so maybe he'd made the right choice. Only time will tell.

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 **In case you didn't like** _ **this**_ **ending there will probably be at least a part three but again it will be a bit before that goes up.**


	3. Chapter 3

**No Merlin in this chapter (sorry ellat257) but he will be in chapter 4 (see note at bottom about that).**

 **Summary: Can Morgana handle hearing the last thing she expected Arthur to say? Can she handle facing the truth about what she's really done to Camelot?**

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Arthur was due to visit her tonight or so the guard outside her door, ostensibly there for her protection, informed her. For the first time in a week. Morgana couldn't help but wonder why.

He'd come once before but hadn't stayed for more than a minute or two. His actions then had puzzled her greatly. He hadn't immediately launched into an interrogation, nor had he pushed her to reveal the whereabouts of her still absent sister. If anything he showed up looking lost and sad and left looking more so. She had no idea what was going through his mind. But she knew if she didn't hear from Morgause soon, she would soon become even further unnerved.

The prince showed up just after she'd finished dinner, dismissing her attendant and ordering that no one disturb them. This time the desolated look had vanished, replaced with a determination that was almost enough to make her bend without even hearing his demands. Quickly she centered herself. If he wanted to start lecturing her than he could go ahead. She had more than enough counterarguments prepared.

A moment later though his gaze softened as if remembering something. "Merlin tells me you should be back to full strength any day now," he said, sounding genuinely pleased with the fact. "I really was worried about you. We both were."

For some reason the words caused a spark of warmth to blossom inside her. Rattled, she instinctively lashed out, hoping to catch him off guard long enough to recover her aloofness.

"Since when does Merlin show concern for my health?" she snapped. "He's usually the one trying to damage it. Deliberately I might add. Has he mentioned poison to you by any chance?"

Rather than confusion or outrage, the sad look from the previous visit returned. Along with a tiny bit of...was that disappointment?

"He's done more than mention it," Arthur finally said. "He gave me the full story, before, during, and after. He was a little fuzzy on some of the details, mainly because he said only you know the truth of your motivations, but I know enough to be sure as to his."

"And what, pray tell, has this knowledge motivated you to do on my behalf?" She asked with false sweetness.

"Its motivated me to just get through locking him in a cell," was his answer. Another one that caught her by surprise, although this time the emotion it elicited was nothing short of elation. Her joy was short lived however when, seeing her about to speak, he threw up a warning hand.

"That is as far as his punishment is going to go."

She blinked at him, smile fading. "I beg your pardon?" she asked, controlling herself with an effort.

"You heard me. This is something I am dealing with myself. I will not be informing my father of what happened and neither will you."

This time there was no containing her surging rage. "How can you keep such a thing a secret?!"

"For the same reason I've kept your actions a secret."

"He tried to kill me! I thought he was my friend." Even after all this time that still stung.

"And he thought you were his." Arthur said coldly. "You both betrayed each other! The only difference is you didn't act to save your home. You tried to kill him because you wanted too. The same as you wanted to bring destruction on your home and the people who loved you. And you know what?" he added before she could argue, "he thinks he can forgive you for that. I'm not so sure. And your fate is resting in my hands. Face it, you need him."

She winced at the acid in his tone but gave a humorless laugh. "Why?"

The anger on Arthur's face morphed into sadness. "Because as much as I love you Morgana, I don't really understand. I don't understand some of the choices you've made. The reasons behind them to a point I do, but why you felt they were your only option I don't."

Ignoring her feelings for Merlin for a moment, she seized onto the first part of what he said. "You say you love me but you did nothing but dismiss and belittle me whenever I tried to help you. You never aided me in defending innocent people. You would stand idly by and watch as those who have done no harm to those around them are slaughtered! Worse you contribute to the carnage. All to get a pat on the back from a man whose driven by nothing but guilt at being the cause of his wife's death."

"Leave my mother out of this!" he snapped, face twisting in an anger that rose to match hers. Feeling an odd combination of guilt and satisfaction she wisely switched tactics.

"You say I turned my back on my home. What exactly should endear me to this place? A home where absolutely no one bothered to help me? No wait, I take that back. The druids helped a little. They would have allowed me to live happily and peaceably with them. But no. Arthur the great magic conquering hero had to come marching in, butchering a bunch of innocents who didn't even try to fight back."

"We believed you'd been kidnapped!"

"Kidnapped?" she snorted. "They were _druids_ Arthur! They spend their lives trying to _avoid_ Uther's attention. Only to turn around and deliberately provoke him? If ever there was ever an opportunity for you to use your head to assess a situation that would have been it. But no. Your father's single-minded, irrational hatred reared up and once again you followed him blindly. No amount of professed love will earn my forgiveness for those deaths you so brazenly ordered."

Arthur's shoulders sagged and he stared at his feet for a long moment before saying the very last thing she expected. "You're right."

"I beg your pardon?" she repeated.

"I said you're right Morgana. My lack of proper information is no excuse. I acted unjustly and if another person behaved as I did I would see them as every bit as reprehensible as you do. By the way," he reached the pocket of his jacket, "I thought you might want to see this."

Stepping close he handed her a sheet of paper which she unfolded cautiously. Starting from the top of the page down to the very bottom were three columns worth of names, packed so tightly she could barely read them all.

"What is this?" she asked, although the sinking feeling in her stomach gave her the answer. Arthur just confirmed it.

"A list of those dead in the attack. The first column is knights and castle guards. The other two are those from the lower town. Civilians. Women, children. Read it, you knew some of them, I know you did." He held her gaze, silently daring her. "Read it!"

"NO!"

The cry tore from her throat as she threw the paper back at him. He caught it and pushed it toward her once again, grabbing her wrist when she took a swing his direction. Easily overpowered, she found herself shoved down into her seat, the situation invoking all the mortification of her 8 years old self being brought up short at her the sight of father's disappointed face.

"You dare scorn me for the consequences of my blind belief in someone, when you have brought the same terror and destruction upon those who looked up to you. Who counted on you to have their best interests at heart." Letting go he took a step back, looking at her with such disbelief that, to her annoyance, the feelings of shame intensified. "My god Morgana, do you not know how much they worship you? Half of them would prefer to see you be Camelot's next ruler rather than me. And you turned your back on them. You let your hatred of two, maybe three people lead you to side with a woman who would burn an entire kingdom for revenge on one man."

"I..I.." A thousand curses sprang to her mind but no answer. Any chance she had to get her tongue working was quashed by arms suddenly wrapping themselves around her.

"We can find a better way." He murmured. "We both can."

Pulling away she only managed to stare confusedly down at him. His blue eyes bored into hers, with an earnestness that she knew he couldn't fake. "I don't understand," she finally managed to say.

"Neither do I," he answered. Honestly, every time she thought she couldn't be surprised any more... "I don't understand magic, I don't understand where this all went so wrong, and I don't understand just how in the world I'm supposed to make it right. But I want to make it right."

He reached for her hand and she let him take it, not daring to ask what he meant. He answered anyway. "I do understand why you never trusted me with this, and you have to know that right now I don't trust you. It's going to take a lot to change that. But other people shouldn't be allowed to suffer while we decide whether or not it's worth changing.

"I can't fight for magic directly," he added, "not yet." At her sour look his voice took on a exasperated edge. "You can't expect me to just give up everything I've ever believed in the blink of an eye. But if you'd let me finish, I'd say that I can fight against injustice. Something that I clearly didn't know affected more people with magic than those without it. That is something we can fix."

She snorted. "Just the two of us can undo all the misery Uther's reign has brought on those least deserving of his wrath?"

He shook his head, neatly avoiding the accusation in her words. "I'm sure there will be others who'll be more than willing to aid us. Guinevere helped hide the druid boy didn't she? She'd do anything if it meant you wouldn't feel alone."

Some tension eased from her shoulders at that reminder. Her maid had always tried to help with her nightmares, sitting up with her for hours, and trying to encourage her to talk about them. Or just letting Morgana cling to her until she stopped shaking. Of all those left behind while she was gone, Gwen was the only one she hadn't been able to stop missing. Another twinge of guilt stirred at the thought that the battle could easily have left her as nothing but a name on that list.

"Also," Arthur continued, "as much as it baffles me to have to admit it, we're both going to have to rely on Merlin if we want to come to an understanding."

Standing up, he caught her dubious, slightly vindictive look. "I know you don't believe me but I suggest that, before you do anything all three of us regret, you remember that a big reason why you are not the one in the dungeons is because he begged me to talk to you first." He gestured to the list of names laying on the floor beside her. "They deserve restitution for their lives being stolen away. He helped me realize I don't want you to be the one to pay it. I doubt that's the limit of his help."

"What help is a servant locked in a dungeon?"

"Oh, as to that, I'm letting him out in the morning."

She threw up her hands in disbelief. "Just like that? You hold what I did against me, and yet forgive him without resentment. Why?"

"Because the wrongs don't equal Morgana. If you hadn't been the one injured by his actions you would see that. And because he freely admitted his wrong to me, and has shown every sign of true remorse for it. He's made no excuses for what he did beyond what explanation demanded, and he's taken his punishment without protest.

"Some punishment," she snorted.

Arthur gave another one of those sad, thoughtful looks that mystified her more and more. When he spoke he sounded more hesitant than she'd ever heard him. "It's more a show of trust. On my part and his."

"What do you mean?"

Arthur gave a 'do I have to spell out everything' sigh. "I mean, you know where he is, and you know where I will not be for several more hours. We're trusting you not to take advantage of that fact."

"Trusting I won't see to it he never leaves that cell?" she translated.

"Precisely."

"And just what makes you so confidant I won't do just that?

For the first time in their conversation Arthur's expression became decidedly shifty. A minute or two passed before he answered and when he did it was with an indefinable emotion in his voice.

"Two reasons," he said. "The first I've explained before, namely you kill him, you kill your only ally. I want to be here for you, and I hope one day I'll be able to accept that you'll use your magic for the people's benefit instead of their destruction. But so far you've done nothing to prove that's possible. You need someone who believes in you solely for the sake of who you used to be. And second, you saw what happened the last time you try to kill him. He was trapped by Morgause' magic, and incapacitated by a Serket sting. And yet here he is, alive and well, and only slightly more annoying for the experience."

Despite herself Morgana felt a faint twitch in the corner of her mouth. Arthur's next words replaced it with a chill.

"He's not defenseless, and he's not alone. You would do well to remember that in the future."

With that thought Arthur made his exit, leaving her sitting alone with only the crackle of the fireplace and way, way, too much to think about.

Not for the first time she wished Morgause would get in touch with her. It would seem there was far more to some members of her former adopted family then met the eye, and the abrupt change in direction was putting some of her most ironclad convictions in doubt.

Hoping to soothe her restlessness she stood and began slowly pacing the room, turning over various arguments in her mind.

The first and most obvious one was that this was all some kind of trick. That he was just pledging to fight his father's oppression to trick her into getting caught by the king. Her sister would certainly think so. But Morgana had grown up with Arthur. As much as he was practiced at hiding emotions, he was incapable of showing false ones. He had a distinct aversion to lying or even bending the truth in order to get what he wanted. She could only conclude then that he'd meant every word he said.

Could she trust then, that his plans in aiding magic users would succeed? That she really couldn't say. Surely even if she did agree to work with him she'd have to be on guard every day to see to it he didn't back out at the last minute, or be grossly overcautious in his attempts to make a difference. But that didn't mean he wouldn't put his all into the parts that he was willing to do. Would it be enough? At this point though, she simply didn't have enough to go on in that direction.

Would she be able to afford to wait and try to get more information? As to that she was essentially trapped in the castle. He may not plan on outing her, but Arthur had made it clear she was no longer the same trusted ward she had been before she left. He had full authority to have her watched at all hours, and had no doubt thought of many excuses to legitimize such actions should she complain to the king. So really it was a choice between spending her days being forced into the role of compliant lady and waiting desperately for a rescue. Or being forced into the compliant role and still being able to work behind Uther's back.

For the first option, it had taken months for her sister to formulate this attack on Camelot. It would take at least that long to come up with another, and she'd have the added complication of Arthur as well as Merlin (' _don't think about him'_ ) knowing she had a conspirator in the castle. One she would have a difficult time getting to.

Not to mention the thought of playing the helpless victim made Morgana want to vomit. At least working with Arthur she'd be doing _something_ , however much it wouldn't be enough. Would she not be a fool to turn down the chance? Would it be worth the risk?

Morgause voice in her mind suggested that if Arthur decided to turn on her after all she was in the perfect position to kill him. But that thought made her stomach roll. There had been enough death already.

As if on cue her foot crunched against something on the floor. Glancing down she saw the list of names still lying half-crumpled on the floor. Unable to stop herself she bent and picked it up.

Tears flooded unbidden to her eyes as she looked at it. Arthur was right, she did recognize a vast majority of the names. Worse she could remember the way some of them had smiled and laughed whenever she was around, as if her very presence was the only thing needed to brighten their day. They never knew how much it was she who had needed their appreciation, not the other way around. And now they never would.

Crumbling the paper in her fist she hurled it toward the fireplace. Naturally her toss missed the flame and the paper ball sat mocking her as sobs began wracking her frame.

As desperately as she tried to absolve herself, to say the deaths were the fault of Cenred or even Uther, she couldn't deny how blind she'd been to follow Morgause's plans without question. Surely she could have done more, could have come up with a way to avoid innocent people getting hurt.

But then no, no she wouldn't have. Morgause had a ruthless streak. Morgana had seen it once or twice in the year they had spent together. She might say the loss of life was regrettable but she would also claim it necessary, same as Uther often did.

A shudder of a different kind passed through her at the thought. If Arthur hadn't come to with her this would she one day have thought the same? Would she one day revel in killing people who'd never harmed her simply because they were in the way of what she wanted? The idea was worse than any nightmare she'd ever suffered.

Shaky and exhausted she wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep for a month. But the names now embedded in her mind told her that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. Following the way Uther and her sister did things would only continue to lead to this sort of outcome. She knew that now. Would Arthur's be any different? If there was even a chance it would...it was no use wondering. She would have to wait and find out. All the same she rather thought it might.

Arthur had always been a question mark. His attempts to keep loyal to both his father and his friends had made him inconsistent at best, unreliable at worst. He hesitated to commit to things. But he'd come to her of his own volition, knowing she had the power to give him a push if he slacked off, and to hurt him and those he loved if he betrayed her, and had made tentative promises to try to do right by those who were the epitome of all he'd been raised to hate. She had to admire his courage.

Maybe it was only fair to give him a chance. She certainly wouldn't begrudge the saving of lives, and if it put Uther out well that was the least he deserved. And she thought guilty, eyes drawn once again to the unsinged paper in her grate, it was the least she could do considering the blood on her hands.

Speaking of which, there was one more conversation that needed to happen before this could all be done with. Arthur had made it clear he was only giving her a chance because someone said he should. Someone who was now an even bigger question mark than the prince.

It was time she found out exactly what he had to say for himself.

 **To those who may wonder: Arthur hasn't been told about Merlin's magic. Simply because it would be way too much for him to process at this point and Merlin cares for him too much to pile that on top of everything else. But he does know there is more to him than he previously thought, and considering the conversations about the Serkets and the poisoning, it's feasible he could know about the dragon. The next chapter is from Merlin's POV so I could work that in. Not the reveal itself but a mention of it. Would you want that? Or do you want me to leave it where Arthur has suspicions but knows nothing specific? Let me know in your comments.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So I had this done but I wanted to give it a few days before I went back to edit/revise and then I was out of town without my laptop a few days more.** **:( But it's done now and thank you so much to everyone for sticking with me on it. Every time I get a new favorite/follow I want to work that much harder to give you solid chapters that make you happy to read this story. Really hope you like the interaction between the two this chapter. 3**

 **Summary: Morgana comes seeking answers and Merlin has to balance honesty over his desire to help her with honesty over the fact she dare not cross his king.**

Merlin shifted restlessly on the cell's less than comfortable bench, stretching himself out as best he could. The movement rattled on the chain connecting his left arm to the wall and pulled a sigh from his lips. Arthur had been reluctant to add the restraint, but Merlin insisted it was important Morgana feel safe and in control. Now he was beginning to regret the decision.

" _You sure you want to risk this?" The prince asked for at least the fifth time, as he'd finished securing his servant in place. He'd considerately attached the cuff over the sleeve of Merlin's shirt, keeping the cold metal off his bare skin. Still the dark haired man couldn't quite suppress a shiver as he heard the manacle snap shut._

" _I have every faith in you sire."_

 _Arthur frowned at him and Merlin lowered his gaze. "I have to," he said quietly. Glancing up through his eyelashes he added, "And you can't pretend you're not still a little bit angry with me."_

 _Arthur mouth tightened a little but he didn't contradict the assertion. Merlin waited while he opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally giving up trying to voice whatever was going through his mind. Instead he gave Merlin's arm a brief squeeze and moved to the cell door. "You have the back up?" he asked over his shoulder._

 _Merlin patted the outside of his jacket, feeling a bulge in the inner pocket. "For all the good it will do."_

 _Arthur watched him a moment longer then stepped out, locking the door behind him. "I'll see you in the morning. You know what will happen if you don't live. And I'll never forgive you for putting me in that position."_

 _Merlin wanted to laugh at the idea that of course Arthur would blame all this on him, but accepted that is was the other man's way of trying not to admit he was worried about him._

 _So he gave the expected nod of acknowledgement and tried not to admit his own fear as he watched Arthur disappear from view._

* * *

That had been hours ago and the secret warlock was beginning to wonder if their plan wasn't a half baked disaster. He trusted Arthur, and (so far) Arthur still trusted him, but there really was no telling how Morgana would react to her surrogate brother's reasoning.

He had just settled his head back against the wall, hoping to at least catch a few minutes of rest when the sound of footsteps echoed in the stairwell. He sat up abruptly at that, all thoughts of sleep forgotten. They were too light to belong to Arthur and only one other person knew he was here. He waited, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat as the footsteps paused just out of sight at the bottom of the stairs.

At first he thought she was checking for the guards (Arthur had dismissed them to the floor below) or else was trying to heighten his anxiety over the encounter (it was working) but when at last she showed herself it was with the attitude of one barely holding onto their own courage.

She looked, in a word, exhausted. Dark smudges under her eyes a sharp contrast to pale cheeks and red nose. If he squinted he could just tell that her eyes were red and slightly puffy as well. Had she been crying? The thought was both surprising and heartening. Arthur hadn't told him his exact plan, but Merlin had seen him pocketing the list of those killed by Cenred's army. He'd obviously had to use it. Merlin could only hope she'd gotten the point about who would really suffer if she continued seeking vengeance rather than peace.

At first Morgana hung well back from the cell as if unsure it provided enough of a barrier between them. When he turned so the light from the wall torches could fall on the chain keeping him tethered to the back wall she relaxed some, and moved close enough that at least he wouldn't feel like he was shouting if he wanted to speak to her.

Once up close, she stared at him with what he assumed was supposed to be cold disdain, but he could see an anxious tension in the line of her shoulders and the press of her lips. In the way her arms were crossed across her chest.

Her fear pained him but is was also something of a surprise. The Morgana he'd witnessed clashing with Arthur in the tunnels wasn't one he would have expected to be afraid of someone who, by all appearances, she had the upper hand over in several ways. He quietly filed the information away for contemplation later. Perhaps she wasn't as twisted as he feared her to be.

The longer the silence dragged on the more oppressive it became. He made no effort to break it however. Partially because he knew her leading the conversation would be a good way to judge where her head was truly at, and partially because he had no idea what to say. What did one say to someone who used to be a friend, and who you'd give almost anything to have as a friend once again, but who first you had to make sure wasn't going to stab the people who were still your friends in the back at the first opportunity?

"I want you to answer one question," she finally said. "Why are you trying to help me?"

That was not what he expected her to say, and it took him a moment or two to find a response that she wouldn't immediately scorn. He finally settled on, "Because once upon a time we believed the same thing."

Not the most informative answer but it was an honest one. Something she seemed to pick up on. Frowning she asked, "Did we not believe the same when you poisoned me?"

He sighed. "I don't know, did we?" Instead of the expected flare of temper, he caught her hiding a flinch.

"When had I given you cause to decide I was your enemy?" she asked, and oh did that hurt in her voice eat at him. Still he steeled himself to say the next words.

"Enemy? Never. But there was more than enough times you willingly proved yourself a danger."

She arched a dark brow. "How so?"

Looking her in the eye, he lowered his voice so errant listeners (should there be any) wouldn't be able to hear. "I know you're the one who stole the crystal of Neahtid. Arthur may blame his keys being swiped on an unlocked door but he is wrong. You took them. And you were the one who gave the crystal to Alvarr. A man who wanted nothing less than to manipulate a young boy into taking hold of a power that would destroy far more than just him."

"He was fighting for his people. You have to-"

"Have to what?" He questioned. She didn't try to continue. "He was a selfish and twisted individual, and however charming he may have come across, his intentions were evil. You were someone he could use to get what he wanted. Same way Tauren did. Yes, I know about your deal with him too. Really Morgause is just the latest in a long line of self-absorbed egomaniacs who saw you as an instrument of Camelot's destruction. And as long as they promised Uther would be among the casualties, you were happy to go along with them."

That got a rise out of her."If you really cared about those with magic you wouldn't object to that! You honestly want Uther to live?"

He shook his head. "I want _peace_. For _everyone_ involved. I want Arthur to understand that magic can be a force for good. That will never happen if all he sees it do is destroy. If Uther is killed by magic, Arthur will never accept it."

"Do you really think he will in any case?" she asked, but it sounded more worried than pessimistic.

"I think it's possible. You must too, or else you wouldn't be here. Given enough time, I have no doubt he'll be able to make Camelot a haven for _all_ peoples, regardless on their beliefs."

"And until then? How many more will die while you sit around and do nothing, waiting for Arthur to become king? How much more blood can you stand to have on your hands?"

' _Fine words coming from the woman who flagrantly raised an army against her home.'_ He made no effort to hide the bite in his next words. "I never said I wasn't going to do anything. And while we're on the subject, how many have died in the years since you've learned how to act behind Uther's back?

"We've already established you can get a hold of Arthur's keys without anyone but an insignificant servant such as myself being the wiser. And that you can then slip down to the dungeons, knock out the guards, and pass said keys off to murderous sorcerers that have yet to be heard from again.

"All these years you had friends - and not like Arthur did, I mean people who actually liked you for you. You had power, there were those who would move heaven and earth to satisfy your every caprice, if you only put it to them appealingly. You even had sleeping draughts. Between you and me, with how lackadaisical they get down here, an intelligent ogre could slip in and out unobserved. Why was there only one man who would prompt you to use your every advantage to spare his life?"

The look of devastation on her face softened his voice, and he stepped as close to her as his restraint would allow him too. She didn't move away. "I'll tell you why. Because no one can do it alone."

He continued before she had a chance to respond. "I was unfair to you just now. I remember what you tried to do for Mordred, and what you suffered when you got caught. But that rather proves my point. One of us alone failed. The four of us together got him out. This fight is too big to do alone. If we have any chance to succeed without the deaths of those who are simply too afraid to go against orders, than none of us can afford to take matters into our own hands. We have to…, if not trust each other, than at least be willing to not put each other in harm's way by acting without thinking."

"Like you did?"

He'd seen it coming but the jibe still killed him a little inside. Blinking back tears he barely managed to keep his voice steady. "You're not the only one who's hasn't always trusted the right people. But I stand by my decision."

If Arthur had condemned him for it, perhaps it would be a different story. But while the prince was angry he hadn't been consulted, he had eventually acknowledged the necessity of the action, and the subsequent secrecy over it. Not that he hadn't threatened some viciously unpleasant consequences should Merlin ever do something like that again. Morgana wasn't the only one being forced to reconsider playing the lone hand.

"This way won't save everyone," Morgana pointed out, apparently having decided the original topic was safer than responding to his comment. Privately Merlin agreed.

"Did your undead army save anyone?" he asked. Okay maybe not that much safer if her shudder was any indication.

He forced himself to stay quiet as she pondered her next words. Arthur would have be impressed, he thought idly. For all the times he'd been told it was impossible for him to not talk people's ears off, Merlin believed he was doing a pretty good job of only saying what needed to be said.

Eventually Morgana nodded as if coming to a decision. "If I do this," she said and for the first time he saw the barest glimpse of the eager, open-hearted young women she had been, "if I were to choose side Arthur's side, what would your attitude be about me and my magic?"

This time he didn't hesitate. "I would defend you in every way I could. Just like I would anyone else like you." _Like us._ But even her seemingly repentant demeanor couldn't force that little revelation passed his lips.

Giving him a level look she pressed. "And if I didn't?"

There it was, a repeat of the choice he'd never wanted to make. To have to deem one person as being more worthy of his loyalty than another... But it wasn't a choice he could avoid was it? He'd done it once, and so far had seen nothing worth changing his answer for. And given the slightly broken look on her face, she knew it too. He needed to say so though, he owed her that much.

"Arthur's my king." Despite all other chaos in his life, that was one certainty he could cling to. "Always has been, always will be. If it was him or you, if it was him or anyone. I wouldn't ever want to hurt you. But he comes first."

"I see."

"I wish it could be different…"

To his surprise she shook her head. "Don't. You shouldn't apologize for your convictions. Regrets are rather meaningless now. At least you're finally up front about where I stand with you. Behind Arthur." There was pain in her eyes, and more than a little resentment. But a flicker of respect was there too. Small but solid. Now to see what she would do with it.

"Regrets are never meaningless," he told her. "Sometimes there is no right answer. Sometimes we can't avoid repeating mistakes. But as long as that pain is there, well... it reminds us to always try harder the next time."

Her expression turned anxious. "What if Arthur decides he can't do it? What if he turns on me, on all of us. Don't think you're past loyalty will spare you if Uther discovers you're on the side of magic users."

"That's been a fear I've lived with from the day I stepped foot in Camelot. Actually you could say it's a fear I've had my entire life." He smiled a little as the full truth of that statement escaped her. "But Arthur won't turn on us. You know how much his knightly honor means to him. If he's given his word on something, he'll stick by it. I believe that with all my being. And I will help him do the best he can with the resources he has available."

Morgana sighed wistfully at that. "I wish I could say I had someone that devoted to me," she murmured, more to herself than him, Merlin thought. Before he could say anything she added, "But...I guess I don't know if I could have that much devotion to someone else either. To put that much hope in one person…," she shook her head, "I don't know if I have enough courage. I don't know how you do."

"You do. You have the courage to do anything." He'd believed that from the first argument he'd witnessed between her and the king all those years ago.

"I can't turn back time."

He laughed sadly. "If any of us had the power to do that, time would never go forward. There would always something we would want to do differently."

"I agree." Whatever else she might have said was cut off by an unladylike yawn that she didn't even bother to hide.

"Perhaps we should continue this conversation later?" he offered tentatively.

"I'm fi-" her retort was cut off by another yawn. "Very well. But I'm only leaving because I know what I wanted too. Not because you suggested it."

He hid a smile. "Of course. May I wish you a good night my lady?"

She snorted. "You could but it's not likely to happen. Although," she glanced around the cell, "it will probably be better than your's." With a shrug, and a not nearly as cruel as she had been giving smirk, she retreated back up the stairs, leaving him to face the remainder of the cold night alone.

* * *

She was right of course.

Even without a library's worth of thoughts running loose in his mind, his accommodations would not have made for a pleasant rest. As it was he spent the darkest hours in the muddled headed state both Arthur, and occasionally Gaius, claimed he lived in. Past regrets, present expectations, and future hopes, all warred for dominance and he was almost glad he'd been tucked out of sight, because he was sure this state of mind would not leave him fit to be seen by anyone.

Consciousness finally deserted him at some point of early dawn but the first rays of light that reached into the cell soon had it scampering back in the direction from which it came. He awakened to hear the clank of a door opening and the brush of someone's hand loosening his wrist from the cuff.

Rolling over he found himself blinking blearily up at the curly head of Sir Leon. Signs of his sleepless night were obviously written all over his face given the way the other man was smiling sympathetically at him.

"Easy there," the knight said by way of greeting. "The prince was on his way to collect you when he got called to an incident in the lower town."

Curse the man but he would say the one thing that Merlin couldn't just ignore in favor of going back to sleep. Forcing his weary arms to move, he shakily pushed himself upright. "Does he meed ne - need me?" he asked.

Leon immediately shook his head, not bothering to hide his amusement. Had he been able to form a coherent sentence Merlin would have protested the lack of humour about the situation. "Everything's under control. I'm under orders to release you and," lowering his voice so the guards - now back in their usual positions - couldn't hear, he added, "I thought I'd take the chance to ask: is everything alright?"

Merlin gave him a slow blink which Leon took to mean 'please explain'.

"Arthur specifically said to see to it you made it back to your room in one piece. That you ate, and that no one bothered you until he made it back. He's been on edge for days now and normally I wouldn't question, but…"

For once Merlin felt sympathy for Arthur and his constant barking for him to be quiet when the prince was trying to concentrate. He was barely awake and Leon wanted him to explain Arthur's behavior? Did everyone in Camelot have the worst possible timing?

"Arthur-" his voice cracked, and he forced a cough from his dry throat. "Arthur's fine. He's just trying to find out some snuff- er, stuff." Merlin sighed and the knight regained his composure.

"I'm sorry I asked. Of course, He'll explain when he's ready. Now come on, we better get you home before you pass out."

The trip back to Gaius chambers was a blur with Leon keeping a hand on his elbow the entire time. Merlin had thought that a bit unnecessary until he'd tried two steps on his own and had nearly fallen flat on his face.

Once they reached their destination he'd stumbled over to the table and shoved a roll in his mouth, more to shut up Sir Leon than his stomach. He'd further confused the poor knight by handing him a key that looked very much like the one hanging from the man's own belt, with the request it be given back to Arthur who'd know what to do with it, before he'd moved into his room and collapsed face first onto his bed.

He was fast asleep when Arthur came to collect him some hours later and so didn't witness the hushed conversation between the prince and Gaius. Didn't hear his mentor's worried confession that Merlin was gone all night and he had no idea where he was. Didn't see Arthur squirm slightly before reassuring the old man that his ward was fine, and (reluctantly) stating that he didn't need him that day after all.

But he wouldn't have cared much if he had. Some things just couldn't compare with a deep dreamless sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

ST 5

 **Summary : Now that one immediate crisis has been averted, Arthur has a few questions for his servant.**

 **Not a complete reveal here, I'll warn you but...well you'll see. Also this is about 2k words longer than the last chapter! :) Thank you to everyone who commented/favorited/followed since my last update. And thank you to everyone who gave suggestions so far. Some of them make an appearance in this chapter (I know I have a guest reviewer to thank for some of how Merlin breaks the news on a subject to Arthur) so if you recognize something as your idea, thank you and give yourself a pat on the back. Now on with story...**

An hour without Merlin was a relief. An afternoon without him, depending on what needed to be done, could be an inconvenience but was manageable. A day and a half was downright inconsiderate.

Arthur, who thought he'd live for peace and quiet, had now had far too much of it. Quiet made him think, and thoughts inevitably lead to questions. And when the only person who could answer those questions was dead to world in his room with a guard dog in the form of a disapproving physician...well, disturbing him put Arthur at great risk of ending up a guinea pig for any new medicine the old man invented.

That didn't mean he hadn't try to get to Merlin anyway - twice.

The first time Gaius had politely shooed him off. Although not without - and Arthur could have kicked himself for not realizing this would happen - expressing concern about his ward's disappearance. Now that he thought about it, Gaius seemed worried for Merlin often. If what Arthur was beginning to suspect was true, there was very good reason for that.

The physicians worry, and the odd looks some of the knights - well Leon anyway - were starting to throw his way were a reminder that the decisions made between him, Merlin, and Morgana, were going to ripple across other lives - and fast. Trouble was, for all his training in planning and strategy, Arthur was uncomfortably aware that he could only guess at the repercussions of those decisions the first few times they were made. He could only hope most people wouldn't arbitrarily react according to what they perceived was happening without giving him a chance to explain. Or to make Merlin explain.

Speaking of that idiot - he slipped into Arthur's chambers sans knocking only to stop short at the sight of the prince already awake and waiting for him.

"You're dressed."

Arthur sighed. "I think we have this conversation about once a month Merlin. I am capable of looking after myself every now and then. I have to when my servant decides he wants to laze about all day."

"You accused me of that yesterday. Is looking after yourself overtaxing your memory?"

The second time Arthur hadn't been able to resist dropping by Gaius chambers, he'd managed to time it for when the physician was out. That had let him get to Merlin who, albeit grumpy at being awakened, had quickly and concisely told him of the conversation he'd had with Morgana. Arthur had then given the gist of his in return. A comparison of the two had left them optimistic on the whole, but only time - and opportunity - would tell if she would try to betray Camelot again. They would have to be patient, something neither was happy about.

Arthur ignored the insult as Merlin finished laying out breakfast and moved on to sorting the prince's discarded clothes.

"What's Morgana doing this morning?" he asked.

"I passed Gwen in the hallway just now, she said the two of them were going to take a walk around the lower town. Gaius is allowing it, but she's under strict orders to just stay out long enough for Morgana to get some sun and fresh air. They'll be back before lunch."

Arthur nodded, picking absently at his breakfast. As good as it looked he had no appetite. "Good. It'll be helpful for her to see how the people are coping. And the patrols haven't been relaxed yet. She'll be quite safe." _'And so will everyone else.'_ But he didn't need to add that. He blew out a breath, bracing himself. "Why don't we get back to you then?"

"Me?"

"Yes. You." Giving up on the food, he stood and came around the desk next to Merlin. The other man shuffled to the side to stay at arm's length from him. "Over the last few days you've said several things that at the time didn't register as important. But if there is one advantage of having a day and a half with a servant who knows how to be invisible, it's that your work isn't constantly interrupted. And when you can actually finish all you have to get done in a timely fashion, things that have been tucked to the back of your mind have opportunity to work their way back to your active memory."

"Such as?"

"Serkets." He gave the word the same blunt inflection Merlin had two weeks ago. Had it really only been two weeks?

"Serkets?" Merlin asked. He would have succeeded in selling the only casually interested attitude if it weren't for the flicker of unease in his eyes. Which there could be any number of reasons for, Arthur reminded himself. If he didn't want Merlin clamming up - or worse, running away - he was going to have to be extra careful with his approach.

Whatever was hiding behind those walls had better be worth it.

Keeping his voice low and steady, the way he would around a shy horse, the prince continued, "It's all right, I'm not going to blame you for something beyond your control. I just want answers." The look Merlin gave him was six kinds of intense and Arthur almost had to turn away. "I know Camelot's lands inside and out. Night patrols don't ever enter the Darkling Woods without the utmost precautions being taken. Because they know there is no way to survive a Serket attack like the one you had. Not without help."

Merlin was quiet for a long minute, giving off no clue what he was thinking. "What do you want me to say?" he finally asked.

"Just tell me how you were healed." The way his servant paled, colored, then immediately tried to evade the question, was all the confirmation Arthur needed that something unusual - and more than likely illegal - had happened.

"What makes you think I know what happened? How do you know I didn't fall unconscious and wake up healed and on the road back?"

"Because if you're going to risk your life healing someone with magic you're not going to then turn around and leave the person you saved to fend for himself. Even if he was no longer in danger of dying."

"And you would know this how?"

Interesting. Here Arthur thought him saying the word magic first would be all the reassurance Merlin would need. He wouldn't have to be the one to admit anything, only confirm the supposition. Antagonism was new for him though, and Arthur couldn't help but wonder if it was covering more than just fear.

"I'm not going to hunt them down," he promised. "You don't even have to give me the person's name. I just want to know which druid camp I need to discreetly shield from investigation next time something happens."

There was clearly a barb on the tip of Merlin's tongue, most likely along the lines of ' _all of them_ ', but at the last minute he swallowed it back, raising an eyebrow instead. "So you value my life enough to reward someone who saved it?"

"No. It's not a reward. And I certainly wouldn't go as far as to say your life is valuable to me." Arthur replied.

A sly smile flitted across Merlin's face. "How far would you go?"

Mentally kicking himself for not seeing that neat little trap he'd set himself up for, Arthur sputtered for a minute before recovering. "I don't actively dislike you," he said when Merlin refused to take his haughty sniff for an answer. "Happy now?"

"Mmmm, I'd be happier if I didn't have to go wash your smelly socks but…" Merlin reached for the laundry basket but Arthur neatly stepped in between.

"Nice try, but evasion really isn't your strong suit."

Merlin blinked confusedly at that. "I rather thought it was."

"Merlin if you don't give me a straight answer, smelly socks are going to be the least of your worries."

That earned him a glare, but eventually capitulation followed. "I wasn't healed by a druid. I wasn't healed by a sorcerer. Or a wizard, or a witch, or a warlock, or any other name for a magical person that you can think of. Is that clear enough for your pratness?" The look in Merlin's eyes dared Arthur to get around that statement.

Not one to refuse even a silent challenge, he did just that. "Fine, it wasn't a sorcerer. Doesn't mean magic wasn't necessary. Have some kind of lucky charm you keep on you?"

"Even you can't think I'm that stupid."

"No, you're right. Not to mention you've been arrested too many times. If nothing else the witchfinder would have found it."

"Oh thanks, that's absolutely the subject to bring up when you're trying to get me to admit to working with a magic user!"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "I never said you were working with them. You know I've never actually believed you to be a traitor."

Merlin's darkened expression immediately made it clear that was the wrong thing to say. "But you believed Gaius was, didn't you? You wouldn't have done a single thing to stop his execution if Gwen hadn't shamed you into it."

The words would have been bad enough if he'd shouted them. But the whispered, almost growl like, tone coupled with the fact he spoke nothing but the plain, unavoidable truth, caused the prince's stomach to churn with regret. It wasn't a feeling he appreciated being pushed on him, and it took every ounce of self control he had not to lash back in self defense.

Miraculously the charged moment passed with no altercation, and the unspoken apologies exchanged in the silence gradually calmed both men. At last Arthur offered up the only other solution he could think of to his original question. However ridiculous he felt in saying it out loud.

"Unicorn?"

Merlin looked up from whatever it was he'd found interesting on the floor and glanced around the room.

"Are you hallucinating now?"

The tease dissolved the last of the tension and Arthur shoved him lightly in retaliation, inwardly pleased when it prompted an answering shove. "The unicorn we found wasn't too far away from where you said you were attacked," he said, by way of explanation. "It seemed to know you were fond of it. Was it what helped you?"

A faint smile lit the other man's face and Arthur felt a swell of triumph. Then Merlin shook his dark head of hair and the victorious feeling turned sour. His shoulders dropped then, in a rather unprincely slump of defeat. Oddly, (though maybe not, this was Merlin), that did more to get cooperation than anything else he had tried.

"It wasn't a unicorn," Merlin told him, his voice soft with uncertainty. "But...you are getting warmer."

* * *

Arthur chewed on that statement over the next few hours after Merlin managed to escape his supervision. He'd all but admitted to a magical creature being the instrument of his rescue. How and what should be done about that were things to ponder. But Arthur settled on first finding out what creature it was. His knowledge of such things was limited, something that perhaps was a problem. Sooner or later he was going to encounter such a creature and not have time to run to Gaius for a way to defeat it, or to find out if he should defeat it.

Of course it was always possible Merlin knew more about the subject then he let on. In fact Arthur was almost convinced that he did. Now to find a way to prove that…

* * *

"Are there fairies in Camelot?"

Merlin's reaction to that not quite innocent inquiry was disturbing. He froze in the process of making Arthur's bed, eyes wide, and gave a quick, involuntary shudder. "Yes," he said, voice tight with tension. "And no."

Arthur got the distinct impression that was all he was going to say on the subject. Which was fine. He'd answered the implied question at least.

"How about a satyr?" That got another negative, but a calmer one this time.

"Hippogryph?"

Merlin looked at him suspiciously. "You are making that up."

"I am not."

"Really? Where did you get the name from? For that matter, where are you getting any of these names from? I thought you weren't taught about anything to do with magic. Aside from you know, that it's unequivocally evil." His tone made it clear how he felt about that statement, a fact Arthur tucked in a corner of his mind to try not to think about later.

"I wasn't," he answered. "But there is plenty of information on the subject if you know where to look."

"Where?" Merlin raised a doubting eyebrow although he looked far too interested for Arthur's liking.

"Here and there. Places only those of sufficient rank are privy to."

Merlin snorted at that, piling up the last of the pillows on top of the comforter. He then grabbed a polishing rag and informed the prince he would be in the armory, should whatever book Arthur had pilfered from the library yield any other likely candidates.

* * *

"Got any more?" Merlin queried that evening when they returned to Arthur's chambers after a long, tension filled dinner with Uther and Morgana.

"Several." Arthur answered tugging off his formal jacket and tossing it on the floor at Merlin's feet. "Basilisk, Chimera, Centaur, Manticore, and some sort of fish horse thing that I forget the name of."

"Hippocampi?"

"Yes! Wait, that was it?!"

"No, it's just the proper name for them. It would have been impossible for one of them to heal me. They only live in saltwater."

"Oh."

"Also are you reading the descriptions of these creatures or not? Because basilisks and chimeras are probably more deadly than the serkets, and a centaur even it decided to be helpful, would likely be too drunk to be of any good." He paused for a moment with a slight frown. "Not sure what a manticore is but I seriously doubt I would want to meet one."

Arthur narrowed his eyes. He'd played this game all day and it'd gotten him nowhere. Time for plan B. "Well I suppose that's it then."

Merlin laughed. "Don't give up now, you have so many more choices." When Arthur merely glared at him his smile faded and he cocked his head curiously. "You're really done?"

"I'm done guessing." Arthur paused just long enough to see Merlin's shoulders relax slightly, before moving to his wardrobe and picking up the two bags he'd packed earlier while Merlin was busy running pointless errands to try to avoid him. He held one out to his servant. "Take this."

"What for?"

"If you won't tell me what creature it was, I'm just going to have to go find it for myself. You're coming along may or may not be smart but I'm tired of your disappearing acts. Better if I keep you in sight. Let's go."

"What, now?"

"Why not? Any later and there won't be even a hint of light left. It's not likely to be easy to find as it is, I don't want to have to depend on torches the whole time."

"What makes you think you'll find it at all?"

"What's there to stop me?"

"What's there to stop you?!" Merlin sputtered. "Now I know you're thick. In case you've forgotten, the woods are crawling with Serkets!"

"All the more reason for our friendly beast to show itself. I don't mean it any harm. And should I get stung, and it's truly the benevolent creature you've been implying it is, it's not going to let a wounded man die without trying to help."

"It's a magical creature Arthur. And you're...you. What makes you think it'll want to help?"

Trying to ignore the emotional sting those words caused, Arthur focused on the practical. "If it's intelligent enough to recognize me, it'll be intelligent to understand your telling it I'm not going to kill it. That I just want to know what potential friendly magical creatures exist."

Merlin didn't seem to know how to argue with that and, rather pleased with himself for leaving him tongue tied, Arthur turned to exit the room.

He was on the point of pushing the door open when a hand snatched his arm back. Glancing down he saw the white knuckle grip Merlin had on his sleeve. His head was deliberately turned away from Arthur but what little could be seen of his face was equally pale.

"I don't know everything in the world Arthur," he said, in one last desperate attempt to make him stay, Arthur thought, "but I know for a fact the d-creature won't be there."

"Why?" the prince countered unmercifully. He was getting to the bottom of this, and he was doing it tonight. "Did healing you kill it?"

"No, it's not dead. Just... gone." Merlin's breath was coming quickly and Arthur could see actual sweat beading up on his forehead. A trendle of worry passed through him, temporarily overriding his irritation. Merlin was too busy having a mild panic to notice. "The creature... he… he only showed up because...I made him show up. I called for him."

"You called for him?" Arthur repeated, worry now replaced with confusion. "You want to explain how it's possible for you to summon a magical creature?"

Merlin backed away until he was leaning up against the desk. Wetting his lips, he breathed deeply for several minutes before he finally looked up at Arthur. "You said you wouldn't judge me for something I can't help."

Now Arthur's heart was picking up speed. "I remember," he said carefully.

"I could call him because... because my father could call him. It was a role my father held, on his death it came to me. I had as much control over it as you have over being the next king."

There were so many questions that sentence raised but for some reason the one that slipped out was an indigent, "You told me you didn't know who you're father was."

"At the time that was true."

"That was only a year ago, when did you find out about him?"

"When we needed his help." Merlin answered, now infuriatingly calm.

"When we...that is incredibly unhelpful."

"Fine, you want another hint, how's this? I don't cry over strangers."

Arthur frowned, trying to recall the few occasions he'd seen Merlin cry. There was the unicorn's death of course, but maybe he'd had a sense of what was coming as a result of it's death. And now that he knew the story behind the day Morgana disappeared, the tears tracks on Merlin's cheeks then made sense too. Of course, nether Morgana nor the unicorn could be Merlin's father by any stretch of the imagination anyway. But who could?

Some of the knights he'd seen killed had been old enough, but surely Merlin would have said something if it'd been one of them. If he had proof he was a dead knight's son - legitimate or not - Arthur would have seen to it he'd gotten some sort of provision. It wasn't like many knights had families anyway. But they wouldn't have had to seek out a knight to get their help. And Merlin had never been upset to the point of tears over any of their deaths. Not even when one of them died saving his life...oh please no.

Scenes flashed unbidden through Arthur's mind: Merlin spending the journey out distracted and unusually quiet. His extreme determination to get their new acquaintance to cooperate, almost taking it personally when he'd refused. Relief beyond that of a concerned citizen when Balinor had turned up after all. The way he'd been clinging to the dead dragonlord's body after he'd died.

Then the more subtle signs that he'd seen but never thought about: Conversations that cut off when he'd drifted too close. The way the two had smiled at each that last night by the fire. The way Merlin's cheerfulness had had a forced edge to it for days after the dragons defeat, and how he'd kept within arms reach of Gaius whenever possible.

It all made sense. Terrible, honest, brutal sense. And he absolutely no idea what to do about it.

Not for the first time Arthur cursed the upbringing and position that forced him to remain stoic and practical in the face of tragedy. Surely no one else habitually said the worst possible thing when someone they were close to was dealing with a horrific loss. And a loss such as he was intimately familiar with.

Merlin's face was etched with grief but there was also a gnawing guilt present. The kind that said if it wasn't for him, his parent would still be alive. Arthur distinctly remembered the first day he had understood what it meant that his mother had died bringing him into the world. The number of nights he'd spent crying himself to sleep following that revelation was uncountable.

That thought was what finally forced his frozen limbs into action and he moved cautiously over to where Merlin was still slumped against the desk, arms wrapped tight in a self hug. Resting a gentle hand on his shoulder Arthur squeezed it lightly. It was a rather pathetic attempt at comfort really, but Merlin seemed to appreciate it. After a moment or two he blinked his eyes clear and gave his master a facsimile of a smile.

"I'm sorry." Arthur managed softly.

Merlin sniffed and tried to smile again but didn't otherwise respond.

Though he hated himself for taking advantage of his friend's vulnerable moment Arthur had to ask, "When you say your father's gift, you mean controlling the... dragon?"

The other man paled and gave a nervous nod.

"The dragon who's still alive?"

Merlin nodded again, shrinking back from him just a little, before squaring his shoulders in anticipation of the prince's wrath.

He was right to worry, as confused outrage was the first emotion that surfaced in Arthur's brain. Fortunately for Merlin, he managed to tamp it down and stick to an ask first, strangle manservant second approach, rather than the reverse. Punishment for the lie could come later, right now he needed facts.

"So you're a Dragonlord now?" Merlin nodded again, not looking at him. Grabbing the man's chin, Arthur forced their eyes to meet. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know exactly. Father said it was a kinship of sorts. That the dragons can be made to obey their lord's commands but that they should also be treated with respect. He didn't exactly have time to explain the details of how it all worked."

"He never want to kill the dragon did he? Did he ask you to let it go?"

Merlin shook his head, tears resurfacing. "His last words were telling me how to kill him. And I planned to, I did. As many times as he betrayed me it was nothing less than what he deserved. But I couldn't."

Arthur sighed, dropping his hand. "Why?" It was all he could say just then.

"Because he'd also helped me. Not out of the goodness of his heart, I see that now. But that doesn't change the fact I owe him your life several times over." That made absolutely no sense, but before Arthur could comment Merlin continued. "And when I spoke to him that night I...I felt my father there with me. And I knew if I killed Kilgharrah, I would lose that connection - maybe forever." He shook his head and met the prince's eyes. "My father died in my arms after less than a day of acknowledging me as his son. What would you have done?"

Arthur looked away, rubbing his forehead as that question played over and over in his mind. He'd been prepared to kill his own father based on five minutes talk with an image of his mother. Who may or may not have really been his mother. That desperation to have any connection to an absent - and now deceased - parent, it was something he instinctively understood. Part of him wanted to drop the matter then and there. But he did have a kingdom to protect.

"Where is the dragon now Merlin?"

Merlin sniffed, wiping his eyes. "After he healed me, he brought me as far as the clearing where we faced off against him. Then he headed back toward the border."

"Which border?"

"North, I think."

"Will he be staying there?"

Merlin shook his head. "Not sure. I don't babysit him, he's free to go where he wants, so long as he stays out of Camelot. When I spared his life I told him it was his only chance. He had to leave, and if he tried to attack us again I would kill him. The night I was stung was the first time I'd seen him since then. He was rather peeved about it actually. I think he needs our connection as much as I do. Not that he'd ever admit it of course."

The man was talking about a beast of death and destruction as casually a one would a relative rarely seen, and barely tolerated, but too necessary to cut out of one's life altogether. The normality of it all was dumbfounding.

"Even with your warning it could decide to turn on us at any time." Arthur felt the need to point out.

Merlin gave him an exasperated look. "In case I wasn't clear earlier, _he_ is under my control. He disobeys me on pain of death."

"A powerful enough sorcerer could override your control."

Again he got the sense of Merlin stopping himself right before letting a crucial piece of information slip. That was starting to get annoying. If Merlin couldn't trust him by now what did that say about them? Arthur was scared of pondering that too closely. Fortunately what was said next was sufficiently distracting.

"A sorcerer could enchant your mother's ring and use it to take control of you. Are you going to stop wearing it?"

Startled, Arthur looked down at the thick band encircling his finger. Almost no one he knew had any idea he'd claimed Ygraine's ring as his own. How Merlin had figured it out was beyond him, Arthur certainly hadn't said anything. The prince shook his head. There was validity to Merlin's statement, to the connection he wanted, but the emotional turmoil it brought on was enough to have him argue back. "You're talking about a ring, I'm talking about a dragon. How are they the same?"  
"It's all you've got, He's all I've got. How are they different?"

Now did that make sense or had his sense of reason just deserted him? Either way Arthur let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed his hands across his face.

"And I'm just supposed to trust that he won't attack Camelot?"

"You can trust that I won't let him attack Camelot."

Could he? Arthur knew he wanted to, and he wasn't ashamed to say so but...

"But you think I'm an idiot," was Merlin's interpretation of the dragged out silence.

Arthur laughed hollowly. "I think you do a very good impersonation of an idiot." Meeting Merlin's eye he added, "I also think if you want my trust, not making me have to drag every kernel of truth out of you would be a good place to start."

If he thought Merlin's shifty looks were bad, the calculating one he got just now was even worse. "I tell the truth quite a lot you know. You've been the one to convince yourself they're lies. And the rest of the time..."

"Yes?" _Find a way to pin it all on me Merlin, I dare you._

Merlin swallowed hard. "The rest of the time I haven't been brave enough to trust you. I'm trying to change that. When you live in the belly of the beast you have to be careful not to do anything to encourage digestion."

Despite the seriousness of the moment Arthur chuckled. "I'm sure that sentence makes sense in your head but could you repeat it with just a little more clarity?"

"What I'm trying to say," Merlin sighed, "is that's it's hard to trust you and look out for you at the same time. There are some things it's safer you don't know about."

"Safer for who?"

"You, me, your father in some cases. Anyone really, it varies depending on the situation."

"And not telling me you're the son of a dragonlord - that you are a dragonlord - who's that safest for?

"My mother, Gaius...mostly me though. We both know what would happen if your father found out. And I didn't want you to have to keep a secret from him."

Another, much more painful, laugh escaped Arthur. "I think we're past that now Merlin. But there are plenty of ways he could find out even if I wasn't the one to tell him. That dragon is massive, sooner or later rumor of his existence will reach us. And my father's not beyond crossing borders to hunt someone down."

"I know."

The depth of hurt and suppressed anger in those two words nearly had Arthur trying to be comforting again. It dawned on him that Merlin had very legitimate reasons to dislike Arthur's father. And he'd had the means, motive, and opportunity handed to him to bring about the ruin of Uther's kingdom. But instead of encouraging the attack, he'd put a stop to it. Forced a stop to it, if his words about being able to override the dragon's will were to be believed.

Looked at in that light, the fact Merlin had told him the truth at all was astounding. Sure Arthur had pushed him, but he could have lied or refused to talk, never mind the consequences. Suddenly expressing gratitude sounded like a very good idea.

Grasping both his servant's shoulders Arthur shut his eyes briefly. "Look, I'll probably never understand just what it cost you to put Camelot above your... inheritance." He shuddered at the memories of the dragon's flames engulfing people and homes. "But I can't begin to say how much it means to me that you did."

He could feel Merlin's tension easing under his hands, and the look of admiration he received made the prince distinctly uncomfortable. "I told you Camelot was my home Arthur. Innocents have suffered enough here. I wasn't about to let that continue when it was in my power to do something about it."

Arthur really needed to learn how to use words like Merlin could. The double meaning to that comment was painfully obvious to him, but to anyone else it would be considered nothing more than a young man's pledge of devotion to his kingdom. That kind of phrasing might be critical if they were to pursue this dangerous notion of keeping magic users safe in a world that was literally out for their blood.

That was a thought for another day though. Glancing down at the bags next to them Arthur set them on the bench in front of his bed.

"Does this mean you don't want to go out?" Merlin asked.

"I said I wanted to meet a benevolent magical creature Merlin. I don't believe the dragon qualifies."

"You're probably right."

"What was that?" Arthur asked, fighting to keep a smile off his face. A tiny one appeared on Merlin's in return.

"You heard me. Though maybe you should still…" he trailed off at Arthur's glare.

"If I ever do, it will be when I decide to and not before. I don't want to hear another word about it, understand?"

Merlin swallowed hard and lowered his gaze submissively. "Yes Sire."

By unspoken agreement they spent the next half hour or so in silence, each lost in contemplation of their own worries. At last Merlin had finished his version of 'tidying up' and had set Arthur sleep clothes on top of his dressing screen.

"Do you need anything else my lord?" Arthur curled a lip at the formal address - Merlin rarely used his titles except to mock him, but his voice sounded far too worn out for that to be what he was trying to do now. If Arthur weren't emotionally spent himself he might have called him on it. As it was he merely shook his head and waved his hand indicting dismissal. Before Merlin could reach the door however one last question escaped Arthur.

"Is it easier now?"

His servant paused and looked back. "Is what easier?'

"Knowing who your father was. Not having him die obviously, but meeting him? Is it better to know the truth, however much it hurts?"

It seemed he could add double meanings to questions after all. At least in a way Merlin could understand given the way the man's blue eyes softened with both sadness and compassion. "Some days yes, some days no."

It was no better or worse an answer than what he expected but still Arthur gained no satisfaction from it. He nodded in acknowledgement anyway.

"Arthur-"

The prince cut him off, deliberately turning away from his servant. "Goodnight Merlin."

The other man was quiet for a count of three then acknowledged the subject was closed, for tonight at least. "Sleep well, Arthur."

The door closed behind him and the exhausted prince collapsed into a chair by the fire. One question had been answered tonight, and he now had a dozen new ones to ask. At this rate he'd figure out the world around him oh... two years after he was dead.

One thing was glad for though - Merlin was underfoot again. The other man might not have been spilling all his secrets, and quite frankly there were some things Arthur wasn't sure he wanted details about (those claims about saving his life probably wouldn't do the prince's ego any favors), but it was clear Merlin was at his side because he chose to be there. And he still willing to obey when it counted. A fact the prince was deeply grateful for.

Camelot owed his servant a debt. Even if his father would never acknowledge it, Arthur could. With a dragon as a... servant?... ally?, whatever it was, Merlin would have no trouble bringing punishment on any kingdom, and especially one that had taken his father from him. Arthur didn't know the details, but he had no doubt Uther played a role in leaving his only friend fatherless. That was something that could ever be gotten back - Arthur knew that better than anyone. One apology wasn't nearly enough to make up for that. He could only pray it never pushed Merlin to become his enemy.

They may not have been acknowledged friends, and he may not be happy to have another person to shield, but Arthur knew without a doubt he'd keep a hundred secrets if it meant that would never happen.


	6. Chapter 6

***sees number of followers* *blinks* *rubs eyes* *looks again* I** _ **never**_ **imagined this, thanks so much, you have no idea how happy I am! Hopefully I don't disappoint you all! :D**

 **I hope you like this chapter, I struggled with parts of it. Morgana continues to be interesting to write but Gwen is tough. Her character was kinda all over the place during the course of the show so it was a little hard to pin her down to one set of actions. I do want her to be a real support for Morgana though (poor girl needs it) so hopefully the potential for that comes across.**

 **Summery: Same day as Chapter 5. Morgana and Gwen make a series of interesting discoveries of their own.**

After being trapped for so long within the castle walls the outside air, even awash with the scents of raw food, animals, and, if she got too close, under washed bodies, was the sweetest thing Morgana had smelled in a long time.

The clouds gathering on the horizon spoke of storms that would arrive before the morning was out but for now the sun shone pleasantly warm, and the hubbub of the market was not yet too noisy for her still aching head.

Gwen, clearly relishing an activity she'd gone a year without, made the most of the occasion. Her happy chatter filled the air as they walked, and she spared no greeting or compliments to any of the vendors. One would forget she didn't see these people every day of her life for how enthusiastic she was in speaking to them.

That's not to say she was neglectful of her charge. Many a time she tried to spark Morgana's participation in whatever conversation she was having and part of Morgana truly wanted to join in. A round of old gossip and inside jokes would make for a good break in her cycle of dark thoughts if nothing else, she just couldn't spare the energy. Her remarks wouldn't be sincere and the other woman would pick up on that in an instant.

Her mood was further dampened the further they walked. There was no concealing the signs of destruction she witnessed - burnt out homes, wreckage of what has once been wagons and other tools, dozens of flowers and other trinkets resting up against partially collapsed walls as a kind of improvised memorial. Her chest tightened at the sight of it all.

Logically some of the older damage at the edge of town could be attributed to the dragon attack the previous year, places where families had abandoned their old residences and moved further inside the walls. But the vast majority of it was far too new.

The people here, workers milling about with a weariness obvious despite their determination, by all rights should hate her for, if not being the cause of their suffering, at least for doing nothing to prevent it.

But their reaction to seeing her was quite the opposite. Eyes lit up as she passed, people smiled and nudged one another. Men lifted their tattered cloth caps in her direction, and more than one middle aged woman came up to them to express her sympathy over Morgana's injury, and her joy at seeing the king's ward out and about again.

They also tripped over themselves to thank her for role in the battle. Gwen had told her as she first recovered that the king had given both her and Arthur credit in his brief address to the people, although he hadn't said anything specific. Rumors had taken off though, and more than half the population was now convinced that it was only through her aid that the prince had been able to defeat the skeleton army.

If they only knew.

It was the headache's fault she couldn't keep herself together, she'd swear to that to her dying day. Never mind what Arthur said, she'd never been brought to tears easily - not even fake ones. Today though they came without warning.

Gwen, bless her, noticed the first drops almost before they'd fallen and, whether she guessed the real reason for them or not, hurriedly looked around for a place to sequester her from the public eye. A kind faced woman with brown eyes and rosy cheeks who'd been observing them from her front steps came forward and took charge of the situation, ushering them inside her home.

"Begging my lady's pardon, but you shouldn't be out in the sun at a time like this. You can rest here for a bit."

"Thank you," Gwen answered when Morgana could only squint at the woman.

Correctly interpreting the look on the young woman's face, their hostess disappeared for a few moments before returning with a bucket of water. Indicating to Gwen that she should help Morgana sit, she pulled a cloth from inside the bucket and wrung it out before passing it over.

"You just rest that on your head now, that right. You'll feel better in no time."

The woman spoke to Gwen in low tones, her maid no doubt explaining what she'd been suffering, while Morgana did as instructed. The cold water did wonders to soothe and revive her, and within minutes she was beginning to feel herself again. She opened her mouth to offer thanks when two small children came squealing into the room, chasing after a ball.

"Leo, Sunny, hush!"

The children, a boy and a girl no older than five or six, quieted immediately and looked at the two strangers with alert expressions.

"Go play in the backroom," the woman ordered.

"But we're hungry," the boy spoke up.

"You can have something later, we have a guest. Go."

"Oh no," Morgana held out her hand, getting shakily to her feet. "Please, I've no need for your attention, you should feed your children."

"Well…" the woman hesitated.

"Here I'll help," Gwen offered. "We'll get them fed twice as fast."

"I don't exactly have much to give them," the woman sighed. "What with the cold lingering on, and the gardens being trampled by those awful soldiers. I usually can apportion out enough vegetables for dinner, but this time of day it'd just a bit of bread and fruit. Maybe some milk if any of the goats are in a giving mood."

"Why don't you-," Morgana started, then interrupted herself. "I'm terribly sorry, I haven't even asked your name."

"I'm Lynn," the woman answered, "and you don't have to apologize my lady." Turning to her other guest she added, "Would you be Guinevere?"

Gwen startled a little, "Yes I am. You know me?"

Lynn smiled. "Ah, I wouldn't expect you to remember. Some years ago your father was kind enough to make me some new locks for my gate. One of the nannies discovered she was strong enough to kick it open despite the old one being fastened. I brought him a half gallon fresh milk as a thank you and you were at the forge, fancying yourself a model for a helmet he'd just finished repairing."

The young woman blushed at the reminder of her childhood antics and Morgana hid a smile. "Why don't you go and see about the milk and I'll get some wood for your fire." She suggested to cover her embarrassment.

The woman glanced between the children and Morgana, a faint restraint in her manner. "You be quiet and don't bother her," she finally told them before moving to the back door. "I won't be long." The words sounded more like a reassurance than a statement of fact.

Gwen followed her outside and Morgana watched with a slightly puzzled air as the children returned to playing, albeit with only half their minds on their game. They seemed nervous, although that could easily just be from being left alone with a woman they didn't know. Her head now only a slight bother she decided to try to engage them in some way.

"Hello."

At the sound of her voice they dropped all pretense of trying to amuse themselves and turned toward her. Trying not to melt at their half shy, half curious, completely adorable little faces she smiled softly.

"What's your name?" the girl asked.

"Morgana," she answered, "you're Sunny?" The child nodded and she looked at the boy in turn. "Leo is it?"

"Leofric actually my lady, but most people call me Leo yes." He pointed to his sister, "Her full name is Sunngifu. You don't live here."

Morgana blinked at the abrupt statement. "I don't live in your house?"

"You don't live in this town," Leo clarified.

"Why do you say that?"

Sunny answered her. "Nobody wears dresses like that here."

Glancing down, Morgana took in the rich green silk of her gown with its sheer sleeves and gold embroidery. Compared to the homespun fabric the children were wearing the contrast was startling.

"I imagine not. I live up at the castle." Was it her imagination or did the children grow paler at hearing that?

"With the king?" Leofric asked.

"Well... yes, he lives there too." Yes the boy's complexion was decidedly ashen, and if she wasn't mistaken that friendly arm he had around Sunny's shoulders tightened protectively. To change the subject she asked, "So do you help your mother take care of the goats?"

"She's not our mother."

"Hush Sunny. Yes ma'am we both can milk a goat."

"Only the old one, she's the one that not kicks us."

"Which do you like better, boy goats or girl goats?"

"We don't have a boy goat," she was informed.

"Boy goats stink!" was Sunny's opinion. She pinched her nose to emphasize the point. "Ms Lynn says you can't keep boy goats with girl goats 'cause boy goats makes the milk taste like stink."

"I see," was all Morgana could say in response to this impromptu lesson on goat biology.

Obviously deciding she'd contributed enough to the conversation, Sunny dropped down to her hands and knees to fetch the ball from where it had rolled under the table. As she stood and shook her hand free from where it was caught in her oversized sleeve, the sleeve fell back to her elbow and Morgana caught sight of a very distinctive spiral mark of the child's arm.

Understanding from her reaction that there was no misunderstanding on this stranger's part of just what that symbol was, Sunny's lips began to tremble and Leo immediately pressed her to his side looking desperately between her and the door behind him.

"Please don't tell about us," he pleaded in a voice barely above a whisper. "We never hurt people, and Ms Lynn didn't neither. Father and Mother are dead, she just gave us a home. We just want to-"

"Shhh, shhh, it's alright," Morgana soothed just as quietly. She moved to sit on her knees in front of them, and took his free hand in hers. Sunny whimpered and pushed closer to her brother, shoving a thumb in her mouth. "It's okay, I promise. I won't tell, please don't be afraid. Please don't think I'll let people hurt you."

"The king would. You live with the king."

" _Why wouldn't you be like him?"_ was the unspoken accusation and if she wasn't in front of terrified little ones Morgana would have launched into a vehement denial of being anything like that man.

Instead she took a deep, calming breath and, stealing a glance at the half-open door, lowered her voice voice even further. "I'll tell you a secret. I have a sister too, and she can use magic."

Leo sucked in a breath and Sunny poked her head up from where it'd been buried in his chest. "Does she live here?" they asked.

"No, she doesn't. I wish she could." _Do you really?_ A corner of her mind asked. She pushed the thought away. "So you see? I would never let someone die for no reason other than how they were born. It would be like killing someone I love. Can you believe me?"

Brother and sister looked at each other for a long moment, communicating in a way that was lost to Morgana. Eventually they nodded to each other then to her.

"Good," she smiled warmly at them. "I promise you, someday it won't be like this. Someday... someday we'll all be safe."

* * *

She and Gwen returned to the castle immediately following the snack Lynn had insisted the two of them share. She'd also insisted Morgana go straight to bed as soon as they got back, a suggestion her maid had seconded wholeheartedly.

Despite not feeling tired she'd taken the advice and had fallen into a blissfully undisturbed sleep, only to be awoken after less than two hours by the sounds of construction. Climbing out of bed, she moved to her window and was greeted by the unpleasant sight of a gallows being built in the courtyard.

"That didn't take long."

"My lady?" a voice called questioningly.

Jumping slightly at the unexpected presence, Morgana clarified, "The execution. Tell me, what poor soul is falling victim to Uther's vendetta this time?"

Gwen came to the window her brow wrinkled in thought. "I don't- Oh! Of course, I'm so sorry. You wouldn't have heard."

Morgana turned to her expectantly. "Heard what?" she asked bracing herself for the worst.

"Did you ever meet a man named Harris?"

The name sounded vaguely familiar but she couldn't place it.

"You would have seen him or his daughters making deliveries maybe," Gwen explained. "The family didn't have a title but Harris was the owner of Camelot's fourth largest barley and rye fields."

"Was?"

"He was found dead after Cenred's army attacked."

Morgana blinked at the bare bones statement. There was an edge to the way it was spoken that she'd previously not associated with her maid. "I'm guessing there's a connection?" She asked, gesturing to the scene below them.

Gwen nodded. "When his body was discovered there were several others around him, so at first no one thought there was anything unusual. But according his eldest daughter Briony, the two of them were with friends when the attack started, on the other side of town. They'd lost sight of each other in the panic, but last she'd seen he was headed in the opposite direction of where he was found.

"Briony's a friend of mine. She came to me with her worries and between the two of us we got Gaius to look at her father's wounds. Long story short, he died from a stabbing but not the sort a soldier would inflict, no matter how sloppy. And seeing as her cousin Stanley had been trying both directly and underhandedly, to get ahold of his uncle's lands for months now, and he had marched in to take charge before Harris was even buried, Gaius felt she had good reason to be suspicious.

"As soon as the king was well enough to hear petitions again, she pleaded for an investigation into her father's death. Uther wasn't going to bother about it, but Arthur pushed for her request to be granted. Two days ago they found the knife used to stab him buried in an alley not far from where she and her father parted. Several people recognized it as belonging to her cousin. That was the last bit of evidence needed for sentence to be passed. He's going to be executed at noon tomorrow."

This was stated with no small hint of satisfaction. Morgana would have shared it if she'd been able to speak just then. As it was she could only blink, and her continued silence drew Gwen's attention.

"Are you alright? Morgana, what's wrong?"

She shook off her astonishment with an effort. "Nothing's wrong. I'd just forgotten what it felt like to hear of actual justice being performed. It feels like it's been forever. Those who deserve punishment go free, and innocents...well you don't need me to say anything about that. Sometimes I doubt there will ever be a day when good doesn't suffer evil's whims. Your friend should count herself lucky Arthur listened to her."

"He's," Gwen hesitated, "I think he's improved some in that respect. It still takes more work than it should - those are Merlin's words, not mine - but he's more willing to stand up for people like us."

"Us?"

"I mean those like me and Briony. Ordinary people. The kind that... others would say aren't worth defending. He's gotten tougher on the knights and the guards. They don't harass the servants and townspeople so much anymore. I believe...well when the time comes, I think he'll be a good king."

Would he? Overall that would make things simpler. Morgana wondered what it would take to convince the others to make that time come just a little sooner.

"Gwen?" She began, affecting hesitation. Her maid looked up. "What would you do if you knew someone was guilty of a crime - if they killed people for instance - but they were in a position where the law wouldn't judge them, even if those responsible for upholding it knew the truth? Do you think a person would then be justified in... well... punishing them as they deserved to be punished?

The other woman grew very quiet, a worried look on her face. Morgana feigned dismissing the thought, lest she get suspicious.

"I've upset you, I'm sorry. We shouldn't talk of such things."

"It's...it's alright, I was just remembering. Merlin asked me much of the same thing after Uther killed my father. He asked if Uther died what would I do, and would I want that to happen."

That took a minute to process.

Merlin had said he knew about her plotting with Tauren to attack Uther. That implied he knew the visit to her father's grave had been a set up. But she hadn't seen even a hint of his presence the entire journey. Had he chosen not to stop her? Or did he just guess the eventual outcome, that she wouldn't be able to go through with it? It was quite something to learn she hadn't been alone in her quest for revenge back then.

"What did you tell him?" she asked, praying her eagerness wasn't obvious.

"I said if I tried to murder the king for what he'd done it would make me no better than him." Gwen answered, quietly but firmly.

Morgana chewed on that as she carried on talking. Something about real justice not being solely about punishing the wrong. Because whether they died or not it didn't bring their victims back. But wasn't it it's own kind of satisfaction anyway?

"Those responsible for suffering will be punished sooner or later," Gwen summed up. "I'd rather focus on helping those who've been hurt. Hastening their tormentor's death doesn't do anything but stain your own soul. And who knows how many other people will be hurt in the process?"

Morgana sighed to herself. It kept coming back to that didn't it? Was eliminating one person, or even a few people, worth it when you couldn't guarantee they would be the only ones affected?

* * *

The rain had come as expected but it moved on before long, leaving the evening crisp but pleasant.

Sitting at the private dining table in her former place at the king's left, Morgana wished the storms had stayed. They would have been a more appropriate accompaniment to both her mood and the room's atmosphere.

Arthur had stopped by earlier that afternoon to tell her Uther had summoned both of them to dine with him that evening. He'd looked about as happy to give the news as she had been to get it, repeating the message with the attitude of a man getting an unpleasant task out of the way as quickly as possible.

When she'd expressed her unwillingness to cooperate, he'd sighed and given her a pleading look. "You can't avoid him forever, he'll only get suspicious. Make a show of being back to your old routine, and the thrill of seeing you alive and well again will wear off soon enough."

He'd sounded vaguely bitter saying that, and she was reminded that Uther tended to set aside his kingly facade around Arthur only when the prince lay on the brink of death. Once he'd recovered, the role of father was forgotten and expectations of having a perfect, obedient heir rather than a son returned tenfold.

"And please," Arthur continued, "the last thing any of us need is an altercation. Try not to provoke him."

"I know how he expects me to behave." She answered sourly.

"I hope so," was all the answer she got back.

She watched him now distractedly working his way through the meal, eating mechanically and only making token efforts to carry on conversation with his father. He kept giving Merlin sidelong looks whenever his servant got close to tend to him, looks Merlin ignored them more often than not. Morgana couldn't help but wonder what secrets the two of them were arguing over tonight.

"Well you're all a cheery bunch this evening." Uther commented, interrupting her musings. "I've seen less solemnity at state funerals."

" _Probably because half those in attendance are secretly elated the poor departed soul is out of their lives."_ Morgana kept the thought to herself. Before her time away she probably would have tossed it out without hesitation. If Uther were in the mood he was now, he would laugh, compliment her on wit, and go on to relate some story about such an occasion where he'd shared just such a feeling.

Now, as she watched him hold out his goblet for what was by her count his fourth refill, the last thing she ever wanted to prompt from him was a laugh. It could only be hoped the servants hadn't bothered to water the wine down the usual amount. She gained enough pleasure from the thought of the king greeting the morning with a pounding head and layer of fuzz on his murderous tongue, to be able to dredge up a not too fake looking smile when he turned to look at her.

"Just tired Father." Arthur said, saving her from having to hold the smile. "On top of the double training drills, there's a lot of work still to be done in the lower town."

"Ah yes, well that is of no concern to you."

Arthur frowned along with Morgana. "You assigned me to oversee the repairs personally."

"Yes, and now I have a much more important assignment for you. There have been an unusually high incidences of druid sightings in the area. Sentries have spotted smoke in the eastern woods, less than two miles from the citadel walls."

Arthur chewed his last bite slowly, the look on his face unreadable.

"I fail to see how smoke is relevant," Morgana put in. "Anyone can build a campfire. And even if it is the druids it doesn't mean that we have cause for concern."

"She's right Father. The reports state Cenred's army destroyed a great deal of the forest. They're likely just trying to find a new place to live. If any of them were making trouble we would hear of it. Any persons attempting to enter the city who are unable to prove they are here on legitimate business, are held at the gates for questioning and their possessions are searched. The guards know the consequences for lapses in vigilance."

Morgana barely hid her surprise. If what he was saying was true then how did that woman Lynn smuggle those two children into her care? Was their family already within the walls? Or did one or two of those keeping watch know better than to assume children were part of a malicious force to be snuffed out at all costs? She would have to return as soon as possible and get answers. If someone really could be smuggled in perhaps they could be gotten out the same way.

She tuned back into the conversation just in time to catch Uther make an accusation of being plotted against. It was quite an effort to refrain from rolling her eyes at his paranoia.

Arthur seemed to be having a hard time as well. "Father," he said slowly and she could hear a slight strain to his voice, "if they were doing that we wouldn't be getting so much as a glimpse of them. They wouldn't be this close to Camelot unless they were desperate."

"And desperate times times lead to desperate actions. I won't allow them to catch us with our guard down. First thing tomorrow you will lead a contingent of our most experienced knights to locate the nearest druid encampment and eliminate them."

No promise in the world would keep her from responding to that. "You want him to butcher an entire camp?! Families, children?"

"A small group needs to be brought back alive of course. Before execution they'll be interrogated as to their contacts in the city, but for the rest," Uther waved a hand, "they'll be of no use to us. And why should you care, Morgana? I haven't forgotten what you must have suffered at their hands. You should be pleased by their destruction."

Her magic, weakened by weeks of disuse, flared inside her. Fury at her guardian's madness (had the mandrake root broken his mind after all? Or was it the wine?), panic over the thought of Leofric, Sunngifu, and dozens like them being caught up in an arbitrary slaughter, desire to be free of her old feelings of helplessness, it was all threatening to boil over, and would have if it weren't for the timely intervention of Merlin knocking Arthur's goblet off the table. It was mostly empty, but the noise was enough to temporarily pull all three diners attention away from their conversation.

Uther snapped off several insults at the servant who meekly stammered an apology, although she could see in his eyes he was just as angry as she was. He set the cup back on the table, and Arthur quietly shooed him back to his corner, before simultaneously joining her in voicing objection to the king's plan.

"The druids are peaceful."

"Such an action will do nothing but alienate the people!"

Arthur met her eyes over the table, a question in his. She hesitated half a second then shook her head. She'd let him talk. It was time to see how far he'd take his promise to aid her cause, to see if he really had her back.

"To turn on our own citizens now," the prince reasoned, picking up on her train of thought, "to order the soldiers who should be providing protection and support to go bursting into homes, looking for people to arrest and execute without a shred of credible evidence as to their treason would sow more fear and distrust than our enemies have accomplished this entire year. That is something we do not need."

"My word is all the evidence you require," Uther sneered. "It's always been enough for you in the past. Why do you oppose me now?" He sounded genuinely hurt and Morgana could see Arthur's resolve crack slightly. She coughed quietly and a swift glance her direction had him gathering himself again.

"In the past the worst danger Camelot faced was those whom you deemed to be a threat. Things are different now. Within the past year alone we've had to cope with an attack, a long standing rescue operation that drew away more of our defences than logic would deem practical, not," he held up a hand, "that I would have done anything different. Our mission was worth every sacrifice." His every word breathed sincerity and she lowered her gaze away from the intense caring in his eyes.

"But Morgana wasn't home a week before her captors tried to lay waste to Camelot once again. They may have failed in their objective but there was already too much loss. And while the leaders of that attack live it's only a matter of time before they return. Those are the magic wielders we need to concern ourselves with. The ones who've made their malicious agenda clear, and who have no intention of stopping until they've eliminated everyone standing in the path of what they want.

"Going after people that despite open persecution have never been proven to have lead an attack against us is a waste of time and resources, and an insult to those who have given their lives in service to the crown. They deserve justice and our people deserve to not live in fear of their own army. Even if we happen to catch one or two who of those who _might_ mean us harm it will leave us vulnerable to those we _know_ do."

Uther looked both stunned that his precious ally, who'd up until now done anything to please him, was actually using the brain he'd been born with, and insulted that it was being used against him. The room held its collective breath while the king stared at his heir.

"I never thought I would see the day when you would protect Camelot's enemies. I must say I'm gravely disappointed."

Morgana felt herself wince on his behalf but, astonishingly, Arthur stood his ground. "I'm protecting _you_ father. Your recent indisposition has not gone unnoticed by the people, and the majority of the council have guessed at its cause. Already there have been whispers about the damage it may have done to the stability of the kingdom."

"And just what is being done about these rumors?" Uther challenged.

" _Currently,"_ Arthur stressed the word, "they've being summarily dismissed by the few who've heard them. I must warn you though that putting the elimination of anyone who has even an unconscious connection to sorcery above both the needs of a people who've only just finished burying their dead, and the defence against those we know seek to destroy us will only bring your judgement into question. It will make others wonder if you don't care about your own pride more than the people you've swore to protect. I've no wish to take your place whilst you live and breathe but I fear if you continue in this manner that is exactly the sort of thing the council will push for."

He saw the same mad glint in the king's eye that she did if his next words were any indication. "And if you retaliate by removing them, or lock me up for speaking the truth, or anything of that nature, you will only be feeding the assumption that you've lost your ability to rule in a fair and just manner. Please, for your own sake and that of our people I urge you to reconsider this course."

Uther's jaw was locked in a way that implied he wouldn't reconsider if it was his life and not just his throne on the line. Morgana's magic rose to meet it once again, though this time the urge was more protective than combative. Looking up over Arthur's shoulder, she could see Merlin thinking furiously, lower lip caught between his teeth. He was seconds away from causing another distraction, and as helpful as that might be, this time she knew Uther wouldn't settle for just shouting at him.

Any other time she wouldn't care about what punishment he brought on himself, but tonight made it clear he really was making progress in getting Arthur's head on straight. It was critical no injury or incarceration separate the two for any length of time right now. If it did there was no guarantee the prince wouldn't cave under the strain of his father's disapproval. Therefore the only thing to do was cause the distraction herself. With infinitely more grace of course.

Father and son were immediately pulled from their staredown by her leaning forward in her chair, a soft moan escaping her lips.

"Morgana!"

Her involuntarily flinch at their raised voices played into the act perfectly. Abruptly pushing her chair back, she gathered her skirts and stood. Arthur scrambled to his feet as well and reached out to steady her as she swayed slightly.

With only a cursory glance at the king, she addressed him. "My head." Explanation or excuse, he could take it as he liked.

He responded so fast one would think they'd planned this. "Do you have any of Gaius remedy left?"

"Back in my room," she answered. "I should go."

"There's no need for you to go rushing about in this state," Uther interjected. "Sit down, one of the servants can fetch this remedy for you."

Both Gwen and Merlin moved to obey but she waived them off. "Taking it here would do little good. It takes the pain away but I have no appetite afterwards, a small price to pay I promise you. But I want nothing more then to lay down. So if you'll excuse me."

Uther appeared displeased but squeezed her hand indulgently. If she didn't bother to hide her sick look at his touch, he was too distracted - and inebriated - to notice. Arthur came around the table and hugged her goodnight. "Be sure to send Gwen for something should you get hungry later," he whispered in her ear. "None of that sacrificing for your figure or whatever ridiculousness you girls do."

She had to give him credit for the tease. A liar he may not be but he did have a courtier's upbring in how to defuse a tense situation. Anger momentarily suppressed, she gave a nonsensical reply and quit the room in as dignified a manner as possible.

* * *

Five steps out into the hall she dropped her hands from her head and clinched them tightly at her sides, fury returning full force. Clamping it down, she rushed to her chambers reaching them in half the time it usually took. Senses dulled by the blood rushing in her ears she narrowly avoided slamming the door in Gwen's face.

"It'd be worth the stain on my soul to rid the world of such a monstrosity!"

"Don't say that Morgana, please."

"It's true! You can't argue that one man deserves death for killing another and excuse a man who's killed thousands!"

"Arthur stood up to him. He stood up for the druids." A rather poor attempt to deflect her attention, Morgana thought. She'd thought Gwen better than that.

"Yes that was something," she acknowledged anyway. "Although he basically just said they were the lesser of two evils."

"It's all he's ever known."

"And you Gwen? If I told you those two little children in Lynn's home were druids, what would you think? Do you believe they're an evil, lesser or greater?

Gwen looked unsettled but immediately shook her head. "No, no, of course I wouldn't! They're just children."

"And if they can use magic, what then? Are they evil now?"

"I..no.. no I don't think so. They've never harmed anyone…"

"Not one person in a hundred that Uther's executed has harmed anyone. Yet that hasn't saved their lives. If someone reported those children, if they and their guardian were thrown in the dungeons and sentenced to death, what would you do? Would you let it happen?"

"Morgana what are you-?"

"Answer me! Would you leave them to die without lifting a finger to help?"

"I..I wouldn't want to. But what could I do?" Gwen's face was awash with genuine confusion and more than a little fear. Clenching her teeth, Morgana moderated her tone with an effort.

"It's been pointed out to me recently that it's that very attitude that's the reason behind so much suffering. I've been guilty of it as well. While I've always railed against Uther's tyranny, with the exception of Mordred I haven't actively done anything to counter it. That's going to change. I need to know if you object to making a stand. Or if you'd rather those like me live in fear for the rest of our lives?

The worry in her maid's eyes morphed into shock, and it took Morgana a moment to realize what she'd said. Well she wasn't going to do anything about it now. She'd have to see if Arthur was as good at anticipating people's reactions as he claimed.

Gwen was quiet for a long time, her face cycling through fear, disbelief, recognition, to finally settle on a kind of protective wariness. "How long have you had magic?" she whispered. "Did...did Morgause teach you?"

Morgana snorted. "I didn't need to be taught, it's been part of me since I was a girl. The nightmares I was always told were meaningless are actually glimpses of the future.

The druids were the first to confirm it, everyone else was content to lie to me."

"Then, all these years...and you've been alone." Gwen's dark eyes filled with tears and she threw her arms around her mistress. "Oh god, Morgana I'm so sorry! I wish I'd known, I..."

The gesture caught Morgana off guard so she was slow in returning the hug. A vague hint of peace settled over her as she did. Something in the way the other woman clung to her, the sincerity in her words, she could feel a few of the old wounds she carried close by a fraction.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"No you don't have to apologize." Gwen pulled back. "I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help before. But I will now. In whatever way I can. Only…"

"What is it?"

"I can't be party to an assassination Morgana. If you succeeded, Arthur would be forced to kill you. And if you killed him too and proclaimed yourself queen," Gwen shook her head. "You'd never have the people's loyalty. The only ones to follow you would do so out of fear. And if you failed…I have no delusions any of would be spared. Promise me you won't let yourself go down that road, however much it's tempting."

"I can't stop hating Uther and I won't try. Things have gone too far for that."

"Feeling hate is one thing, acting on it is another. You know the difference, I know you do. Just promise me you'll think, not do anything rash. You're my best friend, I can't lose you Morgana. Not again...I couldn't-" her voice choked off and this time the tears the king's ward quickly hid had nothing to do with the sun, or her head, or any other excuse she could think of.

Could this be true? First Arthur told her he loved her despite what she'd done - not that she entirely believed him - now Gwen...could she truly find acceptance amongst those here? Once she would never have doubted Gwen's word, but events of the recent past had severely damaged her trust. Even Morgause had been letting her down lately.

Life had lead her to the ugly realization that words were just that. Only a person's actions proved whether or not they could be trusted. Morgana was willing to allow that Gwen was something of a blank slate in that respect. She had never had the full picture, never truly understood what was at stake. She might reject Morgana once she knew the truth, but she might not. She deserved a chance. But some reassurances were needed first.

"You'll assist me in helping those Uther would harm?" she repeated. A firm agreement on that point was necessary before she would be making any promises.

Her companion didn't hesitate. "My father was innocent of what he was accused of. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him. That I don't wish things would have been different." She met Morgana's gaze firmly. "I wouldn't leave others to suffer as I have. Not if there was a real chance I could spare them my pain."

"No...no of course you wouldn't. As for your concern, I've already agreed not to do anything rash - yet. If Arthur keeps up his end of the bargain perhaps I won't have to do anything at all. But we must be prepared just in case."

"Arthur knows you can...do magic?" Gwen struggled on the last words but there was no disgust in her voice. She was just still getting used to the idea, Morgana told herself. Actually if anything she looked relieved.

"He has an idea. We haven't talked about it directly. And I don't care to at this point. The more he knows, the more could accidentally let slip. Or maybe not so accidentally," she couldn't help adding.

Gwen frowned disapprovingly. "He obviously agreed not to turn you in if he hasn't already. You can't imagine he'd go back on his word."

Morgana raised an eyebrow at the repeated defending. "I couldn't imagine I'd see the day you'd ever believe him to do anything good. Fancy a place by his side when he becomes king?"

The girl shook her head quickly but her blush was all the answer Morgana really needed. Interesting. It seemed far more had changed while she'd been away then she first thought. Or had there had been something even before?

"I know it can never be-"

"Not while Uther lives." She interrupted, arching the eyebrow suggestively. Hate wasn't the only emotion strong enough to motivate, she knew that quite well. The thought of her only friend's attachment to her being superseded by another did nothing to improve Morgana's mood, but perhaps it would be useful. If her maid was truly in love (the thought curled her lip), and facing a future where the new object of her devotion was denied to her, it just might be enough to sway her opinion.

Not on this night though it appeared. Gwen, after a moment's hesitation, rejected the insinuation. "Even if it would guarantee a conceited dream come true, I still say it's not worth the price. Arthur's no fool, if his father were to die and he had any suspicion someone he loved had a hand in that death…" she shuddered. "I think he could become something even more deserving of our fear than Uther. Especially if magic was involved. The last thing you want is another purge."

Hmm, she hadn't really thought of that. Well it was only a matter of time before Uther decided to select a bride for his son, with or without Arthur's knowledge. She'd see how things stood then. "Perhaps you're right. And as Arthur said, Camelot has a lot of enemies, and Uther's current attitude doesn't appear to be doing him any favors even among those loyal to him. Who's to say how things will play out.

"In the meantime not a word about this - to anyone. I know _you_ wouldn't willingly betray my secret, but if there is one thing I have learned from Uther's paranoia it's that walls do have ears. I can't assume I can trust anyone with the knowledge of what I can do. And with his current mood even the vaguest suspicions would be enough for all our lives to be in danger. In fact, I'm beginning to regret that I told you now."

"Don't be," Gwen told her, taking her hands. "I'm not...well I won't say I'm not afraid, but you mean the world to me Morgana. I would do more than keep a secret if it meant protecting you. What you want to do to help the people. I still have no idea how it'll be possible, but I'll do everything I can to help. Just, whatever plan you come up with, promise me you'll be careful."

Morgana nodded and hugged her again. "I promise."

For a lot of reasons. Only one of which was her value of her own life.

 **Apologies to any good people out there named Stanley. I needed a villain name and well let's just say I've had two prior bosses by that name sooo...writer revenge. It's a thing right?**


	7. Chapter 7

**To those not interested in excuses/apologies/etc feel free to skip this note, I won't mind. You might want to read the end one though.**

 **To those who are: I'm really sorry this has taken so long. I knew September would be busy with work and religious commitments, plus planning my parent's anniversary dinner (Happy 40th Mom & Dad!) but I what I did not expect was to have to deal with all that on top of the worst cold/sinus/upper respiratory infection ever! Seriously, I coughed for two weeks! Then, just when I thought things were settling, I was blindsided by the loss of a friend that, although I'd only known them a few months, I completely adored. I have complete faith that his family (wife and granddaughters - also the best people you'll ever meet) will be cared for and that we will all see him again soon, but his death hit me hard and kind of killed any motivation to write for a while. As such I don't know how good this chapter is, but hopefully it's at least sort of worth the wait. I like the end part at least. Which I know is a little odd but the chapter was already long and it's seemed like a good place to jump to Arthur's POV in the next one. **

**So anyway, now that I've totally skewed the word count of this chapter, onwards:**

 **Summary: Life attempts to go on in Camelot leading to a variation of events from S3 Ep 4 though sadly the title character from that episode will not be making an appearance. I don't own any dialogue that may have slipped in from that episode.**

"Arthur you haven't slept the last two nights, you're going to collapse if you keep pushing like this. At least take a nap."

"I can't nap Merlin, I have duties. Leon's patrol will be back in less than an hour and then I'll have training. Did you sharpen my sword like I told you to?"

"And your back up sword, and your daggers, and your training mace - no wait I dulled that one, it hurts." He shrugged at the look Arthur gave him. "I couldn't sleep either."

"Well…" the prince floundered briefly, "good. Then while I'm with the knights, you can stay here and pack my gear for a hunt."

"All this going on and you want to go hunting?" Merlin very nearly whined.

Ignoring his distress Arthur slapped him on the back. "It'll be good, you'll see. Neither of us has been out in weeks, and with the melee coming if we don't go now we'll be stuck for that much longer. We need a break."

Translation: I'm going to be expected to bash twenty other knights in the head to prove everything's hunky dory in the kingdom and the only way I can face that is to vent my frustrations on helpless animals.

Merlin bit back a sigh and changed the subject.

"How did you convince Sir Leon to help you warn off the druid communities anyway? I would have thought he'd…"

"The druids saved Leon's life once," Arthur answered shortly. "He's been...sympathetic, to them ever since."

"Really? When was this?"

"Before you got here. Look you'll have to ask him, it's not a story I should know."

"Then how do you?"

Arthur shot him a look that said drop it or else and Merlin bit his tongue in frustration.

There had been more than a week of these rapid changes in behavior (mood swings really but Arthur would kill him if he called them that out loud) and they were getting ridiculous. Arthur alternated between sharp orders one minute and cautious requests the next, as if he couldn't be sure Merlin wouldn't snap at any moment. It was a strange position to be in, made even worse by the fact that he knew now that his facade had cracked - and Arthur was too stubborn not to keep poking despite his worry - it was only a matter of time before there would be good reason for both of them to be wary, if not outright afraid of each other.

No that wasn't really true, he wouldn't be afraid of Arthur. Hurt if the other man rejected him yes, if nothing else because despite Arthur's protests they were friends, but the prince wouldn't deliberately cause him harm. He wouldn't think he could risk it, and that thought hurt almost more than anything else.

Misinterpreting his expression, Arthur's own softened slightly. "Did you give Morgana my message?" he asked.

"Mmhmm, she said, and I quote, "Gwen and I are capable of handling anything that (insert several unflattering names I will not repeat here) gets it into his head to do."

"Guinevere knows now?" Well points to the prat for seeing past the insult.

"Morgana acted like she knows we're trying to make sure innocent people stop getting harmed by the kin- whoever might harm them. I don't know if," on instinct he glanced at the door, lowering his voice, "if she knows about Morgana having magic."

He had to give Arthur credit, he barely flinched at the word and, although Merlin could see a flicker of unease in his eyes, it was more likely to be concern for the safety of his love, not Morgana's actions.

Truth be told Merlin was a little worried himself. As servants both Gwen and himself were the most vulnerable if something went wrong. But at least he had a back-up way of protecting himself, one he knew for a fact she didn't.

He couldn't dwell on that right now though, not when there were more immediate concerns.

"On that subject, has your father said anything more about...his plan from the other night?"

"Not to me. And not to the council. But I don't expect that to mean he's forgotten about it. If Morgana's headache hadn't interrupted, who's to say how that conversation would have ended. Now I worry about leaving the two of them alone."

"Gwen will manage."

Arthur hummed in acknowledgement, but the way his fingers drummed relentlessly on the desk belied his attempt at calm. "Do druids run on a hierarchy?"

Merlin blinked at the change of subject. "You mean do they have a king?"

"King, prophet, doesn't matter. Just anyone the model themselves after?"

 _Oh if you only knew…_

But he couldn't exactly reveal all _that_ yet. Arthur wasn't ready for the "you're the king who unites Albion and allows magic to reign free once again" talk, and frankly Merlin wasn't sure he could explain it all even if he wanted to. Better to stick with what he did know.

"Their clans tend to be nomadic, separate from one another. I think each clan has a chief or leader of sorts, but more for organizational purposes than command for command's sake. Why do you ask?"

"I was hoping that if there was a head chief or some such person, and if their clan could be located, then maybe, someday, he or she might be willing to come meet with me. Do you think that's possible?"

Merlin thought it over. "You'd have to be careful in how you suggested the meeting. They'd be unlikely to risk coming if knights were sent to fetch them, even if it was clear you were requesting not ordering."

"What if you went then?"

 _Unuh no, bad idea!_

"No! Um...that is, I don't think they'd take me as an impartial judge. I've been your servant for a long time, they might think me too easily convinced that what you're offering is sincere and not a cover for some plot."

On the face of it, that was a perfectly plausible explanation but Arthur didn't appear to be buying it. He didn't push though, instead commenting, "You think the only way they'd believe me is if I went to them myself."

"I think it would be a good show of faith on both your parts."

"Yeah. Unfortunately faith is all it will be for as long as my father reigns. I wonder if I should even try until then. There's nothing a can offer them besides promises. Ones I can't imagine they would believe worth anything."

"Depends on what those promises are. They want peace more than anything Arthur. Promise them that's you want. Promise them hope, and that you'll do your best to make things right even if you don't yet know how, and they'll listen." He flicked his eyes up to meet Arthur's, watching him intently. "They'll wait. However long it takes."

* * *

"If he's open to discussing matters with the druids then you should be pleased. It won't do for him to become king without any idea of what kind of king he's meant to be."

"And therein lies the problem. What I do if one of the druids mentions the prophecy? Or god forbid, mentions my role in it. 'I'm sorry Prince Arthur but you're not going to find our leader living with any clan. You want an alliance, talk to the man who's been keeping you fed, clothed and bathed the last three years.'" Merlin wrinkled his nose at how domestic that sounded. Was he Arthur's servant or his mother?

Gaius, calm as always when faced with his ward's sarcasm merely said. "He's going to have to learn of your magic sooner or later."

"My magic by itself isn't the concern anymore. I don't want him to learn of it and then be told I've been using it for him all along because of what I think it'll get me in the future. He's had enough people using him to get what they want. Enough people holding him to their expectations of what he should be."

"Merlin if it is who he's destined to be…"

"Gaius, when Kilgharrah told me of this destiny we share I hated even the thought of it. I didn't want to be stuck working with an egotistical, overbearing, magic hating prince with the idea that if I saved his life enough times _maybe_ he'd change. It scared me. It still scares me, but it's worth it now. He's worth it now. I care for him, and I respect him, and I want him to be the Once and Future King, but I want _him_ to be the one to choose it as I have. Because it's right and because it's the kind of king _he_ wants to be. If he thinks he's being forced or manipulated, that won't happen. But I-"

"What is it?"

Merlin rubbed a hand over his face. "My patience is slipping too much. I'm trying so hard not to just spill it out the whole truth from beginning to end every time he asks a question. I know he can't take it all at once, but I want to tell him so badly. And he doesn't help what with constantly watching me out of the corner of his eye, or now he's started casually throwing out suggestions or theories, and then staring me down until I tell him what I think of them. I don't want to give him too specific of an answer, because I'm trying not to be ecstatic that he's even _talking_ about this, and I don't want to influence him too much, but he has to go and look so...disappointed when I don't. But then on other things when I do give him advice, or venture an opinion, he ignores me. How am I supposed to guide someone who begs for the truth and then dismisses it?"

Gaius put a comforting arm around his shoulders. "I'm afraid I don't have an answer my boy. Except that no problem was ever solved by overthinking it. Try to put it aside for today and enjoy your time out."

"I will never enjoy hunting."

"Perhaps not. But Arthur's right in saying you've been cooped up inside for to long. A walk in the woods might be just the thing to clear your head."

* * *

Nice thought Gaius, but with the brisk pace Arthur was setting the only part of Merlin's body getting cleared was his lungs.

At least given that they could only be gone a few hours Arthur didn't feel the need to bring along a whole arsenal, or even camping gear, so Merlin had a comparatively light load to carry. Just a crossbow, hunting knife which he'd tucked in his belt, and a coil of rope to secure whatever kills they made.

"So. You have a strategy for the melee?" he asked after a while. Mostly to keep his mind off Arthur's ever mounting trail of carnage. It was getting disturbing and he really needed a gauge of the prince's mindset.

"Same one I always have." _Short answer. Not helpful._

"Think it'll work?"

"Have you ever seen it not?" _Arrogance in full swing. So the hunt's lifted his ego if not his spirits._

"Anyone in particular giving you cause for concern?"

"Yes."

"Who?" _Maybe this will…_

"The person who doesn't seem to realize I'm holding a loaded weapon, and that if he doesn't stop his incessant prattling he's going to get a demonstration of just how effective my strategy can be." Arthur smiled over his shoulder at him. "You want to take a guess as to who that might be?"

 _..nope never mind._ Merlin sighed. "You really need a better way to release your aggression."

"Melee isn't for five more days, I'm afraid you're all I've got until then."

"Ah so you admit it's not a test of strength and courage after all. Just an excuse to bash other people to pieces with blunt weapons and call it honorable combat."

Arthur stopped walking so suddenly Merlin nearly barreled into the back of him. "Look, I might be disagreeing with my father about more and more things, but in this I firmly believe him to be right. The knights need a break, and the camaraderie that comes with competing. And Camelot needs to do something to show the other kingdoms our strength hasn't been compromised. That they don't have to withhold the trade resources we need in the fear of turning the rage of our enemies upon themselves."

"Even if what you're showing them is just that - a show?"

"If it's all we've got, yes. If putting up a front is the only protection we can give the people then at the very least we can make it distracting enough that they don't notice it's all an illusion."

The words struck home in a way Arthur may not have intended them to. Regardless Merlin had to turn away before the tears beginning to prickle behind his eyes made their way to the surface. Arthur would either treat them with ridicule or compassion, neither one of which was needed right now.

 _Woods. Focus on the woods._

Looking back it would seem obvious, but if he hadn't needed a distraction so badly who knows how long it would have taken to spot the knight lying in a heap at the base of a tree not forty feet from them.

Smacking the prince's arm to get his attention Merlin was off and running before Arthur could so much as yell. Stumbling a little in his haste, he reached the man's side in the blink of an eye and carefully lifted his limp arm.

After several seconds he let out a relieved breath. "He's alive," he said just as Arthur approached from the other side.

"Good. And you very easily might not have been." The prince swept their surroundings with a trained eye. "Next time look around before you just run off like that."

Had he been paying attention Merlin might have noticed the concern just under the surface of Arthur's words. As it was he ignored the scolding and directed the prince in how to grip the injured man. "Here, help me turn him over. Mind his head."

Between the two of them they got the knight settled carefully on his back. He made a choked noise and Merlin reached to open his collar. Just as he began loosening the laces, the man jerked upright, flinging out an arm which caught him square in the chest and knocked him on his rear.

"Whoa easy there!" Arthur, who's faster reflexes Merlin most definitely did not envy, caught the flailing limb sent his direction and locked it against the struggling stranger's side, pinning him down. "We're trying to help you."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Prince Arthur of Camelot. This is Merlin, my manservant."

The stranger settled a little at his words and Merlin retook his place at his side. "Can you tell us your name? What you we're doing on the road?" He asked. There was blood on the man's forehead and one pupil was larger than the other, which Gaius often noted as a sign of head injury. A person's motor function and memories were easily affected by such a wound.

The knight appeared irritated at being questioned by a servant and answered in a haughty voice. "I'm Sir Oswald. I accepted Camelot's invitation to the upcoming tournament along with my companion Sir Ethan." He looked around for the first time. "Where is he? We got separated."

"We've seen no one else." Arthur answered. "There have been no reports of conflict in this area, what happened?"

"We stopped for a rest, us two knights and Sir Ethan's servant, maybe half a day's journey from the city. Men came out of nowhere. We'd had no indication we were being followed and they made no demands before attacking. I'd defeated three, maybe four of them when I realized they'd been leading me away from our camp. I tried to get back but before I reached the others I got caught from behind. How I ended up here…" Sir Oswald patted at his belt before frowning painfully over his shoulder. "They took my money and didn't take my sword?"

Merlin followed his gaze and saw his confusion was warranted. The knight's blade lay uncovered a short distance away. Arthur saw as well and moved to retrieve it. "Don't question, just be grateful," he said as he handed the sword back to the knight who sheathed it carefully. "It's well made."

"Thank you, it was my father's finest, rarely ever used. Pity no one will get to feel it's full impact."

"I thought the idea was to avoid injury?" Merlin couldn't help but mutter. Arthur rolled his eyes but ignored him. Sir Oswald on the other hand looked at him coldly.

"Like you could ever hope to understand. What do you know of a knight's honor boy?"

"Quite a bit actually," Merlin replied not heeding Arthur's warning look to drop it. "What I know even more about though, is that if we don't get you to my uncle soon you're bound to collapse again."

"What's your uncle got to do with this?"

"Oh nothing much, he's just the court physician."

The knight blinked at him. "Oh... er, right."

Merlin hid a humorless laugh while he gathered their supplies and Arthur helped the knight to his feet. Gaius title was meaningless, a fact any thinking nobleman would know. And even if it wasn't, without a formal declaration of succession, his niece's son would receive no benefit from his rank. Clearly this knight had more in the brawn than brain department.

This was going to be a long tournament.

* * *

"You were extremely lucky," was Gaius conclusion of his examination. "I don't see any signs of damage to your skull or the joints of your neck. But even still I don't think you should compete."

"Don't be ridiculous! Um, I mean thank you physician but I must. It's what I came here to do and I owe it to Sir Ethan."

Gaius reply was cut off by Arthur entering the room.

"Sir Oswald. How are you feeling?"

"Fighting fit Your Highness."

Gaius coughed and the prince glanced his direction.

"Is that your opinion as well Gaius?"

"Forgive an old man his caution my lord, but I've seen far too many cases of head injuries in which the victim feels perfectly fine one minute and is in critical condition the next. If Sir Oswald is to compete he must take extra caution to avoid any jarring movements of his head or neck and absolutely no impacts to those areas."

"Duly noted. Sir Oswald you can join us for morning exercises but you're on strict watch and I want you to check in with Gaius between each round up until it's time for the melee to begin."

"Your Highness, I assure you there is no cause for the physician's worry."

"Then you need have no fear in giving your best in competing. I'll expect a challenge in the ring."

The knight's eyes darkened almost imperceptibly. "You'll get one I promise you."

"One other thing, Camelot's resources are unfortunately limited but I've assigned a patrol to see what information can be gathered about your attackers, and to try to discover what may have happened to Sir Ethan."

A look of irritation flashed across Sir Oswald's face so quickly Merlin barely caught it. He answered respectfully however. "I'm grateful sire. Now if I'm through being poked and prodded, I would like to retire to my room and prepare for the competition."

Arthur laughed. "That's the spirit. Merlin, see to it a place is found for Sir Oswald. Whatever necessities he requires are to be provided without question."

"Yes sire. If you'll follow me please."

* * *

Sir Oswald must have frequented Camelot in the past. Or else the man just didn't understand the meaning of the word "follow". Merlin spent the trip to the knights quarters trying not to ram into any of the numerous squires and servants that had begun pouring into the citadel, all the while trying to keep an eye on his charge who seemed to take every accidental jostling as a personal offense.

Halfway there he spotted Morgana fighting her way through the hustle and bustle in the opposite direction. She met his eyes then immediately looked away. No surprise there. He was prepared for her to pass by without comment, as she had every other time they encountered each other. Her steps slowed to a halt however, gaze fixed on his companion. Sir Oswald didn't notice her, (which was odd, who didn't notice Morgana?), but Merlin decided it was probably a good thing given the flash of cold fear that built in her eyes the longer she watched him.

Merlin would have given anything to stop and ask what was frightening her but at that moment Sir Oswald broke through the bulk of the crowd and he had rush to catch up with him.

Two grueling hours later he finally managed to escape the man's clutches. Honestly Arthur could go an entire week without equaling half of Sir Oswald's complaints. Nothing was right about his room, from the temperature to furniture arrangements. The first Merlin could do nothing about (safely), and his muscles were crying out for a hot bath due to his attempts to fix the other intolerabilities. "Necessity" was another word the knight needed to learn the definition of.

Grumbling, he trudged to the door of Arthur's chamber only to experience an intense moment of deja vu when a hand reached out to grab his wrist and drag him back into one of the many alcoves along the castle's inner hallways.

"Who is that man?" Morgana hissed at him.

Unexpectedly pressed into a confined space with the king's ward, who went out of her way to avoid him at every opportunity, it took him a few seconds to find his voice. "His name is Sir Oswald, and he making Arthur out to be a saint by comparison. We found him when we were out hunting. He and another knight were on their way here for the melee and got attacked by bandits."

He repeated the details to her as best he could remember.

"You don't sound as though you believe him." Morgana observed. She sounded almost eager for that to be true. He answered cautiously.

"His head wound is consistent with an attack from behind-"

"Spare me the medical evaluation. Do you believe he's who he says he is?"

"Do you.. I can't...something doesn't feel right about his story but I have no way of saying if it's him that's the issue. And as for who he really is…" He shrugged helplessly. "Arthur recognized his name, says he's competed here before, but I've never met him."

"Oswald, Oswald," Morgana's brows pinched in thought. "I've met him, I'm sure of it. He was always thoughtful and kind, really stood out from the others. But this man...

"You think he's an impostor." Impostor? Of all things why was that his assumption? She seemed to have hit on the same thought though.

"I think...yes. He looks the same as before but...it feels like an illusion," she looked away. "It's just a feeling I've had since the other knights started arriving. I can't even explain why I'm thinking it."

"I doesn't matter how you got your suspicions." And really it didn't. If Morgana was willing to mention a danger - and to him of all people - Merlin wasn't about to ignore it or pick apart her reasons for doing so. "Do you believe Camelot is in danger?"

She stared at him hard, as if trying to detect a falseness in his words. Finally accepting he was sincere in his belief of her she nodded. "Camelot in general or just Arthur I don't know, but whatever his reason, whatever he's planning, it's cunning. I think… whatever power he's using, he came here prepared. He's not going to be easy to defeat."

Nothing new there then. "Still thank you. At least with your warning we have eyes on the problem ahead of time. We have a better chance of stopping him before he puts whatever plan he has into being."

"You'll warn Arthur then?"

"Unless you want to yourself."

A shadow passed over her face - the memory of years worth of warnings being met with patronizing and ridicule if Merlin could guess.

"No," she finally answered. "No, there's a better chance he'll listen to you. And if he doesn't, and the attack comes, you have a better chance of being on the spot and doing something to stop it."

He gave her a surprised look.

"Oh don't be like that. I know the only reason Arthur survives half the time is because you're around to bail him out. He doesn't really deserve it you know. Not with how he treats you."

"Well...let's just say I have that on my list of things I hope will change one day."

* * *

"I don't care! Nothing he's done the last three days has been anything outside the norm for a man in his situation. Even Gaius had to admit he's had a remarkable recovery."

"Did you hear about the strange crystal he's wearing?"

"Yes and Sir Oswald said it's a family heirloom. Strange yes, but he's not the first superstitious knight I've met. You don't have any personal knowledge of him as basis for your claims. At this point it's just your word against a knight's, and that won't hold Merlin."

"Would Morgana's?" Merlin snapped back. That 'one day' was clearly a lot further off than he'd thought. This latest argument had been going round and round for what felt like hours. The more reasons he gave to support his accusation, the more the prince dug in his heels.

Arthur drew up sharply at his words, casting a glance at Sir Leon who'd been standing just inside the door, very carefully not interrupting the two of them.

"What does Morgana have to say?"

"Apparently you're not the only one who's made prior acquaintance with Sir Oswald. She spent an hour with him yesterday regaling all their prior interactions, and he expressed delight at every memory she brought up."

"What's wrong about that?"

"Two thirds of the things she 'remembered' were complete nonsense. They never happened, and they never would happen. And don't say he was just too polite to correct her, it would've been far better for her dignity if he had."

"If I may sire?" Sir Leon interjected. "I can confirm what Merlin's saying about this. The Lady Morgana's reminisces would have provoked any true knight to refute her claim. Sir Oswald just laughed."

Merlin arched an eyebrow in a 'see?' fashion which Arthur, despite the look of alarm building on his face, still argued with. "That's not conclusive proof."

Merlin leaned in close and lowered his voice. "Maybe she's too worried you'll condemn the source of it to give you her conclusive proof."

The look Arthur gave him could've melted steel, and he was grateful to Sir Leon for choosing that moment to tactfully shift the tone of the conversation.

"Sire, proof or not should we not at least consider what other motive for being here he might have."

A snort escaped Merlin. "Motive is easy, he wants to kill you."

It was Arthur's turn to snort. "If he wanted to kill me why didn't he attack when we first found him. I was completely off guard, I didn't even have my sword drawn."

"His head wound was actually legitimate, and he was probably still dealing with disorientation from whatever means he's using to alter his appearance. Besides I was there."

Sir Leon gave an amused grin at that comment, although his smile quickly faded when faced Arthur didn't join in. An uncomfortable silence lingered for a few moments before the knight finally broke it.

"Merlin how can you be sure it's Arthur he's after?"

He met the other man's gaze evenly. "Because this happens every time there's a tournament."

"Not every time," Arthur scoffed. Merlin turned the look on him. "You can't be serious."

"There have been nine tournaments in the three and a half years I've been here. You've nearly died in seven of them. Including the one no one knew you were a part of."

Leon's brows pinched together. "Which one was that?" At least he was taking this seriously now.

"Not important." Arthur told his knight. Merlin watched the prince think hard before finally acquiescing partially, "Look, everything gets underway tomorrow. I'll be surrounded by knights, guards and palace attendants almost 24 hours a day for the next three days. If he tries to make a move on me he will have a lot of other people he'll have to get through first."

"People he'll have to try to get through first," Sir Leon muttered.

"That's tomorrow," Merlin reminded them, not at all reassured by the 'I'm humoring you' look on the prince's face. "What happens until then?"

"Well you've been so attentive to him since he got here, I'm sure he'd find it odd if you disappeared on him now. Go on, don't let him out of your sight."

Sir Leon tensed. "Arthur you're not going to let him face this man alone?"

"Why not? You can handle keeping me safe, can't you Merlin?"

Clamping his teeth down hard on an already aching tongue - this conversation being a prime example of everything he'd been telling Gaius the other day - Merlin matched Arthur's fake smile. "Thank you for your concern Sir Leon but I'll be fine. I'll just say goodnight then if I may sire." He sketched a bow and was out the door but not without missing the wince on the knight's face at his tone.

What he did miss was the questioning look Arthur received after he'd left, and the protectiveness on the prince's face as he nodded in return and gestured for Leon to go following after him. As things would turn out he was very grateful the knight obeyed without hesitation.

* * *

Oswald - for whatever his occupation, Merlin refused to acknowledge him as a defender of Camelot - wasn't in his room when Merlin arrived. The chambermaid changing the bed linens mentioned he hadn't been seen since lunch.

Worry mounting with his every step he raced back through the palace, checking all the places a visiting knight was likely to be and some of the places they weren't. Finally he poked his head in the main armory. No sign of the man but his sword was in its proper place along the wall a fact that made him breathe a little easier. Except, now that he thought about it, even the man's sword didn't ring true.

Pinching his nose he let out a groan. Maybe he was overtired, maybe it was Morgana rubbing off on him but he needed a clear head if was going to stop whatever the true plan was. Only question was, what was that plan? _Standing here doing nothing is pointless, pick up the stupid thing and find out before you go mad!_

Spotting no one in his quick glance around, he slipped into the room and lifted the sword from its resting place, running a critical eye over it.

The weight was alright, balance.. off for him but for someone with shorter arms it was probably fine. The blade looked like it always had, the same as all the others that had been prepared for the melee. A frown tugged at his brow.

All of those swords had been blunted after the knights had arrived in Camelot. He'd done Arthur's just this afternoon. Why had Oswald brought his like that from the start? If the man was an impostor surely he wasn't going to march into enemy territory with only a blunted weapon at his side. Unless the sword was just a front and his true weapon was something else? Well there was one way to find out.

Grasping the hilt in both hands he held it out directly in front of him and closed his eyes calling on his magic to help him focus. It screamed a warning seconds before he felt the blade being ripped from his hand, leaving a sizable dent in the process if the pain in his left palm was any indication.

Blinking through involuntary tears he opened his eyes to see the twisted face of the sword's owner sneering at him.

"You have a lot of nerve for a serving boy. I can't imagine Camelot takes kindly to thieves."

"It doesn't take kindly to impostors and assassins either."

"Oh is that what I am? And how long did it take you to figure that out? Don't think I haven't seen you watching me. You and that fancy little flirt the king keeps as decor for his court. I know you suspect me. I also know if you had any real proof your prince would be the one threatening me."

The man paused, his head to one side."Maybe I should let you try to convince him you're right. I like fair play. You can tell him all your suspicions. Despite his numerous flaws, Arthur Pendragon is no fool. A woman and a peasant," he laughed darkly, "nothing you say will hold any weight with him. Well go on, I won't stop you. Or do you want to have a go at me yourself. Think I'll confess to spare myself the agony of your torment?"

He stepped closer and tapped the tip of the sword against Merlin's bloody hand. "I assure you that's just a taste of what this blade can do. Do I need to give you another?"

"Merlin there you are! Arthur's had me looking everywhere for you."

 _Sir Leon, you are a godsend._

"You might want to tell the prince to get someone else." Oswald laughed, hastily backing away as the knight entered and cleaning the sword off. "Relying on this boy, the only thing he's going to find is defeat."

Leon ignored him, his eyes fixed on the red leaking from Merlin's clenched fist. The other man followed his look.

"Ah there's my point being made for me. Only an complete ignoramus could manage to cut himself on a dull sword."

Leon took up a casual yet protective stance at the warlock's shoulder. "What are you doing in here Merlin?" He asked.

Pushing down his rage Merlin managed a falsely bright tone. "Arthur wanted me to see to it everything was in order here so there would be no delay in the competitors equipping themselves in the morning. I though Sir Oswald's sword needed a polish."

Everything from his eyes to his posture probably screamed blatant liar but Leon accepted his explanation and pushed his way in between him and Sir Oswald, taking the sword from the later as he did so. He paused briefly in placing it back on the rack with the other swords then turned around and wrapped a hand - comforting or restraining Merlin couldn't tell - around the servant's arm.

"It's late. Return to your chamber Sir Oswald. Prince Arthur won't take kindly to _anyone_ who's late for their assignment tomorrow."

"What about him?" the man with Oswald's face protested.

"I'll see to it he gets where he's supposed to be without anyone interfering with him. Or him interfering with anyone."

Merlin's cheeks burned as the charlatan knight chuckled, all traces of malevolence gone from his demeanor.

"Good man. As a thank you I promise to not beat you with one blow tomorrow." Still laughing he strode confidently from the room.

Merlin's attempt to follow was stopped short by Sir Leon's tightened grip on his arm. The other man held a warning finger to his lips when the warlock turned to protest. He was quiet a minute or two, listening intently, before dragging Merlin out into the corridor with him.

There was no sign of anyone lingering and Sir Leon finally slackened his grip. "Come with me," was all he said. In a tone that men more stubborn than Merlin had been forced to obey. Reluctantly he moved to keep pace with the knight.

"Where exactly are you taking me?" he asked after they'd gone a shot distance. "Both Arthur's and Gaius' chambers are the other way."

Leon gave him a sidelong glance. "Is your cut bad enough to need stitching?"

Merlin opened his fist enough to study the split skin. "No, I don't think so."

"Then Gaius can wait."

Still retaining a hold on his jacket, Leon led him down several twisting hallways toward the wing containing the senior knights chambers. Merlin remembered Arthur saying once that a select few were allotted their own living spaces apart from the barracks. When one of those knight's died, retired to their own home, or were recalled to their lord's lands, then another with enough years of service or one who had earned a special privilege, would take their place. Leon was one of the youngest ever to occupy his own room.

The chamber was certainly nothing glamorous but it was warm, would have plenty of light even well into the evening and, Merlin observed with some amusement, was nearly as messy as Arthur's got when Merlin didn't stay on top of it.

The curly haired knight pushed him, not ungently, down onto the only chair that wasn't piled high with papers and pieces of weaponry, and turned to dig in a cupboard. Looking around Merlin couldn't help some surprise at what a contrast the room was to the impeccably neat and methodical individual he saw day to day. He wondered what else he didn't know about Arthur's best knight.

Long minutes of fumbling noises and muffled exclamations later, and Sir Leon emerged triumphantly with a roll of bandages and a small jar. Pouring some water into a bowl, he came around and sat on the end of his bed opposite Merlin.

"Thought you said it could wait," Merlin protested as Leon claimed his hand and began wiping it clean with a soft cloth.

"I said you didn't need to go to Gaius. I need to talk to you, but there's no need to let you bleed all over everything while that happens."

Merlin frowned at that statement and tried not to squirm as Leon finished cleaning and spread a noxious ointment on his cut. He recognized the smell as that of herbs used to prevent infection, and was both impressed and thankful for the added level of care. That didn't stop him from reaching for the bandages for himself when the time came to wrap it however, nor from protesting when Leon smacked his hand away.

"I am fully capable of bandaging my own wounds."

"I'm sure," Leon agreed, tying the last knot. "There. Not the highest standard but it'll do."

Merlin rubbed at the bandage absently, not looking at him. "Thanks."

"Good, there's one. I do believe you owe me a second."

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough. After this tournament is over I'm going to insist Arthur give you actual training not just treat you like a punching bag."

"Thanks, but what good will that do exactly?"

"Keep you from getting trounced the next time you stick your nose where most would say it doesn't belong. You're smart Merlin, and I know you can talk yourself out of a lot of things, but words don't stop a sword from piercing your chest. You need a skill you can rely on."

It took all of his self control to keep from laughing outright at that. What would the knight think if he told him exactly what skills he had at his disposal? Still the older man meant well, and Merlin was sensible to the possible ridicule he was opening himself up for in sticking up for a servant, no matter how untypical the situation. Keeping his gaze down he nodded in understanding.

"I am grateful for your help," he said.

"I know you are." Leaning over, Leon pushed his shoulder in a friendly way. "This will work out. And in the meantime, at least it's your left hand ay?"

Merlin jolted his head up, startling the other man back.

"What is it?"

"Left hand!" He exclaimed, waving his own for emphasis.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sir Oswald - the real Sir Oswald - is left handed. I remember reading it in the dossier on the entrants. I like to know what Arthur's going to be facing," he added at Leon's raised eyebrow.

Technically that information wasn't supposed to be shared by anyone outside the knights themselves, but under the circumstances Merlin didn't think the other man was going to report him for it. Arthur probably knew anyway, seeing as the two of them had discussed the prince's opponents before, and Merlin had been the one to provide half of the facts in those conversations.

Leon nodded slowly. "That explains our practice fight this morning. I remember having the feeling something was different about the way he held his sword versus the last time I saw him compete. Now it makes sense, he's been using the wrong hand this entire time." His expression grew perturbed.

"It's an easy thing to overlook," Merlin tried.

"Oh I know. Aside from the king, Camelot doesn't have many left handed fighters. You rarely remember who is until they're using that fact against you. Still it's no excuse for forgetting. We should count ourselves lucky. Clearly whoever this man is wasn't as careful with his research as he should have been when he planned this scheme. He missed that detail."

Merlin couldn't help a smile, worried though it was. "Nice to hear someone believes me in all this."

Leon looked up sharply. "Arthur believes you Merlin. He's trapped by the need for proof, and that's frustrating - for both of you - but don't think for a minute that he doubts your word. He might do everything he can to hide it, but when all is said and done you might be the only one he trusts."

 _And I'm the one who's lied to him the most._

He sighed and Leon squeezed his arm reassuringly. "No man is an island, not even one who's been trained to be from birth. We all need someone watching our back. Remember that next time?"

"I will."

"Good, now get back home."

"But-"

"Now, and don't argue," the knight ordered, getting to his feet. "I'm going to find Arthur. Using his 'off' hand in training isn't enough in itself to claim he's not Sir Oswald, but impostor or no impostor, sharpened swords are forbidden. At least we can get him banned from competing."

"You heard what he said about the sword. Even if Arthur believes me Uther will never accept a servant's word that an oh so noble knight is using a forbidden weapon." Merlin reminded him, unable to completely hide the bitter edge to his voice.

Leon gave a secretive half smile and held up his own hand, revealing a shallow cut running the length of his finger. "He'll take _my_ word for it."

 **So next chapter is started but I have 20 hours of upcoming Continuing Education credits I have to get in order to keep my Pharmacy Tech license and I'm going to** _ **try**_ **to get most of them in October so I'm going to have another busy month. But (hopefully) not as bad as September. Please have patience. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ugh this chapter! Practically nothing I pre-wrote made it in and I really liked some of it :( But it was impossible to make it fit with what would logically happen sooo. Anyways I realized since I changed the into to this "episode" my antagonist needed an entirely new motivation. Not sure if it's perfectly executed but one could say the original one was pretty thin character wise, so I don't think it's too bad. You tell me though. Also I don't know where the whole last part came from. It's pretty wordy but it works well with what the ultimate end might be (more or less halfway there I think) so I'm keeping it. And I don't own any dialogue you may recognize as part of it.**

 **Tell me what you think and thank you all reviewers, including my guest reviewer(s) for the previous chapters. I love hearing what you think.**

 **Summary: The confrontation with "Sir Oswald" leads to the discovery of yet another stain hiding beneath Camelot's surface. Arthur wonders if it's even possible to reconcile justice and loyalty anymore.**

Sir Leon had given a very concise and succinct report detailing "Sir Oswald's" violation of tournament rules, his threats, Merlin's injury, and his own subsequent treatment of that injury. At least, Arthur assumed he had.

Truth be told the minute the prince had heard mention of a sword being held to his bleeding servant's throat his thoughts had been absorbed in a battle between immediately ensuring said servant was tucked away somewhere nice and safe, and finding that double-dealing scoundrel of a knight and showing him what kind of damage even a blunted sword could do.

Eventually protectiveness and self restraint struck a semi happy bargain and he ordered Leon to place a contingent of guards outside the visiting knights barracks (their presence hopefully heading off any rash actions that might be taken that night without giving off any overt signals that there was trouble suspected) before meeting him in Gaius chambers. He wanted to see if Merlin had anything to add to the story but the other man was likely to downplay his account out of some misguided attempt to spare anyone worry. Having Leon there would force him to answer honestly.

He reached the physician's room in record time, the blessedly empty corridors allowing him to speed across the palace faster than was strictly necessary. Arthur's unchecked speed upon entering the room caused the door to have an unfortunate impact with the wall, waking Gaius who'd been dozing in a chair as he waited for some experiment to do whatever it was it was meant to be doing. He sat up with a start, scolding as he did so.

"Merlin! How many times have I told you-" he broke off seeing who it was who was slamming doors at this hour of the night. "Oh forgive me sire."

"You were expecting Merlin? Why isn't he here?

"I'm afraid I don't know, I'd assumed you'd kept him late. Has something happened?"

Watching the physician closely, Arthur briefly summed up events from Merlin's first mention of his suspicions to the events of that night. Other than a completely understandable concern as to the severity of his surrogate son's injury the old man's face betrayed no emotion.

Leon arrived just as Arthur finished speaking. The knight appeared genuinely surprised at Merlin's absence. "I told him to come straight back here."

"Did you really think he'd listen?" Arthur bit out.

"He didn't argue."

"Never mind. Where do you think he might be? Surely he wouldn't have turned around and gone back to-"

"He's not a fool my lord." Gaius interjected.

 _Are you sure about that?_

"The impostor did threaten Morgana as well, sire." Leon reminded them. "It was indirect but Merlin might have felt the need to warn her."

"If he didn't, someone should." Gaius advised. He was worried - that much anyone could see. Although he seemed determined to keep the same placid demeanor he always had in a crisis. How he did it Arthur really wanted to find out some day. Now though he had to act.

"Very well, Sir Leon and I will check. If he turns up while we're gone Gaius, give him something to stop him moving and send someone to find me. Don't let him out of your sight!"

He stormed from the room inwardly cursing Leon for leaving Merlin alone in the first place. "Didn't argue" indeed. It was when Merlin didn't argue that you really had to worry. It meant he'd already decided to go behind your back the second you weren't looking.

One of these days Leon would learn that.

* * *

For the second time that night the prince shoved open a door with barely a knock. Unlike the first time however, instead of polite surprise he was met with a greeting in the form of a solid object flying straight for his head. Battle instincts kicking in just in time he managed to dodge it. Sir Leon wasn't so lucky, a fact confirmed by the loud clang of metal being impacted by what was soon found to be Morgana's silver inkwell.

Ever the polite and understanding one Leon carefully scooped up the now spoiled instrument and returned it to its owner. She accepted it with an embarrassed flush and set it down on her desk before indignation took over.

"Just what do you think you're doing barging into my room in the middle of the night?"

Stuck for a good way to express his concern Arthur answered lamely, "I wanted to see if Merlin had warned you of Sir Oswald being an impostor."

"I was before you interrupted me." A voice spoke behind Arthur's shoulder causing him to whirl around sword in hand. Merlin startled in response and jumped back.

"What have I told you about sneaking up on me!?"

Merlin blinked several times, a confused look on his flushed face. "Have I ever snuck up on you?"

"As it happens," Morgana interrupted, looking as if she'd just been told the sun shone during the daytime, " _I_ figured that part out for myself. What he was actually warning me of was the fact your inaction has inflated this man's ego to the point where he considers himself invulnerable. And if the two of us continue to try to disprove that we could very well end up his targets."

"I would never let that happen. Come tomorrow morning he'll no longer be in a position to harm either of you. Or anyone else."

"You're locking him away then?" she asked.

Arthur hesitated. He should, but that was what had happened when Lancelot's lie had been discovered and he'd only wanted to serve. Granted Lancelot hadn't hurt Arthur's closest friend, but these two had been after him for weeks not to jump to immediately assuming the worst, and he _was_ trying to listen more.

"If he refuses my offer to leave and never return then yes. It's still possible we don't have the whole story," he raised his voice over the sound of her scoff. "He's a liar yes, but surely not all liars deserve to be treated as a threat to Camelot without question do they?"

Her slight flush told him the point was understood. "Something else might have happened to the real Sir Oswald," he continued. "This man might not be a murderer."

"Anyone who believes that stand on their head."

"Morgana!"

She held up her hands, as a gesture of surrender or dismissal he couldn't quite tell. "Your funeral. But don't say I didn't warn you." Turning away he just caught the look she sent Merlin, one that said 'I've done enough, he's your problem now.' Merlin nodded in return.

"Hey now-"

"Goodnight Arthur."

Feeling very much like a child being sent to his room he made his exit, Merlin and Leon on his heels.

"Permission to lead the group escorting the impostor out of Camelot sire?"

"Aren't you competing tomorrow Sir Leon?"

"Not till the afternoon. And Sir Oswald was to be my first opponent anyway. You'll need time to find a replacement. And, if I may speak freely, I want to be sure he's gone."

If it were possible Arthur's appreciation of Sir Leon increased even further on hearing those words. He really wanted to kick the creep out of his kingdom personally but since that would increase the chances of the matter becoming public, Leon would be his first choice to take his place. "Very well," he agreed. "I don't have to tell you how critical it is that this be taken care of with the minimum attention possible being drawn to it."

"You can rely on it sire. I'll see to everything."

"You can't see to anything with that dent in your armor," Merlin spoke up gesturing to the momentio of Morgana's target practice in the knight's shoulder. "Give it to me, I can fix it and have it to you by morning."

"Merlin you need to go to bed."

"It won't take me any time. I haven't been sleeping much lately anyway."

"How are you going to do it with one hand?" Leon asked practically.

Feeling a stab of guilt at forgetting the whole point of his trying to find Merlin in the first place Arthur took his first good look at Merlin's injured hand. The bandages were wrapped tightly and still looked fresh, he obviously hadn't done too much to disturb the injury. That would change if he continued to try to use it.

"I've done more with worse." Merlin answered, pulling an frown and a curious look from the knight. A look very carefully not directed at him, Arthur noted.

Clearly oblivious to the indirect accusation he'd just made, Merlin held out his unbandaged hand in a silent demand for the armor. This time Leon did look at Arthur, something Merlin didn't appreciate if the harsh clearing of his throat was any indication. Arthur shrugged helplessly and gestured as if to say 'He'll never rest if you don't do as he says.'Leon nodded in understanding, unbuckled his shoulder plate and handed it over.

"Thank you," he said.

Merlin nodded back then awkwardly dropped his gaze to his feet a moment later, as if it were just sinking in that he'd all but given a knight an order, and in front of the crown prince no less.

Having no wish to prolong his discomfort, or maybe just wanting to guarantee he was the only one enjoying it, Arthur wished Leon good night and the knight, once again recognizing an order when he heard one, retreated from the tense atmosphere as quickly as dignity would allow.

Arthur rounded on his servant the second Leon was out of sight.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

Merlin looked over at him surprise evident on his face. He quickly pulled his injured arm back when Arthur reached for it, giving the prince a faint smile. "I will be, don't worry. I live with a physician after all. He knows how to handle little injuries."

His eyes said he'd had enough of being hounded about the matter so Arthur, well acquainted with that feeling himself tried for a joke instead. "I'm more worried about your fever than your injury."

A frown creased the other man's brow. "I don't have a fever."

"You sure. Because in three years I've never seen you so eager to tend to my armor."

"Ha,ha. I owe Leon this. He saved might just have saved my life."

"I've saved your life!"

"And don't think for a minute I'm not grateful," Merlin acknowledged, the mollifying in his voice clear as day. But you haven't saved it enough times for me to owe you."

Arthur had absolutely no response to that.

* * *

The day was not turning out to be the stress reliever Arthur had hoped it would - not by a long shot. Sir Oswald's impostor had been removed without any trouble, as if confirming his idea that the situation wasn't as dire as it had been made out to be. But the whole situation had left prince distracted. Sure he'd beaten his first two opponents - easily - but the combat had not served to release the tension as well as it should have. Maybe it was Merlin's paranoia rubbing off on him but he couldn't shake the impression that despite what he'd first thought the issue was yet to be resolved.

Merlin was nowhere in sight as he exited the tournament field after his second match. Strictly speaking he wasn't required to be. But however barbaric his servant found tournaments he liked to be one of the first to congratulate Arthur on his victories. His absence now did nothing to allay the feeling that something wasn't right.

Quick strides brought Arthur to the entrance of his tent. The sound of voices from the inside came to a halt the moment he stepped inside.

Strangely, the sight he witnessed - that of the no longer absent pretender standing toe to toe with Merlin, who was wearing a scowl on his face the likes of which didn't belong on someone like him Arthur thought, brought the prince more annoyance than worry.

Casting a brief glance over his manservant, enough to assure himself he hadn't been inflicted with any more harm, Arthur strode confidently toward them one hand resting casually on his sword hilt. Stopping at Merlin's side he addressed the intruder.

"Look, whoever you are, whatever your mission, I've given you more than enough chances to back out. I can no longer allow you to escape the consequence of your deception, nor give you the opportunity to harm anyone else. However if you surrender without resistance I will allow you time to explain what it is you want. You may still earn the leniency others in your position have been granted."

The man's face twisted into a sneer. "It's your leniency that's put me in this position in the first place!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I mean if Camelot actually held it's knights to the standards it claimed to there would be no need for me to be here."

Taken aback by the fury in the man's voice Arthur tried to clarify his meaning. "The knights of Camelot regard it their sacred duty to protect and serve."

"Yes, themselves! In my village protection and service come with a price. Judgments and aid come with a price. Coin, ale, the honor of a girl too young to understand what she's giving up, if they get what they want, so do you. If they don't - well they see to it they do one way or another - but you get left to the wolves.

"I've had to resort to this 'deception' as you put it because it's the only way to make people see theirs. To make people see them for who they are. Petty criminals who hide behind a veil of honor and nobility, all the while being nothing but hypocritical thieves."

Arthur shook his head slowly. "I've heard nothing of this. Surely you could have reported-" He paused as Oswald's (not knowing the man's real name that was the easiest way to refer to him) scowl deepened.

"Reported to whom exactly? And what could we say? Members of 'the most noble army the world has ever known' are behaving worse than the very criminals they're meant to apprehend. What exactly are the chances we'd be believed?"

"You could have tried. I don't expect anyone to put up with abuse."

"Oh by all means, let's blame the perpetrator's actions on the victim's inaction. 'Why didn't you speak up?,' 'Why didn't you fight harder?, 'Why did you _let_ them do what they did?' Answer me this champion of justice, if one of your people brought an accusation against a member of the nobility what would the king do?"

"Investigate of course," Arthur immediately replied. A laugh told him what his opponent thought of that. "He would." He had too. His father was a hard man but he wasn't cruel. If his people were suffering he'd do what he could to end it.

Glancing at Merlin for support the prince was not at all reassured by the dubious look on his servant's face. He covered the look quickly but the damage was done.

"Seems there's a discrepancy in words versus actions here Your Highness." Oswald observed, shifting his attention to Merlin. "How long have you worked for the prince?"

"How is that relevant?"

The interruption was met with a glare. "For someone who wanted an explanation I suggest you start listening." Turning away he repeated his question. "How long?"

"Three years give or take." Merlin answered with an attempt at casualness. Arthur could tell by the stiffness of his frame his servant didn't have any more idea where this was going then he did.

"And how many times have you had something important to tell him? Something that involved the wrongdoing of someone who's title did nothing to offset their conduct as a person?"

"It's happened occasionally."

Arthur almost snorted at that. Merlin made a living reporting this, that, and the other person's suspicious activities. Half the time it was nonsense.

"How many times has he listened to you?"

 _Crud…_

"Enough." The reply was firm but unfortunately a shade too long in coming. A triumphant smile lit the questioner's face as he turned back to the prince, his point now uncomfortably clear.

"You can't even believe the word of a man who's been by your side for three years, yet you expect me to believe the word of a villager you've never met would be enough to convince you of the truth?"

"How is this any better?" Merlin asked, his voice tight with sympathy and disbelief. "Killing a man - a good man by all accounts - using his face to kill Arthur, what did you hope that would accomplish? It's not going to right the wrongs those men have committed. Even if you succeeded - which you won't - do you honestly believe you'll even live to see the results of your scheme?"

"Life or death means nothing to me. Either way the deed will be done. Not even Uther will be blinded to the atrocities his men are capable of. If one can kill his son, it will be nothing to believe that one can steal or lie. And even if the king doesn't believe them, the people will. Their consequence free lives will be over."

Looking at Arthur once again the man gave a sweeping half bow. "So Your Highness, ready to die for the cause?"

"You're insane."

"No, I'm dedicated. And thanks to the knights of Camelot I no longer have anything to lose."

Coming when it did, the attack very nearly caught Arthur off guard. He'd seen the sword in Oswald's hand but even after such a chilling yet heartfelt declaration, the active use of it was unexpected.

Even with that slip it wasn't much of a fight. In other circumstances the man might be a decent opponent - he was certainly good enough to fool those he'd trained with. But he was unfocused, and determined though he may act Arthur sensed the hesitancy of a non-soldier in him. It was unlikely he'd be able to make any truly lethal maneuvers no matter his opponent.

A few brief moments and Arthur's experience overrode his adversary's emotion, easily disarming the man and leaving him lying flat on his back, the tip of Arthur blade touched against his chest.

"Last chance. Surrender and I will speak to my father on your behalf. I'll try to get him to allow you to say your piece before you face sentencing. You can still make things better for those you leave behind. Others may be willing to help." _Come on please, don't ruin this for everyone involved._

Rage was still present on the criminal's face, but exhaustion and pain were slowly overshadowing it. He was beaten and he knew it. There was no open submission shown but he rolled reluctantly over onto his stomach in response to the sword's prodding and lay tense but quiet as his hands were bound behind his back.

Hauling the man part way up, Arthur stepped back and eyed Merlin out of the corner of his eye. "I don't suppose you owe me now?"

"As a matter of fact-" Merlin cut off with a yelp and yanked Arthur hard to the side as the man launched himself from his kneeling position toward them. Off balance now that his target was no longer in place, he stumbled straight past them and the shoulder aimed at Arthur's gut collided heavily against a table.

Merlin blinked once at the now extremely disoriented man at their feet before returning his gaze to his master's face. "No, no I don't."

Arthur scowl earned him no sympathy although there was a small amount of pride in Merlin's expression. Not in the mood to accept it the prince shoved his training sword into his servant's hand and marched to the exit of the tent. "I'm going to call the guards. Watch him."

"That was rather dumb you know," Merlin told the prisoner as he left. His tone was one used when Arthur had made a particularly risky decision and Merlin was in a mood to tell him just how many ways it could all go horribly wrong. Arthur guessed the man was in for quite a lecture.

 _Good,_ he thought sourly _, let someone get the brunt of all the barbs for once. I've had enough of them today._

* * *

"A moment of your time if you please."

Despite the polite phrasing Arthur knew a demand when he heard one. Reluctantly he set down the goblet he'd hardly touched throughout the celebratory feast given in honor of his victory, and followed Morgana as she strode purposely out of the room.

"You want to tell me what I've done to upset you now?" he asked when they reached her chamber.

"You really have to ask? Fine. I want to know why you told Uther the intruder at the tournament yesterday had only just snuck in to attack you. Why you're letting the court believe him to be nothing but a common criminal rather than someone who's also fighting for justice?"

How on earth did she know what the man was really after? It was only him and- oh great. "Don't tell me, Merlin told you what happened?"

She tossed her head defiantly. "And why not? You're the one who's always insisting that I talk to him. You've no right to be angry that he's making sure I know the truth about things. Unless it's too damaging to your precious pride. Is that it? Are you hiding what he said so the truth will die with him? Can you not bear for the world to hear of your knights' sins?"

That was uncalled for. The people came before his pride, surely he'd proven that much to her by now.

"I didn't lie to cover for the knights," he struggled to keep his voice steady. "I lied because the man used sorcery! Gaius confirmed that was the only way he would be able to pull off the deception for as long as he did. And that is all my father would care about. If he knew the whole story, not only would the knights' alleged crimes never be investigated, he would see to the man's family was hunted down for aiding him. If no family was found, the village he comes from would be punished. Either as a whole or picked apart person by person until someone was found who knew what he was planning and could explain how he got the means to carry out his magical scheme."

"The magic was nothing," Morgana protested. "It gave him no advantage in battle and he wouldn't have needed it to kill you. We didn't even have it confirmed until after he was arrested."

"I agree," Arthur conceded watching her carefully. She was still angry but her expression was less hostile. "But you know what the king's like. The fact the real Sir Oswald is dead, the fact we were attacked, none of it would matter. The man-"

"Dagr." Morgana interrupted.

"What?"

"His name is Dagr. Or it will be until noon tomorrow."

"Dagr.. what he's going through now would be nothing. He'd be left in the dungeons for days while my father had men... questioning him. It wouldn't end until the king was convinced he told them everything he knew about magic.

"Until he'd had his fun you mean," Morgana said her face pale and a little green. Arthur's heart sank at the thought that she was likely picturing herself in the very same danger. But that was truly why he was doing things this way. He had to protect her, in every way he could.

"He would be sentenced and executed for possession of that crystal and nothing else. Can you really stomach another public lecture on the evils of magic? Another warning that we must be extra vigilant because it can insert itself into even the most protected corners of the kingdom. Another round of searches and interrogations of innocent people who've dared to say the word magic in any other tone than disgust? This way was the only way I could think of to stop that happening."

She nodded sadly. "What are you going to do about his claims though?"

"My father-"

"Won't care in the slightest. It's up to you to fix this."

"I am not king."

"That's your excuse to do nothing then?"

"No! I will fix this. I'm just saying doing so will not be simple."

"I know a way to make it so."

"What are you..No. I'm going to do you a favor and forget you ever implied what you just did, but don't you dare bring this up again."

She arched an eyebrow, not at all afraid of his anger. "It's only sensible. If you were king it would solve this problem."

"And create a hundred more. I know you're not that naive Morgana. Whatever my father's sins, I will not seize his throne while he is still fit to rule."

"He lost his fitness to rule the day he declared war on an entire race for the actions of one person. His blind belief that the noble houses can do no wrong is just a symptom of that madness. You'll see. The longer you wait to become king the more likely things will still be broken when your grandson takes the throne."

"Camelot isn't broken Morgana."

"I'm not even going to bother arguing with that. We both know the truth. The question is are you just going to accept that truth, or are you going to do something about it before it's too late?"

* * *

There was no way Arthur could stomach returning to the feast again after that - it had been winding down anyway - so taking what was perhaps the cowardly way out he immediately retreated to his chambers, her words shadowing his every step.

Did she really believe he'd ever agree to such an outright treasonous suggestion? Yes he'd always been a man of action but this? His father had earned his place as king and Arthur had no right to usurp that. Even if he _wanted_ too, what about the council? The army? They would all side with their rightful sovereign.

 _Are you sure about that?_

He hadn't been lying when he told his father any more baseless accusations and some of the council would start questioning his fitness as king. If those questions were encouraged would the council see him as a better chance to keep their portion of control and shift their support to Arthur instead?

And then there was the way Sir Leon hadn't batted an eye throughout Arthur's report of the intruder to the king. In the parts he'd been asked to confirm, he'd seconded the prince's explanation word-perfect. All without any prior collusion. It was a little troubling. Granted, calling the crown prince a liar was something no one (excluding Merlin probably) had any desire to ever do, but knowingly deceiving the king was an offence punishable by death.

All the knights respected Leon, almost as much as they did Arthur. The elder ones still held the king's word as law, regardless of how faulty that law was. He was obeyed without question as the one who knew best.

The younger generation however wasn't quite so forgiving. They tended to value actions more than words and their first response to any act of hypocrisy was fierce disdain. It was just as hard a job training them to obey orders that came with no explanation as it was to get them to learn the proper battle tactics.

They also, quite naturally perhaps, found it easier to serve and trust a man they were of an age with, one who shared their experiences. The king hadn't fought along his men in even a ceremonial way since Arthur was a child. He couldn't relate to the knights the way Arthur could - to say nothing of the people. _Maybe…_

Clenching his teeth he forced a stop to those thoughts. No good would come from open rebellion, Morgana should know that from what she'd already pulled. Best case scenario they'd end up on the run with a few loyal followers. Worse case Camelot would be torn apart by civil war and whoever ended up on the throne when it was over would have far worse problems than a so called broken kingdom.

On the subject of loyalty though, he did have to ponder how much of an explanation to give Sir Leon. He'd seemed unbothered by his role in Arthur's bending of the truth. Perhaps that was in part due to having seen the hastily covered relief on certain people's faces when the magic Dagr was using to institute his deception received no mention whatsoever. The dawning understanding that in this instance fewer people would be harmed by keeping the secret than by sharing it was all too clear in his eyes.

If the knight were to accept a part in the whole... whatever it was... they were running that would bring the total number of such allies up to six - four in the royal household alone. The more that number grew, the less comfortable Arthur became.

Not with the idea protecting his closest companions of course. It was more that it felt so natural to do so. In fact he didn't know what was scarier, that the lies had slipped from from his lips so easily or that he felt little compunction over having made them. Was this the problem Merlin had been facing this whole time? Did he ever feel regret over deceiving the people closest to him, or did saving lives or at least headaches make everything balance out? Would Arthur ever get used to having to lie to keep himself and his secrets safe? Would he ever get used to the feeling that his father was someone people had to be kept safe from?

And if he continued like this was he not already betraying his king and father? Perhaps it would be better to confront him openly after all. At least they could make a clear stand on the issues at stake. _You know why you can't do that,_ his subconscious whispered to him. _He won't listen no matter how well you put things to him._

"Hey." A quiet voice drew him gratefully from his racing thoughts.

Merlin had entered the room so quietly Arthur hadn't noticed him. He'd obviously been there some little time if the bowl of steaming water on the table was any indication. He was in the process of wringing out a towel over said bowl. Gesturing with his head to the chair next to him he asked, a little uncertainly, "You want to come here?"

Marveling a little at the anticipation of what he might be needing, Arthur slipped off his tunic and took the suggested seat. Several inarticulate noises of relief escaped him as the warm, wet cloth was laid across his tensed up shoulders. The heat was soothing and he reveled in it for some minutes until Merlin pulled it off to give it another dip in the water.

Watching from the corner of his eye Arthur spotted a glove covering his servant's left hand. "You know that's made of leather right," he observed. "And leather shouldn't get wet?"

"Says the man who still wears leather vests to go hunting even after I've warned him multiple times that it's going to rain." Merlin resettled the towel with a little more force than necessary, and began digging his knuckles into the base of Arthur's neck. "You haven't used this glove since your last birthday when everybody and their brother gave you a new pair. I'm only borrowing it because I don't have any and Gaius is threatening me with stitches if I mess up my bandage."

 _Great, what was a little more guilt on top of everything else?_ At least this one he could do something about.

"I'm sorry."

His servant sighed quietly. "No I am. I should have asked first."

"I mean...I'm sorry I didn't listen to you sooner. You would never have been hurt if I had."

The fingers paused in their ministrations. "I understand why you couldn't."

 _Understanding doesn't make me feel better…_ "How is it so easy for you?" he bit out, harsher than he'd intended.

"Easy?" Arthur could hear the frown in his voice.

"To see through people. You weren't fooled by the impersonation for a minute."

"That's not true. I owe a lot what happened to Morgana. She helped me make sense of my doubts."

"But you already had them. I didn't."

There was a pause as Merlin fiddled with a corner of the towel. "You were raised to believe in titles," he finally said. "I was raised to believe in people. It's not your fault there are those who hide ill intentions behind their status."

"It is if I can't discern the difference between someone pledged to protect my kingdom out of love and someone who wants to use their position for selfish gratification."

"Arthur-"

"I knighted these men. Or my father did on my recommendation. If what was said is true, if I couldn't see their true character, how can my people trust me in the future. How many more times has this happened? How many more are too afraid to speak up?" _How can I even think of being king?_

"Arthur!" Merlin came around the chair and crouched in front of him. "There is no way to know and no reason to assume any of the knights that man dealt with had any notion of abusing their position when they were granted knighthood. Power - any power - comes with opportunity to use it to get what you want, whether you deserve it or not. You should not be judged for their inability to resist temptation."

"I'm responsible for their conduct."

"Which is why if I know you at all, and I'm pretty convinced that I do, then I know your mind is already made up to investigate his claim for yourself, just as soon as you can find a way."

"And then what? Morgana's of the very forceful opinion my father won't do anything about it. That what they've done doesn't constitute treason in his eyes, therefore their status as nobility will stop him from condemning them."

"You don't know that for certain. Think, investigate, gather every shred of evidence you can, and then take your findings to him. Give him a chance to make it right, to act in the best interests of the people. I know this is going to come as a complete shock to you but it's _just possible_ Morgana might be wrong."

Arthur chuckled along with him for a moment then sobered as the reality of what his friend was doing sunk in.

"Why are you defending him? Of all people, I can't imagine you have any love for my father."

"No," Merlin answered after a moment's hesitation. "But you do. If I wouldn't let you kill him, I'm not going to let you give up on him, not yet. Not until it's obvious he no longer deserves your faith."

"What happens when it is?"

Merlin shrugged. "Then whatever changes you make I'll support you. You'll know when the time is right to act. You've more than proven capable judging people on factors other than what nobility they laid claim to. Nobility that Lancelot had more of in his little finger than half the lot who are born being told they're better than the rest of us."

"Well who knows? Maybe there'll be a chance for him in the future. I'll need men who are loyal to me."

"You wouldn't be sacrificing the skill of the army," Merlin pointed out. "No one, regardless of rank, gets to be a knight unless they are good enough to beat you anyway. And you know they would cherish it. It's worth thinking about for when you are king."

Arthur sighed. "I'll add it to the list."

Merlin smiled slightly and started to stand up. Arthur caught his hand and pulled him back down. "Will you really support me?" he asked.

"Of course-"

"No, think before you answer. Because whatever changes I may make during my rule, whatever the reaction to them might be, you'll have a place with me. But I need to know…" he cleared his throat awkwardly. Looking down at their clasped hands so as to avoid whatever look would form on Merlin's face, he forced out the next words. "I need to know you'll be willing to take it. I need to know I have your loyalty."

"If I've done something-"

"I'm not worried about what you've done." Not quite true, but Merlin's voice was breathless and hurt and that's not at all what Arthur wanted. Running his thumb across the trembling fingers in his grasp he continued, gently but urgently. "I just need to know if it came to a choice - and I can't believe I'm thinking it ever might - but if it did, would you side with me? Will you give me everything you have? Help me to protect and serve my kingdom...even if all others desert me for how I'm doing it?"

There's too much riding on this answer. Arthur's a fool for giving someone this much power over him. If even his knights can't be trusted to stick to their vows then why should he trust anyone else to? But he can't help it. Now more than ever he can't hide the fact that he's never had anyone like Merlin in his life before and he _needs_ to keep him in his life.

Even if what's taken him far too long to put together does turn out to be true (and Arthur's still split on if it will) it doesn't change things. If anything it proves Merlin truly is the most uncommonly, unfathomably loyal person Arthur ever had the honor of knowing. If he gave his word to stick by Arthur's side no matter what, then secrets or no secrets the prince would believe him. And when the time comes that loyalty might be just enough to push him to do what needs doing.

After what feels like an eternity but really can't be more than a minute Merlin responds. His tone was too steady - as if sheer willpower is the only thing keeping his emotions from bubbling over.

"Arthur, you and I have had our differences. Many of them. There have been times we didn't understand each other, times we couldn't stand each other. And I'd be lying if I said there won't be many more of such times in the future.

"But... despite your many, many faults, you have always been honest, and brave, and true hearted." He lifted his head and Arthur swore he could see past, present, and future written into the blue of the younger man's eyes. "And be it a year from now or 20 years from now, I swear, on my mother's life and my father's memory, I can think of no greater honor than to see you become the greatest king this land has ever known."

Grateful beyond words Arthur fought against the relieved tears prickling at his eyes. When he finally blinked them clear it was to see Merlin's watchful gaze resting on him, an unusual smile at once frightening and reassuring tugging at his mouth.

Leaning forward he touched his head to Arthur's and added very softly, "And gods have mercy on _anyone_ who tries to stop that from happening."


	9. Chapter 9

**Listing all the reasons this chapter has taken so long would take up an entire chapter and that's against the rules so just know that I'm sorry and I have not abandoned this story. I don't know when but I will try my best to finish it.**

 **Also because I can't respond personally to everyone who's asked: There will be no slash/fem slash in this (or any) of my stories. Any actions or comments that signify love/affection/devotion between these characters are intended only as love between close friends or those who see themselves as brothers or sisters. Hope all of you continue to enjoy. :)**

 **Summary: If Morgana is going to resist the pull of falling back under her sister's command she needs to know what it's like to feel useful, not just loved, in her present surroundings. When a new special acquaintance enters Arthur's life she gets the chance to do just that. (Roughly Ep 5-6 time but definitely AU)**

"I could search the whole world over and not find a gem of a more glittering green than those which shine in your eyes. These remain but a pale imitation but-"

"Ugh no more! That's worse than the last one."

"And almost impossible to read. Are all the lord's sons actually educated or not?"

Morgana shared her amusement."Education is one thing, intelligence and good taste are something else. Let me guess, such a pledge of undying devotion is attached to a mirror?"

"Hairbrush." Gwen corrected, holding up the gaudy, emerald encrusted item in question.

The subject of the poetic atrocity rolled themselves in annoyance. "What's that make six? No seven, I forgot that square one."

Gwen tilted her head thoughtfully."I actually think that one might be meant for your horse."

"Oh dear. Well, I suppose I should appreciate that someone thought for longer than two seconds about their gift but I must say flattered I am not. How many more will there be I wonder?"

"None. That's the last of the presents. Unless you want another look at Arthur's."

Lifting the lid off the dark wooden box she was handed, Morgana couldn't withhold a smile as she remembered the court's reaction when the prince had presented his gift to her at the feast.

Onlookers had no doubt been expecting her to unwrap an array of jewels or some other bit of frivolity. The trio of inkwells revealed instead had stumped them. Even more mystifying was her laugh in response to his stage whispered direction of "aim for the head next time." It was the first genuine one she'd given in ages, and it had felt good to let it out and see the difference in the reaction of those who knew the meaning of the private joke and those who did not.

She pondered them now, watching the candlelight reflect off the clear glass and polished metal. Lifting one she weighed it carefully in her hand then set the whole box aside with a little sigh.

"Well, an inkwell might not be the endearing present but at least he doesn't think my hair is in need of brushing."

Her maid was not fooled by her attempt at cheerfulness. Clearing aside an assortment of half unwrapped parcels Gwen sat at her side.

"What wrong Morgana?"

"The atmosphere tonight was...unsettling. More than I thought it would be. Here I am being showered with frivolous gifts by people who think my only asset is my pretty face while in reality I'm so much more. Only problem is if they knew for a second who I really was…" She trailed off. No need to go into that. "I was surrounded by people tonight, but with the exception of maybe two moments I've never felt so alone."

"I'm sorry. I should have been by your side during the party, never mind what the king said. You're not alone Morgana. You have me and you have Arthur. And I still don't know what exactly happened between you and Merlin, but he's obviously been trying to make up for it. There are people here love you."

"I know that Gwen, I just- I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I've never felt what you're feeling but that doesn't mean I can't try to help. Even if it's just listening. Tell me what else is bothering you."

It was some minutes before she could but Gwen didn't shuffle or sigh or show any signs of impatience. At last Morgana said, rather tentatively.

"It's been almost four months."

"Oh." A guarded but sympathetic look formed on Gwen's face, "You've heard nothing?" Morgana's temper flared at the the relief the other woman's voice failed to hide.

"You've made your opinion of my sister's character quite clear, you needn't worry about hiding your feelings now." The biting words didn't get a rise out of her maid and in a few minutes Morgana's anger faded. "What if something's happened to her?"

"We would have heard if any of Camelot's allies had apprehended her. And is she not powerful?"

"The strongest I've ever met."

"You would know better than I, but if that is true then someone wishing her harm wouldn't find her easily subdued. I don't think you have much to fear over her safety."

"Perhaps. But something must be keeping her from me. Camelot's security isn't foolproof." She knew that first hand. "If she wanted to she could get by it with no trouble."

"Yes she could."

"You think-"

"It doesn't matter what I think." Gwen interrupted firmly. "You'll never believe she's no good because I've said so, and you shouldn't. It has to come from you. But think about this: A person proves who they love first by who they put first. Simple as that. Yes coming here could mean risking her life, but if she cared enough about what you needed she would do it anyway. She would be here for you."

"Perhaps. But whenever she was around, I always felt like I had a purpose, someone to guide me. Arthur's trying to make things better and I cherish every life we've saved. But in the times we've been in a crunch so to speak, when we've needed a miracle, he's been the one to carry it off. I've done nothing. What good is my power when I'm unable to use it?"

Gwen had no answers but she stayed a while longer, finally leaving after having seen Morgana through her nightly routine. As long as the night had been however, the king's ward made no move to retire. Opening a drawer from her nightstand she pulled out the healing bracelet Morgause had given her.

For nearly two years it had never left her wrist. Now though she'd found herself leaving it in her room at least for the majority of the day. Too many people knew its origin and the looks she'd gotten from time to time were...discomforting. Bedtime had usually seen her putting it back on, the promise of nightmare free night being too strong to resist. Tonight though she had a hard time even looking at it. What comfort was gift when the person who gave it acted like you were no longer worth notice?

Rubbing her thumb across her family's crest her mind turned to when she would awaken from night terrors as a child. She'd make her way to her father's study and, when he could, he'd take her onto his lap and read to her from his travel journal until she fell asleep again. A smile graced her lips at the memory. For all the good it had done her, the bracelet was no substitute for his loving attention.

With that thought she let the ornamental band drop back in its box and promptly shut the lid. Memories were preferable to jewelry this night. At least she knew her father's gestures of affection had been real.

* * *

"You're two silver over asking price my lady." The short, pleasant faced draper objected, attempting to return the appropriate number of coins to Morgana's hand.

"Not at all," she said taking her package and refusing the return of coins. "Consider this a thank you for how quickly you got the silk for my last gown shipped in. I don't know what I would have done if I'd had to wear one of my old ones to my feast."

"It was no hardship. Certainly not worth the extra money."

"I'm afraid I must insist." She paused. "You've a family to support have you not?"

The man bowed in gratitude. "Thank you my lady."

"Of course. Come Gwen."

Morgana smiled to herself as she exited. She'd carried that off quite well. She could outshine Arthur in this sort of thing at least.

To be sure the man did have a wife and three children in his care. But in addition to the family's sewing business, he was also an important link in the supply chain the druids had running through the city. Well he was suspected of being so anyway.

If someone asked her she'd insist she wasn't about to let a good man's trade be destroyed by completely unsubstantiated rumors, and that she would continue to provide him her patronage for as long as she saw fit.

The monetary support had been Gwen's suggestion. When Arthur had first shown them the kingdom's "watch list" as he put it, the idea had been to pass on a warning to those on it that they should make alternative plans and/or be extra cautious with their dealings for the time being. Essentially to lay low for awhile. The response they'd received had been unexpected.

Obviously those involved didn't want to be sentenced to death for showing basic humanity, but on the other hand they wouldn't have taken the step of lending aid to people in need in the first place if they weren't prepared to take some risks. And they did not deem the current tense situation a good enough reason to cease their arrangements.

Instead of forcing a pause in the outflow of goods, Gwen had ventured the idea of giving the shopkeepers some extra money for the supplies they then passed on. So it wouldn't appear is if their inventory had fluctuated beyond the norm at any given time.

Morgana was pleased at how readily the other woman had fallen into their scheme, and Arthur reluctantly agreed to the suggestion, although not without warnings. So far, all things considered, so good.

The two lingered around the market stalls a few minutes more then returned to Morgana's chambers where Gwen set about putting their purchases in the wardrobe while the king's ward moved to her writing desk to tally up how much she'd spent. As she closed her ledger a folded paper slipped from the back of it. One she was certain had not been there before.

Unfolding it she found at the very top corner of an otherwise blank page the words "To show you where to come. Don't be late.", placed in small but familiar handwriting.

Letting out a gasp of surprise she dropped the sheet onto the still burning stub of a candle.

"What's wrong!" Gwen asked, hurrying over as Morgana snatched up the paper again. It wasn't even singed. Holding it out she could just make out a slight sheen covering the surface of the paper. Clearly not ordinary then.

"I think my sister just remembered that I exist."

* * *

"For the last time Morgana, no!"

"She's making an effort to reach out to me-" Arthur cut of her justification immediately.

"This isn't reaching out, this is issuing a demand. She hasn't talked to you for nearly half a year but now she's saying 'come to this as yet unnamed place and I'll tell you what you're going to do when you get there.' That is the attitude of a mistress not a sister. You are not a dog to sit obediently in a room and come only when called for. Don't let her turn you into one. No relationship can work with only one person trying."

 _Honestly, who are you and what have you done with Arthur?_

On the one hand it was heartwarming that he was exhorting her to keep her self respect, on the other he had no way of knowing what her sister's motivations might be.

"She's risking a lot just coming close enough to the city to meet with me." Morgana pointed out. They both knew that when it came to a confirmed threat Camelot's sentries wouldn't hesitate to shoot first, ask questions later.

"If she really is," Arthur countered, still in that maddeningly reasonable tone. "I presume that's an enchanted map. You have no way of knowing where it's going to lead. The woods are dangerous as you well know. What happens if you get in trouble and this time around a druid clan doesn't get there in time to help? At least promise me you won't try to face her alone."

"Don't be so dramatic, she'd never hurt me. She's not evil." She stressed the last words, trying to drown out the tiny voice in the back of her mind asking who it was she was trying to convince with that assertion.

"In that case when you go - since you seem determined to - take someone with you."

"I don't.. that's not a good idea."

"Why not? You just said she wasn't evil. If she only wants to see her younger sister than she shouldn't object to you having a friend along. And if you think she could be a danger to whoever that person is then you can't rightfully object to my believing she could be a danger to you. I don't want to lose you Morgana."

She caught her trembling lip between her teeth. It wouldn't do to let him see how much those words impacted. At least now that he'd made his point she could count on the emotional silence pushing him to change the subject. Moments later he did.

"At least promise me you'll put her off until after Lord Godwin's visit."

Morgana almost snorted. Right the "visit". More like a not so cleverly disguised attempt at an arranged marriage.

It was true that Uther and the lord of Gawant were old friends and it had been some time since they had enjoyed one another's company. It was also a fact (and a suspicious one at that) that the royals were arriving exactly one week after Godwin's daughter Princess Elena came of age.

No doubt Uther hoped his son would be dazzled by the girl's beauty and bow to his insistence of the advantages such a union would have for both kingdoms.

"Very well," she agreed, a mixture of sympathy and curiosity stirring inside her.

On the face of it the situation had nothing to do with her, but she owed it to Arthur to help him maneuver his way out of this. He'd been forced to accept enough things, a wife he didn't love shouldn't have to be one of them. She only hoped he could reject the alliance without setting his father off too badly.

Maybe they'd get lucky and the princess wouldn't care two figs for him either.

* * *

"And my ward, the Lady Morgana."

Coming back to herself Morgana forced her court smile back onto her face just in time for Uther to finish his introduction. She returned the visiting royals greeting with just enough grace for her distracted attitude to escape the king's notice.

Arthur, compliant in every way he could be, offered his arm to the princess and led her to head banquet table. Settling in his chair he looked across at Morgana with some concern. She wanted to think her bad night's sleep didn't show on her face, but it had been so long since she'd had a bad night's sleep, perhaps she was out of practice in hiding it.

There hadn't been nightmares, exactly. Just a general feeling of warning and - inexplicably - sorrow and pity. Like the feelings she'd gotten when a trader had brought some exotic animals to sell to her father's estate. Seeing a wild, beautiful, intelligent, creature trapped in a cage...she'd never forgotten how wrong it was.

Whether or not those feelings would have any bearing on the visit of Godwin and Elena she couldn't say, although experience had taught her she should keep a close eye on the whole party for the duration of the visit. One never knew from what corner danger could come and feeling pity for a trapped animal wasn't always a justifiable excuse for setting it free.

To her pleasant surprise though the first few days passed without incident. Elena was lovely young woman. A bit of a klutz true, but she was sweet and gave off a sense of innocence nearly unheard of amongst those raised at court. Even Arthur (for all Morgana knew his heart was firmly in the possession of someone else) was having a hard time being distant and aloof around her.

She might have relaxed completely, content to let matters of state and matters of the heart argue on their own terms, if not for witnessing the rare moments when the princess would catch her eye and frown just a little as if in pain. Or when Elena would be in the middle of a sentence (or on two occasions a burp) and suddenly fall silent, reaching out a hand to steady herself through a wave of dizziness. Moments later she'd come back to herself and seem genuinely confused by any show of concern being offered her.

"Don't you think it's all a little odd?" Morgana queried as she used an old favorite brush to tame her hair for the night. Gwen turned from smoothing down the bed covers to meet her eye.

"I went to check on her after dinner like you asked. The princess said she just had a headache and was going to turn in early. She seemed surprised that anyone was worried."

"She's like that every time. It's simple decency to become concerned when someone loses their train of thought and winces as often as she does. I should offer to have Gaius make her something."

"I already did. She…" Gwen's smile faded along with her sentence.

"Don't you start now," Morgana snapped, alarmed at her sudden silence.

"Sorry, it's just that... when I said the physician could get her something to ease the pain, she seemed agreeable. But Grunhilda her caretaker immediately spoke up and said it wasn't necessary. In fact whenever she's around the princess never speaks for herself."

Morgana chewed her thumbnail thinking hard. Seeing this Gwen's expression relaxed and she put her hand on her mistress' arm. "Don't go worrying over it just yet. If something is going to happen you'll know before anyone else. Save making up your mind until then."

"Perhaps you're right." She yawned and watched the other woman fight not to copy her. "Go on home, I can finish getting ready for bed on my own."

"You sure?"

"Yes, goodnight Gwen."

"Goodnight Morgana."

* * *

 _The warm humid feeling surrounding her would easily induce sleep were it not for the buzzing sound. It was faint but constant, as were the flashes of blue and yellow. The latter gradually increased in frequency and intensity overwhelming her until just as she was forced to close her eyes they resolved into a single image. A beam of light barreling full force into a woman. A woman who's loose strands of blond hair fell scattered across a blue deformed face._

* * *

Awakening to total darkness was at first a blessing after the blinding light of her dream, but once her eyes had adjusted the stillness quickly grew agitating. Leaping from bed Morgana scrambled her way to the window, drawing aside the heavy curtain and to get a glimpse of the outside world. The sun was just peaking over the hills on the other side of the courtyard, painting the edge of the sky fire red.

" _Do your trading early, there'll be storms before midday,"_ or so prophesied every market stall owner in Tintagel when they awoke to such a morning. Camelot was in no danger from a swelling sea, but the thought of inclement weather keeping her indoors all day did nothing to soothe her nerves.

A faint glow caught her eye as she turned from the window. Yanking open the drawer of her bedside table she found lines shimmering their way across the map Morgause had sent. They soon resolved themselves into an image of the woods to the north of Camelot.

Feeling as though she'd received an answer to a prayer she didn't remember saying she hurriedly threw on some riding clothes and grabbed her cloak. It was early enough that she might make it through the stables and out the back gates without anyone noticing.

Halfway across the northern field Arthur's warning wiggled its way into her consciousness, along with the promise she'd given not to meet her sister unaccompanied. But that had been before the princess had arrived. Morgana was now convinced there was something very wrong with the other woman. Something, if her dream held any truth, that was more serious than a crystal and a personal vendetta against the knights.

Morgause summoning her now was impeccable timing. She needed her sister to help her make sense of her dreams as she had in the past. And the rendezvous location was practically within sight of the castle. Fate herself could not have arranged things better. If her sister could arrive safely that is.

As if in answer to that thought a flash of grey fabric appeared at the edge of her vision. Changing direction she dug her heels into her mount and sped toward the figure who continued her purposeful march, oblivious to the world around her. She gave no hint of registering the horse's approach and Morgana had to pull hard on the reins to avoid a last minute collision.

The figure started back as the horse pulled alongside her, losing her footing and landing hard on the ground. The impact caused her concealing hood to fall back revealing beautiful golden curls. Ones that did not belong to the person she'd been assumed to be.

Dismounting in vexation Morgana aided the other woman to her feet.

"I'm terribly sorry. Are you alright Princess?"

"Lady Morgana?" Elena blinked at her in bewilderment.

"Are you hurt?" Morgana insisted, apprehension building inside her.

"No."

"What are you doing out here all alone?"

"I was hoping you could tell me. I was in my room, I thought. Grunhilda was there, or had she left? I got dizzy and thought I'd better lay down and then.. then I was here. Where are we?" Catching sight of the castle over Morgana's shoulder the princess' eye widened in fear. "How did I get so far away? I almost never make it out of the castle, much less the grounds."

"This has happened to you before?"

"Off and on but rarely since I was child. Back then I would often get lost or end up somewhere I hadn't planned on going. No one ever could figure out why. I have a very good sense of direction most of the time, even if I'm new to a place. But ever since we arrived here I've had nothing but trouble. And it's been getting worse. I have times I get confused or I blackout. And I have these awful headaches." Tears sprung to the Princess' eyes and Morgana's empathy ignited. To experience pains and fears you couldn't understand, she knew what that was like.

Reaching out she put her arm around the other woman and gently pulled her along. "Come on, let's get you back to the palace."

* * *

The princess was spirited away to her room almost immediately upon their return. Several members of the palace staff, including Morgana herself, offered to aid in caring for her in whatever way they could, but they were all turned away by plump little woman who identified herself as the princess' nurse.

Due to Gwen's reminder that they had more "shopping" to do that afternoon, the king's ward wasn't able to get back and check on their guest until long past the time she should have been in bed herself.

As she approached the room she spotted the nurse poking her head out the door and glancing quickly down the hall opposite from the one Morgana was coming from. The woman's manner was tense and furtive and Morgana took a small bit of pleasure in marching up to her with an all too bright smile.

"Hello. Would you be Grunhilda?"

The woman practically jumped out of her too pink skin. "Oh Lady Morgana! You gave me an awful fright. You're up late my dear."

"I couldn't fall asleep until I'd checked on Elena. I was the one who found her wandering in the woods you know. Poor thing, I simply had to know if you'd figured out what was wrong."

Grunhilda couldn't have looked more shocked if Morgana had told her the princess had turned purple and sprouted wings. "Well I thank you for your concern my dear but I assure you there is nothing wrong. She was a bit tired this morning I know. That may have made it seem like she were ill, but really she's in perfect health. Always has been."

Fighting the urge to narrow her eyes at the woman Morgana replied, "You're telling me she hasn't been the slightest bit disoriented or confused this whole time? Her head hasn't hurt? She hasn't forgotten where she was supposed to be?"

"Oh no-" she was cut off by the sound of a faint cry inside the room.

"What's happening?"

"Nothing, nothing. Talking in her sleep is all. Done that since she was small girl."

Another cry reached them, stronger this time. It was followed by the sound of whimpering.

"Sounds more like a bad dream," Morgana observed, inching her way forward as she talked. "I know all about those. Maybe I should see her. It's helpful to have someone to talk to. And we should be friends, seeing as she's meant to be here some time if I understand correctly."

Grunhilda perked up. "Permanently is the hope of course. It will be an honor to see her lead as Camelot's ruler and- my lady please I must insist!"

Taking advantage of her preening Morgana had reached the door and was in the process of pushing it open. The other woman let out a squeal and threw herself into Morgana's path.

"Please I must insist you leave her in peace. She has a prince to entrap er entrance. If her rest is disturbed Lord Godwin will be most displeased. Now goodnight my dear."

Squeezing her considerable bulk through the narrow opening left by the door she managed to get inside and pushed it closed again. Not letting that deter her Morgana turned and climbed onto the narrow bench along the wall, stretching upward on her toes to see through the air vent into the room. She couldn't catch what was being said but the sight was more than enough to confirm her suspicions.

Grunhilda had drawn back the bed curtains from around the sleeping princess and was sprinkling a fine dust over her face. A face identical to the one in her dream.

* * *

"Sister you're late. I called for you yesterday, did you not see?"

"I saw." Morgana answered, picking her way through the underbrush to the clearing Morgause had marked on her map. "And I was on my way, but I ran into a problem. One I need your help with."

Morgause gave an impatient gesture. "I already eliminated that pest of a serving boy. Do I need to do the same to Arthur?"

"No! I..That is Arthur's nothing I can't handle, he's not even a bother most of the time. Come to think of it even Merlin's less interfering right now. No what I need is-"

"He lives?! How?"

"I..don't..know actually. Now that you mention it, it shouldn't have been possible." Morgana shook off the question, Merlin wasn't important right now, Elena was.

Quickly she recounted the dreams she'd had, (ignoring Morgause offended sounding question over why she wasn't wearing her bracelet) and the worries that had led up to her encounter with the princess the previous day. Morgause was quiet for a few minutes but it was difficult to tell what she was thinking. That hurt a little. They'd been close for so many months Morgana once thought she could read her sister's mind. Now she was lost.

"A quarter mile north of here?" Morgause mused. "That would be about where the lake of Avalon is supposed to be."

"What is the Lake of Avalon?"

"It's said to be many things, a healing, a gateway, a place inhabited by those who are not of this world. I've never risked getting close enough to see which is correct although the last possibility is seeming the most likely. It would be in line with stories I've heard. I only wish I'd learned of this sooner, a changeling could have been most useful."

"A changeling?" Morgana gasped, her stomach dropping. "That poor girl. So that's why she was out here? Her blackouts are the work of the fairies?"

Morgause snorted. "A dreadful misnomer. Gives children the idea they are gentle and benevolent creatures who guide and aid, rather than deceive and destroy. But yes the Sidhe living inside the princess would be drawn in by the close proximity to it's true home and would at the appropriate time attempt to return for further instruction. Taking the princess along was likely just a precaution against its lack of influence being noticed while it was absent."

"I thought once a child was possessed it was impossible to separate the two."

"Only once the Sidhe has taken full control of its host, which it sounds like is soon to occur in the case of this girl."

"Then we still have time to end the threat."

"Yes," the older woman agreed, "in the long run that would be best. It's a shame though, Arthur being tricked into taking a Sidhe queen is the most glorious thing I've heard in ages. But the Sidhe do not ally with others, and even if they did, they stand in our way. You'll have to eliminate this girl before the wedding can take place."

"Eliminate? Surely killing her can't be the only way?"

"You would see another woman on your throne?"

"I wouldn't see me take the throne over an innocent person's dead body. Can't I just...free her from it's control?"

Morgause gave her an amused but pitying look. "Sister that involves magic beyond even my skills. And even if it didn't, one does not does not make an enemy of the Sidhe."

Morgana couldn't help the snort that escaped her. "Is that not just what I'd be doing by killing their...host?"

"You're smart enough to do that without them knowing it was you. Forcing it from her can't be done without making it very clear you are opposing them. It would not end well for you."

"You don't know that. And even if you're right I have to try. For Elena's sake. She doesn't deserve to have someone overpowering her will like this, forcing her to do things. No one deserves that."

Her sister's eyes flickered strangely, but she didn't speak. Morgana waited impatiently for a minute but when no helpful idea was forthcoming she turned to leave.

"Sister wait. In all this talk we've forgotten the reason I called you here. Admittedly my plans are in need of some refinement now but their foundation is still sound. It's important you be ready to act when I give you the go ahead. Now the first thing-"

"Surely we can go into that later," Morgana interrupted. "I need to get back while there is still time to act." Pushing down the growing discomfort in her stomach she gave her sister an appealing smile. "This is important."

Morgause returned the smile but it looked a shade too patronizing for Morgana's liking. "I'm sure it feels that way but there are bigger issues at stake. Once things start we won't be able to afford questions. You must know your opportunity when you see it."

"I understand. But a few more days-"

"No! Too much work has gone into this, it can't wait!"

"I did!" Morgana snapped back. "If anyone knows about waiting it's me! Four months as a matter of fact. Did you know it had been that long? Without so much as a message to verify I still breathed. I almost didn't. Did you know that either? I was fighting Arthur to protect the staff when the ceiling collapsed on me. I was unconscious for two days and in pain for weeks, even after my bones had healed."

"Sister-"

"You're wrong Morgause, I am the one who doesn't have time. You just admitted your plan has problems that need fixing. Fix them. Then come tell me about it. If you can spare the energy!"

* * *

As she burst into the physician's chambers, Gaius froze in the act of collecting empty bowls and Merlin was on his feet faster than she'd ever seen him move. In an instant he'd zeroed in on the look on her face.

"What is it? What's happened?"

The open concern stopped her cold. She'd marched up here ready to confidently spell out the problem and demand they help her find a solution. Now though, even the most basic of words stuck in her throat. Four months of working with them, learning to regain some of the trust that had been stolen from her and she still struggled to simply say when she was suspicious of something. In fact it seemed the more critical the situation was the more difficult doing so became.

With no way to express her feelings with any kind of emotional reserve she settled on a blunt. "Elena needs our help."

Credit where credit was due, he barely blinked. "Gwen told me you found her lost in the woods yesterday. As far as I know she isn't injured in any way, although I don't think she's left her room today."

"Has she been alone?"

"I don't know. Her maid or guardian or whatever has probably been around."

"That does nothing to reassure me, that woman's part of the problem. She might even be a Sidhe herself."

The sound of shattering drew her attention to Gaius. The old man had his head bent over the table, quickly picking up shards of broken glass with a shaking hand. The quick silencing glance he sent Merlin immediately had her hackles rising.

"I take it that's not the first time either of you have heard that name." Gaius lips remained firmly closed but Merlin shook his head slowly.

"If they're involved things are definitely not good."

"Morgause said the same thing," Morgana sighed, a wave of helplessness threatening to wash over her. Too late she remembered just who it was she was talking too. Glancing up she saw Merlin's expression change from confusion, to realization, to anger, to total blankness. The last emotion (or lack of it) was the most disconcerting of all.

"Perhaps you should start from the beginning?" Gaius offered, preventing either young person blurting out what they actually wanted to say.

As quickly and efficiently as possible she did just that, telling them everything from Morgause initial gift of the map, Arthur's reservations about it, Elana's unusual behavior (there was a flicker in Merlin's eye that said _that_ hadn't gone completely unnoticed) then her dreams, Grunhilda's suspicious action, and the argument with Morgause. Well she didn't tell them _everything_ from that encounter, only that she'd asked her sister for help and she had refused, saying that Elena's death would be the only way to ensure the death of the one possessing her.

"I refuse to believe that is true. The two of you know the most about magic of anyone in Camelot." A grueling admission if ever there was one. "You must have come across something that can break the Sidhe's possession of the princess."

Gaius face was neutral and guarded. Likely weighing the risks of revealing just how extensive his magical knowledge really was. Afraid of Uther finding out perhaps. ' _Or that if he shows exactly what he's capable of, I'll know just how badly he abandoned when my powers first started showing themselves.'_

Turning away before disgust overwhelmed her, she looked at Merlin.

He was equally silent but she could see the wheels spinning in his mind. Unlike her he was keeping a steady gaze on his mentor who finally surrendered under the weight of his stare.

"This isn't the first time the Sidhe has introduced a changeling into the world," the physician said. "In times past there were potions created to force the fairy to leave their host."

"Would you be able to make one?" Morgana asked.

"I've never had cause to try. I suppose it's possible. But it will be some time before I can locate a recipe, and even then the ingredients will almost certainly be difficult to obtain." Every word was spoken with obvious reluctance and Morgana clenched her teeth in an effort to resist throwing something at the old man.

' _This is hopeless! If Morgause said Elena's doomed what can a servant and a washed up old man who was clearly never more than a second rate sorcerer to begin with do to solve things?'_ She shook the thought away. When people wanted something there was always a chance.

"What can we do to speed things up?"

* * *

"Gwen said you wanted to see me. Is it ready?"

With a sigh that would make anyone sad, Gaius held up a small red bottle. "Merlin brought me the last ingredient an hour ago."

"I'm going to smell like bog for a week," the man in question said, coming down the stairs from his room.

"You still have mud on your chin." Gaius informed him, passing over a towel which in Merlin's less than capable hands didn't do anything but make the smear worse.

"Will it work?" Morgana asked, putting them back on track.

"In the future I'd recommend avoiding relying on recipes from the people who wrote this one if at all possible. That being said it will force the Shide to leave the princess, however we'll need a way to deal with it once it's out."

Morgana frowned slightly. She hadn't really thought that far ahead. These Sidhe weren't characters out of a storybook, they were a force to be reckoned with, in possession of magic that (if her sister was to be believed) surpassed even that of the high priestess.

"I have an idea about that." Merlin spoke up, meeting her eye. His expression turned deadly serious. "I'm fairly certain I have something powerful enough to destroy the Sidhe."

Not bothering to wonder how that was possible she ordered, "Well what are you waiting for? Get it."

"I will but I need you to promise me something."

The way he was nervously clenching his fists stopped her giving in to an oh so tempting eye roll. "I promise I won't tell anyone you have whatever it is you have."

He smiled briefly but the unease didn't leave his eyes. "Thank you but what I meant was," he swallowed, "promise you'll save all questions about it until after this is over."

That was most likely a bad deal but time didn't allow her to dwell on it. Nodding, she watched him disappear into his room, shutting the door firmly behind him. He re-emerged a few minutes later with a carved staff, the top of it wrapped in cloth. The color drained from her face when he uncovered it.

"I've seen that before."

"In the hands of Sophia of Tir Mor. Or at least that's the name she claimed was her's. When she and her father died they left it behind. It will let you destroy the Sidhe living inside Elena."

"How did you- wait did you say it will let _me_ destroy the Sidhe?"

"Yes did you say her?" Gaius sounded just as shocked as her. Merlin met his gaze levelly.

"You think her incapable?"

The old man closed his eyes as if pained but ceased his objections.

"Gaius will bring the potion to Elena saying it's for her headaches. He'll explain that it must be drunk right away so it can build up in her system. Once that happens the Sidhe will be forced from her system and you can use the power from the staff to destroy it."

"It's strong enough to kill them?"

"It is."

"One other problem Merlin. We have to get the staff to Elena's chambers. It's rather obviously magical."

"I can disguise it." Morgana offered.

Two heads turned to her.

"It's something my sis-" she interrupted herself flushing slightly. "It's one of the first things Morgause taught me. Once I had recovered enough to do anything that is." She carefully didn't look for Merlin's reaction to that. "It's been a long time since I've tried it but I might be able to cast a glamour around the staff, make it look ordinary. It won't last forever but it should for long enough to reach her chambers. Provided we aren't delayed or interrupted."

Merlin nodded seriously, a glint of - was that jealousy? - in his eyes. "Best let Gaius leave first. Between the two of us I'm sure we can find a clear path to the guest rooms. Once we know for sure the princess is in her chambers you can follow him in."

"I agree. How soon will you take the potion to her Gaius?"

"I'll leave as soon as you're ready."

* * *

Tingling with excitement, or nerves, or something else she couldn't put a name to, Morgana tucked herself around the corner while Gaius approached Elena's chamber. Quiet footsteps spoke of Merlin coming to stand beside her.

"Gwen has Grunhilda safely waylaid, she should be out of our hair for a while yet," he whispered. "Once you go in I'll wait outside to distract anyone who might come by. Gaius made it clear to Uther and Lord Godwin that the princess was in need of peace and quiet and might be for a few days. He's dropped hints she's contracted an as yet undiagnosed illness."

Morgana nodded, turning the thought over in her mind. "Well if this works that may very well give Arthur a way out of the marriage."

"I don't follow."

"You've seen the way Lord Godwin dotes on his daughter. If he thinks being here has had a detrimental effect on her health, it shouldn't be too hard to convince him she needs to return home. At least for the time being. I'm more concerned on how we're going to stop her questioning just what it is that's happened to her."

"Gaius is convinced that the force of the fairy exiting her body will knock her out. We already suspect her blackouts and such to be the times the Sidhe is trying to assert its control. If all goes well she'll awaken with no memory that it was ever present at all."

"And if she doesn't?"

Merlin chewed his lip. "It's your choice. But in all the time I've spent chasing after her and Arthur she's proven to be quite the rule breaker. And she's smart enough to realize you'll have saved her life. Might not be a bad thing for her to know just how it was done."

She turned to look at the staff gripped in her hand. It appeared to be made from nothing but smooth dark wood but the power pulsing against her skin told another story.

"What's wrong?"

"My magic. It's like...like I'm trying to use my arm for the first time after it's healed from a break. It's all tingly and sore, and I'm worried about what's going to happen if I push it further." She gestured to the staff. "Am I even going to be able to use this?"

His expression was calm and unfathomably understanding as he met her gaze. "I'm certain of it. But you must be too. Just take a deep breath and remember how far you've come. Everything will be alright, you'll see."

* * *

Despite the usual luck of those involved, it turned out he was right.

Aside from Elena's chambers sporting a few scorch marks from where Morgana's aim had missed hitting the newly evicted Sidhe, their plan went off with very little in the way of bumps or snags. The princess had awoken from her potion induced nap feeling like a new woman.

She was now sitting contentedly on the end of her bed while the castle staff was bustling about moving her luggage from the room. Morgana had been right in her prediction that the princess' "health scare" had convinced her father that the two of them should conclude their visit, even if it meant leaving the object of that visit unfulfilled. To speak of the relief of several individuals in Camelot's household would be inconsiderate.

"Are you recovering?" Morgana asked her, in genuine sympathy she was proud to say.

"Oh yes I'm quite alright. Better than alright. I haven't felt this good in years!"

"Even though you're going home a single woman?"

Elena snorted a laugh. "I'm far from heartbroken about that." She smiled politely. "I mean no offense of course. Arthur's a good man, and I have a great deal of respect for him, but there is no love between us. I also do not think he will be upset to hear I do not wish to be his wife."

Morgana smiled in return. "I know he will not. Of course Uther won't let things go that easily, just to warn you. If he keeps up the pressure do you think Lord Godwin will force you to return?"

Elena shook her head, mischievousness playing across her face. "My father once told me that my mother refused to accept his proposal until he beat her in a horse race. She said a woman had as much right to standards in her mate as a man. I'll simply remind him of that and tell him Arthur doesn't meet mine. He'll probably be disappointed but he respects the fact that I know my own mind, now more than ever. I followed him here knowing full well he thought being the future queen of Camelot would be the best way to make me happy. I believed he could be right so I was willing to try. But now I know it is not so, and he is not going to oblige me to follow through on promises that were not actually made."

"Your father sounds delightfully reasonable. It's a relief not to know all families show poor judgement."

Elena cocked her head thoughtfully. "If I may say, I don't consider different judgement to be poor judgement - not in itself. People are going to have strong opinions you don't share, or do things you don't agree with. What you have to do is decide if you can live with those differences."

"How can you tell if it's possible?"

"Judge their reaction when you express your disagreement with what they want. Do they overrule you or shut you down? Or do they ask why and try to work with you? Someone who reacts gracefully when wrong is far more reliable than someone who is always right." She chuckled suddenly. "That probably makes no sense."

"No. I can almost see.." Morgana stood abruptly. "Not important. I'll let you be, I'm sure you like to rest a little before you depart."

Elena followed her to the door. "You're probably right. Well, if I don't see you again Morgana, thank you. For everything."

The two women shared a smile.

"You're most welcome."

* * *

She passed Uther on her way back to her chambers but barely spared him a glance. The king was busy lecturing Arthur about maintaining good relations between them and Gawant, that he should plan to visit Elena at the first convenient opportunity, etc.

Arthur was listening dutifully but judging by the defiant glint in his eye, Uther was soon going to discover he was fighting a losing battle.

' _Judge people by how they react when you disagree with them.'_

Elena may not know it but that advice might just be the answer to Morgana's struggle over knowing who to give her trust to.

Arthur, Merlin, or Gwen, she'd never had any fear in telling them they were wrong. In fact there had been a few times these past few months when they'd depended on her to. She'd seen or heard something that meant changes in plans had to happen - and fast - to avoid their whole arrangement ending in disaster. The last minute scrambling meant frayed nerves and some stress induced bickering, but ultimately it was acknowledged she was right to make it happen. She'd even gotten thank you's. As Elena said they might disagree but they always listened.

Had Morgause ever done that? At first yes, but things had changed as that year stretched on, in ways Morgana hadn't wanted to consider before now. She'd chosen to blindly accept that her sister had things in hand and that Morgana's well being mattered most at all times. Now it was obvious that wasn't the case. Morgause may care for her, but her recent attitude had shown she was no longer the family Morgana had wanted her to be.

That didn't mean she was automatically an enemy but...

 _But I wouldn't be putting myself at her beck and call anymore_.

Gathering up Morgause map and shooting a glance toward her locked door, she lifted her hand to the fireplace and boosted the intensity of the flame with a burst of magic. She held the flare for a long minute before releasing the paper from her grasp and watching it get swallowed up by the fire.

She expected a feeling of sorrow or loss at performing such an irreversible act but instead there was satisfaction. As if she'd finally rid her dress of a dangling thread that'd done nothing but get in the way of things. It was a relief. She'd done enough waiting.

Time to move forward.


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm too tired to think of a proper summary so let's just say this chapter contains that big thing a lot of you have been waiting for! (No not Gwaine that other thing.) Hope it doesn't disappoint.**

 **Thank you to everyone including Adele and my other guest reviewers for your kind comments. :)**

"So just to clarify, did Morgana's magic destroy the creature or was it the staff's magic?"

"Both." Merlin paused, trying to think how best to help the prince understand. "The staff was created with Sidhe magic, which is what made it powerful enough to kill the one inside Elena. But only a powerful magic user can wield something like that and use it as they see fit. It's a little complicated."

"I get the idea."

"Any other questions?"

"One. I'm not quite sure how to ask it." Arthur turned his gaze to his plate, slowly wiping his mouth. He glanced up just for a second, catching Merlin's eye. "Though I'm sure you'll want to sit down."

 _Oh boy…_

Settling in the chair opposite he waited while Arthur continued to stare at the remains of his breakfast.

"Did it have to be Morgana using her magic throughout the whole ordeal? You couldn't use yours?"

 _Yeah the sitting down was a good idea._

Even now Merlin felt a strong urge to slide to the floor as he fought to steady his breathing. He'd known this was coming soon- after everything they'd been through Arthur would have to have figured it out by now - but that did nothing to stem the panic welling up inside him. Of all the ways the prince could have chosen to address the matter he picked this?

 _It could be worse. He's not yelling. Yet._

Arthur took his silence the wrong way. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said, leaning forward and holding out in hands in what he obviously thought was a reassuring manner. He put them in his lap when Merlin flinched away.

 _I know. If you were going to, you would have started with that._

"I mean it Merlin."

"I said I know."

"You haven't said anything."

 _Oh._

"Well it is little unexpected your just _asking_ me like this. When did you..? How long have you..?"

 _See Arthur? Not speaking is a good thing right now. You know I can't make myself clear_ _when I'm nervous._

Arthur stared at him seemingly unsure of his state of mind (Merlin wasn't too clear on it himself), before he shrugged and answered calmly.

"I had almost convinced myself that you did back after Dagr attacked and I asked you for your um…"

"Loyalty oath?" Merlin supplied, watching the prince suppress a slight cringe. It's what his speech that night had amounted to really, but to acknowledge that openly wasn't exactly smart because...well because. He didn't regret giving it though. A pledge of loyalty was the right of a king and in Merlin's eyes that was what Arthur was. In name if not in fact.

"Was your magic included in that?"

There could only ever be one answer to that question however befuddled his thoughts might be. Or how dangerous the answer was for either of them.

"You asked for everything I had Arthur. And I agreed. My magic is like blood and air to me, I cannot be without it. But its use is on your behalf. Whatever you need, you have only to ask. I was born to serve you and I wouldn't change that for anything. I only wish I'd had the courage to tell you sooner."

"You did," Arthur muttered.

"Pardon?"

"You told me years ago. Me, my father, the whole council."

"Ehh heh right."

 _Forgot about that. Not one of my smartest moves. I owe you for covering for me._

"You tried to tell me again in Ealdor - twice. There've probably been even more times since then. But every opportunity you had, every time I might have accepted it, something happened that gave me the chance to change my mind. Gave me the chance to take comfort in a lie. You may have lacked the courage to tell me the truth but I can hardly blame you for that. Not when I lacked the courage to believe it."

Merlin let out a choked sob that he quickly covered with a cough. Keeping his head down he took several deep breaths to get himself under control. He could fall apart later, right now Arthur deserved his gratitude.

"You listen when it counts," he said once he'd banished the tears from his eyes. Raising his head he smiled a little. "Looking back I'm glad you didn't believe me that day. I wouldn't be here otherwise."

"Perhaps none of us would be."

"Was that a compliment?"

The prince gave him a mock glare. "My point is that you're magic has done far more good than it has harm." He missed Merlin's wince at that adding, "If I let my hurt at being lied to overshadow that fact then I really am a prat. And a clotpole. And a whatever else you can think of."

"Dollophead?"

"I told you that's not a real word."

Merlin chuckled. "And I told you to spend more time with the people. You'd hear it a dozen times a week."

His smile faded as the realization of just how much Arthur tolerated from him sunk in. "You know those aren't all real insults right? I may not act like it but I do respect you."

"Merlin stop! I said I wasn't angry and I'm not. Well not anymore. Now back to my original question, why didn't you just use the staff yourself? If what I suspect is true, you're more powerful than Morgana is. You're strong enough to have wielded it right?"

"Yes but strength and skill are two different things when it comes to magic. And anyway, it just...didn't seem right. Morgana was the one who came to us with the information, I knew she had the ability to use the staff, and it was a good chance for her powers to accomplish something positive. To remind her that her gifts are to help other people. It's a good feeling, knowing your magic has saved someone. Whether anyone acknowledges what you've done or not."

"Is your magic like hers?" Arthur wanted to know.

"I'm not a Seer."

"I meant when it came to getting your magic. You said there are times it comes whether a person wants it or not. Did you choose it?"

Merlin shook his head. "No it chose me. I've learned to control it as best I can over the years but even now most of what I do is instinctive."

Arthur nodded as if his words confirmed a prior conclusion the prince had made. "When did it choose you?"

"My mother told me the first time I opened my eyes they were gold not blue. She was grateful beyond belief that the midwife didn't see. Said the woman probably would have panicked and tried to toss me out in the snow."

All at once the composed royal disappeared and Arthur's expression morphed into the one he'd worn upon first seeing Lady Catrina's true identity.

"Not what you were expecting to hear?"

Arthur gave a helpless sort of shrug. "I knew it had to be before you came to Camelot, but I thought as a teenager, or maybe a little younger. You're saying you could use magic as a baby?"

If it hadn't happened to him Merlin could understand the disbelief. That didn't stop him wanting to laugh at the look on his friend's face. Again a sense of wonder threatened to overwhelm him. In all the times he'd imagined the truth coming out, feelings of laughter and the urge to tease had never entered the picture.

"As I said I had very little control over it but yes. I've been attempting to keep what I can do a secret for as long as I can remember. Mother even longer than that."

"Why?" Arthur sounded genuinely confused. "It's not illegal where you come from."

"That didn't save my father."

Arthur winced and Merlin softened his tone. "That wasn't- I... Sorry."

"Don't be. I never said the law was perfect. Still, it should protect an innocent child from persecution."

 _It should but it doesn't._ Never having been able to really talk about this before Merlin hadn't realized how much resentment he carried over that fact. It took a minute before he was calm enough to explain.

"Legal doesn't mean welcome. And in any event Ealdor's less than 10 miles from the border. The midwife would probably have thought she was being kind. Would've said life would be hard enough for a...an illegitimate child. Didn't need to add being a freak on top of it."

"That's another thing I can't understand. You said if it weren't for my father hunting him, Balinor never would have left your mother. My father is the reason you don't have one. Not to mention.. well, everything else he's done. When I reacted to what Morgause told me about my mother, why did you stop him from dying?"

Relieved at the change of topic Merlin answered quickly. "I didn't stop him from dying. I stopped you from killing him."

"Why?"

"He's your father. You never would have forgiven yourself."

Arthur shook his head. "Once upon a time I might have believed it was just that. But things are never that simple with you. You condemned a sorceress to save Uther Pendragon. What else is involved?"

 _Don't make me talk about this Arthur. Isn't one revelation enough?_

He wasn't going to let it go though. And as much as Merlin didn't want to overwhelm him, Arthur was a grown man. Merlin hated it when Gaius or Kilgharrah tried to spoon feed him the truth, he couldn't ask his king to continue accepting the same.

"You wouldn't be the king you're destined to be if you'd taken the throne with your father's blood on your hands."

"Destined?"

"Don't sneer."

"Merlin if you were told you'd been destined for something as much as I have the word would have no meaning for you either."

"Have you been told you're destined to unite all of Albion? Not the five kingdoms, all of it. To make a home for people of all beliefs and walks of life. To return those with magic to the place they had before Uther repudiated their existence?"

The 'I just saw a troll' face returned. "Can't say they have. Who said that about you?"

"A cranky old dragon amongst several others. And he said it about you. My destiny is to see to it you live long enough to make all that happen."

"Your reason for believing I'll be a great king is because the dragon said so?" Arthur's voice was flat but his face spoke of disappointment.

"That was my reason for about six weeks. Then I had my first glimpse of how far you were willing to go for something simply because it was right."

"And that was?"

"Risk your life and your father's wrath to save my life for the poison I'd drunk. And spend three days in dungeons as punishment for succeeding. Our destiny sounded impossible back then. Even if I didn't believe you were a complete prat after that, I still had to deal with Nimue, Edwin Muirden, Cornelius Sigan, and several others, all of whom made it clear they didn't consider you worthy of my loyalty. Sometimes your actions made it hard to disagree. But knowing the man you could be, and slowly, _slowly_ , seeing the man you've become, it's helped me believe that a world where all people are accepted regardless of their beliefs is possible. That never mind if it's prophesied or not, you can make it possible. Because you'll stop at nothing to do what's right."

Now Arthur's eyes were the ones shining with wonder and gratitude.

"You honestly have that much faith in me?"

"My magic does. Where it leads I follow."

They lapsed into silence after that, Merlin trying to convince himself this wasn't some fever dream his mind had concocted, and Arthur, well Merlin was too distracted to notice what he was doing. Eventually the silence drove the still anxious warlock to his feet. Keeping his hands busy cleaning and organizing gave his over excited mind a chance to calm, allowing him the clarity he needed to listen when next Arthur spoke.

"There was a light," the prince told him. "It showed up in the cave where I found the Mortuis flowers. The sorceress who lead me to them caused the ledge I was standing on to give way and I barely caught hold of another, dropping my torch in the process. She then left me knowing I'd attacked by the giant spiders who lived there. I was hanging by my fingertips, couldn't see a thing and I could hear them coming for me. The light appeared just in time. It distracted the spiders long enough for me to grab one of the flowers and then it guided me as I climbed the wall up to another exit it showed me. Once I was safely out of the cave the light disappeared."

He fell silent looking at Merlin.

"Is there a question in there?"

"If there is can you answer it?"

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck. "Yes and no. Gaius said something once about the fever making me mutter a bunch of words even he didn't understand, and that at one point I had formed a ball of light in my hand. But he was too busy making sure Gwen didn't notice to try to figure out how it was happening. And to be perfectly honest everything from the time I drank from the goblet to a few days into my recovery is either a complete blank or a hazy blur. I do remember surfacing once with a very vague feeling you were in danger so maybe my magic reacted to that and found a way to aid you on it's own, but I couldn't tell you how. I know I've never been able to summon any ball of light on purpose since then. Although it sounds really useful, I should probably try to figure it out."

The sound of Arthur's throat clearing brought him back to the current topic. "Well," the prince said, "that answers another question: How long has Gaius has been aware of your magic?

Merlin swallowed hard, sitting back down. "The day we met I saved his life using magic."

Arthur's surprise was just a shade less obvious this time. "He's been keeping it a secret ever since."

"You've been keeping Morgana's magic a secret."

"Stop being so anxious for me to be angry Merlin. I just find the situation a bit unusual given his actions prior to your arrival. Yes he would _occasionally_ protest my father's executing someone but he never went out of his way to save them or even defend them. Now I find out he's knowingly had a sorcerer living under his roof. He's lied and covered for you for years. I'm not complaining, I just can't help but wonder why you and no one else."

Well there hadn't been _no one_ else but still it was a valid point.

"Why?" Merlin shrugged. "He's old now, maybe he's finally tired of doing nothing. And my mother asked him to look after me. People will do things for family that they'd never do for anyone else. Which," he paused pushing through a fresh wave of anxiety, "brings us to should I tell Morgana? Or rather when should I tell her?"

Arthur clearly had already thought of that as he answered immediately.

"Morgause having made contact with her again is a risk. No matter how good or bad you are with magic nothing good will come from that witch finding out about it. Which could potentially happen based on her reaction. But Merlin, if I can guess the truth on my own Morgana can too. I'm sure you'd rather it come out on your terms not happen by accident or necessity."

Remembering the desperately curious look on her face when she spotted the Shide staff Merlin couldn't help but agree. "And I can't ask her to trust me without being willing to trust her in return." He rubbed a hand across his face. Tears were threatening again, anxious rather than grateful ones this time.

"For what it's worth I think she'll forgive you. Once she's gets over her initial rage she's one of the most understanding people I've ever met."

 _Yes but will I survive that initial rage?_

"Are you all right?" There wasn't a trace of mockery in the question.

 _No I am most decidedly not all right!_

"I'm not against her knowing - although with everything I've been told about how she stands in opposition to your destiny I probably should be. It's just…" He threw up his hands helplessly. "To this day I've never _told_ anyone."

Arthur gave him a sympathetic, if somewhat bewildered, smile. "Do you want to practice with Guinevere? Tell her first?"

 _That is incredibly tempting but…_ "No. Next to you Morgana deserves to be the next one to know. I just need a little time to figure out how I'm going to explain things."

"Alright take some time to think, but tell her sooner rather than later. God knows when the next crisis is going to hit. I don't want this issue distracting anyone a minute longer than necessary, you understand?"

"Yes sire."

* * *

"Are you all right?!"

On the one hand Gaius could tend to be a bit overprotective at times. On the other, walking into a room to see someone gasping into their pillow the way a drowning man would a pocket of air probably would fill anyone with concern.

Taking a long shuddering breath Merlin managed to force himself upright, brushing away his mentor's hands which had immediately started fusing over him.

"Talked to Arthur this morning," he began. "Turns out he's not the oblivious cabbagehead I've been thinking he was. He knows Gaius. About everything."

The old man slowly lowered himself into a chair one hand pressed to his heart.

"Yeah that was my reaction too. But it's okay. He promised he doesn't hate me, and while it'll take some time I think he'll come around to the idea of our destiny. He may even come to embrace it."

"Merlin...I don't know what to say. If what you say is true this is better than we could have ever hoped for."

"It's true Gaius."

"You're sure he's alright with your magic?"

"He took great pains to assure me so."

Gaius gave a happy little laugh then his worry returned."Your mini breakdown just now, that was caused by relief?"

"Ah...that and…"

"And?"

"He may have more or less strongly hinted that he wanted me to tell Morgana before the day is out."

All his mentor's joy transformed into alarm. "Merlin no you mustn't. Not yet. Not while her loyalties are still in question."

"You don't know that they are Gaius."

The physician stood, wringing his hands. "We've been through too much."

"Yes and she's been right there in it with us. But in some ways she still believes herself to be alone, a feeling I am all too familiar with. She deserves to know the truth."

"Eventually yes, but Merlin please think it through. She still refers to Morgause as her sister. As long as that tie is there she could still turn on you, never mind how hard she's working to break away. People will do things for family that they never would otherwise."

Merlin frowned, that statement taking on a different meaning than when he'd used it earlier that day. He stood slowly and looked the man he loved as a father in the eye.

"You're right they will. And that family doesn't have to be related to them by blood. Arthur wants me to tell her so that's what I'm going to do. I'll see you tomorrow Gaius, don't bother waiting up."

He was out the door before the physician could say another word.

* * *

"Merlin?"

The touch of a hand on his shoulder sent the warlock about a foot in the air. Whipping around he just managed to stop his hand from coming up in defense of himself.

"Sir Leon!"

The knight backpedaled a few steps, concern rippling across his face.

"Are you alright?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

Assuming the question was directed at him Leon answered. "Well you are a bit...twitchy."

 _Twitchy is an understatement._

"Did Arthur send you here?" the knight asked.

"Here" being the battlement alongside the knight's quarters. It was typically unoccupied as this time of year training went late into the evening and there were far easier shortcuts around the castle for the servants to use. It was a good place to be alone, Merlin found.

"No. I was on a...personal errand and this is as far as I got. There's something I'm having a problem with and before you say it, I know procrastinating will only make things worse I just-" He sighed and buried his face in his hands.

The hand returned to his shoulder. "You don't have to explain. But is there anything I can do to help?"

"Can you turn back time?"

"How far?"

Merlin's head jerked up to give him a hopeful stare prompting the knight to give an apologetic smile. "Forgive me. Of course I can't."

"Right. Wishful thinking. Basically there is something I need to tell someone. Something that I allowed circumstances to prevent me telling them years ago. I have a good idea what their reaction is going to be and I don't-" he broke off with a frustrated grunt. "I don't know how to give my explanation without it sounding like a pointless excuses."

After an agonizingly silent few minutes Leon answered. "Do you believe it is a pointless excuses or was there a valid reason or reasons why you kept the truth to yourself?"

 _Depends on your point of view._ That answer wouldn't help anything though.

"At the time I thought so without question. Hindsight changes things but in the end I can't get away from the fact there was one very strong motivation for keeping it quiet."

"And is that reason still something you're risking by telling the truth now?"

"Perhaps."

"Then keep it in reserve. When you speak to this person don't start off with your reasons for hiding what you did. Tell the truth to need to tell, apologize if it's appropriate and if you can be sincere about it, then see what happens. If it's as important as you're implying I can almost guarantee you will be asked for an explanation. The ultimate objective is to keep a friend right?"

"Yes."

"Then be honest, be willing to admit you were wrong if indeed you were, but stand firm where you need to. Whether the choices you've made were right or wrong, you have to be at peace with them in your own mind before you'll ever be able to convince anyone else to accept them "

Sending up silent gratitude to whomever might be listening for Sir Leon the Levelheaded's habit of showing up when he was most needed, Merlin thanked the knight and headed to Morgana's chambers. By taking the longest route possible he had time to mull over the conversation he'd just had.

Therefore by the time he reached her wing of the castle an idea had solidified in his mind. It meant taking more than a few risks, and several individuals (not counting Morgana) might kill him for it, but it also exemplified Sir Leon's counsel. Morgana might not accept what she saw, or forgive him for using it as basis for excluding her, but at least it would help her understand where he was coming from in a way his words never could.

* * *

"Talk fast Merlin, I have things to do."

Not the most welcoming attitude but seeing as she'd opened the door for him - literally and figuratively - the least he could do was oblige her.

"I came to say thank you for what you did to help Elena. Or more to the point, for coming to Gaius and me to ask for our help to help her. It showed a lot of trust on your part. It's come to my attention that I need to start showing the same trust to you."

"That would be a first." She retorted sounding only half serious.

He nodded anyway. "You're right. It'll be the first time I've shown this kind of trust in anyone. But for better or worse I'm going to do it."

Taking a minute to center himself he reached out a hand toward the candles on her night table. One whispered word and they lit. Two more and the individual flames lifted themselves from off their waxen supports, spun around the two of them in an elaborate circle, and then settled back in their proper places once again.

With an effort rivaled only by that of keeping back his tears at his father's death, he pulled his gaze from his handiwork to look her in the face. Stunned silence stretched out indefinitely. Before long sweat - far more than the heat of the candle flames was not strong enough to induce - was forming on his brow.

 _She could pass for an effigy as still as she's being._ That was his last thought before Morgana managed to find her voice.

"If I asked you if you just learned how to do that this year what would you say?"

"I would say no."

"If I asked if you come to beg my forgiveness for lying and betraying me this whole time?"

"I'm well aware there is no action on my part that can earn your forgiveness."

Morgana began to pace, speaking aloud but more to herself than to him. "All this time. You refused to say and I couldn't see. I was starting to trust you again, why now- Oh let me guess, Arthur knows now?"

"He does."

"Surprised you had the nerve to tell him," she said coldly.

"I didn't. As I said I've never had the nerve to tell anyone before now. He figured it out on his own."

She arched a disbelieving brow "Arthur?"

He shrugged.

"You've really never told anyone about your magic?" She asked, calmer now despite the hurt building behind her eyes.

"Not once. Everyone who's found out has done so by accident or because I had to use it to save their life. Or end it."

"I honestly don't even know what to say to that. Other than are you expecting me to be afraid for my life right now?"

"No I swear! I'm not expecting anything. Not for you to think that keeping it a secret was right, or that because we have this in common you can suddenly consider me a trusted friend. I'd love to say I hope you'll forgive me one day, but if I didn't know what I know I probably wouldn't forgive me either. But if you believe nothing else, please believe this: All those times when I said I understood what you suffering, every word of that was the truth."

"Arthur didn't know, that's the reason you kept this from me?" She repeated, as if not hearing a word he'd said.

"For the last few months yes."

"And before? Why didn't you tell me before?"

 _Alright Leon, here goes simple honesty._ "I was afraid."

"Afraid!?" The candle flames ignited in response to her emotions, forcing him away from that side of the room. "If you were afraid that should have made you more inclined to tell me not less. You saw how badly I needed help learning and controlling what I could do. You would have been safe with me! If I were like you there would be no reason to betray you to Uther. You know how afraid I was! Now you tell me that fear is something you've lived with?"

"Every hour for 21 years, 6 months and 8 days. But it wasn't fear of you telling Uther that made me keep it a secret."

"Morgause then? Did you hate her already?"

"I knew she wasn't to be trusted. And you have to admit she had her hooks into you long before the sleeping curse."

"Did it ever occur to you that if I'd had _you_ maybe I wouldn't have needed her?"

"Perhaps not. But you can bet she wouldn't have let a convenience slip through her fingers regardless of your attitude toward her. And it's irrelevant really…..I'd made up my mind not to tell you long before she became an issue."

That reply brought her up short. She studied him, reading the truth of what he said in his eyes.

"What made you do that? What could possibly justify keeping this from me?"

There was a long pause as he decided once and for all if he wanted to go through with this. It could reforge their friendship, or it could sever it forever and he didn't know if he could live with that. She was waiting for an answer though, and as overthinking wasn't providing one he'd have to go with his gut.

"If you really want to know, meet me in the clearing outside the city tonight. Wear riding clothes. Warm riding clothes."

* * *

 _50 steps forward, 50 steps back, repeated 16 times plus however many steps it took to get out here…_

The mental arithmetic was doing nothing to calm his nerves but Merlin persisted in it anyway. It was either that or try to decide how to repair the grass field his constant pacing was wearing a trench through. Plopping down on a nearby rock he tried to focus his thoughts.

Night had fallen hours ago and there'd been no sign the king's ward was going to meet with him as agreed. Merlin knew that was no accident. He'd heard Arthur's numerous complaints of Morgana's lack of punctuality but she was always on time when she chose to be. This was a purposeful delay and although he was determined to wait her out, the forced inaction was becoming unbearable.

The sound of footsteps sometime later nearly had him crying tears of relief. Jumped to his aching feet he blinked them back quickly. Giving in to an outburst of emotion would win him no favors with Morgana. She was understanding person as Arthur said - and had always had a kind heart underneath her temper - but she suspected he was in any way trying to take advantage of those qualities he could kiss any hope of reconciliation goodbye. He had to approach this calmly and logically, and try not to give in to whatever guilt she might try bait him with.

This was him putting it all on the table so to speak. Wherever they went after that he could go with a clean conscience.

In the time it took him to compose himself she trudged into view, dressed in the dark trousers and light chainmail tunic she'd worn every time he'd seen her in battle. A heavy woolen cloak was draped over her shoulder, one that he was pleased to see looked thick enough to keep her comfortable where they were going.

She paused on the opposite side of the clearing from him and raised her voice. "Alright I came. Despite my better judgement. Now what could possibly be here that's so you important for me to see?"

"It's not here, we have to travel."

"To where?"

"A valley about 35 or so miles from here."

"35 miles? You'd better have grabbed the stable's fastest horses."

"No. Even they would be too slow for what we need."

"Then what do you propose we use?" She asked sarcastically. "Did you tell me to wear riding clothes only to make me walk for three days straight?

"On the contrary, I have a ride who can get us there in less than an hour."

"Well where is it? Stop wasting my time."

Merlin chuckled. "Believe me, when it comes to time being wasted this fellow is more temperamental than you and Arthur put together. I wanted to be sure you were coming before I fetched him. By your leave?"

She held out her hand as if to say 'be my guest.'

Turning his back on her he reached deep inside to the words he'd called out on instinct months earlier, now letting them escape with all the force of the primal connection forged on his father's deathbed.

"O drakon! E male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!"

 _There, no turning back now._

He had actually considered calling Kilgharrah much earlier but decided against it. Have to explain things before Morgana's arrival would have been trying at best and, as he said, she might have refused to show altogether. The dragon couldn't.

"What was-"

He turned in time to catch her shiver.

"That wasn't magic." She declared, watching him with a wariness that at one time would have broken his heart. Now it only served as a reminder that he had to proceed with caution.

"There are many types of magic in this world. Only a few are accessible by humans. And even then, some are gained through no action of our own. I happen to have one of them, and you'll see the results of it shortly. Fair warning, he's not going to be pleased to see you, and he'll have no qualms about telling you so. But I won't let him harm you."

"I'm perfectly capable of defending myself."

"Not against him you're not."

She was prevented from replying by several blasts of wind rolling their way across the clearing, ebbing and swelling in time with the sound of massive wing beats.

Kilgharrah circled above them twice before setting himself down with an unnecessarily hard impact.

"Why have you summoned me young warlock?" He hissed sharply. "Why do you reveal me to the witch?

"Her name is Morgana and I summoned you because it's too far to reach the cave on horseback tonight."

Kilgharrah's golden eyes narrowed to slits. The dragon knew the destination he had in mind without him having to name it.

"One night in the heart of magic will do nothing to prevent the future."

"I have no desire to prevent the future. I seek to secure it."

"Then you will follow my advice."

"Your advice would cause nothing but pain and ruin, but that is not a subject up for discussion. This time _you_ will do as _I_ tell you."

"Arthur's enemies-"

"Are not for us to decide. It is his destiny, and it is for him to choose who he will share it with. I am to protect him from the threats he can't see or the ones he doesn't have the power to overcome. Anything else I leave it to him. And you will leave it to me. Now will you trust me or do I have to make it an order?"

"The guardian of the crystals will not aid you." Kilgharrah tried, rearing back and peering down at them from his great height.

"I no longer require his aid."

Surprise rippled off the dragon and he grumbled something in the dragon tongue that Merlin didn't quite catch.

 _That's right,_ he thought smugly, _I don't tell you everything._

Leaving the beast to ponder this new revelation of his kin's power, he turned to Morgana who'd been silent as a tomb since Kilgharrah opened his mouth. He spared a moment of concern for her skin white complexion. She'd always been pale of course but the moonlight and her obvious fear combined so as to make her appear almost transparent.

"Will you come with me?" He asked.

A few heartbeats passed before she came unfroze uttering a hollow laugh. "Do I have a choice? You have a dragon."

"In case you're deaf he would very much rather you stay away."

"I am not deaf and I very clearly heard you say you could command him. Your magic can command a dragon! You're far stronger than I could ever hope to be. Whatever it is you want me to see, whether I agree it's worth what you did or not, you have every advantage. You're still demanding my trust and offering none in return."

"You think revealing this to you isn't trust? Think Morgana! A dragon! The only one even heard of in Camelot is the one that attacked after you left. You heard the stories. Do you honestly think such a powerfully magical creature was killed by Arthur poking it with a spear?"

Morgana's color, which had risen during her outburst immediately drained away. "That's the same one?"

Merlin swallowed. "It is. Uther kept him prisoner beneath the castle for 20 years. He called to me my second night in the city. Gave me advice on protecting Camelot for almost two years. Until one time he wouldn't. I had to make him a promise. And I kept that promise. Despite the fact I'd had several very strong hints as to what would happen, I stole one of the swords belong to the knights of Medhir and I released him."

He paused, lowering his voice from the shout it had elevated to. "You wanted an advantage? Now you have one. You come see what I have to show you, and whether or not you agree with it, I give you my word as the last Dragonlord that I'll bring you back to Camelot safely. Even knowing that at any time you could go to Arthur and tell him what happened. For that matter you could go to Uther, or to any of the families of those who died in his attack. You could tell them I'm responsible knowing it would destroy me - more than the memories already do. But gods as my witness you will know just what future you'll be sacrificing if you do."

Turning to Kilgharrah he growled a command for him to crouch down. A command the none too pleased dragon reluctantly complied with. Settling himself atop the beast's neck he looked down at Morgana who'd approached the dragon's side looking fascinated and frightened all at once.

What she saw tonight could make or break their balanced on a knife's edge alliance but he had to take her along. Had to give her a real chance. For Arthur, for Albion, for the chance for both of them to live a life free of regret. Squaring his shoulders he held out his hand to her.

She took it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summery: Merlin knew from experience that glimpsing of the future changed the way a person lived their life. But would the one he'd seen be enough to change Morgana's mind once and for all? Only one way to find out.**

 **I originally intended for most of this to be part of the previous chapter but it was getting waaaaayyyy too long so I cut it off. As such we're still in Merlin's POV for this chapter. Tell me what you think of it please and thank you. Also a virtual cookie to anyone who spots the movie quote in this chapter.**

No matter the circumstances or the dragon's current mood, riding Kilgharrah was always an exhilarating experience. Far and away from any prying eyes Merlin could rid himself of any pretences and relish a tiny taste of freedom. He'd be hard pressed to find a better feeling.

Morgana didn't seem to agree. She spent most of the trip with her face buried in his back, hands clutching at his jacket as if her life depended on it. Given how unnecessarily erratic Kilgharrah's flight pattern was it might have. Merlin had given the dragon a (silent) earful the first two times he'd made a sudden sharp turn that had nearly unseated them, but in the end resorted to using magic to keep the two of them firmly in place. If either of his companions noticed they said nothing.

Kilgharrah refused to land in the valley but he set them down at the edge closest to their destination. Shaking off a chill Merlin dismissed him and lead an unusually silent and rather lightheaded Morgana along the path his feet had memorized weeks earlier.

He'd stumbled on the cave almost by accident when accompanying Arthur on an inspection of one of Camelot's isolated garrisons. The prince had decided to take a shortcut through the Valley of the Fallen Kings on the return home and they'd (inevitably Merlin had griped) been set upon by bandits.

Arthur's sword skills - and a magically prompted rockslide - had allowed them to get away safely, but not without several bumps and cuts not to mention rather terrified horses. The ensuing delay in tending to these setbacks resulted in them having to find shelter for the night whilst still in the area.

During the middle of the night he'd sensed a magical presence reaching out to him and, despite his better judgement, had found himself leaving their protective enclosure and following its call.

Come to think of it, could that have been how Arthur had discovered the truth about his magic? It hadn't escaped Merlin's notice that the prince never actually said just what had finally confirmed his suspicions. He'd been sleeping when Merlin returned that night (at least he'd appeared to be) but he might well have followed him as he snuck away. The cave wouldn't have allowed Arthur entry but even a glimpse inside would make it impossible for him to deny its nature. A nature that was now hitting Morgana full force.

"What is this place?" She asked breathlessly bracing herself against the front wall of the cave.

"The birthplace of all magic." He answered, taking her hand and leading her through the opening.

Immediately upon entering the crystals nearest to him flared to life, bathing them in a brilliant incandescent light.

From the beginning the cave had responded to his magic in a way Talisen (or the image of him) said he hadn't seen in centuries. It had been, for the lack of a better word, dying at that point, having been cut off for more than two decades from anyone with the strength to face what was inside. It seemed now there were two such people.

His thoughts snapped abruptly back to the present at the sound of her gasp.

"Don't!" He half shouted, yanking her away from the crystal formation she'd bent to study. She jumped then shoved him away, narrowly missing his cheek with a swing of her hand.

"Explain yourself!"

"One more second and I wouldn't have had too. You think your nightmares are bad? Be grateful they limit their foreknowledge to events that are imminent. If you open yourself to the magic here and you aren't 100 prepared there is no telling where it'll take you. Or when."

"What could they possibly show-"

"Towers full of screaming roots that tear your mind to pieces. Clouds of magic that flatten whole towns in a single burst. Crowds of barefooted, emaciated prisoners being marched across fields in the dead of winter. Food left to rot on docks guarded by soldiers that won't hesitate to slaughter anyone who dares gets near it!" Chills crept down his spine at the images that burned his mind even weeks later.

Morgana swallowed hard, taking in his shivering frame. "These are things that will happen?"

"Will happen? Could happen? Have already happened? All I know is if you're not careful you'll drive yourself insane. Even during the time magic flourished in this land only a select few were allowed access to this place. Now I understand why. And I've no desire to challenge that safeguard. So if you want to stay give me your word you won't look into any crystal until I tell you it's safe."

She fumed silently for a moment then nodded. "Thanks for the warning!" she added sarcastically.

He blushed but pulled her along, keeping one eye on their luminous surroundings the other on her as he lead the way through the dizzying maze of light and rock to the ring of small crystals he practiced with.

Releasing her he knelt down and held out both hands. With slow even breaths he gradually emptied his mind the way Talisen had taught and let his magic flow out from him. Once it made the connection he sought he focused his thoughts toward the very thing he'd give his life for in a heartbeat.

"Seall dhomh far oh robh dan Artair" His eyes flew open and their burning gold flared back at him for the barest instant before the words took effect.

Beams of blue and white shone out from the crystals, surrounding them with images that painted a picture as clear as if they were standing in the middle of the scene: Sunlight reflecting off Arthur's hair as he bowed his head to receive the king's crown. Thunderous applause bursting forth from a happy court and an even happier kingdom as they watched their beloved leader stand and draw a regal and breathtakingly beautiful Guinevere to her place at his side.

The scenes slowly shifted to take in dozens of children dancing joyfully to the sounds of ethereal music, magically conjured flowers and lights bobbing freely above their heads. Over time magic came to flow free as water in the streets, intertwining with the lives of the people in ways too numerous to count. For all things great and mundane, to the point where at times the very air seemed to glow with golden light.

At last the vision turned to the image that warmed him the most. An image of Arthur, slightly aged but strong as ever, standing on one side of an enormous round table where representatives of every known kingdom were seated. A great scroll was passed from one ruler to another each adding their names to the document. The scroll was then returned to Arthur who read through it one last time before adding his name to the bottom and placing the rolled up scroll in a glass case. A tiny burst of fire from somewhere out of sight sealed the case shut and beaming faces were seen about the room. Deep in his heart Merlin knew they were witnessing the moment Albion was cemented once and for all time.

Slowly, after lingering for minutes or hours Merlin never could tell, the images faded and the crystal's light dimmed. He could have stayed kneeling there until daybreak - had on one occasion - but he came here with a purpose. Time to see if the vision had done what he wanted.

Raising his eyes to Morgana he was cautiously encouraged by the expressions shifting across her face. Bewilderment, wonder, excitement, worry. They finally settled on longing, a longing Merlin felt in the depth of his soul. She wanted what she had seen. The only question was, did she want it as badly as he did?

"That's the future I'm fighting for," he said quietly when she finally turned to look at him. "That's the one I would do anything to see exist. But nothing is certain, not even the visions of magic itself. And the people I trusted were most emphatic that telling you my secret meant dooming that future to come never about. Now was I right to trust them so implicitly? No. Will telling you the truth now mean everything I've worked for will fail? I pray not." Pulling himself to his feet he looked at her seriously. "But you wanted to know what I thought was worth betraying a friend for. Well, there you have it."

She sighed deeply and wiped her eyes, nodding slowly. "I still don't like it. I don't know if I will ever agree with it. But…" she met his eye, "I accept it."

* * *

Sometime later as they took a short walk around a more empty - and therefore less tempting - part of the cave she spoke again.

"This doesn't take back what I said but there is one thing I don't understand. How could you say I would prevent that vision coming true when I was a part of it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I was there. During that last part with everyone at the table you were standing next to Arthur and I...I was standing next to you. One of the other kings was signing the treaty and Arthur leaned over to say something to us. You laughed and I was... we both were… well, the word happy doesn't even begin to cover it but-"

"We get to be a part of that?" He interrupted, unexpected tears pricking at his eyes.

She stared at him. "How many times have you seen that vision?"

"Half a dozen."

"And you've never seen me?"

He swallowed hard. "I've never seen me."

She shook her head in disbelief. "You were all through it. When Arthur crowned Gwen queen, when he knighted her brother, and so much more. I'd have to look again to be sure but I can't think of but maybe once when he was shown and you weren't."

 _Does that mean…?_ Overcome, he sat down hard on the ground.

"Merlin?"

"I...Sorry it just..The first time I didn't even notice I wasn't there. And the second I thought I must have just missed it. But every time I watched after that I concentrated, so much so that I had a splitting headache when it was over. Not a glimpse. Eventually I had to assume I wouldn't be there to see everything Arthur will accomplish. Tried to tell myself it didn't matter just so long as it happened but you can imagine how well that sat. Why would you see us there and not me?"

Whatever answer he expected it was not the one she gave. "Maybe to teach us both that the future doesn't have to turn out the way we think it will. That it isn't fixed or that...that what we fear most doesn't have to come true. That there is hope," her voice faded to a whisper, "even when we don't want to see it."

Humbled and elated he pulled himself together. "What we fear. Funny, no one's ever told me I can acknowledge the future can be terrifying. Even the one I want more than anything. Thank you. That was far wiser than anything Arthur might have said."

She smirked. "That's to be expected given the Pendragon blood he carries. The man doesn't stand a chance against me."

He chuckled and she settled down on a rock next to him.

"How long have you known of this place?"

"About two months now. Spending time with the crystals has helped heal restore their magic and focus mine. The first time I used one of them all I saw was jumbled mess that I still can't remember most of. Practice has helped. I've only made it here a handful of times since then but the persona the cave uses to speak to me says I have a natural affinity for controlling what I see. It'll never equal your gift I'm sure, but until you know how much faith you want to put in what your dreams tell you it's all I have. The last time I used the crystals was right before Godwin and Elena visited. It's why I wasn't too surprised when you came saying something was wrong. I'd caught glimpses of a Sidhe and a blast destroying it. I didn't know when we'd be facing one or why, but when you said it was possessing the princess figuring out what we were going to need didn't take a whole lot of effort."

"That's why you were insistent that _I_ be the one to use the staff to free Elena. You'd seen it."

"No. I saw the staff not who wielded it. I really did trust you that day." He winced at how pleading that sentence sounded. Her mind had already leaped ahead to her next question however.

"That was long after the dragon attacked Camelot. You said you'd seen warnings of that. When?"

"The crystal of Neahtid. When we recovered it Arthur gave it to me, telling me to guard it while he got some sleep. It was formed by this cave and I'd had no training in using my magic to guide what I see. I fought against looking at it for hours but eventually the pull was too strong to resist. It couldn't have been out for more than a minute but that was enough to see Camelot in flames with Kilgharrah flying free above it. I'd already promised to free him someday but I'd been putting it off as long as I could. Finally he refused to help me again until I swore an oath to set him free at the first available opportunity. Before I cut him loose I tried to get a guarantee he'd leave in peace but he said there'd been enough bargaining between us. That really should have been my warning to walk away and never come back."

"It wouldn't have mattered," Morgana spoke up. Her voice was soft, almost contemplative. "An oath sworn to a follower of the old religion is as good as unbreakable. And the longer you avoided fulfilling it, the greater his anger would have been. The more people who would have suffered."

"Maybe. But the deaths that did happen are still on my head."

"Did you order him to attack Camelot?"

"No-"

"Then from where I stand the deaths are on his head."

"You're sitting."

She glared at him, the barest hint of a laugh behind it, before continuing without acknowledging his comment. "And anyway if Arthur didn't kill him then you must have been the one to stop his attack. When did you learn to command a dragon?"

A sigh escaped him at her question. He'd shared the story of his father's death twice now, first with his mother and then with Arthur. It hadn't been any less painful the second time. Nor was it any less so now. But she listened quietly and aside from a snide "so Uther's record of leaving children orphaned or at least parentless continues to grow" her sentiments in response to his tale had been both sympathetic and practical.

"I was only 10 when my father died." She admitted after he'd finished.

"Mmm. What happened?"

"He was sent into battle against an opposing army that was far bigger and more powerful than the one he led. When word of the threat first came my father tried to convince him to sue for peace instead. He knew that Camelot would never win with the amount of troops at their disposal but the king wouldn't listen. Uther ordered him to go and promised reinforcements wouldn't be far behind. The reinforcements never got there." He made a noise of dismay and she smiled sadly. "From what I hear my father was one of the last to fall. He died heading off an ambush that would have slaughtered the few remaining men he had with him."

"I'm sorry."

She raised an eyebrow.

"That's not how people normally react. Aren't you going to say he died a hero? That I should be proud?"

Merlin shook his head barely suppressing a bitter chuckle. "No one can tell you how you should feel about the death of someone you love. It's a blow nothing can soften. Whether a father dies protecting the men he'd fought with for years or the son he'd known less than two days it doesn't make it any easier to handle. Death makes equals not heroes. If I'm going to be proud of someone, it'll be for the way they lived, not the way they died."

"Are you proud of the way you've lived?"

He returned the eyebrow raise. "Are you?"

A defiant expression tried to spring up on her face but it faded almost immediately. "Ask me again in a year."

"Agreed." He got to his feet. "Come on, if we want to be back in Camelot before dawn we need to get going."

"Will - Kilgharrah was it?" He nodded. "He'll be there to fly us back?"

"I've already called to him, he'll be waiting where he dropped us off."

"How did you call him?" she asked, following him back toward the exit. "I didn't hear you say a word."

"Mind speech," he answered shortly. "Magic users can use it to speak to each other. At least across short distances. I haven't tested exactly how far the ability can extend."

She gave him a dumbfounded look and he was tempted to ask just what exactly Morgause had taught her over her year long absence. Her magic was still weak, he knew that, but she had great potential. And he knew Cenred had been around at least part of the time the sisters were plotting and scheming. Surely Morgause would have found having such a private way to communicate advantageous? He kept the thought to himself however. Tonight had gone better than he could have imagined, no need to blow it now with a combative - or at the very least insensitive - question.

Kilgharrah didn't make so much as a grunt as they climbed onto him and he took off smoothly, gaining altitude at a far more sedate pace than before. Perhaps seeing them both emerge from the cave alive and conversing amicably had given him pause for thought. At any rate not having to split his attention between his companions gave Merlin time to formulate some other questions.

"Did you see yourself in any other part of the vision besides the end?" he finally asked.

Morgana looked up from where she'd been cautiously peeking out at their surroundings to answer. "A few. One time I stopped in the middle of a crowd to speak to a family, a young man and a young woman with a baby. I gave him a hug and it felt...bittersweet. As if I were saying goodbye and while I was happy for them, I knew I would probably never see them again. And I think…" she cocked her head thoughtfully, "I can't be sure but I'd swear the young man was Mordred."

Try as he might he couldn't stop the stiffness that took hold of him at hearing that name. He forced himself to relax moments later but given their proximity it was impossible for Morgana not to have noticed. She touched his shoulder and he couldn't help but wonder when was the last time she thought of laying a hand on him for any other purpose then sticking a knife between his ribs.

"You risked everything to save him once. What do you have against him now?"

"He's dest- no. No, you're right."

"About?"

"What we fear about the future doesn't have to come true."

 _People can choose their own path if they try hard enough, I have to believe that._

* * *

It was deep in the night's darkest hour when they touched down once again. Merlin slipped off Kilgharrah quickly then turned to aid a very stiff Morgana to the ground. He issued a silent thank you to the dragon who gave a deep bow of his head before answering.

 _I hope you understand that I am exaggerating my subservience Young Warlock. It does the witch good to be reminded there are powers greater than she is. Yours are impressing her at the moment, but trusting her is still a risk._

 _Trusting you was a risk._ Merlin replied tartly. _One that tragically backfired on me. But I gave you another chance. How can I do any less for her?_

Kilgharrah hummed but Merlin sensed his reluctant acceptance of that. He turned to see Morgana staring at him, clearly unhappy at being excluded from the conversation.

"If this keeps happening I might just get annoyed."

"Keep your temper reserved for those who deserve it Young Witch. Morgause is not done trying to destroy all the Once and Future King wishes to build. And she will try to use the both of you to accomplish her plans. You must both be alert, she could strike at anytime."

With that the dragon took to the sky and was out of sight in the blink of an eye.

"Cheerful isn't he?"

Merlin snorted. "You get used to him."

* * *

Remembering Kilgharrah's words about Morgana he figured it couldn't hurt to "impress" her just a bit more as they endeavored to sneak into the castle unnoticed. He was subtle about it. A blown out torch here, a creaky flagstone there, all the while moving at a pace just slow enough to let her keep up with his much longer stride.

Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to be showing off just how much skill he'd been hiding this early in their truce but Morgana wasn't getting angry. In fact she seemed to enjoy the ease with which he slipped them in and out of the shadows, causing magical distractions for the guards without uttering a word.

They at last reached the bottom of the back staircase leading to the royal wing and agreed to separate least any of the chamber guards get any ideas about seeing them both out this late.

"Thank you for coming with me." He whispered as they were about to part.

"Oh yes well," she looked away briefly, "it was an experience. Gave me something to good to think about at least. Turning Morgause away feels as if I'm turning all my hope away with her. Or at least it did feel that way. Now I know things could turn out for the better, even if she doesn't. So thank you for that."

He tempered his smile with an effort as he accepted her gratitude. At last things were truly looking up. The threat Morgause brought was still worrisome. But perhaps he could rest a little easier given that now he knew for certain that she no longer had a way

of getting at Camelot from the inside. With a bow far more sincere than he'd ever given to Arthur he turned to go.

"Merlin," she called seconds later.

"Yes My Lady?"

He looked back and she cleared her throat slightly awkward. "I truly don't know how long it will take for us to be friends again. But your secrets are safe with me. All of them."

* * *

An urgent knock sounded at the door of Gaius chambers a few days later. Standing, Merlin moved to open it just as Morgana (apparently having decided a delay of 5 seconds was unbearable) pushed her way inside nearly knocking him over in the process. She startled at his proximity but her expression quickly morphed into one of relief.

"I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Oh yes well you can thank Gaius for that! I've been unofficially confined to my chambers. When I don't 'absolutely have to' be with Arthur I'm to be here working on whatever task he can come up with. The more unpleasant the better," he added picking pond scum from beneath his nails.

"He's punishing you for helping me?"

"That's part of it but other things have been building too. Let's just say I finally understand what having a falling out with a parent feels like."

"Have you told Arthur what he's doing?"

"What can he do? Besides he's plenty mad at me himself. Apparently someone told him you left the palace the other night and when Gaius told him I was gone as well - deliberately not explaining what I was doing I might add - you can imagine what he might have assumed."

"Didn't you explain?!"

"Yes. At first he didn't want to listen, and now he's in a 'I'd fix it but that would mean I'd have to admit I overreacted and I'm too stubborn to do that' mood."

Her look of horror morphed into a scowl. "Just when I thought he might actually be developing a brain. Don't worry I'll set him straight."

"I would appreciate that. Now is there something I can do for you?

She shook herself. "Right yes, here."

She held out the box he'd seen tucked under her arm when she walked in. It was made from dark polished wood and had the emblem of the House of Gorlois carved into the top of it.

"It was waiting in my chambers when I got back from my ride this morning. Gwen swore no one delivered anything while I was gone and I could sense a...an aftermath of magic around it, if that makes sense?"

She looked genuinely questioning and her trust warmed him inside. It would have felt even better if it weren't for the implications of the box's existence.

"Morgause sent it to you?"

"I can only assume. I certainly can't think of anyone else who would have. Certainly not with the way it just appeared."

He took the box from her and examined it carefully. "It's sealed shut."

She made a frustrated noise. "Magically sealed shut. I tried to open it once but it didn't budge. I thought before I tried again... maybe I should get a second opinion."

He put the box down, thinking hard. The hum of magic inside it pulsed through to him loud and clear. That meant whatever it was Morgause no doubt intended it to cause trouble. And she'd sent it to her sister which meant she still thought of Morgana as a useful ally. But she'd made it impossible for her to open, so either she'd overestimated Morgana's skill with magic (which seemed unlikely) or she planned to release the seal herself whenever it was time to set her plot in motion. That meant time was of the utmost importance.

 _We need to know what we're dealing with before anything else._

"Alright, I'm going to try to open it."

Morgana bit her lip. "Are you sure? It could be dangerous."

"I'm counting on it. Which is why we're going to stand over there while I do it."

Setting the box on the floor the two of them retreated to doorway of his room. It took three attempts but the box finally split open, releasing a puff of smoke and an odor worse than any brew even a colossally angry Gaius could create. Through the haze he caught sight of a small dark shape twitching faintly inside the foul container. Gesturing for Morgana to stay back he took two steps forward when suddenly the object turned and flew straight at him.

Blinding pain coursed through his body stopping him dead in his tracks. A scream rang out, and then everything went dark.

* * *

" **Seall dhomh far oh robh dan Artair" (according to Google Translate) is Scottish Gaelic for "Show me Arthur's destiny"**


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary: Arthur's accepted that his enemies will go to extraordinary lengths to cause him trouble. Sending a magical creature to attack his closest friend however is one step too far. But can he use the painful truth that attack brings to light to strengthen their bond of loyalty?**

 **WARNING for ATTEMPTED DROWNING in this chapter.**

* * *

"Run through it one more time," Arthur directed, barely containing his annoyance.

He'd been cramming all his duties for the last three days and had finally scored a few hours free. Guinevere had brought him lunch, filling in for Merlin who was busy suffering under his mentor's version of house arrest, and he'd just persuaded her to stay and dine with him when a palace guard had burst in anxiously summoning him to Gaius' chambers.

They'd arrived to find Merlin lying unconscious on the patient cot with a nasty bruise on his head. At first he'd thought the idiot had just fallen and knocked himself out but that didn't explain Morgana's anxiousness and Gaius' protective expression.

"Morgause sent me a box that was sealed with magic stronger than I could break. I was nervous about what that might mean so I brought it to Merlin. He told me to get out of the way and then he opened it. When he did there was smoke and a noxious odor and then some...creature flew at him. He writhed in pain for a moment then collapsed. I didn't know what to do so I flagged down two guards and sent one to find Gaius and the other one to fetch you. You know the rest."

With a sigh Arthur turned to where Gaius was examining his ward, a mystified look on his face.

"Will he be alright Gaius?"

"It appears the creature has embedded itself at the base of his skull. For what purpose, at this moment I cannot say."

"Can you remove it?"

"Certainly sire, but without knowing the nature of creature I fear doing so may cause more harm than good."

"It can't be any worse than leaving it in. Morgana can you tell what it's doing?" Gaius started to speak but silenced himself at Arthur's gesture. Being a prince did have some advantages.

Morgana chewed her lip, fidgety in a way Arthur hadn't seen in years. At last she moved forward hesitantly and laid a hand on Merlin's neck. Immediately she flinched back as if stung.

"Get it out Gaius!

"What is it?" Arthur wrapped an arm around her, feeling her tremble uncontrollably. "What did you feel?"

"Darkness. Malevolence. A deliberate intention to harm although I don't know who or how. He's trying to fight it but it's hurting him. Badly. And the longer it stays inside him the more it will continue to."

Moving at a speed that defied his age Gaius grabbed a handful of vials off the table and mixed up a clear liquid that he smeared on the back of Merlin's neck. He then took a blade and made a long thin incision in the skin. Parting it carefully he used a pair of tweezers to remove what looked like an abnormally large worm that he then hastily held over the fire. A screech pierced the air then the creature went limp. Gaius grabbed an empty jar and carefully put the charred remains inside.

"Dear god, what is that thing?"

The old man seemed deaf to the question as he moved to the table and began searching through a stack of books sitting on it.

A groan came from the cot pulling everyone's attention toward the sound. Merlin's eyes were open but they appeared glazed and unfocused as he glanced around the crowded room. All at once memory seemed to return and he shot upright, only to nearly topple ungracefully to the floor.

Gauis hurried forward to steady him but Arthur got there first. Grabbing his wrists Arthur found them alarmingly warm and clammy, as if Merlin were fighting a fever, and his servant's eyes were squinting despite the low light of the room.

"How do you feel my boy?" The physician asked.

"Like I'm on fire from the inside out. The last thing I remember-". Merlin pushed them off and leaned forward, anxiously looking for Morgana. "Are you alright?" He asked urgently.

"I'm fine." She squeezed past Arthur and sat on the side of the cot. "I'm so sorry, I swear I didn't know what was in the box. If I'd known it was an attack I never would have brought it to you."

"I believe you."

"You...you do?"

 _You do?_

Considering the circumstances Arthur wouldn't blame him for wondering if this attack was some kind of carefully orchestrated revenge. But if that was the case why would Morgana immediately send for help? And she was clearly frightened by what she has sensed from the creature. Arthur pushed the question aside. If Merlin was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, he should do no less.

Withdrawing his hand from hers Merlin carefully got to his feet, touching his neck gingerly. He moved over to the table and made a sour face at the carcass sitting on it. "Don't tell me that thing was inside me." He commented to Gaius who'd returned to his reading.

"Afraid so."

"What for?"

"That's what I intend to find out. It would help if everyone would clear out. And Merlin sit down before you fall down."

The young man complied, partially Arthur observed, because his legs folded under him and gave him no choice. With some minor swaying he managed to straddle one of the benches and started skimming through a volume Gaius had discarded.

"That's it?" Morgana blurted out.

Arthur seconded her surprise. "You know you just got attacked right?"

"No, strangely enough I thought this was Morgause's way of giving me a hug." There was a dark humor in Merlin's eyes as he looked up at them. "I'll give her one back, you can be sure of that. But until then I'm more concerned with what her motive was. We find out what this creature does, we may find our answer. But to do that we need peace and quiet. So unless anyone else has a question please do as Gaius asked and leave."

They were on the verge of complying when Guinevere raised her hand tentatively. "This may be the wrong time to ask this Merlin, but getting back to the box the creature was in, why did Morgana..? That is...if it was magically sealed, why did she think you could open it when she couldn't?"

Four people in the room simultaneously slapped their foreheads.

* * *

A delicate knock sounded on the door pulling Arthur from a series of rather depressing thoughts.

"Come in."

The door opened halfway and Guinevere poked her head in. Smiling, Arthur waved her inside and pulled her into his arms.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright," she said. "With what Merlin told me I mean."

"I'm fine," he answered, resting his cheek against the top of her head. "I already knew. We talked it out days ago. Actually I was the one who told him I knew about his magic. Are you sure you're alright with it? I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner."

She shook her head. "It wasn't your secret. I understand. And I understand why he didn't say anything either. If Morgana feared for her life having magic in Camelot I can't imagine what it must have been like for him. To reveal something like that...it wouldn't matter how much you trusted the other person. I am glad I know now though. And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. What with all the times he would disappear, and by the time he got back hopeless situations suddenly wouldn't be hopeless anymore. It's a wonder I didn't realize before, especially once I'd gotten used to what Morgana can do. The only thing I can't understand is why would he want to be here? I mean I know how many lives he's saved recently and maybe that's enough for him. But if it were me? Call me a coward but I can't imagine what could make him stay."

"I would never call you a coward," Arthur vowed, holding her closer. "As for why he's stayed," he sighed, unsure if his pride could take sharing the answer with anyone - especially Guinevere. "That probably has something to do with me."

She pulled back and looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"I hate to admit this - and if you tell him I did I'll deny it - but it seems his life saving skills have been put to use on my behalf for years now. I wouldn't have lived through the majority of the threats I've faced if he hadn't used his magic to save me."

"And you had no idea?"

"Yes and no. I'd had my suspicions someone was looking out for me for a long time. Granted I never imagined it was Merlin of all people, but it wasn't a complete surprise when I witnessed the truth." He chuckled with quiet disbelief. "I can't help but think of my father's assumption my continued survival was due to the work of my personal guardian angel. It would seem he was right, although I doubt he'd appreciate the irony of the situation."

"You mean seeing as how he's the one who made Merlin your servant in the first place? That he entrusted your care to the one thing he sought most to destroy?"

Arthur laughed again to himself. _If Merlin's right about the so called destiny we're involved in then destiny has a rather twisted sense of humor._

"How's Morgana?" He asked to get his thoughts away from that line of reasoning.

Guinevere sighed a troubled expression on her face. "I'm worried about her. Half of her is torn with guilt because of what happened to Merlin and the other half is convinced this snake thing was after her. She won't stop talking about 'What if Merlin wasn't there. What if I'd gotten that box open myself.' And I can't tell her she's wrong because I have no idea if she is."

"You think Morgause wanted to attack her own sister?"

"It's possible. At least Morgana thinks so and she would know better than we would. She's trying to hide it but I know it's upsetting her."

"Do me a favor then?"

"Anything."

"Don't leave her alone. Or at least don't be far away. I'll come visit after I find some way to head off whatever rumors may have started from this. The last thing we need is for my father to hear of them."

She nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you then."

* * *

The question of the witch's motive was still gnawing at Arthur as he dressed for training the next day.

"You're very quiet." Merlin observed, passing him his belt.

"I'm thinking," Arthur told him. He took the lack of sarcastic remark as a sign of attention and voiced his concern aloud. "Why would Morgause send a magical creature to attack Morgana? Gaius said the creature allowed some sort of mind control, but to what end would she want to use something like that? Morgana's convinced she was the intended target but I'm lost as to why." A few moments of silence passed. "This is meant to be a conversation Merlin. You're allowed to contribute."

"You're the genius prince," came the muffled reply. "Can't see why you'd want my help."

"Fish for compliments some other time Merlin, we need answers. Fast. With both of us working on it we have a better chance of finding them. You know, two heads are better than one."

"I don't know, one of them is still yours."

"Hang on!"

Merlin turned from where he was digging in the wardrobe and flashed him a grin. "You're just sore I said it first."

Arthur thumped him on the head for appearance's sake but in truth he was relieved his servant's good humor had returned. The prince hadn't seen him give a genuine smile in days. Of course with all the stress caused by Morgana, Gaius, and now this, perhaps that was understandable. Either way he was glad to see the surly mood was gone. This would be hard enough to discuss without having to tiptoe around hurt feelings.

Cheerful expression fading, Merlin continued. "The Fomorrah - that's what it's called by the way - would allow the high priestesses to control the minds of their victims yes. If Morgause thought Morgana was having second thoughts about working with her she might do something like this to guarantee she kept her spy within Camelot's walls."

"Why now though? Morgana blew her off the last time they talked yes, but she has fits of temper like that with everyone. Didn't mean she would refuse to ever work with her again."

Merlin shrugged, looking strangely bored by the conversation. "I suppose it depends on how desperate she was to learn whatever it is she wanted to know. I mean you said Gaius removed the snake's head from me without difficulty. Morgause could have done the same for Morgana. She could probably even enchant her to not remember a thing. Like she did with the sleeping curse."

That made an uncomfortable amount of sense. Morgana had full access to the palace and was the one closest to Arthur in many ways. Few would think twice about her obtaining sensitive information, and being under Morgause control would override any natural reluctance she would have about sharing what she knew. And once the snake was removed she wouldn't even be aware of her treason. Her actions _might_ raise questions but none that couldn't be explained away.

He chewed over the matter for a while longer, tuning out whatever commotion was going on behind him while he weighed bits of information Morgana might have and their possible value to an enemy like Morgause. It wasn't until a beam of full sunlight reflected off his armor and into his eyes that he remembered where it was he was supposed to be just then.

"Maybe you should-"

"Hold that thought Merlin, I'm going to be late. Hand me my- thank you." Plucking his sword from Merlin's outstretched hand he scrambled to the door, ignoring the frustrated muttering he heard from behind him.

* * *

When he finally made it back to his chamber, mind and body begging for a little peace and quiet, he found Merlin standing in the middle of the room preparing a bath.

"I thought I gave you the afternoon off."

"Gaius is home," Merlin replied grouchily.

"So?"

"So I'm done being that old man's drudge. Five minutes in his clutches and I'll be stinking twice as much as you currently do."

Arthur lifted his arm, giving it a cautious sniff. His training session had been far from vigorous, his only sparring partners being Sirs Edric and Gavin both of whom were just coming off injuries. Their fights were little more than basic exercise, slow and short, and anyway he'd changed his shirt before dining with the king. Uther hadn't complained about an odor why would Merlin mention it now? Unless this was just his idea of a practical joke.

"Thanks for the offer but I'll pass for now. Push the tub behind the screen, I'll use it later if I need too."

"Morgana gave Gwen the evening off. She said something about asking the three of us to have dinner at her house. Surely you want to look your best for that?"

"Of course, but that's hours away. Right now I have work to do."

Merlin crossed his arms in front of his chest. "So all the work I just did for you - without being asked I might add - is worth nothing now?"

"Oh come on. How much work does it really take to fill a tub with water?" Merlin gave him a nasty look and drew in a breath to begin what Arthur was sure was the biggest lecture he'd ever received. Hurriedly he withdrew the question.

"If you wait any longer it'll be a waste anyway. Now come here and make sure the temperature is how you like it."

"I'm sure it's fine," Arthur countered, still trying to get a read on his friend's mood.

"Would you just check?"

"Why?"

"Because if you get in and it's wrong I'll get a bucketful of icy water thrown in my face and I really don't fancy that happening today."

That stung. Surely Merlin believed him better than that by now? "I wouldn't-

"But you have. Multiple times."

"I hardly think twice counts as multiple. And anyway if it's wrong can't you just fix it?"

"Sure. I could take an hour to haul up twelve more buckets of water and then spend another one ensuring I have enough wood to make the fire hot enough and then-"

"That's not what I meant."

"Do you know another way to heat a bath? Oh wait, no you don't. 'Cause you've never done it."

 _What is with him today?_ "You're being very strange."

"I've always been strange. You ignore it because thinking too much makes your head hurt."

 _This conversation is making my head hurt._ Unfortunately if there was anything Merlin might excel at more than magic it would be not stopping talking. _The faster you get it over with the faster he'll be out of your hair._

"I'll have it now on one condition." Merlin raised an expectant brow. "You leave once I'm done and send someone else to take care of cleaning up."

"I can-"

"No," Arthur cut him off. "It's that or nothing."

With an irritated glare Merlin finally nodded and moved to the corner of the room to fetch a clean towel.

While the other man's back was turned Arthur leaned over the tub and trailed his fingers in the water, smiling a little to himself as he did so. What Merlin was so worried for he had no idea. The temperature was perfect, same as it always was. Merlin might play dumb (and right now that was probably a good idea) but there was only one way he could maintain such consistency in a task. And that was just fine. As much as the idea of bathing in magically heated bathwater would have made him shudder just a few short months ago, if the idiot was willing to use his powerful and still highly illegal skills to make Arthur's day just a little bit easier - especially when he'd had such a rough week himself - then the prince had no right to complain.

Just as he turned to offer thanks a heavy weight slammed full force into his back, knocking him off balance and sending him face first into the tub.

His cry of pain was immediately muffled by the rush of water entering his mouth. Pressure concentrated on the back of his head, grinding his cheek and ear into the wood of the tub. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he'd been trained for this sort of thing but the strong scent of soap and liquid blocking up his nose and throat quickly caused disorientation, rendering his usually well coordinated fighting skills all but useless. Soon the pain of burning lungs was all that was keeping him consciousness and even then he barely noticed the weight being lifted off of him and the arms pulling him upright.

How long he half sat, half lay expelling bath water in heaving gasps was anyone's guess. When his body finally remembered inhaling was as necessary to life as exhaling was, his mind slowly begin trying to sort out what on earth had just happened. Opening his eyes to give it a hand, he wasn't at all reassured by what he saw.

Merlin was out cold on the floor, water soaking his sleeves and the front of his tunic, a fact that was probably significant but his brain skipped over it at first. Gaius was kneeling on the floor behind Merlin, doing something to him Arthur didn't want to guess. Morgana was standing with an empty pitcher in one hand and the other tugging at her hair. Lastly Guinevere had come to sit at Arthur's side, and was gently draping a towel around his shoulders.

"What happened?" he croaked, trying to shift closer to his fallen friend.

"Shh," Guinevere pulled him back. "Just breathe, we'll explain in a minute."

He leaned his head against her as he watched Gaius remove another dark snake from Merlin's neck, this time throwing it into the fire to burn up completely. The physician then pressed a cloth over the incision and stuck a strong smelling stick under Merlin's nose making him squirm and gag as he returned to consciousness.

"Why does my head feel like it lost a battle with a mace?" the warlock groaned to no one in particular.

"Change mace to pitcher and that would be true." Morgana answered.

"You enjoyed that," Gaius accused.

"A smidge."

"Why?" Merlin asked her.

"We had to knock you out to get the Fomorrah out." Gaius quickly answered.

"Oh. What's a Fomorrah?"

"The snake creature in your neck."

"But you already took that out." Merlin protested, half a second before Arthur could. "We were trying to find out what it was and I kept dozing off. You made me some soup and sent me to bed."

"Yes and we found the name of the creature this morning. You found it."

"And you told me about it." Arthur croaked.

Merlin glanced back and forth between them, poorly disguised fear creeping into his expression. "I don't remember any of that."

"You don't remember helping me get ready for training? Or making...making me a bath?"

"No." Merlin looked down at their sopping wet clothes. "Seems I didn't do a very good job."

"Oh it would have done the job right enough."

" _Morgana!"_ Gwen hissed.

"What is she talking about?" Merlin asked making no effort to hide the tremble in his voice.

"This was caused by the mind control," Arthur hurriedly gasped out, praying he was right.

"I'm afraid it's all my fault," Gaius apologized. To him or Merlin, Arthur wasn't sure. "It would seem mind control is a bit of an understatement. I've discovered that when the priestesses would summon the Fomorrah they would implant it with a single thought which in turn was planted in the mind of its victim. The person was then unrelenting in carrying out that command. Nothing short of their death or the creature's destruction would stop them. It would seem in this instance Morgause has ordered your death Sire. And chosen Merlin to carry it out."

The longer Gaius talked the more Merlin curled in on himself, anger and self loathing painted across his face. He was blaming himself for this and Arthur didn't know how to comfort him. To have control of your mind taken away like that and be forced to act against your every natural instinct, he couldn't imagine it. For that kind of violation to happen to anyone was despicable. For it to happen to Merlin was unforgivable.

"Merlin," Arthur paused, coughs seizing him once more, "it wasn't you. Don't worry, alright? I trust you. Anyone who knew you would know you could never hurt me. You're my friend, and you're a lousy choice for an assassin."

Merlin shuddered and blinked back the tears in his eyes. He gave Arthur a falsely bright smile.

"I'm a lousy choice for a servant too but I can at least get you dry clothes."

"No don't worry." Guinevere stood to block his path. "I'll do it."

Merlin stared hard at her then looked at Arthur who had his hand up in a pacifying motion. To the prince's horror the tears returned to the younger man's eyes. Resigned ones this time. "Right…" he choked. "I...I'm sorry. I never should have…I'll just..."

Cursing himself, Arthur scrambled to his feet barely in time to catch hold of the fleeing servant. Later he wouldn't know if the action was prompted by the devastation and terror on his friend's face over what had just happened, relief he was alive mingling with a determination to keep Merlin that way, or the fact he was just plain too strung out to care, but the next thing Arthur knew he had his arms locked around the other man's shoulders, pulling him in for a tight hug. Well half a hug anyway. Merlin didn't lift his arms to return it though after a momentary stiffness he did lean in to him, still murmuring apologies somewhere in the direction of Arthur's collarbone.

The prince let him pull away after less than a minute but kept a hand on his shoulder while they both tried to reign in their emotions. A quick glance around the room showed he wasn't the only one upset. Gaius had put on the blank expression he used whenever he deeply disapproved of something, Morgana looked sick and angry, and Guinevere was doing a poor job hiding the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Shoving his feelings aside Arthur tried to focus their attention. "Well, killing Merlin is absolutely not an option. So how do we destroy the creature for good Gaius?"

"Creatures of this sort are usually dependent upon a mother beast. As long as it remains in existence, it's offshoots will continue to heal. Or in the case of the Fomorrah, regrow where they were originally placed. Usually within 24 hours."

"How do we locate the mother beast?"

"I'm working on finding a way of tracking it down, but with only limited texts on the subject it will take time."

"Then you'd best get going."

"As you say sire."

"I can help," Merlin said, pulling away from Arthur only to drop to one knee clutching his head in his hands.

"You are not doing anything right now," Arthur declared, lifting him up by the arm. "Go on Gaius, we'll get him to you later."

With one last squeeze of his ward's hand Gaius left. After pausing a moment to whisper something in Merlin's ear Guinevere followed after him.

"I can get back on my own," Merlin insisted, trying and failing to get his arm free.

"No you don't," Arthur pushed him into a chair. "You're staying where I can make sure you're alright."

"If anyone can make sure I'm alright it's Gaius. And you heard him, the Fomorrah won't stay gone longer than a day. The further I stay away from you, the less danger you'll be in."

"I'm hardly in danger Merlin."

"Oh sure you always sit on your face in the bathtub. How could I forget a little thing like that?" The attempt at humor died away as Merlin wiped a hand across his sweaty face. He shivered violently and Morgana held out a hand to the fire boosting its warmth. He smiled gratefully at her and leaned his head against the back of the chair.

Arthur sat across from him and spoke in a low tone. "Merlin you're not going to hurt me. Whatever this thing might be trying to force you to do, you're strong enough to resist it."

"I appreciate the confidence Arthur but how can you be sure of that?"

"Because of your magic. As much as it pains me to admit it, I don't stand a chance against that. If you're really supposed to stop at nothing to see me dead, why didn't you use it?"

"He's right," Morgana spoke up. "When you were first attacked I used my magic to see if removing the creature would hurt you. I sensed your magic fighting against it."

"It's still fighting." Arthur forced a playful smile. "I mean, even if you weren't in your right mind why would you ever try to use something as uncertain as drowning to try to kill me?"

"True, there are far better ways," Morgana supplied.

Merlin winced and Arthur gave her an unimpressed look. "Not helping."

"Spoilsport."

Merlin held up his hands. "Morgause doesn't know I have magic. Maybe the snake can't make me use it. Either way given the resources he has to work with I fear it'll take too long for Gaius to find the mother beast."

"Don't be such a fatalist."

"I am not-"

"Who else could we ask for help in finding it?" Morgana interrupted.

"I'm not sure. Camelot isn't exactly a fountain of magical resources."

"What about Kilgharrah?

Merlin made a face. "Maybe, but I demanded his help less than a week ago. He'll be mighty surly if I do it again. And anyway I don't like relying on him a lot."

"I'd rather not rely on him at all." Arthur spoke up, indignation flaring inside him as he recognized who they were speaking of.

"He's our best chance," Morgana snapped at him.

"Have you forgotten he's responsible for the deaths of innocent people?"

"So is everyone in this room!"

Confusion turned to dread as Arthur glanced at Merlin. The other man said nothing, he just sat still looking tense and incomprehensibly sad. In that moment answers to questions he'd ignored months ago finally clicked and Arthur understood that while Merlin may have entrusted him with some of his biggest secrets - not that he'd had a choice in some cases - there was far more his servant was responsible for that he hadn't shared. At least not with him.

"You knew?" He questioned the woman he loved as a sister. "You knew he released that monster and you didn't think to tell me?"

Merlin's eyes flashed briefly but he said nothing in answer to the accusation. If anything his posture slumped even more. As Arthur watched that same deep sadness slowly crept into Morgana's expression and she reached for his servant's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"What was that story we were once told about the people who lived in the glass house? The more damage they tried to inflict on other people's lives the more they heaped on themselves. It was only when they let go and forgave that they were able to heal. Are you really going to let your anger at what the dragon did condemn Merlin to the Fomorrah's influence a second longer than you have to?"

Arthur's anger promptly melted under the force of the protective instinct that comment ignited. She was right, with all his sins he was the last person who ought to be passing judgement like this. Especially without knowing what all was involved in Merlin's decision. "No, of course not. I-"

"Then there is nothing more to be said. Get your clothes changed and meet me at the stables. Where do you think you're going?" She added to Merlin who was struggling to get to his feet.

"You can't go without me. Who's going to call him?"

"I will."

Worn out as he was nothing could stop Merlin's eyebrow from expressing itself. "You are not a dragonlord," his voice added.

"I'll use the mind speaking magic."

"The other night you didn't even know there was such a thing. Now you think you can use it?"

"I'm a quick study."

"Where did you even find something to study?"

"I'll show you when this is over. Let's go Arthur."

Feeling out of the loop and thoroughly annoyed about it, Arthur nonetheless grabbed Merlin by the collar and dragged him into the antechamber. Pushing him down on the cot the warlock had set up the last time Arthur had a bad chest cold, the prince ordered him to get some rest. Merlin put up some token resistance but was soon deeply asleep. Pressing the back of his hand against the younger man's brow Arthur couldn't hold back a worried frown at the increasing heat he felt there.

They were running out of time.

* * *

"And once he'd made that oath he couldn't ever break it?"

Morgana shook her head sadly. "He could have continued to put it off, possibly for years, but it wouldn't have changed anything. Sooner or later he would have had to follow through, either by choice or by something forcing his hand." She looked at him for a long moment. "You have to admit given everything he's done for you, you really shouldn't stay angry at him about this."

"I know I shouldn't," Arthur sighed. "I'm really not. Much. I just wish he was well enough to talk about it."

"We get Kilgharrah to help us destroy the Fomorrah and you two can yell at each other to your heart's content."

"Merlin doesn't yell at me."

"Perhaps he should."

His horse rearing back in alarm as they broke through the treeline prevented Arthur from countering that statement. He wrestled the animal down and held it still with an effort, looking around wildly for the source of its fear.

It wasn't long before he noticed the source of many a nightmare filled night staring back at him and all his anger returned. Merlin didn't get a share of it this time oh no, this time it was reserved solely for the enormous beast crouching in front of them.

"About time you showed up." The dragon growled and Arthur about jumped out of his skin.

 _You knew he could talk. Pull yourself together._

"No one expected you to be here," Morgana answered the dragon for him. She dismounted and strode toward Kilgharrah with a confidence Arthur couldn't even begin to fake. "I was planning to call you when we arrived."

"You would have been disappointed. But that is of no consequence, I arrived at this clearing hours ago."

"How?" Arthur found his voice as he approached them. "Merlin claims he ordered you away after your attack. And that you were to stay gone on pain of death. He said the only thing that would allow you to act contrary to that command was him calling for you using his power as a Dragonlord."

"That is correct," the dragon answered and if Arthur hadn't been privately training not to be intimidated by angry looks since he was six years old he would have been terrified by the expression on its face. Instead he drew a breath of relief. At least Merlin hadn't lied ( _or misunderstood,_ some part of his mind that wasn't angry supplied) when it came to that part of his actions.

"Then how did you cross the border?"

Kilgharrah shifted his massive weight from side to side. Arthur was tempted to say his demeanor was scared, or at the very least extremely agitated. That thought was by no means reassuring.

"He is the last Dragonlord, I am the last dragon. We do not need to be near one another to be connected. I am constantly aware of his presence and have been since the night he claimed his father's inheritance. Therefore I was immediately informed of his current distress. His magic cries out for my aid. From the dawn of our bond with mankind no dragon has been able to resist such a cry. Do you really think a simple banishment would be enough to keep me from providing succor for him?"

Arthur had no answer for that.

"Now tell me, what is the darkness I sense has befallen the last of my kin?"

That he did. Quickly and concisely Arthur filled the dragon in, Morgana adding additional explanations as needed.

"A Fomorroh," the dragon repeated gravely. "I feared I sensed one's introduction into the world. To breed such a creature would tax even the power of a high priestess. This is about more than revenge. Your death would destroy Uther. And Merlin's execution would leave Camelot vulnerable. Creating the perfect opportunity to set another on the throne."

"That won't happen."

The dragon swung his head to meet Morgana's determined expression. "You do not wish to be queen?"

She hesitated. "A year ago perhaps. Now I have a different future in mind. But if we want a chance at any future we need your help. Gaius is searching for a way to locate the mother beast. But he has almost no resources and we don't know how long Merlin will be able to fight the Fomorrah's influence. If you can sense where it is you can lead us there. We can destroy it in no time. Will you help us?"

"I will do as you ask for Merlin's sake." He gave Arthur a pointed look. "And for the sake of all who would be nothing without him."

* * *

"You're not keeping me away."

"It's too risky. It'll take more than a day to reach our destination and neither Morgana nor I have the skill to remove the next regrowth. Besides, you said yourself the further you stay away from me the better."

That sentence probably would have carried more weight if Merlin weren't currently curled up in one of Arthur's blankets and sitting in a chair by his fire, but Arthur sold it the best he could.

His servant was decidedly unimpressed. "While you were gone Gaius made up a sedative for me to use."

"How is your falling asleep going to help?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "To use on the Fomorroh. A mixture of Henbane, Lactucarium, White Poppy, Paraldehyde, and a whole bunch of other stuff. A few drops on the back of my neck will knock it right out. It'll last all day, my magic won't be occupied combating the creature, and I can focus my energy on other things."

"That's all to the good Merlin, but we don't know what proximity to the mother beast will do to the... appendage... of it that's inside you."

"I'll bring the sedative with me. It's safe to apply as often as I think necessary. But whatever risk remains doesn't change the fact that you'll need me."

"If you start to lose control in the middle of the fight-"

"Who says there's going to be a fight? Kilgharrah said there was no sign of Morgause in the ruin where the Fomorrah is being kept. He even promised to stay nearby as a backup." Merlin looked at Morgana curiously. "He almost sounded concerned about me. Just what did you say to him?"

"Merlin!"

"My point is, if we're cautious and time it right Morgause won't even know we were there."

"IF. It's a big if. I don't want to count on her not showing up."

"The fact you're admitting there is a chance she might just proves there's no way I'm letting you go without me."

Arthur bit his lip to stop a roar of frustration.

"Morgana?"

"Leave me out of this Arthur."

"You have to have an opinion."

"I do."

"Well?"

"You're not going to like it," she singsonged.

"Tell me anyway," he answered in kind, then mentally kicked himself at the sound of Merlin's stifled chuckle.

Looking for all the world like she'd rather be anywhere else but there, Morgana sighed. "If it's a choice between risking what happens with him and risking facing Morgause just the two of us…" She met his eye. "It's no choice at all."

* * *

Despite what Merlin might think, Arthur was capable of packing his own belongings. And whatever irritation he might feel at being forced to do so was soothed by the satisfaction he'd gained in kicking his manservant and pseudo sister out of his room.

Actually it hadn't been completely satisfying given the smirks they'd been trying to hide as they left. Yes, he was mad they'd won the argument. Yes, he was having a bit of a childish reaction to the fact. But they didn't have to look so stupidly pleased about it.

He abandoned his grumbling as someone pushed on his half open door.

"Ah Father, I was just about to come speak to you."

"Morgana claims she's punishing you by making you take her on a private hunting trip?" Uther queried, a frown visible on his brow.

"I wouldn't classify it as punishment Father. She said if she won a wager we made the other day than I would have to take her on my next hunting trip. And unfortunately, win she did."

"I was not aware Morgana was fond of hunting."

"I believe she intends to extend the competition and try to see who can return with a better trophy."

The king's expression cleared. "I shall be curious to see if she succeeds."

 _I shall be highly disappointed if you lose again._ Arthur mentally translated. "Well, if you've no objections we shall leave at once."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Two, perhaps three days. Unless Morgana insists otherwise. I shall abide by her wishes."

"You won't be going alone I hope. Given the present unrest it's not advisable for you both to be outside the walls of the citadel unaccompanied."

 _There would be no unrest if it weren't for you turning the citadel into a fortress from which to terrorize the common people from. Never showing yourself but to announce another restriction you've decided to impose._ Forcing the treasonous thoughts from his head Arthur smiled politely.

"My servant is accompanying us but if it would ease your mind I'll include another knight in the party as well."

Uther nodded. "Make it Sir Leon. I know he can be trusted to do as you say."

Arthur hated to pull Leon away on such short notice. The knight had was already doing the duty of five thanks to Uther's insistence on sending their most capable, mature, knights out to investigate all manner of rumors regarding suspected magic use in the kingdom, no matter how far away it took them or how dubious the stories of magic were. Still, he'd lost that particular argument before and had no time to start another one now. He nodded acknowledgement and that seemed to satisfy the king. Wishing his son luck Uther left and Arthur sent a servant to carry a note to his First Knight.

Thank heavens Leon was a quick packer.

* * *

"Did Sir Leon buy the hunting story?" Merlin murmured in a low tone.

"I told him Gaius was treating someone who was suffering from a magically induced illness and we were 'hunting' down the cause of it."

Merlin nodded in approval. "All of which is the truth but is vague enough to allow him to claim plausible ignorance should something go wrong. Well done."

"Glad you approve of my skills in weaving an only semi bogus story. They'll never rival yours of course."

The minute the words were out Arthur regretted them. It wasn't fair to act like Merlin was the reason he was involved in a world of half truths and insincerity. He'd been exposed to that since birth. Just because in the past he'd never had to fear any real consequences for his lies and evasions (someone else - usually Merlin - had always borne the brunt of those) didn't make them any less serious than the ones he was giving now.

All this passed through his mind in seconds as Merlin gave him a side eyed look. "I pray your life is never subjected to such constant terror that it becomes necessary for them to rival mine."

Arthur sighed at that. "You're afraid all the time?"

Merlin hummed noncommittally. "So much that I'm rarely afraid at all."

"Are you afraid right now?"

"My knuckles aren't turning white just to have something to do."

"What are-?"

"Oh just ask already!"

The outburst drew backward glances from the riders ahead of them. Merlin ignored them and Arthur hastily pasted on a reassuring smile. Leon accepted it with a nod and Morgana rolled her eyes, giving him a hard glare before resuming her conversation with the knight.

A few hundred yards passed in silence before Arthur quietly asked, "I just want to know if you knew he'd attack the city." He tried to keep his tone neutral but Merlin flinched anyway.

"I had an idea he might," he finally answered, "but by that point I was out of options."

"Morgana said you'd sworn him an oath."

"On my mother's life."

"I see. You swore your oath to me using the same."

"Yes I did. And I'll keep my word to you as I have to him, come what may. Are you going to betray me like he did?"

The question hit Arthur square in the gut. He hadn't seriously thought about the situation from that angle. Even before the Fomorroh's appearance, Merlin was fighting against what many would say his natural instinct should be. He'd shown unwavering loyalty to a man who only a few short years ago would have slain him on sight. And for little to no acknowledgement much less reward.

If he were honest with himself, Arthur had to admit he hadn't exactly gone out of his way to treat his servant with anything more than decency - and even that was a stretch at times. What had he given Merlin that remotely equaled the devotion he'd been shown? Had he even promised to keep Merlin's secret? He didn't think he had, not in words at least. Perhaps the other man considered it a given that he would considering they'd conversed civilly on the subject and Arthur had already pledged to protect Morgana. But knowing something wasn't the same as hearing it directly from the subject in question.

"No," he answered, holding Merlin's gaze and speaking quietly but firmly, "I won't. Fate may have made you my protector. But I defy it to say I can't also be yours in return."

Merlin's lips quirked, he nodded once, and the subject was closed.

* * *

The strength the midday sun had them all breathing a sigh of relief when Morgause hideaway finally came into view. A respite from the heat beating down on them was considered more than worth braving the dangers concealed within it.

Securing the horses well out of sight of the ruin's entrance they crept cautiously inside. The building had certainly seen better days but there was enough left to protect what was inside from the elements, and it was large enough that finding what they sought would take time. Eyes and magic alert for traps they moved slowly from doorway to doorway searching for a place useful for concealing something like the Fomorrah.

A full hour later the search had been narrowed down to the most probable room when Merlin abruptly tensed, sharing a worried look with Morgana who grabbed Arthur's wrist in warning. His sword was halfway out of its sheath when the entrance to the keep swung open.

Morgause, her mind clearly elsewhere, stepped through the opening and stopped dead in her tracks, blinking rapidly at the sight of them. She closed the door slowly and stood facing it for a count of three. Then she turned around and, seeing they were still there, put her head to the side and gave a little sigh.

"Well I must say this is unexpected."

* * *

 **For those interested: Lactucarium is the dried juice of the wild lettuce,** _ **Lactuca virosa**_ **. It's been used as a mild sedative for centuries, however there is little to no modern scientific evidence that shows it works as such. Paraldehyde wasn't actually used until the 1880's but I thought it sounded cool. It's still in use today but more in the treatment of epilepsy than as a straight sedative. Henbane was used for a lot of things including sedation. Same goes for White Poppy which is another name for Opium.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Summery: They came to destroy the mother beast and nothing else, but Morgana can't just let the opportunity to confront her sister go unused. As usual she gets more than she bargained for.**

 **Note:** _ **Italics = Thoughts / "Italics in quotes" =**_ **Mind Speech**

* * *

"I expected you sooner or later Sister. Although your present company is something of a surprise. Are you a prisoner or are they my little gift?"

"Neither," Morgana answered, red crowding the corners of her vision as she watched Morgause saunter down the steps to where she stood. "But I'm not opposed to returning the gift you tried to give me."

The blond woman frowned - almost convincingly. "You did not find my gesture of devotion appealing?"

"I wasn't aware that sending a magical creature to enslave me into murdering one of my closest allies was your definition of appealing."

The older woman visibly started. "Tell me it was not you the Fomorrah attacked Sister."

"If but for some instinctive distrust it would have been. No, instead another was sentenced to my fate."

Morgause followed her younger sister's quivering finger as she pointed at Merlin, who was glaring at the blonde witch, every line of his body tense and waiting for action. She returned the glare with a smirk.

"Then despite the fact you refused to listen to my instructions, all has proceeded exactly as I planned. Why is that a problem? For that matter," she spun her neck to look at Arthur, "how are you still alive?"

"How could you be so sure Merlin would be the one infected?" Morgana quickly insisted, hoping to pull the other woman back to herself. The last thing they wanted her finding out was that the Fomorrah was only dormant not destroyed.

Morgause sighed, passing a critical eye over the men in the room. Apparently deciding dealing with them could wait she explained, "We both know how difficult he is. I knew if he got so much as a hint of you receiving something from me he'd have to stick his nose into it. I enchanted the box so that if someone attempted to force open it without magic it would release the Fomorrah immediately. Since you're all here I can only assume that is what happened."

"You used me to get to him."

"You've only yourself to blame for your surprise. I would have explained all this when you came to me about that possessed princess. Had you not run off on your foolish-"

"Successful."

"- attempt to free her from Sidhe influence all would have been settled well in advance. I arranged this for your benefit you know. Arthur is an obstacle to your ascension to the throne. Since you seemed so reluctant to kill him however I decided why not get his oh so loyal serving boy to do it for you.

"I would wait until a suitable public display could be arranged so Uther would have no doubt as to the identity of his son's killer. His execution would be carried out immediately, and that would be that. I'd be rid of an irritant, and you'd no longer be forced into contact with the man who poisoned you. Then, after a suitable amount of time had passed, and Uther had had no other choice but to proclaim you as his heir, he would be quietly and permanently put out of the picture."

" _You used me to get to him_!" Morgana repeated, willing the sense of betrayal to come across to the other woman. "He didn't stick his nose into anything, I took the box to him. I couldn't open it and I was _afraid_! He came to my aid, and he protected me. The Fomorrah came straight for both of us and if he hadn't been in the way I would have been the one infected. Arthur could have died by my hand. How would your little plan have worked then? I'm of no use to you if I'm dead."

"Oh please Uther would never destroy proof of his triumph."

Silence reigned as Morgause eyes darted about the room, her expression clearly searching for a way to change the subject. Her words my have been an unintentional slip of the tongue, but Morgana wasn't about to let her get away without an explanation.

"His triumph?"

Recovering herself, her sister pasted on a disgusted sneer. "His back up plan. The child he sired as proof that for all his faults, sterility wasn't one of them."

"Sterility? What are you talking about?"

"I realize your education in such things is limited my dear, but the fact is that as much as men are quick to blame an empty womb on their wives it is equally likely to be their own fault. The longer Uther went without an heir the more his enemies within Camelot gained an advantage. They would be only too happy to see the usurper king's lineage die with him. He was desperate to ensure that didn't happen so when an opportunity presented itself in the form of the lonely and frightened wife of his best friend, he didn't hesitate to take advantage of it. You were the result. Who knows? Had you been a boy perhaps the throne would already be yours. Perhaps he never would have felt the need to force an heir by his queen."

White noise rushed in, drowning out Arthur's angry reply to that accusation.

 _It's not not true, it can't be._ But then yes, yes it could. It's the kind of thing Uther would do and her father, or Gorlois _...No. Father he was, and Father he always will be. But..how did he…? How could my mother…?_

Logic and emotion warred for dominance inside her sucking her into a void where she felt so much she felt nothing at all. Who knows how long she would have drifted in that numbness if it weren't for a persistent buzz in the back of her mind.

" _Morgana"_

 _Ygraine was her friend. At least she always said they were friends. She wouldn't…_ But Morgause would never slander their mother that way. Or make Morgana believe Gorlois had suffered such a betrayal without it being true.

" _Morgana."_

It's not like she didn't know Morgana hated Uther as it was. To this day she hadn't believed it was possible to hate her guardian - or any person for that matter - any more than she already did.

 _Now though..._

" _MORGANA!"_

Emp...who..what? _"Who is this?"_

" _It's Merlin. I've been calling to you for ages!"_

Oh. This would be the mind speech he was talking about. It wasn't at all like she expected.

" _So sorry."_ She said, testing her ability to reply. _"It's not every day a family revelation turns your life upside down. I'm a little busy processing."_

" _You're going to be processing being an only child if we don't break the two of them up soon."_

The comment jolted her back to the world around her. Arthur had moved to stand in front of her facing Morgause, his sword gripped tightly in his hand. She couldn't see his face but the anger in his voice told her all she really needed to know about how he was feeling.

"-knew she was part of our family this whole time!"

"Of course I knew," Morgause answered. "I knew long before I knew she still lived."

"You didn't think that was something she should know?!"

"It wasn't important."

"The fact I have a brother isn't important?!" Morgana broke in.

Both blondes - _both my siblings_ she thought - paused their shouting match to blink at her, as if just remembering she was there. Morgause recovered first.

"Compared to the fact you live unacknowledged and unappreciated in a place that was always meant to be yours to do with as you please? My plan will see that wrong corrected. With the Pendragons dead and a few other minor details seen to you will be free to rule the kingdom as it should be ruled!"

"And will I really be the one ruling? Or will I just be another monarch for you to dangle from your puppet strings? How long till you're named _my_ heir? How long until another _accident_ happens?"

"Surely you don't think I'd -"

"You tell me you plan to see all Pendragons dead immediately after telling me that by birth I am one! What am I supposed to think?"

"I told you so you would know your claim to the throne is a legitimate one. So that you would have no qualms about ridding the kingdom of all that stands in your way of gaining control over it. When Uther is dead we will make it clear to the people they have two choices. They can bow to you as their rightful sovereign or join their upstart prince in death."

It took everything Morgana had not to laugh. She knew backpedaling when she heard it. Morgause facade was cracking and she was scrambling not to let her sister see what was really going on below the surface. The kind of person she truly was.

Merlin's comment from that night in the cells all those months ago trickled through her mind: _She's just the latest in a long line of self-absorbed egomaniacs who saw you as an instrument of Camelot's destruction._

That's all she was to the woman in front of her. Not a sister, not an ally, just a tool. A means to her own power. The thought should have been devastating. Instead it served as the clarity she desperately needed in that moment.

" _Merlin?"_ She called tentatively.

" _I'm here."_

" _Magic and all?"_

" _Most definitely."_

" _We need to get rid of the mother beast. Do you think you can get to it?_

" _No problem."_

" _I'll distract her then. Once it's destroyed I... we can..."_

 _"Mother beast first, got it. Tell me when to move."_

" _Now's as good a time as any."_

She felt rather than heard his acknowledgement along with a burst of unconditional support as she stepped up to Arthur's side and looked Morgause square in the eye.

"If you were truly devoted to me you never would have forced me to return to Camelot knowing what I was capable of. If my magic had been discovered by anyone other than Arthur, then my life would have been forfeit. Daughter or no daughter Uther would not allow me to be who I am. He would kill me for my magic. Or at the very least try to take it away from me, in which case I would rather die anyway."

"It broke my heart to send you back." Morgause asserted. "I regret every minute you've spent in that man's clutches. Father was beginning to get suspicious of Uther's demands in relation to you. If he had lived through that last battle he would have revoked the king's guardianship and taken both of us far away from here. We could have been the family we deserved to be.

"When he died I made it my mission to do what he couldn't. As soon as I was old enough to live on my own I started devising ways to free you from Uther. I was committed to doing all the work myself until I saw how capable you are, and how much you'd been scared and scarred by 12 years under a Pendragon roof. You needed vengeance and I -" She stopped as the whole room's attention was seized by the appearance of a cloud of flame and a blood curdling scream.

Merlin appeared out of nowhere, straightening up and taking his hands off his knees. He looked short of breath, as if the magic he'd just used had taken a lot out of him. Or perhaps the Fomorrah's destruction had been unexpectedly painful. Either way Morgana felt an odd burst of pride as he lifted his chin and spoke without any trace of hesitation.

"She's not the only one looking for retribution."

Morgause stared at the shards of glass and ashes scattered across the floor. "How on earth could you...?" A look of understanding and horror crossed her face. "You have magic!"

Merlin snorted. "Congratulations you're not blind. Oh, wait a minute, yes you are."

"What are you talking about?"

He rolled his shoulders slowly and took a few steps forward. "If protecting Morgana, protecting magic, is truly your cause then you must be aware of how things are changing. Magic isn't safe in Camelot - not by a long shot - but it's the safest it's been since the purge began. No one's been executed for the use of sorcery in months. The druids go unmolested. Even arrests have been minimal despite Uther's best efforts. And those that have been held under suspicion of the use of magic? They have either been cleared of all charges by proof the person bringing them was lying or, in the cases where Uther refused to listen to reason, they have vanished from the cells before their sentence has even been announced much less carried out. Why do you think that is?"

"They've escaped."

"Yes they have."

"What does that have to do with me being blind?"

 _Those words alone show everyone you're blind._ Morgana thought. Merlin looked like he shared her opinion. He started moving closer again.

"We are talking about the kingdom that slaughtered sorcerers for over 20 years. Why are they suddenly unable to do it now?"

"Doubtless because more than half the so called sorcerers they claim to have slaughtered held little to no actual magical ability."

"Very true. And the same can be said for those imprisoned since Morgana's return." He stopped arms length from the witch. "But they were freed and no one had to die to accomplish that. You don't have to become evil in order to defeat it. Your sister's learned that. You can too."

Arthur tightened his grip on his sword. "Merlin what are you doing?"

The warlock held up a hand to silence the prince, still keeping his gaze aimed at Morgause. "I know you were raised by women who had every reason to hate the Camelot Uther created. But if hatred was all they taught then they failed you. It doesn't have to be like this."

For a few heartbeats it looked like his words might have made an impact, then Morgause face resumed it's sneer. "They didn't teach me hate, they taught me justice. And a far kinder justice than Uther believes in. He demands the payment of a thousand lives. I'm only asking for one."

"Two. And one second life has already been claimed by one with far more authority than you. Seems that was another failing of the priestesses. Not teaching you what happens when you try to take something that belongs to someone else."

" _Morgana if you ever trusted me please close your eyes."_

She barely had time to heed his warning before the magic burst from him like waves crashing home on the shoreline.

"Bregdan anweald gafeluec!"

Heat from spell induced flames bombarded her from her left side followed by the sounds of ringing metal and a cry of pain. Seconds later she heard Arthur's voice cry, "Merlin look out!"

Her eyes shot open reflexively to see the dark haired man throw up his hands to meet Morgause attack. Her fireballs glanced off the golden shield he erected. A flick of the wrist and the shield expanded to well, shield, the rest of them as well.

Face contorted with rage Morgause began a desperate chant. Wind began whipping around her stronger than any natural wind that could exist indoors. Morgana's heart picked up speed, she knew that spell.

"She's escaping!" She shouted, trying to make herself heard over the noise of the wind.

"Gewican ge stanas!"

Cracks formed across the ceiling of the keep in response to Merlin's command, and soon a torrent of stones were raining down upon where they were standing. Just as they made contact with the ground a dim flash shone through the falling debris and Morgana knew it was too late. Sure enough, as the dust cleared there was no sign of the blond woman.

A string of frustrated curses erupted from Merlin's lips as he stared at the empty floor in front of him. He turned away angrily yanking a hand through his hair.

Arthur reached over and rubbed his shoulder in commiseration, though he couldn't seem to find anything to say, before stooping to collect his sword from where Merlin's spell had left it lying on the ground. The blade was still surrounded by a wispy blue smoke, and he carefully wiped away the blood coating it's edge.

 _Not enough there to have caused a fatal wound,_ Morgana thought. Whether she was relieved or saddened by that thought she couldn't decide.

A cough echoed through the room silencing Merlin's self censure and making her tense in alarm. The three of them slowly turned to face Sir Leon who was scratching his beard and looking between her and Merlin with a stunned but surprisingly thoughtful look on his face. That alone should have been reassuring but her agitated mind wasn't in a state to decipher the minutiae of facial expressions.

 _I can't take much more of this. Will I ever stop being afraid of people finding out?_

Arthur wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders and shifted to where he was between Merlin and the knight.

"Leon feel free to say whatever you like," the prince said. "Just know that they wouldn't have allowed you to see this if they didn't think they could trust you."

 _I trust him?_

It was true though. A lot had been said during the last hour, any of which would risk her life if it were repeated. Granted up until the end both her and Merlin had been doing more reacting than thinking. Still they were powerful enough to have knocked Leon out rather than risk him witnessing what they could do. Her worries weren't immediately soothed by that revelation. It would be Arthur's word against his if the knight attempted to make an accusation stick against them, but that didn't mean he couldn't try. _And with Uther the way he is right now..._

The fear must have shown on her face as Leon finally shook himself out of his stupor and gave her a kind, if embarrassed, smile.

"Well alright then. Not quite what I was expecting. I knew there was something, at least...gah." Leon's face scrunched up comically. "If I may beg your forgiveness my lord, I feel I should have guessed. And my apologies to you Lady Morgana, Merlin," he nodded to each of them in turn. "You should have been able to rely on my aid before now. And my silence. Please believe me when you say you have it now."

Morgana arched a surprised brow. "Just like that?"

"Well to be perfectly honest it'll take some getting used too. But as Arthur can attest, it's been a long time since I've had any personal objections to magic."

Astonished, her eyes met Arthur's who nodded in confirmation. Glancing at Merlin she found him looking pleased but still cautious. Knowing he had as much to lose - if not more - as she did, she waited until he gathered himself enough to nod as well before she spoke.

"Thank you Sir Leon. We'll try not to rely on your aid more often than necessary. I must apologize as well, that there was ever a need for us to request you silence. I would not ask you to divide your loyalty if it were not quite literally a matter of life or death."

Leon bowed his head solemnly. "I beg you, have no fear of my loyalty. It is and always will be with those whose actions have earned it."

A choked sound escaped Arthur and he dropped his arm from around her. Picking his way through the debris in his path the prince raced toward the stairs leading outside.

"Arthur?"

Merlin moved to follow but Morgana grabbed his arm, holding him back.

"Morgana-"

"I know," she interrupted. "I'll see what's wrong. You two stay here and see what else Morgause may have been using to plot our downfall."

He clearly wasn't sure about letting her go alone but the need to work on both problems at the same time eventually overrode his caution and he moved back toward the room the Fomorrah had been in. Leon gave her an appreciative look and followed him.

Arthur himself was nowhere to be found as she exited the ruin. Fortunately his trail was (unusually) obvious and she navigated it with ease, worry hounding her as her every step led further and further away from the others who were no doubt full of worry themselves. At last she spotted him some distance off from the makeshift path, sitting on a fallen log with his arms wrapped around his knees, body shaking with violent tremors that were visible even from where she was.

Picking up her skirts she rushed toward him, mind running wild with fears he was afflicted with anything from a secret injury to some other type of possession. She skidded to a stop just out of arm's reach not wanting to accidentally startle him into an attack.

"Arthur?" she called softly. No response. The shaking had eased up but she could hear the rapid hisses that accompanied every breath he took. Crouching in front of him she grabbed both his hands. "Arthur! Are you alright? Whatever it is, it's ok. It's going to be ok. Please just breathe. If this is about what Morgause said, I know it's a lot to take in. I'm terrified too, believe me but I promise I won't hurt you. I don't want the throne, I don't. And we'll catch her. I'll even promise to stop her killing Uther if you-"

"I'll kill him first."

"-want. You'll do what?"

Arthur finally lifted his head and she had to choke back a gasp at the emotion reflected in his eyes. Her brother wasn't panicked, he was furious.

"He lied to me." The words were spat out with a malevolence that made her shiver. "He looked me in the eye and he _swore_ he loved her. That he would never do _anything_ to hurt her. I believed him! I spared his life and I have spent months refusing the call of the throne because I wanted to spare him pain. And now? Now I find out his idea of love didn't preclude bedding another woman to satisfy his ego. Right under my mother's nose!"

 _Oh, of course._ She hated that she hadn't connected that part of it before now. She was older than Arthur by almost a year. That would mean Uther tricked her mother into bearing his child while the queen still lived. _Did Ygraine know about me?_ Before she could speak though Arthur continued, his voice tired and sad.

"I've done everything he's asked. I've hurt so many people. Just so that magic would never hurt anyone else like it hurt him. I've known it was wrong for a long time. That one life wasn't worth hundreds no matter who that person was. But I still believed he acted how he did because he loved her and his grief at her loss tore him apart. But now I know I was wrong. And if I was wrong about his love for her, how do I know I'm not wrong about his claim it wasn't his decision that resulted in her death? How do I know it wasn't all his fault? How do I live with myself if it was?"

Blinking back tears she leaned in close to him. "You did what you thought was best with the information you had. Just as Merlin did, just as I've done. You weren't the only one deceived."

"I should have been able to see my father was nothing but a lying hypocrite."

"I should have been able to see my sister was nothing but a scheming, power hungry, double crosser."

Arthur said nothing. After a moment he stood and began pacing. She let him be for a while until the silence became overwhelming.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out. He met her gaze, confusion in his tear filled eyes. "I'm sorry I ever involved you in this. I'm sorry I wasn't enough. I'm sorry I wasn't the son he wanted. Your mother might not have-"

"Hey, hey hey, no." He gathered her in his arms and drew her to his chest as she fought to control herself. She shouldn't be doing this. He needed her comfort not the other way around.

"I'm sorry." she whispered again.

"Listen. My mother died giving birth to _me_. It's taken me a long, long time but I've finally, almost, accepted that that wasn't my fault. And if I wasn't to blame, you certainly aren't. A child is not responsible for their parent's crimes." He let out a long exhale. "We'll figure this out. I don't know what laws I'll have to exploit or how much force I'll have to apply, but my father's reign is over. And this is the one and only time I'll say this, but I know my reign won't be anywhere near as good as it can be if you don't have a part in it."

He pulled back a little and smiled at her. "Whatever comes of this, I am glad I have a sister."

She returned the smile and pushed up on her toes to kiss his damp cheek. "And I'm glad I have a brother."

* * *

 _I have a brother._ The thought repeated itself every step of their ride home. _I have a BROTHER._

Why did that matter so much? She'd never particularly wanted a brother. And even if she had, the Arthur she'd grown up with was not who she would have chosen.

"You could have worse you know."

Merlin's comment made her jump. She hadn't even noticed him move up next to her.

"Are you reading my mind now?"

"No. But I can read your expression. You've hardly taken your eyes off Arthur for longer than a minute."

"I'm worried about him," she said dropping her voice to a whisper. "He was so angry when I found him I really...he acted like he was going to kill Uther. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but as much as I want Uther gone…"

"You know what it would do to Arthur's heart if he murdered his own father." Merlin finished. He sounded as if he'd faced that exact dilemma before. Knowing what she did about him now, she wouldn't be surprised if he had.

"We'll keep an eye out," Merlin decided. "But he's not as impulsive as he used to be. By the time we get back to Camelot I don't think he'll be so eager to convene an execution."

"He will be looking for a way to become king though. To dethrone Uther once and for all. He'll need our support for that."

"He'll have it. Ours, the knights, the people. I can think of some of the nobles who will be an issue, and maybe Godwin and a few of the other rulers." He trailed off and she could see his mind beginning to spin with all the steps they'd need to take, and this was before they even had a solid place to start. She soon found herself having to take deep breaths to calm her rising nerves.

 _It's alright. You're not alone and you're doing this for the right reasons. The more we think about this the less Arthur will have to._

"At least he knows I won't challenge him for the throne." She told him, for something to say.

The comment snapped Merlin out of his musings. "That's good. Did you ever want to rule?" He added some minutes later.

She opened her mouth to give a quick denial then closed it again.

"Yes and no." She answered at last. "Morgause brought up making me queen a few times and at first I thought, 'great I can finally fix things' but I don't think I was ever fully comfortable with the idea. With Uther gone I was confident I could do what's best for the people. But whether I were the rightful heir or not Arthur would never abdicate to me, so if I were to take the throne it would mean someone put him out of the picture. And I guess even when she'd convinced me he was nothing but an exact copy of his father some deep down buried part of my mind could never accept that.

"And now," a smile tugged at her mouth, "now I can't get that vision out of my head. Magic was free. _Arthur_ freed it. And whatever my role was I perfectly content with it. If being that happy means letting Arthur and Gwen rule, so be it."

His smile in response was brighter than she'd ever seen.

They were both silent for a time then she tentatively ventured, "Morgause? I heard the spell and I saw the sword but do you think she'll…?"

Merlin scowled. "If I'd been just a little faster I might actually been able to end her. On anyone else just the sword would alone would have been fatal. With her? I know she's injured but I've no doubt she'll heal eventually."

"You weren't the only one capable of fighting you know? We all let her get away."

"It would have taken a massive stroke of luck for Arthur or Sir Leon to have stopped her. And there was no way I was going to make you do it."

"Because I'd falter at the last minute?" _"After all this time you still don't trust me?"_

" _It's nothing to do with trust."_ He replied, making her jump at the connection. She hadn't even realized she'd established it.

" _Prove it."_ She thought sourly. She heard him sigh in both her ears and her mind.

" _Gaius and my mother are all the flesh and blood I have left. If one of them turned against Camelot I'd love to say I could put Arthur and everyone else above them and put them down without hesitating. But I just don't know. Oppose them, yes. Fight them? I don't want to think about it. If I did I don't think I could live with myself, whatever the outcome. I didn't want to put you in that position. Not when I could do something about it."_

" _That's what worried you?"_

His eyes held nothing but heartfelt honesty as he nodded.

"So what happens now?"

"The delay her injury causes will give us the time to establish Arthur's transition to king but it will also give her the time she needs to rethink her plans now that she knows we both stand against her. Your choosing Arthur over her is a setback, but only a setback. She's not exactly average, either as a sorceress or as a human being. She's cunning and dangerous and thanks to me she'll be back."

"And we'll be ready for her." Arthur's voice spoke close to them. Looking forward they saw their two companions had pulled to a stop in the clearing they'd stayed in the night before.

"We've all had a long day," Arthur said in response to her questioning look. "It's best if we don't push getting back to Camelot tonight. For many reasons." Grabbing his crossbow he turned to his First Knight. "Leon help Merlin set up camp. I'll see if I can find us something fresh for dinner."

Merlin dismounted and aided Morgana down before tying up their horses. "I'll go gather some firewood," she told him.

"Do you want Leon to go with you?"

"No." A frown tugged at her brow. "I...I think I want to be alone for a little while."

His eyes softened sympathetically. "Of course. Morgana?" he called.

"Yes?" she asked, turning back.

He swallowed hard and fidgeted with his neckerchief. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

 _Me too._ She tried to say it but the lump crawling up her throat prevented any sound escaping. Finally she gave a hurried nod and rushed away as her barriers crumbled and the tears burst through.

* * *

A campfire at night was cheerful and mesmerizing, and had a remarkable way of bringing together people in need of comfort. A campfire in the middle of warm afternoon did none of those things. But the four of them sat staring at it anyway.

That is, Morgana was staring. Merlin was cleaning a pair of rabbits and grumbling under his breath the whole time. Arthur was lying nearby with his arm across his eyes snorting comically in response to whatever his servant was complaining about, and Leon was looking back and forth between them, as if hoping if he timed it right he might get a glimpse of something that would make the world make sense again. She could have told him not to bother but that would require talking. Something she really didn't feel like doing.

"My lady?"

 _Apparently Leon does._ "Leon you've seen me commit what Uther would call treason and agreed not to say a word about it. I think we're past titles don't you?"

The knight bit his lip, nodded, and tried again. "Morgana?"

"Better. Now what is it, I'm brooding."

"Yes you are. Arthur does the same thing and the outcome is never good. But that's for you to find out. I was merely going to thank you for whatever you said to him earlier. Um, and to ask, well," he swallowed, "I heard you and Merlin talking earlier. With you being the older sibling, if Uther were to acknowledge you-"

She cut him off with a glare. "Even if he does, I do not acknowledge him. Gorlois was my father, end of discussion. I doubt Uther even knows what the word father means, much less how to act like one."

Leon nodded, wisely not saying anything further.

"Excuse me," Merlin murmured, pushing his way into their line of sight and hanging a large stewpot over the fire. Muttering a spell to set the water boiling, he dumped the now stripped and divided rabbit meat into the pot along with some chopped root vegetables and a packet of herbs. The smell immediately set her stomach growling.

"How long until that's finished?" Arthur asked, looking as hungry as she felt.

"It needs to simmer for a half hour or so. And no," he cut the prince off, "I can't 'speed that up a little.'"

Morgana smiled at Arthur's pout.

"Fine then, that gives us time to get in some training."

"Have fun with that."

"All of us Merlin."

"I've done enough fighting today thanks."

"Come on." Arthur grabbed his arm tugging him away from the fire. "This will be fun."

"What's fun about you using me for target practice?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Crossbow."

Arthur sighed, eyes resting on him for a long moment before turning to encompass Morgana in his look of concern.

"I want you two safe. I know your magic is powerful and Merlin I know you have done a lot to protect the knights on patrol and when Camelot's been under attack. But that's no substitute for formal combat education. I want you to be able to defend yourselves no matter the situation. And it'll be a long time before I can even think of making this happen, but I'd like to learn how to train magic users and non magic users to fight alongside one another."

"I for one would be very grateful if you could make that happen Sire." Leon said and gave them a friendly if challenging smile. "Come on you two, be a sport."

Merlin looked at her, a question in his eyes.

" _Let's give it a try. You can't say you've never wanted to beat them at their own game."_

After a minute's consideration he nodded. _"As a matter of fact I would."_

" _What do you want it to cost them?"_

" _What do you mean?"_

Morgana smirked. _"Arthur won't be able to resist setting stakes for the contest. And seeing as this will be the only time they'll have no idea how easily we are going to win, it would be nice to get something more than bragging rights out of the deal."_

" _Let me give it a little thought."_

* * *

It was a very smug Morgana who curled up on her bedroll later that night, the sounds of Arthur and Leon scrubbing away at the dinner dishes ringing cheerfully in her ears.

Her team had won handedly as she had been confident they would. Merlin's skill alone had been more than enough to assure them of that. The sight of him weaving through the shower of bolts sent his way, halting them mid flight and sending them harmlessly to the ground, had been a wonder to witness. She hadn't done too bad herself either. Even when the knights' fighting had grown desperate and they'd decided to go two on one against them, winning was almost effortless.

This was just ONE training session of course (as Arthur had been rather insistent about) but it had been a confidence boost she and Merlin had sorely needed. And the others had been grateful for the distraction if nothing else.

All and all she was pleased and, despite the dreadful way the day had started, soon found herself drifting off into the best night's sleep she'd had in ages.

* * *

 **I hope there was enough action in this chapter for you all. It was supposed to have more but then the muse decided it wanted a team bonding episode instead. At least it was plot develop ish bonding. And no cliffhanger! See Mizzymel I can do that!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm back! Thank you again for your patience. And I hope y'all like massively long chapters 'cause there was no good place to split this one.**

 **Summery: Merlin's rebelled against Camelot's law from the minute he stepped foot inside her gates. But the transition from a secret rebellion to a public one isn't easy. And thorny personal conflicts never help. Is there ever too high a cost for doing the right thing?**

* * *

"My Lord the anniversary of the treaty of the five kingdoms in just over a month and Camelot is the most logical host for such an event. When will you agree to the recommendation? We'll need time to prepare."

"Do want to answer that Arthur? Enlighten the council on the progress of your search for the escaped prisoner?"

 _Oh, don't you dare!_ Merlin braced himself for this turning nasty. There hadn't been a council meeting in weeks that hadn't.

Fortunately Arthur didn't rise to the implied insult and answered calmly.

"Father, it's taking more manpower than we have to provide aid to those the current weather is affecting. It is simply not practical to devote time and attention convincing those under my command that looking for a six year old girl who doesn't have so much as a druid tattoo is more important than that."

Uther's expression darkened as he stared at his heir.

 _Nice going prat, you had to mention the storms._

It was kind of unavoidable by this time however. The weather had been very much on all their minds the past week, starting from when Arthur had returned from a patrol to find Uther ordering the imprisonment of a family in the lower town. One of the junior guards claimed to have seen the young daughter of the family using sorcery to polish one of the ceramic bowls they sold.

It had been the worst possible timing for Uther to act on such a charge (less than a month since Arthur's decision to take the kingship for himself) and Merlin was convinced the court's presence was the only reason the current king still had his head, so great was his children's fury with him.

"Is catching the sorcerer responsible for causing these storms worth your time?" Uther pressed.

"It's nearly autumn Sire," Gaius interjected. "Heavy rain storms such as the ones we're experiencing are not uncommon for this time of year."

"If they were constant rains I may believe that. But these storms started the exact hour I passed sentence, ( _Without even a trial,_ Merlin thought) and they only start up again when I order a pyre or executioner's platform built. The rain is always a downpour and the winds drive it with such precision that not even an indoor gallows remains in one piece long enough to do its work.

"Our wood supplies have almost entirely rotted, rivers are close to bursting their banks, fields are starting to be flooded, wildfires are catching from the lightning. Clearly this sorcerer cares nothing for the welfare of our people. Now what, in your wisdom, do you propose is more important than catching them?"

Arthur didn't hesitate. "The solution to the storms is very simple. Stop the executions."

"I beg your pardon?"

"As you said father, these storms started when you brought pain and torment upon an innocent family - the members of which have been born and raised in Camelot so any magic they _may_ have certainly wouldn't have come about by choice - and they will not end until you have ceased doing so."

"They will not end until those in possession of magic are dead."

"Or more unjustifiable deaths might bring nothing but further mayhem and destruction upon the people. Are you really prepared to risk that?"

That statement prompted some uncomfortable shifting and throat clearing amongst members of the council and Merlin observed each of them carefully. This wasn't the first time Arthur had challenged his father, and the reactions of those tasked with advising the monarchy were becoming more and more favorable towards the crown prince's way of handling matters. Starting with the way he'd dealt with the guard who had made the accusation against the family in question.

The man had been seen gleefully counting his reward money at the local tavern, drinking a bit too much, and reportedly, making unseemly comments about the security around the castle. Arthur's informant had made careful note of the remarks and the prince had promptly dismissed the guard for insubordination. Uther had been miffed over the punishment but anyone reading the report of the man's words knew he was lucky he hadn't been banished for his actions.

A few of the council members who Merlin gave credit for being able to see past their own noses (and interests) had been observed treating Arthur with more deference and respect since then. Those were the kind of people who'd make good advisers.

He was finding it tricky to judge just who should be included in that category. Those few on the council who openly disapproved of the prince challenging the king's opinion in even the slightest way could be put down as doubtful for supporting a change in authority, but on the other hand Arthur was also leery of anyone who would, as Leon had put it, "jump ship the minute the wind shifted."

Merlin didn't quite get that reference (he'd never stepped foot on a sailing vessel and was perfectly content with that fact) but he understood the general idea. If they were so willing to switch their support from Uther to Arthur, then they'd be willing to switch it from Arthur to whoever might challenge him in the future.

Fortunately, he thought as the meeting was steered toward other, safer topics, the great majority were currently reserving judgement and waiting to see whose actions demonstrated a more solid understanding of leadership before they decided who deserved their support. That kind of patience would be a good example for everyone involved, especially during the transitional period.

Which Arthur swore was coming soon. Biting his lip against his frustration Merlin added a little more water to the pitcher of wine he held and made another round of the table, refilling goblets and pretending not to understand what was going on around him.

 _Only a little longer..._

* * *

"Where have you been?"

Merlin paused in his hurried entrance, taking in Gaius displeased scowl and the medicine in his hand. "Running messages for Arthur. Why?"

"I told you to deliver this headache remedy to Lady Oswin this afternoon. And to pick me some more Sticklewort and Dandelion buds."

"I picked a whole basket of each yesterday. And Lady Oswin's maid said that remedy made her lady sick to her stomach and she didn't want it anymore. I left the vial on the table so I'd remember to ask you about an alternative."

Gaius harrumphed and turned back to the table, his expression unreadable. For the first time in a long while Merlin felt a bit like a stranger in his own home. Necessity had driven him to spend far more of his time with Arthur of late, including staying in the prince's chambers long after midnight so he had someone to strategize with or just confide some of his worries in. It was rare that a solution to what was bothering him was found, but Merlin wasn't discouraged by that. Arthur often felt better for having been able to say what was on his mind.

A few times they'd been up so late Merlin hadn't even bothered going back to his room, instead spending the last few hours until sunrise in the antechamber or, on one occasion, passed out on the floor in front of the fireplace. That had amused both young men greatly but now Merlin was left wondering if Gaius was feeling a bit neglected. Things certainly hadn't been easy lately, maybe he should be showing his father figure more attention.

"We're low on Comfrey," he said slowly, trying to show he hadn't been ignoring his responsibilities even if he hadn't been seen doing them. "I could pick some, after the rain stops. And I'm sure I can get the night off if you want to have dinner together."

Gaius raised an eyebrow. "Yes, just when will the rain stop? I'm inclined to agree with Uther in the fact that it's frequency is rather abnormal even given the time of year."

Merlin shrugged but thought it better to say nothing.

"And will you be actually be paying attention to what I have to tell you during dinner, or will your mind be elsewhere? Like on the scale maps of the underground tunnels leading to and from the dungeons that I found lying on your desk this morning?"

He closed his eyes is dismay. "Sorry, that was lazy of me. I promise I'll be more careful. Cheer up though, it won't be much longer and we won't have to hide those kinds of things anymore."

"You mean you're stopping these foolish endeavors to save everyone Uther decides to imprison?"

"No, I mean soon there won't be anyone imprisoned for magic. Unless they use it for evil purposes of course. It'll take some more research before Arthur can finalize a set of laws we're both comfortable with."

It was unfortunate that he said those words just as Gaius was starting to unbend from his tension filled state (it had been rough morning for both of them) as they brought the old man's agitation back ten fold.

"Merlin! If you have any sense of self preservation don't say such things out loud. The king may not be well, but there is no reason to suggest he be overthrown. You just put those treasonous thoughts out of your mind. And tell Arthur to do the same."

Looking back it would have been far easier for Merlin if he'd said nothing and just let Gaius find things out as events unfolded. But he'd rarely kept secrets from his mentor and saw no reason to start then.

"Gaius, Arthur is the one who's determined to see his father off the throne. And I support him wholeheartedly. Uther's told his last lie, and slaughtered his last innocent. You know as well as I do it's Arthur's destiny to lead Camelot. It's time that began."

"That's not for the two of you to decide. Arthur isn't ready."

"If you stopped and truly listened you would see that he is. He's been preparing for months. No he doesn't know everything but what new king does? Besides, even if he had to learn everything as he went it would still be worlds above how things are now. The people are petrified of their own ruler. No one can so much as speak to their neighbor for fear of being accused of plotting against the crown."

"Don't you think maybe you and the others must take just a little bit of responsibility for that? If you hadn't been so set on objecting to every decision he made or seeing to it everyone he accused disappeared he would not have grown this desperate. He's had these moods before you know."

"And how many of these 'moods' as you call them ended in executions?" The silence was all the answer Merlin needed. Setting his jaw he fought to keep his anger from boiling over. "Are you saying we should just let him slaughter a few innocent people so he'll leave the rest of them alone? Is that what he promised you when the purge started? 'Oh I'm just going to burn the people using evil magic, then I'll stop.' How many times did he say 'just one more Gaius, I know what I'm doing'? What excuse did he give when it came to the healers? Or those in the army with magic? Or the Dragonlords? Did my father actually commit a crime with his magic or did Uther just need a fix?"

"Now just a minute-"

"How many Gauis? It's never going to end. Surely enough years have passed for you to know that."

"There is merit in being cautious."

"Cautious yes, cowardly no. You've saved people before Gauis, I'm living proof of that. But how many more did you turn your back on, did you just let go thinking it would change things? Thinking Uther would get it out of his system?"

He turned away, running a hand through his hair. Both he and Morgana would forever carry guilt for those of their kin they let die. But it had never dawned on him just how many lives the man who'd taken him in had on his conscience. At least Merlin hoped they were on his conscience. Gaius was a good man, one of the best he'd ever met, surely all the lives lost must have affected him somehow. Why was he now objecting to someone else saving lives he couldn't?

"I have no delusions about the king Merlin. Perhaps his mind has broken - and with the damage the mandrake root did it's perfectly plausible - but there is a right and a wrong way of doing things."

Merlin couldn't help the strangled laugh that escaped him. Perhaps Gaius' past inaction was pardonable - he was after all only one man - but this attitude was too much.

"Uther said the same thing to Arthur once, after he risked his life to save me from the Mortaeus flower. Did Gwen ever tell you how close she came to getting arrested for trying to retrieve the flower from him? Should either of them have failed? Should I have died to preserve one man's opinion on what was 'right'?"

From the corner of his eye he saw Gaius flinch but he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry about it.

"You say it was the mandrake root that broke Uther's mind, but if you truly believe his chopping off the head of everyone who's been unlucky enough to get caught breathing the same air as a sorcerer is the best way to keep the rest of the people safe, then I say both your minds were corrupted long ago. I refuse to let it continue."

"And what happens if you get caught?"

Squelching the trendle of fear that threatened to rear up inside him he met his mentor's gaze. "One of two things will happen. Arthur will protect me or I will protect myself. He won't falter, and he won't fail. I won't lose faith in that, no matter what you do."

* * *

"So we can officially rule the law books out as a solution?" Morgana queried. "They haven't given you anything?"

"Nothing that wouldn't take months if not years to force the council to use." Arthur confirmed and Merlin watched her sadly cross off a line of text on the paper she held.

"And you're sure Gaius won't give us any aid against Uther's hypocrisy?"

The Warlock shook his head, heart clenching in his chest. "Soon after we got back I managed to confirm what Morgause said about both of your births, but only because I caught him off guard. Uther must have sworn him to secrecy about it, because once he realized what I'd gotten him to admit he refused to speak another word to me the rest of the day."

Brother and sister shared a worried look at his downcast expression but didn't press him to explain. Parental difficulties were a mutual problem but not one that needed discussing just then. Merlin vacillated a bit over if he should share his next thought. Then again it probably wasn't far from their minds either.

"I think we might have to consider putting plan B into action sooner rather than later."

"Which one was plan B?" Morgana asked.

"Make it look like an accident."

"Arthur!"

"I'm not serious Merlin."

"Yeah you say that…"

"I'm not. But I do have a way to turn the present situation to our advantage. My father's mental state has been a question for some time. He's taking his self-centered ideas to the extreme and refusing to listen to even his most trusted advisers if they disagree with what he wants. If we do this right and the prisoners are willing to cooperate, we'll be able to publicly expose the depth of his unfitness to rule."

Arthur looked as if he found the idea distasteful which Merlin couldn't blame him for. Still, as he'd told Gaius, he had no fear the prince would waver. It might take Arthur a great deal of time to make his mind up about big decisions but once he did, he stuck to them.

A fact proven when his friend added "I just have to make it clear I'm acting in the best interests of not just Camelot but the other kingdoms as well. My father might not have many friends but he does have allies. I don't want them questioning my loyalty as a king as well as a son."

"I wonder how many of them would question Uther's loyalty if they knew of his adultery with my mother." Morgana commented.

Merlin snorted humorlessly. "I've found records where nobles have spent nearly every last copper they possessed to get their daughter or niece or sister installed as a king's mistress. There are few at any court who would bat an eye to find out he'd taken a lover."

"But if the queen had taken one she'd be summarily executed."

He hummed a reply and she sat down in a huff. "You're sure your idea will work? Uther won't postpone the executions indefinitely. And when it comes to the problems the storms are causing, I'm not sure how to get the people to blame him for their existence."

"Arthur mentioned that very thing to the council a few days ago. It wasn't much but I saw some of them considering the fact. Uther didn't do himself in favors in his attempt to dismiss the idea that his actions are making magic retaliate. If I can step the storms up even more-"

"How's that going to affect Camelot?" Morgana broke in.

"Things aren't nearly as critical as you think. Iseldir's tribe is seeing to it the riverbank will hold, no matter how close to bursting it appears to be. They also know ways of killing off mold and mildew before it becomes toxic. So whatever leaks the houses in town suffered won't leave any permanent damage either."

"And exactly how is continuing the storms going to affect you?" Arthur questioned. "I told you when this started I don't want you leaving yourself vulnerable on my behalf. If you've poured all your magic into these storms and anything goes wrong can you honestly say you'll have the energy to protect yourself?"

Merlin sighed, massaging his temple slowly. Part of him dearly wanted to argue but that would be a waste of energy in itself. He knew his friend was right.

Up until now maintaining the storms hadn't been difficult. Starting them pulled on a lot of his magic but the rest was almost a relief. He could finally release some of the mass stores of power that had churned inside him his entire life. And each time he felt stronger, as if he were in control of his magic not the other way around. That coupled with Morgana and one or two of the druid clan leaders lending their not inconsiderable power to the cause made the whole experience almost enjoyable.

But all the support in the world failed to make up for the energy drain more than a week of constant weather manipulation put on a body. He was running out of steam and the implications of that weren't lost on him.

"Merlin?" Arthur waved a hand in his face making him flinch back.

"What?"

"That wasn't a rhetorical question."

Seemed they weren't lost on any of them. He gave a helpless shrug. "I'll hold out as long as I have to."

Arthur immediately negated that idea. "Take a rest from them altogether. The people need their crops, and there isn't a dry stack of wood in town right now. We'll be alright for a day or two. If everything goes to plan you'll need your strength at the end of them. Meanwhile, Morgana and I are going to have dinner with my father tonight." He turned to her. "Bring your sleeping draught. You can leave in a huff at some point and I'll slip it in his wine and get him to bed. Then after an hour or so I want you and Merlin to smuggle...mother of the family, what's her name?"

"Hazel." Merlin supplied.

"You and Merlin will get Hazel out through the tunnels."

"Just Hazel?"

Arthur took a minute to answer, a strange gleam brightening his sky blue eyes. He reached out and pulled Morgana to her feet, taking her hands in his. "How much faith do you have in the courage of our people?"

Morgana frowned. "In relation to what?"

"In relation to risking their life for a better world for their child."

"I think that has more to do with love than it does courage."

He nodded slowly, eyes distant.

" _What do you think this is about?"_

Merlin startled briefly at the break in the silence. For all that he and Morgana had used their mental link fairly regularly (usually as a way of passing sensitive information in a public setting) he still wasn't quite used to another voice in his head at random times.

" _I don't think even he knows just yet. Let's give him some time to think."_

"Arthur?" He spoke aloud.

"Hmmm?"

"Do you still need me, because I have chores to do."

"Wait, don't go yet. A large part of this idea hinges on us each doing the exact opposite of what we've spent our lives doing." He met Merlin's eye. "I'll be asking a lot of you. But I promise it's our best chance. I can't ask my people to show a strength that those they will follow are too afraid to exhibit themselves."

Morgana smiled warmly at her brother. "Have no fears about me. I'll do whatever it takes to get you on the throne."

He returned the smile and Merlin couldn't fend off a stab of jealousy at their interactions.

Arthur had been astonishingly respectful and kind to him the last few weeks, asking for his opinions during those late night strategy sessions, and listening to whatever concerns Merlin had about the regulations he would slowly begin to implement once Camelot was securely his. He'd even, just that morning, coaxed a confession out of the warlock regarding just how difficult things were getting between him and Gaius.

Rather than berating his servant for sharing confidential information Arthur had let Merlin vent his frustrations over their latest row. He'd then calmly reminded the younger man that the antechamber off his rooms was actually supposed to belong to his servant, adding that it wouldn't bother him if Merlin wanted to use it for a little while, until his mentor "came to his senses."

As grateful as Merlin was for all of that, the friendship they were building was nothing like the close sibling bond he'd seen Arthur establish with Morgana during the same time. A bond that thanks to Uther's hatred and his parent's fears, he would never get to have with someone of his own blood. That's not to say he couldn't form one with those he wasn't related to, nor that he didn't already care for some of those around him in that way. But the odds of hearing those feelings reciprocated were slim. After all, it had taken a near death experience for Arthur to acknowledge him as a friend. He shuddered to think what it would take to get his king to call him a brother.

"Merlin?"

The warlock blinked quickly, dismissing his thoughts. "Sire?"

Arthur gave him an 'I'm waiting for an answer' look and he forced a confident smile. "I agree with Morgana. Whatever it takes."

The prince nodded gratefully. "Alright, here's what we'll need first..."

* * *

Morgana and Gwen had been responsible for smuggling the potter's daughter out of the city, so this was Merlin's first visit to the cells since the family's arrest. He was saddened and disgusted (though not surprised) by the marked difference in their condition. Morgana had set up wards in and around the cells to prevent anyone causing them serious harm but they did little to improve the filthy conditions or lack of food they'd been subjected to.

Still they seemed well enough in spirit and hurriedly moved to the front of their cells when they saw Morgana approach.

"My daughter? Where is she? Is she safe?"

The king's ward grabbed the woman's hand and squeezed reassuringly. "She's fine, I promise. She's staying with a druid clan outside Camelot, no one knows that but us. Arthur hasn't allowed anyone to pursue her." She pulled small loaf of bread from her pocket and passed it through the cell bars. "Here, eat up. We'll take you to her."

Hazel pressed her hands to her mouth in relief before accepting the food. She only got two bites in before asking. "Wait, me? I'm not leaving without my husband. If I disappear Uther will kill him."

"Don't think of that," her husband spoke before Morgana could. "You must get to Laura. Tell her I love her, with all my heart. As long as she knows that, what happens to me doesn't matter."

"Winslow-"

"I promise you he'll be alright," Merlin told her. "There is something Prince Arthur requested we speak to you about," he nodded in Winslow's direction, "but you're under no obligation to conspire with us. If you feel our plan is too much of a risk for you to take, we'll get you both out tonight."

"I will listen." Winslow responded.

Quickly and concisely Merlin outlined the plan, making sure to be clear on the risks the townsman would be taking. Morgana rolled her eyes once but she never told him to temper his words. Both husband and wife were silent for a long time after he finished. It made him a bit anxious (the sleep spell he'd put the guards under wouldn't last forever) but Merlin forced himself not to rush them. That the prince and his companions (two of which had powerful magic) were willing to commit treason and wanted their help would naturally take awhile to process.

"Uther's the only king I've ever known," Winslow said at last. "For a long time I believed what he said. But then I met Hazel, and I discovered magic ran in her family. She didn't have it but her mother did, and for some odd reason it tended to manifest itself every other generation, so we knew the risk was there if we had a child. Laura was four when the first signs of it showed. The last two years…" he smiled. "People say there is beauty in a child's innocence, but that's grossly understating it. The things I've seen her do… And my king, the man who's supposed to put our welfare above all else, that he would dare tell me that she is an evil fit for destruction-"

He turned to his wife who, despite the terrified tears rolling down her cheeks, nodded confidently to him.

He looked Merlin in the eye. "My daughter will know a world where she doesn't have to live in fear?"

"I give you my word."

"Then I will help you, even if it cost me my life."

* * *

Waking the prat up early was never a fun experience. Waking him up early with the news Uther had sentenced the four guards on duty the previous night to death along with their sole remaining prisoner was even worse.

Demonstrating he could move fast even when it wasn't his life on the line Arthur leapt out of bed, threw on the first set of clothes in sight (Merlin had to bodily force him to hold still long enough to turn the shirt right side out), and was out the door almost before Merlin had finished explaining what he knew.

The two of them burst into the council room announced interrupting an early meeting Uther had started with two of his advisers.

"Prince Arthur!" One of them spoke up. "You're early. We just discussing-"

"You're dismissed."

"Sire?"

"Get out! All of you."

Whether out of deference or fear the room promptly cleared of everyone but the two royals and Merlin. Uther got to his and came around to where his son stood.

"Arthur what is the meaning of this?"

"I've been informed you've gotten it into your head that my men aided one of the prisoners in escaping. And that you want to execute them for that?"

Uther stole a glance over his son's shoulder to where Merlin was standing at the other end of the table, not directly behind Arthur but far from the door where it was proper for a servant to stand. Merlin met his gaze levelly. He wasn't budging from this spot.

Deigning to answer Arthur's accusation, Uther said, "The guards were responsible for the escape and they _will_ be executed."

"You never would have done this before Morgause' attack. What proof do you have? Executing them without it is not the way of justice."

"Oh? And what would you do?"

"Relieve them of duty pending an investigation. This might not be their fault. How do you know they purposely let the prisoner escape?"

"Do you prefer the blame be placed on magic?"

Merlin suppressed a sigh. _Technically it would be true this time around. But you make it sound like we shouldn't defend ourselves. What would you think of a knight that just went meekly to their death?_

"Why not?"Arthur countered. "You blame magic for everything else."

"With good reason! It's no use defeating sorcerers if you can't defeat their influence. It's crept into the heart of this kingdom. Into the heart of this castle. The criminals have not freed themselves, someone in this palace aided them. I will discover who that person is and by the time I'm through with them they'll be begging for the pyre to end them!"

"You have spent more than twenty years fighting magic. All the lives you've taken and still it rises against you again and again. It will never end like this. There has to be a better way."

"You haven't suffered the corruption. No one should suffer as I have. I won't allow the stain of magic to violate this kingdom."

"This kingdom is already violated! I've told you of the conduct of the knights in the southern villages. That's just the beginning. How many of our people are violated in mind, body, and spirit by your actions? How many lose their minds due to fear? How many are preyed upon by their neighbors and can do nothing to report it because they know they'll be murdered if they do? Because all it takes is the charge of sorcery. It doesn't even have to be true.

"You forget you are not alone. Several in this kingdom have had evil magic forced upon them. The aftermath of it never turned them homicidal. You talk of overcoming what Morgause and those like her have done while in reality you're allowing their actions to define you. Rise above it Father, I'm begging you! If one knight betrayed his comrades to the enemy would you slaughter every knight in existence to prevent them from doing the same? A wise king does not define an entire race or category of people by the actions of one."

 _This is why your people love you Arthur._ Merlin thought. _This is what will make you the greatest king they will ever know._

He fiercely wished he had some way to capture that moment for the future. To be able to play those words back to Arthur whenever the pressure was on and doubts were creeping in. In that instant Merlin vowed that he would never lose sight of that belief, no matter what trials the future held, and that his own words and actions would never cease to reflect it.

Uther was neither pleased nor swayed by his son's reasoning.

"What would you know of being king? What would you know of what decisions must be made for the sake of the people's well-being?"

"More than you could possibly imagine."

Father and son stared at each other for several long minutes, Uther's face growing redder by the second. At last, seeing Arthur refusing to back down, he exploded.

"I am your king and your father and it is not for you to question my judgement! The guards violated the laws as I have set them down, and I will punish them as I see fit! They will burn in the morning and you will be at my side giving me your full support. If I hear so much as a rumor that the prince of Camelot is in opposition to a single one of my commands I will lock you in the dungeons until every drop of your blood is scrubbed clean from the taint of magic."

What Merlin would have done in Arthur's place he had no idea but it the odds of it being what the prince actually did were, conservatively, about a million to one.

The blond man leaned in close to his father and whispered just loud enough for Merlin to hear. "If you didn't want magic tainting my blood, you should have used it to create my blood in the first place."

* * *

Insides still shivering from the venom and pure spite in those words Merlin headed back to Gaius chambers to gather the things he would need for the next day's events.

The physician looked up as he entered then turned his attention back to pouring something dark yellow and musty smelling into a bottle. He placed the bottle alongside several others in his open bag and added a few rolls of bandages to the top. Placing the closed bag on his shoulder he stood to leave, pausing only when he noticed Merlin shoving a few books of the more questionable variety into his pack.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Uther's ordered Arthur confined to his chambers," Merlin answered without looking up. "Until the execution tomorrow morning that is."

"I heard. He's also ordered the guards to forbid him visitors." The implication was clear but Merlin refused to be impeded.

"I'm not a visitor, I'm his servant. They can't stop me tending to him."

There was silence as he finished arranging his pack before heading toward his room. Gaius voice made him pause on the steps.

"You've really made your choice then."

"I have."

"So the last 3 years of protecting you have meant nothing."

"Nothing?!" He dropped his hand away from the latch and took a step closer to his mentor. "Is that really what you think? Your protection has meant _everything._ Gaius _I love you_! You may not actually be my father but you're still the reason I exist. My parents would never have found each other without you. I never would have known my father for even as brief a time as I did without you.

"You're the reason he agreed to return and stop Kilgharrah's rampage you know. He said you were a good man to whom he owed a debt. I only wish the man he knew was the one that was still here. That man would understand that those with the ability to change things have the responsibility to. Otherwise they're just as guilty for the continued suffering of others as the person who's causing that suffering. My father understood that. That's why he was willing to sacrifice for those who hated and scorned him. How can I do any less for those who love and accept me?"

Gaius gaze dropped away and he let out a sigh, every muscle in his upper body drooping. For the first time in all the years they'd they'd known each other, Merlin saw him looking his age.

"A letter came for you. I put it on your bed. I think it's from your mother."

If that was intended as a diversion from the argument it worked. Ignoring the sounds of the old physician shuffling from the chamber Merlin rushed to his room and snatched up the letter.

He'd written home the morning after his and Morgana's visit to the crystal cave, telling his mother everything that had happened. He really should have gone to explain it all in person but leaving just then was impossible. Arthur had added a note, which he'd actually written himself so she'd see the difference in the letters, telling her he understood why she and Merlin had kept his abilities a secret, and that if he were ever outed Arthur would see to it that no harm came to him.

He'd been able to hear the barely controlled panic in the answering letter he'd received, and in truth had felt rather guilty for causing it. But as he'd continued to write regularly, and the fact that Ealdor was close enough that the major news of the prince's manservant being arrested for sorcery would reach them almost as soon as it happened, her subsequent letters had gradually reduced their concerned tone down to the usual level they contained.

This however was not her normal time to write and a cold trendle of worry settled in his stomach as he hurriedly broke the plain wax seal and unfolded the paper.

 _My dearest Merlin,_

 _Do not be alarmed at receiving this, all is well. With me that is. I imagine my reason for writing will make you angry but please be patient and finish reading this before you say or do anything about it._

 _Gaius wrote to me. He says the political situation in Camelot is deteriorating and he doesn't like your involvement in it. He wanted me to write making up an excuse that would require you to come home for a while._

 _I started to do just that, several times in fact. The reason this letter is coming to you on two torn half sheets of paper is because they're the only blank ones I had left. But…_

Here several drops of ink blotched the paper, as if she'd held her pen over it for a long time, unsure of how to continue.

 _What I'm going to tell you is the last bit of information you want to be caught with in your current position, so if you destroy this letter after reading it I'll understand. But there are things I should have told you years ago. Starting with the night your father and I met…_

The castle could have burnt down around him and he would never have noticed, so absorbed as he was in her story. She described the arrival of an urgent missive from Camelot notifying her of a refugee of the purge in need of shelter, following with her surprise when a man with the looks and bearing of a noble appeared at her door, rather than the woman or child she'd expected.

She spoke at great length as to the reasons she'd fallen in love with him but was vague on exactly how long their relationship had lasted and the circumstances surrounding Balinor's leaving. The social reaction in the village when she was discovered pregnant was ignored as well, all of which Merlin was grateful for. For the first, his father had told him all he'd wanted to know on that subject, and for the second he'd lived with their reactions his entire life.

After another visible pause she addressed that last point.

 _You never said anything but I know you heard the comments. The people who said we'd both have been better off if I'd taken you away, lied about your father, and found someone else to raise you. Or even that I should have found a way to fail in carrying you altogether._

 _Whether you ever wondered about it or not, I want you to know I never once considered doing any of those things. Never once. Right or wrong I was old enough to make my own choices then, as you are now. In the end my choices meant I had to deal with the pain of losing the only man I have ever loved. But they also gave me the chance to raise a son that I couldn't be more proud of if I tried._

 _I have no way of knowing how your choices will turn out, as I suspect you don't either. I worry for you, say what you like it's what mothers do. But you've always had good instincts and if you believe you've found the purpose for your gift then I fully believe that it's true. Gaius is far older than either of us, and in other circumstances I would urge you to abide by the wisdom his experience has given him. In this though you have to make your own choice. You have the support of others around you and you have mine as well. Focus on that. Others may never accept you, you mustn't let that fear hold you back._

 _If what you are planning does go wrong then all I ask is that you do everything you can to survive the aftermath. You will always have a home with me. As soon as you feel it's safe to return to it, promise me you'll try. My only regret with your father is that I didn't get to see him one last time. I'd like to not have the same experience with you._

 _Well, I'm running out of room and words so I suppose I must end this letter now. Write back when you can. Be safe if you can, but always be yourself._

 _My love always,_

 _Mother_

* * *

His mother's words made for quite the interesting clash in Merlin's brain as he helped Arthur dress. On the one hand the support and unconditional love she'd offered felt like the missing piece of a puzzle he hadn't known was incomplete. On the other the reminder of his family's loss at the hands of the very man he was soon to confront did nothing to calm the nervous fluttering in his stomach.

Armor in place he grabbed the prince's cloak and draped it around his shoulders, bringing the blood red of the fabric to rest against the flashing silver of his chainmail. The very combination of colors that haunted the dreams of every adult and child with magic in their veins. He'd long since learned to temper those nightmares. But it was still enough to vex his already agitated mind.

"Hold still will you." He snapped as the fastener slipped from his fingers for the fourth time.

"Merlin I haven't moved. You're trembling."

"There," he exclaimed finally sliding the hook in place. "Done."

"Merlin," Arthur caught his arm as he started to turn away. "It's alright to be afraid."

"Oh believe me I am," he retorted, looking everywhere but at Arthur. "This goes against everything I've heard my entire life and I wasn't sure I was ready to put myself out there."

"Me neither."

That whispered admission forced Merlin to take a deep cleansing breath. Choosing to focus on the good in his mother's words, he raised his head to meet his friend's eyes. Noting the concern he found in them, he gave a reassuring smile. "But things are different now. I got a little reminder that it's pointless to waste time being in fear of what might happen. You, Morgana, Gwen, Leon, you all accept me. Gaius always has, even when we disagree. And after today, many of the people will too. Those that don't…" he shook his head.

"They don't matter?" Arthur tone was wary and Merlin hastily answered.

"Of course they matter, we all matter. My point is they may hate me and they may criticize me, but unless their objection about me concerns a genuine flaw - and if it does I doubt a stranger will be the first to point it out - I'm done allowing others attitudes to make me ashamed of who I am. Hearts may not always be the most reliable of guides, but in this mine knows I'm doing the right thing. I'm not backing down from who I am. Never again."

Arthur was looking at him with an almost embarrassing amount of admiration. Then it turned to playful suspicion. "Did you get that from a book?"

Merlin laughed. "No, a letter. I'll tell you later. In the meantime, My Lord, I do believe you have a kingdom to save?"

"You're with me then?"

"Till the day I die."

A brave smile flashed across Arthur's face and he clasped Merlin's arm tightly before gesturing for his crown which Merlin set carefully on his head. His friend stared into the mirror for a minute or two before turning and drawing himself up to his full height.

"How do I look?"

A few dozen replies filtered through his mind but when Merlin found himself saying "Like a king" it was nothing but the truth.

* * *

The crowd packing the courtyard were not even bothering to hide the fear and loathing on their faces. For the pyre in front of them or for the agitated man on the battlements above them.

Uther paraded up and down, his narrowed eyes searching among the people below. No doubt looking for the ward and secret daughter he'd ordered to make an appearance. Merlin cracked a small smile at the thought. He'd get his wish soon enough. At last the current king gave a nod to the signal bearer who blew a long blast on the horn silencing the distressed crowd.

A well armed pair of knights exited the castle, the shackled Winslow shuffling along between them. Four more pairs followed after, each leading one of the guards Uther had condemned for Hazel's escape. The townspeople looked on in horror as one by one they were all chained to the poles in the pyre's center.

From where he was Merlin could see the terrified expression on the guards faces, and the anger on those of knights responsible for securing them. One of the latter, an older man who he recognized as a frequent visitor to Gaius, leaned in to whisper something in the ear of the young blond man in front of him. The boy nodded in response, choking back a sob, and the knight kissed the top of his head. A final blessing, Merlin thought, and all the comfort he could risk giving.

The idea made it hard to contain the rage building inside him, and he took several deep breaths as Uther began one of his heard it all before speeches. The warlock let him prattle on to the ears of a people who exuded fear and a son who's expression could have melted iron.

Closing his eyes he focused inward, shutting out everything but his connection to the magic around him. Even after more than twenty years of oppression it still flourished in the air and earth around him. No ruler would be able to stamp that out and for an instant Merlin wanted nothing but to lose himself in it. But magic, like the people it surrounded, had feelings of its own. And right now it was very, very angry.

With his last bit of unoccupied power he sent out a telepathic message. Just two words: _"You ready?"_

An affirmative response reached him and he dropped to his knees in his hiding place. Digging his fingers into the cracks between the cobblestones - quite literally grounding himself - he called to that anger, channeling it upwards through himself into the skies above.

The effect was immediate. Just as Uther lifted his arm to pronounce sentence a heavy blast of wind ripped through the courtyard blowing everyone who didn't have the foreknowledge it was coming, or the reflexes to crouch in time, off their feet.

The people (all relatively unhurt he would be pleased to find out later) were slow in rising, many with their eyes fixed firmly on the sky. Agitated talk spread as the air remained dry and heavy, charged with an intensity they could almost see.

Uther demeanor went from smug to confused to enraged in a matter of moments. It was clear he'd guessed someone not something was causing the wind. "This act of defiance changes nothing," he shouted down at the soldiers. "Get back to your positions. And relight those torches!"

The knights looked hesitantly in Arthur's direction but Merlin didn't give anyone a chance to comply. Gaining a tenuous hold on a few low lying clouds he worked at them, sucking out their moisture and urging the build up of electricity. Within seconds they discharged their reserves sending a series of brilliant flashes across the sky, the after burn more than enough to illuminate the courtyard.

"Everyone inside now!" Arthur shouted down to crowd, and Merlin detected only the slightest edge of unease in his voice. Either he truly was as good under pressure as he always bragged he was, or he was far more comfortable with the display of magic than Merlin ever imagined he would be. Either way he was feeling quite proud. Until Uther had to open his mouth again.

"Disregard that order!"

"Father it isn't safe to be out here. This storm isn't natural!"

"You're right and I will not be made a fool of! Whoever is responsible for this, show yourself!"

"Oh, well." The panicked crowd fell silent at the sound of a new voice ringing out crisp and clear. A graceful figure in an unmistakable red velvet cloak strolled slowly and deliberately down the castle steps to the middle of the courtyard. "If you insist."

Lifting one arm the newcomer tossed back their hood and smirked up at the king. In a voice that promised she would enjoy every second of the coming drama the figure added, "I'm nothing if not your obedient daughter after all."

* * *

 **PUT DOWN THE PITCHFORK the next chapter will be up no later than the 25th ok!**

 **Also, for the record I don't think canon Uther is quite so single minded as these last few chapters will make him appear. Hopefully his attitude makes sense for the plot but if not, my apologies.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Surprise I'm early! What can I say, I have a 30+ hour work week and I'm leaving for Chicago on Thursday so I really should be starting to pack but nah. I post chapter instead. You're welcome.**

 **Summary: Facing down the person you've looked up to your entire life is going to be difficult, Arthur knows this. But fate or destiny or just life has a way of giving you who you need when you need them. And by the end of this day that'll be clear to more than just him.**

 **WARNING: Brief mention of stillbirths/unresponsive newborn.**

* * *

The family resemblance between his father and sister was painfully obvious in those few moments.

 _How have I never seen it before?_

The pale, almost pallid skin, the set jaw, and most unsettling, the glare in each pair of green eyes that said the other would bend to their will or face the consequences.

Arthur had usually turned and fled whenever these types of encounters had reared their ugly heads in the past. Now if it weren't for his heavily vested interest in the outcome, he'd be quite content to simply watch this one play out.

Shaking that thought from his head he had just enough time to notice with relief that Merlin was relaxing the intensity of his magically conjured storm before his father broke free from his stupefied state.

"Magic Morgana? How could you choose magic after everything I've taught you?!"

"You mean after everything you've done? Simple. I didn't. Magic is a part of who I am. Unlike the lies you would have us all believe, it isn't a choice and it isn't evil."

"And yet you would use it to destroy Camelot!"

Morgana cocked her head looking genuinely puzzled. "How am I doing that?"

"How do you think?! You've brought these storms that have-"

"Is that what you think _Father_?" The word spat venomously from her lips. "Well it's true I'm quite powerful. For instance, I can do this, _Bael on bryne_."

All the torches in the courtyard sprang to life.

"And this, _Abricap benda_."

The prisoner's bindings snapped off them and fell to the ground in a heap.

"But I may have misled you a few moments ago. You see, this storm? That's currently beyond me."

A roll of thunder boomed above them.

"But you have no qualms about it threatening the people!"

"Is it threatening them? _Hierste paet iecen sona_." Morgana snapped her fingers and a shimmering gold dome, a much larger version of the one Merlin had cast to protect them from Morgause, formed over the people. "The people are in no danger. Never have been."

"Casting a spell to protect them now is pointless."

"A lot you know. That was a spell of revelation, nothing more. That shield was cast before the storm even started."

"Who could possibly...?" Uther looked the crowd over anew.

 _I wonder if you'll guess._ Arthur thought. A minute later his father turned to face him. "Where is your servant?"

"I'm right here."

And so he was. Attired in his usual rough clothes, his hair mussed by the wind Merlin strode confidently to where Morgana stood. He looked paler than usual and there was a faint stain on his upper lip. Arthur hoped it wasn't dried blood but he was pretty convinced it was. Still, Merlin's expression was determined, and far more tranquil than the situation called for.

"You witnessed the magic from moments ago?" Uther questioned.

 _He'd have to be blind not to._

"I did."

"And you heard my ward claim she is not the one who brought the storm."

"I heard your daughter say so yes."

Uther's eye twitched but he pressed on. "You've had a talent for uncovering the source of magical corruption in the past. I am personally appointing you to lead the chase for this sorcerer. For the one so heinous as to endanger my people."

Merlin bit his lip, making a show of hesitating. "That may be a bit difficult Sire."

"If you're concerned about losing your place in my household have no fear. My authority overrules those who would try to harm you for following my orders."

"Ah my apologies for the misunderstanding. You see you asked me to tell you who the sorcerer is and then you said tell you who the one responsible for the suffering is. Which is it?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Which person do you want me to tell you about?"

Laughter bubbled up in Arthur's chest as the seconds ticked by. Leave it to Merlin to make an obvious question impossible to understand. For the sake of expediency he decided to translate.

"He means to say father, that the sorcerer that caused the storms is not the one who should be held responsible for the danger Camelot has been in all these years."

"On what evidence do you base this assumption?"

"On the basis," Merlin paused, met Arthur's eye, received a nod, and continued. "That if I intended the storm to harm anyone I wouldn't do this..." One silent eye flash later and a silvery blue ball of light formed in his upturned palm.

A familiar feeling of safety and awe shot through Arthur at the sight. "Finally figured it out huh?"

"Took me long enough." Merlin complained. "Awake me really needs to take lessons from unconscious me."

With a cheeky grin he tossed the shimmering globe into the air. It hovered overhead momentarily before launching into the atmosphere. Its conjurer muttered a smattering of unintelligible words and the light burst out in all directions, ridding all traces of foul weather and leaving the air crisp and clean, the skies a brilliant unadulterated blue.

"Seize him!"

Arthur's hand went to his sword as a few knights rushed to comply. What he would have done that Merlin couldn't do for himself he had no idea but fortunately Leon reached the warlock before he had to find out. Merlin tensed at the knight's touch and raised a self defending hand, but upon noticing who it was that'd grabbed hold of him he relaxed slightly and allowed his arms to be held against his sides.

"You too?" Uther's face shone with such betrayal Arthur nearly felt sorry for him. "You never said anything to support magic. I thought you were my ally!"

Merlin laughed. "Why? Because I stopped your son from killing you over your lies about his mother's death? I assure you that was for his sake, not yours. You've no idea the amount of disgust I felt afterwards."

If Arthur hadn't been staring right at him he may have missed the flicker of moisture in his friend's eyes, and the subtle squeeze to the shoulder Leon gave him. Silently he filed the scene away.

 _I need to remember to thank them both later._

"You've just demonstrated your magic can do away with an adverse weather condition," the still prince spoke up. "Would either you or Morgana care to tell the people any of the other benefits it can have for them."

"A worthless attempt to trick us," Uther said. "They can claim anything they want."

"Then it's a good thing someone who already has an awareness of the events in question can corroborate what they say."

Arthur's heart did a happy little flip inside his chest as he gazed down at Guinevere. It was she who'd spoken, having worked her way to the front of the crowd just behind the still shining barrier. Though her posture was stiff and one of her hands clenched the fabric of her dress, her voice was firm and she met his now enraged father's gaze without flinching.

 _Forgive me for ever being concerned over your role in this my love._ She may have been the least used to showing it, but Guinevere's courage was no less strong than the rest of theirs.

"Imogen," she addressed a fair haired woman nearby. "I was there when Nathaniel was born. You'd gone into labor too early and Gaius was away, so Merlin came and helped you deliver him. I don't have to remind you how he wasn't breathing, and that you thought this birth would end the exact same way as your last two."

The woman swallowed hard and wrapped her arms tightly around the toddler at her feet. "Merlin took him out of the room," she said in a small voice. "I'd already given up hope. Then seconds later I heard him cry. I thought it was a miracle. Are...are you saying magic saved my baby's life?"

"Magic made your son take his first breath," Merlin answered. "The rest of the fight was all him."

The characteristic modesty drew a grateful smile. "How can I ever repay you?"

"Just keep listening?"

Taking her cue Guinevere's eyes sought out those of a slightly under-dressed nobleman. "Lord Carlton, how many times over the past year did you quarrel with Lord Barrett over the division of your property? The markers dividing your lands kept being moved, a fact that you would have to petition the court over at least once a month. Someone would have to come out, remeasure the property on both sides, compare it to the written agreements and then order them moved back - all at your own expense. His family is far wealthier than yours so the fines the king imposed did nothing to deter his harassment. That is, when he even bothered to impose a fine."

That added statement earned a few dirty looks aimed in the royal's direction.

"Do you deny any of this?"

"I do not." The lord answered, sending another angry look to the neighbor in question.

"Do you deny also that the boundary markers have not been moved once the past month and that if you were to send someone out to try it now they wouldn't budge?"

"I.." Lord Carlton blinked, slowly putting the pieces together in his mind. "After my last attempt to stop the appropriation of my rightful property was ignored I happened to encounter the Lady Morgana. I begged her to petition King Uther on my behalf. She told me she could do better than that. She said I wasn't to worry, she'd see to it that no one would be able to rob me of my land again."

The man looked at Morgana like she'd hung the moon. Giving a humble bow in her direction he added. "My lady, I had no idea that magic could be used for such practical use. I have no words to thank you, and whoever might have aided you in taking such a risk on my behalf. If I can ever do anything for you, you've only to ask."

"Those are but two examples," Arthur spoke out. "I want to ask something of all of you. Everyone who's had a friend or family member arrested on a charge related to sorcery within the last six months raise your hands."

A good quarter of the people complied, including a fair percentage of the knights.

"Alright, now if that person was incarcerated for more than three days keep your hands up." About half the hands lowered.

"Okay, now a week." Half again went down.

"Not counting those who've suffered today, how many were convicted and sentenced to death?"

Eight individuals kept their hands raised. Arthur met the eye of each of them, remembering the reactions in the courtroom. The agony on the faces of mothers, brothers, lovers, watching the victim being dragged away. Wondering how he was ever able to turn a blind eye to that pain.

"How many of them were actually executed?"

Slowly, as if in a dream, every single hand dropped.

"There are five people present here responsible for that. Would you like to know who they are?" None of them waited for a reply, all lifting their arms high. The people stared in astonishment, sobs of gratitude and delight the only verbal response any were able to muster.

"So the corruption has affected even you."

Mustering his courage Arthur turned and looked his father in the eye. The older man was far too calm, his tone gentle almost coaxing. "I see it all now. It's alright, we can work it out."

"There is nothing to work out. I will not allow you to continue to persecute innocent people."

"Yes, yes less than ideal circumstances have forced some hasty judgments I admit. In the future perhaps more leniency can be shown, provided certain safeguards are put in place. But in the meantime…"

"Yes?"

"I must make a stand on one subject. The willful deception of your manservant in regards to his magic. Power like his does not come on all of a sudden as was the case with Morgana. He had to have been practicing for at least as long as he's lived within Camelot. Who knows how much harm his influence has led to. Don't forget he's been by your side during every major injury you've suffered."

 _So that's the idea is it? You're going to use Merlin as a scapegoat to avoid having to acknowledge your children's actions. We'll see about that._

He smiled at his father. "You're right he has been, to my everlasting gratitude. I would not have lived through half of those life threatening incidents if it hadn't been for him. For that matter neither would you. That's right, he's saved your life more than once. Even knowing being burned alive would be the only thank you he'd get."

"That doesn't excuse his treason! An example must be made. If for no other reason than reminding others what happens when they lie to their king!"

"My king has made peace with my lies."

Arthur contemplated that assertion for a moment then decided it was true. As Morgana had absolved him of his guilt so he absolved Merlin. There's only so much a person could do alone. Perhaps if his father- no Uther had help available to him back then, he'd refused to take it. Arthur wasn't about to make that same mistake.

"You know father, if you could truly convince me that Merlin's death would satisfy your vengeance then I might let you have him. For that matter being the kind of self sacrificing _idiot_ that he is, he might volunteer to die."

"You would do that?" Uther asked, a sickening gleam of hope in his eye.

"I'd consider it."

From the corner of his eye Arthur caught Morgana's black look, and the quickness with which Merlin pulled his arm free to take her hand in his. Ignoring their close contact for the moment he continued. "But you couldn't keep a vow to the woman you claimed to love. Do you expect me to believe you'll keep one to the people you hate?"

"I loved your mother!"

"And yet you seek to destroy her."

Uther's face flushed. "I do no such thing!"

"Oh but you do. I am the last of her. And yet all my life you've denied me all knowledge of the kind of woman she was and you've sought to eradicate the very thing that gave me life. The magic that you commissioned claimed her life and yet it is the only reason you have a son. How can you reconcile your hatred?"

The soft whispers that had been moving through the crowd erupted into full blown shouts of disbelief and disgust. Bit by bit the implications of Arthur's words sunk in and never had there been, and never would there be so much heartbreak and rage collected in one place ever again.

It was more than a little twisted that for all his hatred of magic a magical barrier was currently the only thing keeping Uther breathing. The knights might yet have enough loyalty to defend him from a mass riot but if even one person broke through their line that would be the end of it.

"I will not allow these lies to poison the minds of the people. The boy will die and those like him will be reminded of the penalty for crossing me!"

To the outrage of the people one of the older knights drew his sword, brashly pointing it at Merlin. The warlock gave him a disinterested look and turned his head to look at Leon who'd shifted to place himself in between them, one hand on the hilt of his own blade.

"Just out of curiosity, do you know how old you have to be for people to stop referring to you as 'boy'? I'm of age, shouldn't that mean being treated as an adult?"

The knight raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Are you really worried about that right now?"

"What? You think I should be worried about him?" The sword holding knight's face flushed purple as a few nervous chuckles broke out amongst those present.

Leon tilted his head, pondering the initial question. "Maybe you should grow a beard," he finally suggested.

Merlin's brow wrinkled. "What do you think I'd look like with a beard?" He asked Morgana.

Her forehead puckered slightly as well. "I can't picture it. Suppose you'll just have to try one and see."

Some of the tension eased as the people observed the playful conversation. More laughter scattered here and there and Arthur allowed himself to relax slightly.

"Ahem." Uther cleared his throat loudly.

Merlin finally looked up at him.

"Yes well, _idiot_ that I am I'll say you're welcome to try and kill me. Although I should mention that if you succeed all of Camelot will face the wrath of one far more powerful than you."

"I don't know what you could possibly mean. Arthur wouldn't dare stand in judgement over his own king."

 _What do you think I'm doing right now you fool?_

Aloud Arthur corrected, "I would if that is what is best for my people. But he wasn't talking about me."

"Then please do enlighten me as to who he is talking about."

Taking in the crowd's reaction momentarily, and noting with pride the determination in their gazes Arthur lost all hesitancy he had about making the clenching move. Meeting his best friend's eyes he answered the unspoken question. "Bring him."

Merlin sucked in a deep breath and raised his chin toward the sky, bellowing out a stream of words Arthur didn't understand but that sent a shudder through him straight down to his toes.

He'd never been sensitive to magic, as demonstrated by the countless times it had been used in his presence to his complete oblivion. But even he could feel the way the very air vibrated in response to the call of a Dragonlord. There was something ancient in Merlin's voice in those moments. Something primal, that spoke of a connection with the world that Arthur couldn't dream of having.

An almost imperceptible smirk danced across Merlin's lips as he noted Uther's similar reaction to the dragon tongue.

"I wondered if you'd recognize that. Haven't heard it in a while, have you? Twenty-three years give or take? The night you betrayed my father."

Arthur could see the exact moment Uther made the connection. And his father looked as sick as he'd felt the night he'd done the same. Although no doubt for an entirely different reason.

Before he could reply an immense shadow passed over the courtyard pulling everyone's attention up to the giant beast circling above them. A cacophony of screams and shouts rang out from all sides but the dragon paid them no mind. Spreading his enormous wingspan to steady his descent he landed atop one of the watchtowers with a grace that belied his massive size.

"Kilgharrah." Arthur greeted him steadily, one eye on the people below.

"Young King," the dragon replied. "And Young Warlock," he added with a dip of the head to Merlin. He then glanced around, taking in the others present. "Young Witch, Queen, curly haired knight I do not have a name for." He paused. "Oh well you're all here then. Good. Now why, pray tell, am I?"

"Why are- Did you really not tell him?"

Merlin matched Arthur's scowl with one of his own. "Of course I did. He's just trying to be difficult."

"He is right here," Kilgharrah hissed.

"And you will only remain here for as long as you behave." Merlin informed him, a subtle growl in his tone.

The dragon gave a petulant sigh, settling his bulk more comfortably on the tower. His thick tail twisted behind him knocking a considerable number of stones to the ground.

 _Uh, huh. That's coming out of your pay Merlin._

Though it was unlikely a dragon the size of Kilgharrah could have landed anywhere without causing some sort of damage. Just as well he would never be a frequent visitor to the city no matter how peaceful Merlin may claim his intentions could become.

"Uther you don't look well, perhaps you should sit down."

"What are you fools trained for? Attack him!"

Only one knight, the same that had pulled his sword on Merlin, responded to the order.

Within seconds a spear went flying toward Kilgharrah stopping mere inches from the dragon's hide, by whose magic Arthur didn't care. He held his breath along with the rest of the people as the dragon eyed the spear. A heartbeat later and Kilgharah coughed, letting a minuscule stream of fire out of his mouth. Just enough to turn the spear to ash which the dragon then blew delicately away from himself before cocking his head at his dragonlord.

"Before you say anything, that was self defense."

Merlin rolled his eyes and glared the knight that had thrown the spear. At his sharp gesture the man was pushed to his knees, his head pinned looking down and away. The warlock then gave Arthur a look that said 'start talking before I lose my temper.'

As much as he kind of wanted to see that Arthur took the hint.

"In case you've truly forgotten I asked you here as my father has just ordered your lord to be executed. As a token of good faith perhaps you could inform him of the deal Merlin struck with you two years ago."

"Ah that, yes. It is simplicity itself. He spared my life because thanks to Uther's wanton slaughter we are both the last of our kind. However his mercy held the caveat that I refrain from harming Camelot or anyone who resided in her. If I did, my life would be forfeit."

He spoke so calm and matter of fact that if Arthur hadn't seen firsthand the destruction his rage could cause he might have forgotten to be vigilant around the creature. The people must have felt the same as some of them, especially those on the younger side, were now openly staring at the dragon, their faces painted with more curiosity than fear.

"That assurance is pointless even if it isn't a lie! Camelot defeated your kind once, they can again."

"Can you?" Melin scoffed from below them. Meeting the king's eye he spoke with such a calm assurance that Uther shuddered. "The fact that this particular dragon is currently perched atop your castle would seem to refute that assumption. _Only_ a dragonlord can kill a dragon."

"But anyone can kill a dragonlord."

"Kilgharrah?"

"Yes young king?"

"What would happen to Merlin's command if he were to die? Or be otherwise harmed?"

"It would no longer be enforceable."

"At all?"

"Commands issued by a Dragonlord are voided only by their own counter-command or the Dragonlord's incapacitation."

"Meaning?"

"If any harm should befall him, I would be free to do as I wished."

"You're lying!"

"No he is not," Morgana announced. "I witnessed the truth of what he says a mere matter of weeks ago. Merlin was attacked by the sorceress Morgause, an attack that rendered him extremely ill. When Arthur and I left the city to seek aid for him, Kilgharrah had already crossed the border into Camelot and was on his way to find us. If that was possible when no one here was the cause of the harm done to his lord, what do you think will happen if they were?"

"Is that true?" Arthur asked, needing Uther to hear the answer. More importantly he needed the people to see Uther hearing it. "If the current leadership of Camelot were to harm Merlin or anyone he chooses to protect, what would you choose to do?"

Kilgharrah smiled. Not a malice filled smile exactly. More like the kind an old tutor would use when he knew his student had already come to the correct conclusion but was trying to get out of saying it.

"Use your imagination."

The fear that rippled through the gathered crowd was palpable, more than one person beginning to cry in response to it. Dipping his head slightly to the creature Arthur turned to his father.

"You've heard the bargain Father, and you've heard the consequence. As has been quite clearly demonstrated during this past week the magic of Merlin, Morgana, and those like them will act to protect its own. The days of its waiting are over. But despite everything that's happened, despite everything Camelot has put it through, it's still offering you a chance to resolve matters peacefully. Those with magic don't have to be our enemy. In fact," he stole a glance at the other side of his family, "they can be our greatest ally."

"Magic wielders-"

"Only want to live their lives. They're like everyone else. Some men take up the call to defend their homes and kingdoms with the sword, others are content to till the soil and raise their families. Improving the world with their own ordinary, unique talents. Those with magic do the same, probably better in fact."

"Until they decide to join forces and overthrow us."

"If that hasn't happened in the time from my birth until today it will not happen in the future. End the persecution and you will have nothing to fear."

"I will not bow to magic!"

Arthur nodded slowly. "I will not bow to you. You who would put your personal objective above the welfare of your people. You took an oath Father. 'Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the Peoples of Camelot according to their respective laws and customs? Will you to your power cause Law and Justice, in Mercy, to be executed in all your judgments?' Those were the vows you agreed your rule would exemplify."

Steeling himself the young royal drew himself to his fullest height and locked all sentiment away. In this moment he was a ruler, not a son. "In the presence of these witnesses I hereby hold that you have willfully and repeatedly violated those oaths. As Crown Prince and heir apparent I exercise my right to remove you from the throne until such a time as it is proven that you are worthy to retake it."

At Arthur's gesture the two knights stationed nearby approached them locking Uther's arms in a respectful but iron firm grip. "Escort him to his chambers. He's to have everything he needs to be comfortable but his leaves his room in my company alone."

"Yes Sire."

Tearing his gaze from his father's betrayed expression Arthur turned to the courtyard staring down the few council members that remained gathered there.

"There will be a meeting in the council chambers in one hour. You will attend or forfeit your seat. As for the rest of you," he paused and softened his tone. "I realize much has happened today, and in the coming months more difficulties will arise, but I pray you share my desire to see this through. I believe in equality, and that individuals should be judged upon their actions, not how they were born. There are many things that will change, but the spirit of Camelot is not one of them. Please, for now go home, get some rest. Sir Leon?"

"My Lord?"

"The prisoners are pardoned of all charges. Escort Winslow to Guinevere's home, he can join his family soon. Assign a few knights as guards for him. The rest of you are to return to your posts."

"Sire!" The first knight bowed a proud smile on his face.

"My Lord - er Your Highness?"

"Yes Sir Antor?"

The salt and pepper haired knight looked awkwardly between the future king and the young man who'd been practically glued to him from the second Morgana had freed him from his bonds. A smile tugged at Arthur's mouth.

"You're relieved of your duties for the day. I'm sure your son is anxious to remain at your side."

The knight blanched, glancing at the boy who was now staring at him open mouthed.

"He...my lord, he was my squire. But we're not.. I can't claim.."

 _Curse you Morgana, now you got me revealing in gossip._ Biting his cheek against a laugh Arthur shook his head. "I think the time for secrets is over. You have a chance to put him first, don't waste it."

Sir Antor nodded and met his son's stone faced gaze. "Please. I _can_ explain."

The younger man - Arthur cursed himself that he couldn't remember his name - flicked his eyes over his newly discovered father's shoulder to meet his ruler's gaze.

Arthur looked at him solemnly in return. _Give him a chance,_ he silently encouraged. _You'll regret it if you don't._

The blond guard gave a morose sigh but allowed the older man to put an arm around his shoulders and lead him away from the crowd. "This had better be good," he muttered as they moved out of hearing range.

Out of the corner of his eye Arthur could see Merlin chuckling at the continued exchange, but there was a sharp melancholy in his eye and Arthur's heart ached that the opportunity he'd just afforded his knight and guard was one that was forever lost to the two of them.

At least Merlin still had his mother.

Arthur knew it had been a long time since they'd seen one another. Perhaps he could give his friend time off to go visit her. Or, better yet, perhaps Hunith could visit Camelot. Maybe she could even spend the winter with them.

For Merlin's sake of course. And Guinevere's and Morgana's as well. The two of them had seemed so much happier when they'd spent time with the older woman. Something about her kindness he supposed. And her calm and quiet strength. And how even if all she gave you for dinner was a bowl of disgusting porridge you still got the feeling she'd made it special just for you.

With an effort Arthur pushed those thoughts away and hurried into the castle. He needed to get his papers together. Halfway there, he changed his mind. The urge to curl up in a ball and cry was almost choking him and if he entered the privacy of his chambers now he'd never leave them. Sending Merlin, who'd appeared at his side Arthur knew not when, to fetch his things instead he veered off and headed for Morgana's chambers.

As much as he loved his sister the two of them still irritated each other to no end. He could use a bit of that kind of distraction. After all the council would no doubt be driving him up a wall in no time. Might as well start practicing now.

* * *

"Stop fidgeting!"

"I'm sorry! I've never sat at this table before. It's intimidating."

Arthur fought the urge to roll his eyes. "You just revealed the fact you had magic to the whole city and you're intimidated by a table. Well I've been sitting at it for years. I promise it doesn't bite."

"There's much more at stake here." Morgana interjected from her place at his other side.

She didn't need to elaborate that statement. These men had been his father's council for longer than the three of them had been alive. Their support wasn't just valuable but necessary.

"Whatever happens I promise I'll protect you. Both of you."

"Protection is my job remember?" Merlin countered.

Six months ago Arthur would have laughed in his face at such a suggestion. Now he just gave a grateful if grim smile.

At the far end of the room the double doors opened and one by one the council members (minus Gaius whom Arthur had excused to tend to his father) filed into the room. A few looked surprised at the altered seating arrangement, Merlin's position in particular, but they kept their mouths shut about it. All but one of them that is.

"Sire, are you sure it's a good idea to be discussing sensitive information in present company?"

"You never objected to discussing sensitive information when he was keeping your goblet full Lord Harven. Why now?"

"My lord, we're dealing with issues involving your family."

"And my family will aid me in resolving those issues."

The smile that graced his companion's face in response to that statement was entirely too bright for the solemnity of the occasion.

 _High priority: Get Merlin's court face up and running._

Cracking jokes and rolling eyes were fine for the man pouring his wine but Merlin would need to use a more understated sense of humor during meetings from now on if he wanted to get the two of them through the day's agenda without killing someone, not to mention earn respect at the same time.

As if he sensed Arthur's thoughts Merlin sobered and lowered his head. He raised it again with a glare when Arthur kicked his ankle. His attention was then diverted to Morgana momentarily and whatever silent form of communication they engaged in had his servant (how much longer could he call Merlin his servant?) sitting up properly and steadying his gaze.

 _Good, that's a start._

Three quarters of an hour later and Arthur couldn't find it in himself to blame either of his counterparts for being twitchy. He could only assume the secret communication he'd discovered they could run in their minds was the only thing keeping them from turning a few these windbags into toads. If it wasn't so important he hear said windbags out Arthur would demand they find a way to include him in the magical opinion sharing as well.

"Sire while I respect Geoffrey's knowledge of the past that still doesn't answer the question of what happens to Camelot if sorcerers are given free reign to use their power. How do we stop Camelot from being overrun?"

"That question is ridiculous," Morgana interrupted. "And if you'd been paying the slightest bit of attention earlier today you would have heard it addressed."

The castle record keeper nodded his thanks to her and resumed scolding his colleague. "It would also be answered by taking notice of other's policies regarding magic. Escetir, Nemeth, Gwynedd, and many other kingdoms permit magic to be practiced within their borders. Never has there been a period of time when they were overrun by it."

Arthur seconded that adding, "The same was true here. I know there are some here who saw enough value in the old ways to risk hiding away records of Camelot's history before the purge. I've seen some signs of them myself." Very obscure, indirect signs but it would be enough to get tongues moving. "These records prove that in the days that magic was free life was not the cesspool of chaos and misery my father claimed it was. Others knew this to be true, which is why he ordered them silenced and the records destroyed. My father believed peace could only be kept if it was shrouded in lies. That attitude led to more than two decades of pain and sorrow. I'm not so naive as to not recognize the truth can be equally painful. But no matter how hard it is to acquire, be assured my peace will be real.

"Do not misunderstand my motivations in taking this action. I love my father and I would have been more than content to see him rule until the day he died. But I love Camelot more. All of Camelot. In a way he clearly never did. I have to do what's best for her. And now more than ever it's clear what's best isn't him."

"We understand your point of view on that Sire. And perhaps you have the...resources to see something we do not. But you must understand, we still have some...concerns about the way you put him out of the way. Your father's attitude is troubling-"

"Troubling?"

"Sicking," Geoffrey hastily corrected his companion. "But _some_ among us," the old man's expression made it clear what he thought of such men, "are not convinced he is beyond reasoning with."

"We would ask," the first councilman spoke up again, "that you consider taking the mantle of Regent for a time. Until such a time as it is clear your father will not relent in his ways."

"If he won't relent to prevent a dragon burning his kingdom to the ground, what exactly do you believe will get him to change his mind?" Morgana questioned.

The councilman put on a condescending smile. "Oh, well...you see my dear-"

"She is next in line to the throne Lord Harven, not some simpering court maid. You will address her with the respect of her station. And it just so happens, I was about to ask that very same question. Answer it."

Jaws dropped all around at his declaration but Arthur let none of his amusement or anything else he was feeling show. Keeping his royal mask firmly in place he gave the council's suggestion some serious thought as the lords floundered for something to say.

He'd known a regency was a possible course of action they'd present. Still he'd hoped to avoid having to consider it. On the face of it, becoming regent instead of king appeared a bit too much like a concession after all the planning and struggle he'd gone through. Pride told him to refuse the offer. On the other hand, as long as they understood there were changes to a traditional regency he'd make...

"My Lord?"

Arthur glanced up at the faces studying him intently. Again giving no indication of what was passing through his mind, he reached and rested a hand on his sisters' arm, giving it a brief squeeze.

"I will consider your offer. We will reconvene at 10th candle mark tomorrow morning at which time I will give you my decision along with a list of ruling powers that will fall under my exclusive authority should I choose to accept. If you have an objection to my compromise I will hear it, but I'm sure you will agree that it will be in the best interests of all in Camelot to resolve any such disagreements quickly? I will not tolerate my every command being questioned."

Knowing when they'd won (or lost depending on the point of view) the council bowed their consent and shuffled from the room immediately upon receiving dismissal.

* * *

"You've already decided haven't you." Merlin observed on the return to Arthur's chambers.

"Does my court mask need that much work?"

"No. I just know you."

 _Hmmm do I want him on my council after all?_ Who was he kidding? Merlin _was_ his council - whether Arthur wanted him to be or not.

"Are you sure you want to do this? They really have no grounds for refusing you the kingship."

"True. But I've said all along this is about what's best for Camelot. There are things I still haven't decided on once and for all. A one year transition, and one year at the most is all I'm going to allow it to last, will give me the time I need. My father will not be recovering. But if an intermediate period will cause the people fewer problems in adapting to the changes I make, then I owe it to them to put aside my pride on this point. I will still be in control, have no fear of that."

"I don't. And I'm proud of you."

Arthur wished those words didn't stir his emotions quite so much, but he'd heard them so rarely in his life it was worth it to just enjoy the warmth they caused.

The sound of footsteps leading toward them prompted him to look up. Leon approached him and gave a small bow accentuated with the air of bad news. "My Lord."

"How is my father?"

"Not well I'm afraid."

 _Foolish question. Did you expect him to be jumping for joy over being stripped of his crown and locked in his chambers?_

"Not well how?" Merlin asked, resting a hand on Arthur's shoulder. The weight of it was comforting as he braced himself for his knight's answer.

"I fear…" Leon cleared his throat. "Among other things Gaius says his mental state is such that there is a risk he might do himself harm."

"Deliberately?" Arthur asked, trying not to show in that single word how upturned his world was by the thought. "I need to see him-"

"Wait." Merlin grip tightened on his shoulder and he moved around to face Arthur. "Is Gaius still with him?"

Leon nodded. "Two knights are present as well."

"Okay, then let's just take a minute. Arthur, breathe."

"I'm alright."

Merlin's raised eyebrow showed just how much he believed that statement but he didn't verbally refute it. "I know you're concerned, but you can't rush to him over every perceived threat. Don't let him get in your head. Especially when you don't know if he's truly in danger."

"You think this might be a scare tactic," Leon guessed.

Arthur latched onto that theory like a drowning man would grip a rope. Yes, that was the kind of thing his father would do. Anything to make Arthur regret his course, to try and frighten him into renouncing his stance against his father's policies. Admittedly this was an atypical threat coming from a man like Uther, but it was one that he'd assume would be effective if Arthur were acting on an emotional weakness rather than sound reasoning.

"Merlin?"

"What I think doesn't really matter. What does matter is that we will keep him under watch for you, day and night. Sir Leon, myself, even Gwen might be willing to stand guard for a while when Morgana doesn't need her. Give it a couple of days, then see him."

"Make it on my terms not his," Arthur finished. That made sense. This was his kingdom now, and he'd fought too hard to become the leader it deserved to be intimidated back into his shell now. But he also wasn't about to leave his friends to carry the burden of Uther's machinations.

"I'll agree to your guarding him for awhile, but before this year is up I'll find other arrangements for him and anyone who wants to follow in his footsteps. Either way none of you are going to have to put up with him all night. Merlin, I want you to go to Gaius chambers and find the strongest sleep agent he has. If my father refuses to take it then do whatever you have to do to ensure he won't wake until morning."

That would be a dangerously vague order in some people's eyes but he knew he could trust Merlin not to harm the former king. For Arthur's sake.

"Shall I attend you afterwards?"

Arthur shook his head. "You've done enough. Don't think I didn't see your nosebleed earlier. Your magic might be powerful but you're still human."

Merlin's ears turned bright red. "Oh um, you see, that wasn't my magic that caused that. I was crouching in the corner for so long that my foot went to sleep and I fell off balance and smashed my nose into the wall."

Arthur couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. He tried to pull himself together quickly, he really did, but every time he started to rein in his amusement one glance at Merlin's pout would set him off again. Leon's half stifled chortling didn't help.

The warlock took their guffaws with good grace although the longer they continued the more he tapped his foot in semi impatient irritation that did absolutely nothing to make the situation less funny.

At last Arthur took pity on him and managed to get his laughter under control. Wiping his eyes he tugged his startled friend into a loose, one armed embrace.

"Promise me something Merlin?"

"Yes?"

Pulling back Arthur ruffled his hair, for once not bothering to hide his affection in the gesture.

"Whatever happens in the future, please don't ever change."

* * *

"Arthur are you there? Leon said you wanted to see me?"

Arthur's heart leaped at the sound of the sweet voice wafting through his door.

"Yes Guinevere. Please, come in."

Pushing his chair back he scrambled to his feet as she slipped inside closing the door firmly behind her. Hurrying forward she buried herself in his arms.

"Morgana said the council meeting went poorly but she didn't say why."

"It's not as bad as it sounds. This will be common knowledge as of tomorrow but I wanted to tell you in person."

"What happened?" She asked, lifting her head to give him her full attention.

"Lots of the foolish notions got thrown around and I've narrowed down who is going to remain on my permanent council by quite a bit. But the primary thing that happened is that the council put forth the idea that I serve as regent for a period of time before I become king in full. I think it only fair to Camelot that I agree to their proposal.

"Why would they suggest such a thing?"

"They think my father can still be reasoned with. In their eyes he is a proven ruler and I'm not. They're right about that and I can already foresee them trying to take advantage of that fact. I won't allow them to walk all over me but there is little benefit to fighting every decision. I can care for Camelot as Prince Regent. Not as easily as if I were king perhaps, but I can still do it. And as I told Merlin, the laws will still be in my hands. I can interpret them in the best way to protect the people. ALL the people."

She still looked uncertain but nodded slowly "If you're sure this is what's best I'll support you."

He smiled gratefully and let out a long exhale. _One worry down, one to go_

"However, some things will have to wait a little longer."

"Lifting the ban on magic for one."

"Lifting it officially yes. And something else equally important. Because of the delay, I know it's unfair to ask this now, but I can't help myself. I need to know…"

Breaking off, he moved to his desk and picked up an unassuming looking rose gold chain he'd found hanging amongst various other necklaces in one corner of the vaults. There was no way of knowing who the original owner had been. It's simplicity led him to doubt it had been anyone royal, but the color attracted him nonetheless. Warm and inviting - just like Guinevere.

Turning back he saw her watching him with concern. Inhaling deeply he reached for the band he'd worn since he was fifteen and worked it carefully off his finger.

"Guinevere. The last few years have taught me that background and station are meaningless when it comes to a person's loyalty or to their heart. The last few months have shown that a person's strength lies not in their abilities, but with what they do with them.

"I couldn't have faced today without knowing I had your support, and I can't imagine a future without you in it. If you're willing, then a year and a day from now, I will be announcing my intention to make you Queen of Camelot."

Sliding the ring onto the chain he went to hang it around her neck. She grabbed his arm forcing him to pause.

"Arthur...I. Are you sure certain? You'll be king. Other rulers will seek alliances-"

"And they will have to accept that a marriage will not be part of the arrangement. It's why I am settling this now. I wanted you to see I'm serious. I will not be swayed no matter what supposed advantage may come with choosing someone else."

"Even if she's wealthy, and kind, and powerful."

"She could be all that and more and it wouldn't matter. I would still be in love with you."

"Seriously?" Her voice trembled just a bit, bringing a smile to his face.

"With all my heart." He held the chain out to her once again. "Is a one year wait worth it to be my queen?"

Tears pooled in her eyes and every cell in his body braced for rejection. _I should have thought this through better. Marriage is a big step. I should give her more time…_

Then she smiled and stepped closer, taking the necklace from him and slipping it over her head. She took his hands in hers, kissing one of them softly.

"It is more than worth it... to wait one year... to be your wife."

Tears rolled down her cheeks as he kissed her, deeply and tenderly. And if it so happened that a tear or two of his blended with them, then that was their little secret.

* * *

 **Ta, da! All spells taken from Merlin Wiki. Also, I know it's a bit late in the game, but I've been thinking of adding actually chapter titles rather than just numbers, because I like them. Thoughts?**


	16. Chapter 16

**Almost at the end here! Hope you like the wrap up of Morgana's arc, and the hints of Mergana that I didn't plan originally plan on but I like them.**

 **Summery: Morgana finishes her closure with the past and begins plans for the future.**

"I still say we should throw a feast in celebration."

" _Morgana."_

"What?"

Her soon to be sister-in-law sighed, fingering the ring around her neck. "Why make a fuss about it? It won't even be official until-"

"It's official as far as he's concerned Gwen. You need to treat it the same. I'm 'making a fuss' as you say because it is a big deal. Maybe it's a good thing your wedding won't be until next year. You'll have the time you need to get used to the idea."

"Of being a wife?"

"Of being queen," she corrected. "And the constant attention that comes with that. It's a difficult thing for anyone to adapt to. Even more so for you given that you've spent your life on the peripheral of politics."

The other woman frowned at that and Morgana hastened to reassure her. "You're more than capable. The way you handled the people's fear during the confrontation with Uther is proof of that. They respect and trust you as a person, and never mind what the nobles think they will be thrilled to see you at Arthur's side. In fact taking you as his queen will only endear Arthur to them further given that he chose one of their own to rule with him instead of some stranger from another kingdom, no matter how beautiful or kind she may be. She wouldn't know them, you do."

She took Gwen's hands, smiling warmly. "I know there is no other woman I could so happily call my future sister."

Gwen smiled back. "Are you sure _you_ don't need time to get used to that? Feels like you only just learned Arthur was your brother."

Morgana's smile faded, a nervousness beginning to flutter in her stomach. "Well," she confessed, "in all honesty that was something of a relief to learn."

"Because you knew it meant you'd never have to be the one to marry him?"

Despite her discomfort Morgana laughed. Assumption of an eventual union between the two of them had dogged her and Arthur's entire upbringing, but neither of them had ever cared for each other that way, not even in the throes of hormonal adolescence. A good thing, as it turned out.

Gwen took her laugh as a confirmation. "That can't have been the only reason."

"Does it matter?"

Her companion just looked at her. _Stubborn woman. I hope Arthur knows what he's getting into._

"Alright, I'll tell you, but swear on your engagement you won't tell another soul."

"I swear."

"I'm relieved because Arthur has blue eyes."

"I beg your pardon?"

"It was during that vision of the future I saw. When I was speaking to Mordred there was a crowd of children waiting patiently with me. I'm pretty convinced older versions of Leo and Sunny were part of it." Gwen gave a big smile and she continued hesitantly. "They were each holding the hand of a small child. I can't tell you how, but I know that child is mine."

If it were possible the other woman's smile only increased, her eyes shining brightly. "What is it about that that has you so concerned? You'll be a fantastic mother no matter how busy you get with the kingdom."

"I know that. It's just the fact that…"

"What?"

"She had blue eyes Gwen! My child will have a very distinctive shade of blue eyes that I've seen on the faces of only three people. One of them is a woman, another is Arthur, and the last I think you can guess."

Morgana expected a gleeful reaction when Gwen put the pieces together. She didn't expect the other woman to start giggling softly in a way that made her suspect she was the one being laughed at.

"What is so funny about this."

Gwen's laughter only grew in intensity.

"What! Tell me!"

"Oh my…" the future queen finally settled, wiping her eyes. "You're as bad as Arthur. Morgana, there are thousands of men in this world. Just because you currently only know two men with a certain kind of blue eyes doesn't mean you won't meet any more. Or you could marry someone with green or brown eyes and the blue eyes come from someone else in one of your families."

Feeling her face heat with a blush Morgana attempted to shrug casually. "Hence my relief that Arthur's her uncle. I'm just glad to know there is another option. That fate hasn't decided everything about my life."

Gwen sobered. "Even if it had, you've spent months defying fate. Arthur is marrying the person he chooses. You deserve no less. You don't have to be afraid of any influence from either of us, I'll see to that. Even if the fact that you wondered for even a second if a certain someone was your daughter's father makes me unbelievably happy."

The blush returned. "Why?"

"Because it means you've forgiven that someone. Wholly and truly forgiven them. And for your sake that is the best news I've heard since we got word you were coming home. But as you said, it could be anyone. So I won't bring it up unless you want to talk about it. Now you have a meeting in one hour, hurry up and get ready."

"Yes Your Highness."

* * *

" _Forget having children, this man will be lucky if I speak with him again if he won't show up for meetings on time!"_

She knew Merlin took standing guard over Uther seriously, both to protect him from being a target of vengeance and to stop him forming a coup against his son, but did he have to put quite so much time into the job? There were several others who could do it equally well.

As she approached the former king's chambers on her fetch the warlock mission two of the guards flanking the door ceased their attempt at eavesdropping on the conversation inside and stood at attention. Narrowing her eyes she pushed her way inside waving off an offer to accompany her.

The occupants of the room took no notice of her entrance.

"One of these days I'll convince others of your agenda Sorcerer!" Uther spat out.

 _True to form as always,_ Morgana thought. As far as the ousted ruler was concerned once you were discovered to have magic you lost all rights as a person. Even being addressed by your name was forfeited. She wondered if he'd still use hers.

"They'll see you bring evil upon this land."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that," Merlin countered unflinchingly. "It's been a week and a half now and no one's sprouted black limbs or spontaneously burst into flames, not that a few of those old goats you call advisers haven't tempted me to give it my best shot."

"What stopped you?"

"Arthur says replacing the lot of them would be a trifle inconvenient just now. I bow to my king's wishes."

Uther sneered at him. "You mean your regent. That's all he is. So don't get comfortable. The people may be fooled into thinking your kind are harmless but that will change when they realize Arthur won't be removing the ban. He won't have the power. Not for as long as I live."

Merlin tilted his head. "Perhaps. But even if that is true he'll have the power to pardon those who do no harm. To motivate all his people to do good towards one another. It won't be long before everyone will learn the rewards and consequences of their actions. They will see what _true_ justice is and they will follow. No one will ask why a formerly barren field is now producing in abundance or why someone ill has a near miraculous recovery. The guards will learn what actions are a waste of time reporting."

"You would see my son become a hypocrite."

"I would see him become the king you should have been!"

"You won't get away with this forever. I have allies!"

"Do you? Or do you have those too afraid to contradict you? Fear makes people obedient, it doesn't make them loyal. Give them proof no retribution will come upon them and you just watch how fast they'll flock to Arthur's side. The people _love_ their regent. And their princess for that matter, assuming she forgives herself enough to say she's worthy of that role."

"A king's power is not granted by his people's _love_."

"You would think differently if you'd ever had the people's love." Morgana snapped.

Merlin cast an unimpressed but unsurprised look in her direction. Apparently he'd been aware of her presence all along.

He turned back to the heartbroken look on Uther's face and spoke in an infuriatingly comforting tone. "He had their love once. He deserved it once. You know what I was thinking the other night?"

"I'm waiting with baited breath."

"I don't actually hate you." Merlin continued as if the other man hadn't spoken. "On my father's behalf I really should. But I don't. You made a horrible mistake and you've never been strong enough to get past the consequences. You only saw what you lost instead of the you had the potential to gain."

"What can you possibly mean?"

Merlin looked at her. _"Should I bother?"_

Unsure of his meaning she merely shrugged.

"There's a prophecy known to the druids. It speaks of a king who will rise from a time of great upheaval and unite the land of Albion. He will bring people from all kingdoms and walks of life together under one peaceful rule. It doesn't say just what the crisis facing the land would be or what kind of measures the king would have to take to accomplish his goal. But you've already proven to a small degree that it is possible.

"You've formed more alliances with other kingdoms than any of your predecessors and found more peaceful solutions to conflicts than any of the other current rulers. From the time you became king to the time you declared war on magic the conflict with Caerleon was the only one Camelot was involved in. And even that was rather short lived, all things considered. The trade agreements and treaties you've negotiated would more than balance the scales.

"A united Albion should be more than just a distant dream right now. The king the druids look to could have been you Uther. It should have been you. Arthur shouldn't have to - no heir should have to - atone for this much bloodshed. These past twenty plus years of slaughter haven't been due to land or ideological disputes, they've been one sick man trying to use blood lust to appease his conscience."

Uther seemed on the verge of a fit of anger and Merlin changed tactics once again. He leaned forward onto the desk separating the two men, lowering his tone into something calm and persuasive.

"Even now you could help him. Show the people Arthur has your support, guide him when he comes to you with questions. Build him up instead of tearing him down. You'll never be king again, I promise you that. But you could be a father."

Morgana barely hid a flinch as a sly smile touched Uther's mouth. Merlin's comments had started strong - impressively so - but that last plea had showed his weakness. Well Uther would see it as weakness.

Unwilling to allow him to take advantage of the opening, she grabbed a hold of her warlock friend's arm and gave it a hard yank.

"Merlin, let's go. Arthur's expecting us."

We came willingly enough although she still felt as if she were half dragging him from the room.

"Don't let that fool get to you." She chided when they were some ways down the corridor away from overhearing ears.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't mean to it's just...he was a decent man once upon a time. He made a decision using incomplete information, without thinking through what could possibly happen, and lots of people died as a result. Half the people I know have done the exact same thing. If he would only acknowledge -"

"You can't save him."

"I'm not trying-"

"You are. You're a protective, and dare I say it, caretaker, type of person. You want Arthur to be able to have his cake and eat it too. But it won't work."

"You changed, why can't he?"

"I…" She paused, thinking hard. "A few more years and I wouldn't have. I don't need to see the future to know that. Just as I don't need it to see there is nothing that you or I or anyone can do to convince Uther to seek atonement for his sins. And I refuse to see you wear yourself out trying."

"Better me than Arthur."

And there was the chink in the armor once again. Merlin cared too much where Arthur's happiness was concerned. Uther wouldn't be the only one to seize that as a way to manipulate him. Actually if her suspicions were correct he wouldn't even be the first to try it.

Forcing down her irritation she shook the arm she was surprised to find she was still holding, forcing Merlin to look at her. "Arthur is a grown man capable of making his own choices. You need to stop focusing on living his life and start focusing on living yours. You have a chance to do that now, and several of life's opportunities comes with limited availability. Don't waste them."

Point made she turned on her heel and marched away leaving him to catch up.

* * *

"Do you have a report on how many families have a claim of unjust arrest and execution involving a friend or relative?"

"It's not finished. We haven't been able to get through questioning all those in the citadel and lower town but so far we're estimating claims from a minimum of 40% of the population."

Arthur blinked at her in surprise. "That's not as high as I expected."

"It could be some time before we can confirm their stories."

Arthur rubbed tired eyes. "Well if there was one thing my father was good at it was ensuring all executions were accounted for. Fortunately record keepers are detail oriented and weren't inclined to just write sorcery as the charge and leave it at that."

"What are your plans as far as reparations are concerned?"

There was no hesitation in her brother's voice. "Effective for the remainder of their life in Camelot they'll receive a reduction in taxes equal to five percent for every year they suffered, either from the loss of their loved one or just from the slights and suspicion they had to live with from the accusations.

"That's not all of course," he added, completely misinterpreting her surprised expression. "But it's the easiest restitution to implement quickly."

"No that's not… that's amazing. But how will you answer the concern over how the loss of money will impact the kingdom?"

Arthur snorted. "I wasn't forced to spend hours pouring over reports of crop yields and levy routes for nothing. I know the kingdom's yearly intake and output by heart. We could cut the tax rate for the entire population in half and still have a solid three years of profit - barring a war or famine of course.

"If I'm able to make good on even half my plans even a disaster such as that will have little to no impact. I'm primarily concerned about building trust with my people. Given time Camelot's

rapport with magic users will build, so they may be willing to put considerable effort into helping us recover. I'm also not of my father's opinion that it's better to protect my pride rather than request aid from my allies."

"As Camelot's relationship with magic improves, it also has the potential to form alliances with other kingdoms who never banned it." Merlin pointed out.

She agreed. "A very solid beginning I'd say. I might have some suggestions as to how we could improve life in other ways, however."

"I'm open to whatever you think could improve the lives of our people. In fact," Arthur glanced over to the opposite side of the table. "Merlin can you…?"

The other man got to his feet immediately. "I'll leave you two alone."

The moment the door closed behind him Arthur spoke, his voice low and urgent. "I know it's a break with tradition, and I'm going to have to fight to get it properly recorded as fact, but I want to go ahead and announce you as Princess of Camelot officially. You'll serve as my First Adviser and heir until one is born to me. I've also decided to grant you co-regent status along with Guinevere should I die before my child is of age."

Later she would deny to her last breath that she sat dumbfounded long enough for Arthur to consider fetching Merlin to see if she was in need of magical resuscitation. Finally her wits returned enough to start forming questions.

"How is the council going to react to all this?"

Arthur's gaze hardened. "They have no say in the line of succession and I have no intention of allowing that to change."

She nodded absently her mind reviewing his words.

"Child."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You said until your 'child' is of age? Not your son?"

He nodded seriously. "Obviously it would make everything simpler if it was a son. And I won't deny that I want one - someday. But I'm not picky as far as the rest of it goes. The throne will be passed to my firstborn so long as he or she dedicates themselves to the people of Camelot and to maintaining the peace that I hope my rule will establish."

Her heart warmed at yet another sign of Arthur superiority to his father. Given the way some members of the council had tried to protest the "irregularity" of a woman being part of their meetings she had a strong suspicion Uther would have passed over her for the throne even if she had been born by his legal wife.

"There's more," Arthur added quietly.

"Don't say it, you've picked out an ideal husband for me as well?"

Her brother's eyes widened in genuine fear. "No thank you, I value my life."

The faint tension broke and they shared a laugh.

"What I will say is that there is one other role for you to consider taking on in addition to all I've already mentioned."

"I'm listening."

"I'll need someone to oversee the magical laws. I'm not trying to push off responsibility," he added quickly. "But I don't have any magic and I'm doubtful I could learn it - or if I even want to try. I need someone who can see both sides of the story should conflicts arise after the ban is lifted. Someone people with magic will know has open and official authority. Someone they can go to for help should I be absent or...you know, if they can't bring themselves to trust my judgement."

The healthy dose of self-loathing in those words surprised her, as did the trust they showed. He was offering a not inconsiderable share of his authority, something some would not hesitate to take advantage of. The action was humbling.

"I can't see any major reason why I would say no. But I'd still like a little time to think about it."

 _To find out why I'm being asked when I know I can't have been your first choice for something like this._

He thanked her, giving no sign of noticing her internal questioning, and moved the conversation onto other topics.

* * *

 _Why is this so...oh I GIVE UP!_

Grinding her teeth in frustration she yanked her gown's laces open from where the spell she'd cast had tied them entirely too tight and started over.

 _Some princess I am. Supposed to be giving advice on how to care for a kingdom and I'm outsmarted by my own dress!_

Of course Gwen could be taking care of the laces for her, would be more than happy to do so in fact. Or she could have summoned any female who happened to be walking by her chambers and pressed her into performing the task. But that might lead to questions, and she really wasn't in the mood to explain herself.

Finally getting the dress tied in a way that wouldn't cut off her air supply, she stood straight and smoothed the rich purple fabric beneath her hands. It wasn't her finest gown of this color, that had disappeared from her chambers a few months prior to Morgause taking her away and she'd never discovered where it had got too. Perhaps it was torn and Gwen never bothered repairing it since she was gone. She'd have to ask.

Shrugging the thought away - fussing about her clothes could wait - she dug in the bottom drawer of her wardrobe for the box she brought with her to Camelot all those years ago. Inside lay a silver chain with a teardrop shaped amethyst hanging from it. Her father had given it to her the night before he left, saying it had belonged to her mother and if anything happened to him it would keep her safe.

She'd worn it every day for two years until Uther had started lavishing gold and emeralds and other precious gems on her. Jewels she now knew had been far too extravagant for someone of her young age. It had done the trick though and this necklace had laid unworn for far too long. With a small sting of regret in her heart she fastened it around her neck, gazing admiringly at the contrast the dark stone made against her milk white skin.

Her mind briefly toyed with the idea of adding her healing bracelet as a finishing touch but decided the effect the sight of it would have on the object of her visit wasn't worth the risk wearing it might bring to her. Merlin had assured her - and himself - that there were no curses embedded in the metal, but still better safe than sorry at this point in time.

A last look in her mirror pronounced the overall effect her appearance made to be suitable enough even without the sign of her adopted father's house. Another bit of sorrow rose up that she didn't look more like her mother. Uther apparently had had a thing for blondes and seeing the woman he'd used and abandoned reflected in the child she'd born would be a small dose of justice.

Oh well, she could bring justice in other ways.

* * *

Uther was standing by the back wall of his chambers when she entered. His eyes widened as they took her in, forlorn expression shrinking under her strong, unflinching stare.

"I hear you've been asking to see me."

He flinched and returned to looking out the window.

"Arthur's made you his heir."

 _Ah so you were listening to the speech this morning._ "Yes he has. It's only fair after all. Well you could argue fair would be if he were my heir but that's not worth going into. I'm satisfied with his choice of queen."

There was no breach of confidentiality in mentioning the soon to be public relationship - they'd guessed that deep down Uther knew about it anyway - and she'd been looking forward to poking at that subject to see what the reaction would be. He didn't disappoint.

"So he means to bring shame on everything I've taught! Everything I raised him to be! A prince must marry someone of his station, for the good of the kingdom. He must think of the future. No one will follow the rule of a son he sired on a penniless serving girl who knows nothing of being queen!"

She barely swallowed back a laugh as she watched him pace.

"Will you follow his lead? You could be wed to a king, will you choose below you as well? Will you suffer the attentions of a half-witted servant for the rest of your life?"

The implication was clear and while her feelings for any man - and Merlin in particular - needed a great deal of sorting out this was too great an opportunity to pass up. It wasn't like Uther would hate him any less if she ignored it.

"He would hardly be below my station," she said, tilting her head as if deep in thought. "In fact you could say he's the cream of the crop as far as magic is concerned. You acknowledged his power yourself. And on top of that he's only Dragonlord that we know of. Arthur hasn't been able to get specifics but we know the dragonlords were once revered in Camelot. By those standards he could have his pick amongst any number of women, magical and not. Were we to choose each other many would consider me to be the lucky one. But there'll be plenty of time for me to decide on a husband after Arthur and Gwen wed. I shouldn't get ahead of myself.

"Although since we're on the subject, which of us do you think will become parents first? I've seen my child you know. One of my children anyway. A little girl. She has dark hair, my nose, and the bluest eyes you've ever seen. It's as if someone carved out two pieces of the sky and put them inside her." Her mouth formed into a genuinely soft smile. "She's beautiful. But as excited as I am to meet her I'm in no rush. These things happen when they do. A pity you couldn't temper your impatience the same way."

He didn't pretend to misunderstand her. "You know nothing of the pressures involved in producing an heir. It had been years and Ygraine had yet to show even the faintest signs of conceiving. I had no choice but to act as I did."

"There's always a choice."

"There isn't! The council was getting restless and she was getting old."

"Old? Old?! You show your ignorance with every word you speak. At the time of her death Ygraine was _twenty-six_! With the proper care women can and have safely delivered children at forty. Who would have better care than a queen?"

He dropped his gaze, unable to bear the reproach in her eyes. In the past she would have discounted his pain and continued her verbal onslaught. Would have asked what he would have done if she'd been a boy, or if his queen had discovered what she was to him and ordered her dead to "protect" the inheritance of the child she hoped to bear. But even if he could give an answer it was irrelevant now. None of them could turn back time and no good would come from harping on wrongs committed in the past. It wasn't fair, to dead or to the living.

"Did you ask me here only to justify your actions or was there something you wanted?"

He drew himself up in imitation of a man presiding at court. "I have borne the indignity of being locked in my chambers for six weeks. I demand-"

This she would have none of. "You place one foot out that door and you'll be lucky to draw it back still attached!"

"What are you talking about? No one would dare attack-"

"They would and they have! I don't think you need any guesses as to why. Or how they were stopped." The thought made her slightly ill but she agreed that attempted murder was attempted murder, now matter how justified it might personally appear. Arthur wouldn't gain the people's trust in his protective measures if he allowed his own father to be struck down inside his very home.

Uther didn't try to speak again. He looked sad, almost broken, and she hated the tendril of pity the stirred inside her. He didn't deserve it no matter what Merlin might say. Seeing no good would come from lingering any longer she headed to the door.

"Morgana." He called as her hand gripped the handle. "Despite… despite whatever... crimes... you may think I committed, I've only ever wanted what was best for you."

Taking a deep breath she looked back over her shoulder, taking in the visage of the person she could have easily become.

"I hope one day you can really believe that."

She left without another word.

* * *

"So you can be on time," she observed stepping out onto the battlements where Merlin had agreed to meet her, eyes blinking rapidly to banish the black spots caused by the bright sunshine gleaming off the stonework.

"I'm always on time," a familiar voice answered.

"Are you?" She replied after allowing herself a moment to relish the delightful warmth of the kind of day usually lost to the chill of the mid-autumn weather.

"Of course. I arrive exactly when I mean to. Wizard's prerogative."

"Well, I see what you're going to be like when we're all eighty years old. Lines like that will be driving my nieces and nephews absolutely insane."

Merlin chuckled. "A worthy goal you have to admit."

She couldn't hold her stern expression and smiled in return.

"How do you think the other kingdoms will react to seeing the changes that have been made here?"

He didn't answer for a while. "Arthur's well liked among the other rulers. If he shows his confidence in the choices he's made I think they'll respect them. Camelot has thrived these past two months, anyone can see that. The knights are loyal to him and even Uther's friends like Lord Godwin have members of their households in our debt. I think the summits will go well."

She agreed adding, "At least Arthur was smart about bringing them in one at a time. Each of the rulers will have to form their own opinion. They'll be less likely to just fall in with whatever the louder mouths have to say."

A loud signal rang out as a caravan of troops and servants in blue and violet livery marched into view.

"Although why he chose to accept Alined's company first is a bit of a mystery." She added as the two of them headed inside.

"That was my suggestion actually. I wanted to clear up a thing or two with his servant Trickler. He's the one who entertained you all at dinner two years ago."

She thought back to the dinner he was referencing. "He conjured a butterfly from Lady Vivian's hair."

Merlin snorted. "Her hair was of great interest to him during that visit. Arthur's too."

"What do you mean?"

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Arthur doesn't naturally fall head over heels for someone he wanted nothing to do with the day before."

"Ah. That does make quite a bit more sense now. I assume you broke the spell during his fight with Olaf?"

"More to the point I got Gwen to break the spell. True love is more powerful than any curse."

"Good to know." A heartbeat of slightly awkward silence passed then she asked. "What do you intend to do about this Trickler?"

"Keep an eye on him for the most part. But if you'd be willing to help we might be able to give him enough incentive to abandon working for Alined altogether."

"You want to offer him a job?"

"More like...sanctuary. It'd be a long while before I trusted him with any contributions to the Kingdom. But just from the way I observed Alined treat him during their last visit I'm reasonably sure his actions in casting the love spell were motivated as much by fear as they were by loyalty. He wouldn't have to worry about that here. Arthur may not trust him but he'd never abuse him, or allow someone to threaten him into using his powers for their benefit."

"Do you think he'll accept your offer?"

"I hope so." The 'I'm tired of being at odds with my own kind' went unsaid.

It struck her how lonely he must have been all these years. Growing up only having one friend who accepted him, then losing that friend, and everyone he came across who had magic being too bent on revenge to appreciate the opportunity for an ally. He could have tried harder to meet them in the middle perhaps, but she could have done the same at times herself. She tucked that information away to serve as a future reminder for them both.

"Speaking of accepting things, alongside my other duties Arthur wants me to take on the role of magic's representative at court. Unofficially of course." They both chuckled. "I'm curious as to why you didn't accept the offer."

"What makes you think he asked me?"

She arched an eyebrow.

Merlin scratched his head. "It's not the right time," he finally answered. "I may have a deeper understanding of magic itself, but you know the laws. Both current and past. You'll be better at finding the right way of blending the two. Maybe that wouldn't matter so much if Arthur had come to the throne a different way. But he's going to have a hard enough time changing things as it is. Better for him to have someone of near equal rank at his side. He shouldn't have to worry about teaching a farm boy from Escetir how to command a council's capitulation on top of everything else."

She nodded in understanding, although the taunt still escaped, "Still putting him above everything else?"

"For now."

Fighting the urge to demand he explain she gestured indoors. "Come on, we'll need to be down there when they enter the courtyard."

Accepting the direction he stood back for her to proceed him which she did for a few steps before pausing and slipping her arm through his so they could walk side by side.

"For now" was a good place to be, she thought. They were both still learning. But she wouldn't mind continuing to learn alongside him.

In whatever that turned out to entail.

* * *

 **And that's a wrap! Epilogue and sobby author end comments coming soon.**


	17. Chapter 17

Being able to move among his people without having to worry about attracting unwanted attention had distinct advantages. The newfound freedom was due in no small part to the borrowed cloak Arthur had pulled tightly around his shoulders. Not that he was going to be thanking the author of the spells woven into the thick, itchy, entirely too heavy for summer fabric, anytime soon.

Still, being tucked into his own personal cocoon - and putting up with Leon's not quite so inconspicuous shadowing - was a small price to pay for getting out of the castle after what felt like a month but was in reality little more than a week. One week since he'd been crowned king. One week since his father had left Camelot.

It had been a hard fight on all their parts, but with current alliances as strong as ever and new ones well on their way to completion the council had no grounds on which to withhold their acquiescence to his ascension and he'd taken the throne a full quarter year sooner than expected.

Uther had been deemed unwilling and unfit to provide guidance for the transition of power and had been moved to the estate of Arthur's sole remaining uncle. Agravaine had never liked his brother in law, even before the death of his siblings and his own banishment to his family's lands. But he did profess fondness for his nephew - and was the type of man to be rather easily intimidated by the power held by those who supported said nephew - so they were confident Uther would be safe and well looked after.

The estate was but a few day's journey from Camelot proper so Gaius would be spending a great deal of time there as well, monitoring the former king for signs of worsening health. He'd be making the trip there and back in one of two newly constructed carriages the council had finally talked Arthur into commissioning. The new king hated the idea and had passionately vowed he would never use them even if he should be on death's door, but he had been forced to acknowledge their practical use for transporting those of his companions who were aged and, it was not so secretly hoped, the family he and his queen would someday produce.

On that subject, he couldn't conceal a broad grin as he wove in and out of reveling crowds, people abuzz with the news of their king's engagement. Morgana had insisted he give Guinevere a proper proposal. One that included actually asking for her hand, on one knee, in public. It was only fair, she'd argued, and necessary. None of the nobles could argue the legitimacy of the act when half the population of Camelot could stand witness to it. Also Arthur was the only king the majority of them would truly know. They deserved to be able to follow his family from start to finish.

He'd followed her advice begrudgingly but hearing the joyous cheering from the crowd as he'd transferred the ring from his sweaty palm to his future bride's finger made him glad that he had. Half an hour's time had him through the bulk of the merry makers and into a quieter corner of town. He paused thoughtfully, his eyes sweeping over the homes and walls that had lain in shambles not so very long ago and were now as sturdy and clean as if they'd never felt the heat of a dragon's breath or enemy's torch. It was a peaceful feeling. One that was promptly shattered by two bodies diving out the front door of the nearby tavern and landing face down the dirt.

One of them, a man a few years older than Arthur with shoulder length brown hair and and an entirely too self confident manner, pushed to his feet hauling the other man up with him. His words weren't entirely decipherable from a distance, whether due to drink or emotion Arthur couldn't tell but he was clearly on the verge of causing a major incident.

With a sigh and and eye roll the king decided to step in before anyone got hurt. Heading over to where they stood he wondered how he had ever thought Merlin was a frequent visitor to a place such as the men had just vacated. The environment was completely opposite to the man Arthur was finally coming to understand.

"That's enough. Whatever your dispute you can resolve it now - civilly - or you can both be arrested for disturbing the peace."

The seemingly aggrieved party in the dispute lifted his head and gave Arthur a toothy grin, white teeth shining brightly through his unkempt beard.

"Appreciate the input mate but this is a personal matter."

"Not anymore. I order you to release him."

"On whose authority?"

"The King of Camelot."

"Uh huh, I'd sooner believe you were king of the druids."

Part of Arthur wished Merlin was with him, just so he could see the look on both men's faces at the retort he could make to that. As it was he merely waved to Leon (who was now making no attempt to conceal his presence) to move closer and lowered the hood of his cloak.

The stranger's grin faded at the sight of him but not into a look of fear or anger. He appeared to hold a debate with himself for several seconds then nodded, a slightly more resigned version of his grin appearing.

"Well now. I have no qualms about admitting if this were any other day you'd be the last person I'd care to see but in this case...I think there's a mutual benefit. This fellow," he shook the slender, bearded man he still held by the collar, "goes by the name of Borden. He's a thief by trade and he's set his sight on your vaults. If you search his pack here," he tossed a beat up leather satchel at the king who caught it one-handed, "you'll find an object he claims you have the missing piece to. A piece he intended to remove from your possession this very evening."

Arthur's gaze narrowed but he kept his voice steady. "That's a very serious charge to make. Do you have proof?"

With a nonchalant shrug the man gestured to Arthur's hand. "Have a look for yourself. It's the druidish looking thing. Someone in that fancy castle of yours ought to be able to confirm what it's for."

"And just where do you fit into this scheme?" Leon spoke up. "Care to tell us your name?"

"Nope. That's how relationships get started and I've had my fill of those. Something squirmy here failed to get through his thick skull."

"You're one to talk!" The alleged thief spoke up getting a smack on the back of the head for his trouble.

"My 'involvement' your Knightliness, was accepting the lump's offer to pay off my bar tab - I may have overreached myself," he added as an aside to Arthur. The king arched an eyebrow. "Anyway he took that as having an interest in being an ally in his little scheme. And when I didn't join up he tried to recoup the money by taking what belonged to me."

"What's a trifle trinket when you could be rich beyond your wildest dreams?"

The stranger gave another toothy grin. "Not the brains of the family were you?"

Arthur had to agree. Coerced confessions were unacceptable in his court but this man was hardly under duress.

He watched their informant reach down and dig in the prisoner's jacket. A moment later he held up a chain with half silver disc and man's ring dangling from it. "It's quite simple. See this? It's the only thing I ever care to have hung around my neck. I'll risk my life in a good fight any day, but an execution doesn't fit my definition of a good time. Royalty is off limits."

"I appreciate that."

The man glared at him. "It's hardly for your sake. Now, I do believe I have spent enough time here. I've done my part, I leave the kingdom in your oh so capable hands."

With a shamelessly impertinent salute he dumped Borden on the ground and started walking away. Leon stepped neatly into his path.

"In case you didn't get the message mate, I'm leaving."

"And if we need to find you?" Arthur asked.

"You won't," was the cheerful reply. At a nod from the king Leon, reluctantly, moved out of the way.

"Ah thank you very much."

Some distance down the road the man paused and tossed back over his shoulder. "Tell you what, a little guy on a bridge once called me Strength. Don't know what he meant by it. In fact he disappeared a second later so I can't promise you the whole deal wasn't a drunken hallucination, but if you ever find yourself desperate for my company start with that."

With that he sauntered away, whistling a jaunty tune.

* * *

 **There you have it. I know it wasn't that long but I mainly wrote this as a thank you to all you readers who stuck with a story that neglected to include your favorite character. :P**

 **That said, I also have a MASSIVE thank you to say to everyone who favorited, followed, commented (both users and a special thank you to guest reviewers who I couldn't say thank you to personally) and everyone who just flat read this story period!**

 **It's hard to let go of this story but I'm proud of myself. Finishing this - finally - is huge for me (I mean 90k+ words? Holy cow I wrote a novel!) Anyways, I've had some people ask about a sequel and I may do more in this universe BUT I have at least two other stories I want to get finished/start posting first. They've been neglected far too long. So** _ **if**_ **you think my writing's half decent be on the lookout for those, probably starting early next year.**

 **But even if you don't just...thank you. Y'all are amazing. Please keep up the encouragement for all writers you even halfway enjoy. It means more than you could ever imagine. :)**


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